"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, have you reached a verdict?"
"We have, your honor. But first, we would like to read a statement."
"Uhhh..."
"If we may."
"Allright, go ahead."
"While we think it is abhorrent that the defendant raped and murdered 17 people in three different states, and we all vomited in our mouths just a little bit when the defendant took the stand and said 'what if I didn't do it, did you ever think about that?,' and that all the evidence in the world (DNA, eye witness accounts, the defendant's own diary, the ghost of one of the deceased that was so kind to visit the courtroom on that rainy day back in March, etc.) points to the defendant's guilt, we think the defendant is truly sorry for what he did. And that hug he tried to give the mother of the fourth victim before she maced him and he was tasered by the bailiffs was nothing if not heartwrenching. Therefore, we the jury feel the defendant has learned his lesson and will therefore be of no more harm to society. We the jury find the defendant not guilty on all counts."