Some may remember this. Just making an update as Jean The Jacket has gotten worse recently.
Jean disappeared from the station for about a month, in December, then returned with a vengeance and a new coat. Recently, the following has happened:
-"The Boss": I'm standing in my usual spot and jean jacket lady comes to stand to the left of me. Right before the train comes, this older lady with a nasty scowl and a huge suitcase comes and stands in front of jean jacket lady, who is visibly enraged by this. The train comes and the two of them have this intense battle (I.E. trying to walk around each other) to get on...only the doors are to the right and I and others get on first. Amusing note- scowl lady got off at the same stop as jean jacket lady..which is only a few stops away.
-"The crowd": Last week there were a few days where it was really cold. On one of those days, the trains had problems -why nobody knows- coming on time. I must have been standing there waiting for 30 minutes for the train to come from one stop away. When delays like this happen, it's pretty obvious that the train is going to be packed. When the train comes, Jean jacket lady attempts to get on first and fails. I get on and actually am able to get one of the few open seats available. Jean jacket lady does not and actually has to stand up. I looked up and noticed that she was standing there, with this look of absolute shock and her mouth hanging open. 
-"The new challenger": This just happened this morning and was the best incident by far. I'm walking towards the stairs that go down the platform. Everyone there is walking pretty slowly; no rush since the train isn't due for another 5-6 minutes. Then I hear someone running. There's some kids behind me talking, so I figure it's one of them. NOPE-- Jean jacket lady is running/walking as quickly as possible down the stairs, and is actually turning around to see where I am. 
I almost burst out laughing. There's someone already standing in her usual spot, so she stands to the left of him. Bad move! I stand in my usual spot. Before the train comes, a rotund lady comes over and proceeds to stand to the left and slightly in front of me, basically blocking the other guy and standing right next to jean jacket lady, who like the previous encounter is actually pissed off by this. The train comes and the doors pass both of them, who try to rush over and slightly push each other, only I get on first and sit down, which again pisses off this crazy lady. (Note that there's plenty of seats available) Jean jacket lady isn't done though. When her stop comes, she pops up and rushes over to the door, cutting off other people and almost pushing someone to the floor in her attempt to leave first. This lady is fucking nuts.
I wanted to put together brief descriptions of the OLD LADY GANG that I have to deal with on the train, in case they do me in:
Pusher Prune-Face: This is the wrinkled 60-something who pushed me and got all bothered that I called her 'fucking rude' back at the beginning of the year. Haven't seen her in a while but I believe she is lurking in the shadows. Last time I ran into her, we got on the elevator at the same time and she tried to make nice. Fuck off.
The Bookworm: No real beef here, just mildly-annoying. Will always try to stand next to me, on either side, at the station when going home. Even when there's already people next to me, she will try to squeeze in. Is always holding a book up in her face and not paying attention to anything. I believe she stands next to me because she knows I have picked "the spot" where the train car with the least passengers will stop every day. Will follow my movements. One time a train going to the other station showed up early and I started walking onto it before realizing it was the wrong one. So did she, only she didn't pay attention and was off on a nice 30+ minute detour.
The Romanian Rotund: No idea what Eastern-European country she is from, but she will usually angrily waddle on over to whatever side The Bookworm is not standing on and attempt to cut in front of everyone, but fails miserably every time.
The Gabber: Incredibly extroverted woman who will start taking to anyone in her vicinity and invade their personal space. Used to try to stand in front of me with her friend but quit doing that after I would move in front of them when the train came. Has come up to me and stared at my phone screen, asking what I'm looking at (who does this?) and last week got entirely too close to me, to bitch and complain about how the machine ate her $20 and that she had to go to another station to get a refund.
Jean The Jacket: My new 'nemesis.' Always stands to the left of me at the station in the morning and will purposefully try to cut in front of everyone to get on first. Will also attempt to "race" me to the platform if she sees me when I come off the elevator (Note- I don't give a shit). I normally wouldn't even pay this person any attention, but she wears the same clothing every day -an outdated denim jacket and some kind of unflattering exercise pants that go just past the knee- and stands out because of it. Will also get on the train and attempt to take up two seats with her stuff. The kicker? She gets off two stops later. She is on the train for maybe five minutes. If I got off there, I wouldn't even bother sitting down.
More train station shenanigans today:
This morning, I go down to the platform and find an unusually large cluster of people standing in my usual spot, including my "rival" jean jacket lady. She sees me coming and immediately moves forward. In what I can only describe as "walking like a boss," I stride right past her and go stand further down because for whatever reason, the rest of the platform is fucking empty. The train comes and I look over to see her with this dumbfounded look as a bunch of people struggle to cram into the door, while I step onto a nearly empty car.
Going home at the same station, I get on the elevator and it fills to capacity. The doors don't close because a woman is standing too close to them. I'm all the way in the back, waiting for her to realize this, except she doesn't. Everyone just stands there for a minute or two before these two Indian guys go "IT MUST BE BROKEN!" and everyone starts getting off. As they get off, people start getting on and the two guys again exclaim that it's broken. When they step off, it's just me and another woman left. I push the close button and the door closes right in front of the two Indian dudes, who have a look of astonishment on their faces. The woman next to me flashes a big grin and starts waving at all the people as the door closes.
Updating my train station adventures. I am now convinced that jean jacket lady is proof that clones and/or time travel exists:
-Future Jean Jacket Lady: Wears almost the same clothes as Jean Jacket, but is a good 30 years older. Acts exactly the same way, right down to standing at the edge of the platform making "superhero" poses waiting for the train to come. I have never seen her and Jean Jacket at the station at the same time.
-SUV Jean Jacket Lady: Looks just like Jean Jacket and may even be her. This lady lives in my apartment complex and always comes speeding around the corner, towards the exit gate, in this big white SUV. She has almost hit me when I was walking home twice and last weekend, when my wife was driving, she came flying around the corner on the wrong side of the street, gabbing on a cell phone, and almost hit our car. My wife wanted to jump out the car window and beat her down. I'm glad we're getting the hell out of this complex this weekend.
-Scowling Jean Jacket Lady: Also looks incredibly similar to Jean Jacket, but appears to have a heavily botoxed face and nasty big lips. She gets on the train at the station before mine and always stares at me with a big scowl when I get on and sit down. Today I witnessed Jean Jacket get on and sit right next to her...it was freaky.
More train adventures:
Yesterday I'm standing down at the platform waiting to go home. Typical day- The Bookworm squeezes inbetween me and the person next to me, then buries her face in a book, Rotund angrily waddles by, and then The Gabber makes her way down and once again gets far too close to ask me about the weather and stare at my phone screen. Maybe one of these days I should pull a picture of goat.sx or something. Anyway, she stops talking to me when she spots the newest addition to the rogues' gallery. Allow me to introduce
THE PSYCHIC. The Psychic appears to be a late 50s/early 60s male with an 80s 'porno mustache.' Now, normally when The Gabber goes off to talk to someone else, I'm happy she's gone and forget she's even there. This time it was different, because she starts to ask The Psychic how he stand around dressed the way he is. I glance over and notice that this guy is dressed pretty lightly for 30-something degree weather. He then proceeds to tell her that his body temperature is higher than other people -"Mine's around 102 degrees!" he exclaims- and that he feels in tune with other people and knows what they're thinking.
The two of them keep talking, but then something weird happens. They get on the train and sit next to one another...and don't say another word. The Gabber appears to be staring into space the entire train ride. My co-worker's theory on this is that she was engaged in psychic sex with The Psychic, sort of like the virtual sex in Demolition Man. Gross, but makes sense.
