I have never played Ocarina before, let alone a real Zelda game so I figured, "cool i'll jump in, this game is really good apparently." Long rant incoming.
Cut to a few hours after getting it and this is quite possibly the most overrated messiest game i've ever played.
Not only is the save system something totally opposite of what the definition of a portable game is (where are all those people who scolded the PSP over having console ports and un-portable friendly games now?), having it reboot you to Zeldas home after you shut off the game, the controls and camera are those that will lead a person to suicide.
Take for example the example in the Desu Tree or whatever it's called. At some points you have to crawl through a small hole, and on the opposite side you come out. Problem is the game uses the camera angle that games like Resident Evil 1 used for this, so all of a sudden your controls are inverted, and the camera doesn't move. This caused me to fall off a ledge several times forcing me to have to re-run the dungeon to get back up to where I was. Then the fairy that friends Zelda told me to run up a vine when I was running what would later appear to be the right way, only to get attacked my spiders and fall off once again. Why waste my fucking time like that? I was running the right way.
Mix this in with the targeting being piss poor and it's just confusing how this gets so many scores that are 5/5 in this day and age. I can see this being great back in the day when the most you had to compare it to was probably Jumping Flash, but now a days, especially coming fresh into it without the stink of nostalgia it's just a mess.
Couple this in with the fact that you're given no clue where to go so you're constantly running around a 5 polygonal landscape for your objective and frustrations add up.
I ended up putting some more hours but never saw it getting much more accessible or interesting. I was told to run into Hyrule Castle. I guess I had to meet this princess or something. Anyways what follows is one of the worst pieces of gameplay I have ever played in my life. You are expected to play Metal Gear Solid stealth sections with a ecstatic camera and no visual clue as to how the guards detect you. Follow this in with if you're caught you're booted back to a point where you have to run around the mountain, climb up a unnecessary vine and temp fate again. Eventually I found out the way to do this is you have to wait for some arbitrary night cycle to pass, which - by the way- only passes if you're in a certain section of the game world () and with no real set fidelity. Then you're expected to like creep by some guards who can magically see you if you are 1 pixel over but then all of a sudden can't if you manage to gamble with the pixels right.
Why can't Zelda just go bash their heads in? He just killed a spider monster, you're telling me guards are off limits? Why do I have to play a version of Metal Gear Solid designed by a Flash Game Programmer?
Anyways I manage to get INTO the actual castle where now i'm forced to play hide and seek with bad camera controls. And guess what - if you're caught you're booted outside the castle so you have to run in, watch a unnecessary animation, hope it's day time out, and then try again. Doesn't matter how far you're in, if you're caught you're booted back out. Somehow along the way I decided to Save the game expecting that if I fuck up I could resume back at the castle. Nope. I save, quit for a few minutes to go to the bathroom, come back and when I hit continue i'm back at Zeldas house.
I manage to do all this bullshit and meet the princess where there's another unskippable cutscene about some fantasy archetype stuff that is just hiding the gay subtext hidden behind this game. I'm introduced to the queen of Butch City Inka or something and told to go there because it was her old hometown and there's a stone there I need or something. I go there and look around for the King and can't find him. I boot up a FAQ on GameFAQs and read up seeing what i'm missing. Apparently I had to go to some Farm and then back to the village to get some items even though the game made no mention of me having to do this.
So, I get disgusted by this tripe, pack it up and am sending it out to Amazon tomorrow for a refund.
I just don't get the love this game gets. I have played and enjoyed a few hours of Twilight Princess, and played a bit of Links Awakening DX, but this was just too much. It was clunky with bad design decisions and the one opportunity they had to make it friendly they fucked up. (Seriously, why does it bring you back to his house when you Save?) It just feels like a relic of it's time down to it seems like they wanted to sell you a strategy guide for it, that has no right to be sold as a full priced product, especially a marquee one. If you enjoy the ever loving shit out of this game more power to you, but I am wondering if there are people who are like me that are new to this game and just think it's a mess.
thats the full rant i posted on SA
