The Hobbit: An Expected Cash-In

[Great Rumbler]

The movie lacks majesty. Grand in parts, the movie is too often grandiose or grandiloquent; and the running time is indefensible.

Tolkien's brisk story of intrepid little hobbit Bilbo Baggins is drawn out and diluted by dispensable trimmings better left for DVD extras.

There are elements in this new film that are as spectacular as much of the Rings trilogy was, but there is much that is flat-footed and tedious as well, especially in the early going.

Fulfilling just a fraction of J.R.R. Tolkien's "There and Back Again" subtitle, The Hobbit alternately rewards and abuses auds' appetite for all things Middle-earth.

An Unexpected Journey may as well be The Phantom Menace and God help us all if the next two movies aren't better than this one.

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/the_hobbit_an_unexpected_journey/

[Himu]

Fuck Peter Jackson for making this more than one movie. You stupid cunt.

[recursivelyenumerable]

Wait, it's a trilogy now?

[Great Rumbler]

Wait, it's a trilogy now?

Two based on the book, one that's a bridge between The Hobbit and LOTR.

The first movie is just a few minutes shy of 3 hours.

[Phoenix Dark]

You could literally tell the entire Hobbit story in 3 hours. How the fuck do you split that novel into two 3 hour films, then add a "bridge" film between it and LOTR?

sigh

[Steve Contra]

3 fucking hours?  For 3 films?

[Himu]

You could literally tell the entire Hobbit story in 3 hours. How the fuck do you split that novel into two 3 hour films, then add a "bridge" film between it and LOTR?

sigh

I read the hobbit in literally two days when i was in 7th grade.

so the only way to do this is be a rich jackass.

[nudemacusers]

2 movies made sense (though not at 3 hours a piece), 3 is just indulgent.

[Mupepe]

IDGAF.  I just finished rereading the hobbit again and I'm excited as fuck.  Will see in HFR 3D, bitches.

[Himu]

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/the_hobbit_an_unexpected_journey//forum/?threadid=328137347

[recursivelyenumerable]

I guess the connection between The Hobbit and LOTR was a retcon to begin with, so maybe this is in the spirit of Tolkien after all. but come on guys, it's just a fun children's adventure story, why you gotta mess with it (other than "we wanna make LOTR2 and this is the closest source material short of going full special fellow on the mythology so it'll have to do", of course)

[ToxicAdam]

It's gross, I won't watch it.

But, strangely, my wife (she of the Twillight-wing of nerddom) is excited to watch it and wants to re-watch all 9 hours of the LOTR in prep.

[Mupepe]

It's gross, I won't watch it.

But, strangely, my wife (she of the Twillight-wing of nerddom) is excited to watch it and wants to re-watch all 9 hours of the LOTR in prep.

That's what I'll be doing this weekend.

[Mr. Gundam]

Wait, three movies? I was annoyed when they split the book into two films, but three?!? WTF.

[Mupepe]

By the way, the douche that reviewed it from Time also said that there should have been less dwarves.    So I think a lot of reviews are just idiots being idiots.  I honestly don't see Peter Jackson offending my Tolkien senses so much that I don't like the films. 

[Phoenix Dark]

To be fair, when I heard The Hobbit was being adapted my first thought was that the amount of dwarves would be too much for audiences. Most of them don't have much of an impact on the novel iirc, and I figured the movie would basically split them into roles (the badass, the comic relief, etc).

[Steve Contra]

Nah, reviewers creamed themselves over the LOTR, this just sounds awful.

[Mr. Gundam]

I lost interest in the LOTR films over the course of them being released. I thought Fellowship was great, but the other two didn't do a whole lot for me. If I watch Hobbit, it will be on cable or whatever pay channel it goes to.

[Mupepe]

To be fair, when I heard The Hobbit was being adapted my first thought was that the amount of dwarves would be too much for audiences. Most of them don't have much of an impact on the novel iirc, and I figured the movie would basically split them into roles (the badass, the comic relief, etc).

I don't really care what's good for general audiences.  I want my Tolkien fantasy fancy tickled and I trust Peter Jackson to do it.  *shrug*

[Great Rumbler]

I honestly don't see Peter Jackson offending my Tolkien senses so much that I don't like the films. 

Same here. I'm not gonna be there day 1, because fighting a horde of people to see a three hour movie doesn't sound like much fun. But I'll definitely go watch it sometime in the latter half of this month.

[Brehvolution]

Will wait for 3D Bluray.

[Mupepe]

I honestly don't see Peter Jackson offending my Tolkien senses so much that I don't like the films. 

Same here. I'm not gonna be there day 1, because fighting a horde of people to see a three hour movie doesn't sound like much fun. But I'll definitely go watch it sometime in the latter half of this month.

Heck yes.  Although I'll be there Day 2 because I'm a masochist like that. 

spoiler (click to show/hide)

I genuinely love seeing movies with big audiences

[close]

[Great Rumbler]

I don't necessarily mind a big audience, but this is going to be one of those movies where you need to get to the theater more than an hour in advance. Unless you LIKE sitting all the way at the front and in one of the corners.

[Mupepe]

I don't necessarily mind a big audience, but this is going to be one of those movies where you need to get to the theater more than an hour in advance. Unless you LIKE sitting all the way at the front and in one of the corners.

I like reserved seating.   

[G The Resurrected]

I like reserved seating.   

God I wish our theaters had reserved seating.

So how is everyone gonna see the Hobbit? IMAX 3d HFR? IMAX 3d? HFR? Regular? Dolby Atmos?

[Great Rumbler]

I don't necessarily mind a big audience, but this is going to be one of those movies where you need to get to the theater more than an hour in advance. Unless you LIKE sitting all the way at the front and in one of the corners.

I like reserved seating.   

WELL WHOOPITY-DOO

[Mupepe]

I like reserved seating.   

God I wish our theaters had reserved seating.

So how is everyone gonna see the Hobbit? IMAX 3d HFR? IMAX 3d? HFR? Regular? Dolby Atmos?

I was thinking about heading to San Antonio for IMAX 3D HFR but considering no real IMAX can do it I didn't think it would be worth it.  I'm just doing 3D HFR.  No Dolby Atmos here in Houston

I don't necessarily mind a big audience, but this is going to be one of those movies where you need to get to the theater more than an hour in advance. Unless you LIKE sitting all the way at the front and in one of the corners.

I like reserved seating.   

WELL WHOOPITY-DOO

Move to Houston

[Joe Molotov]

Haters gonna hate.

[Steve Contra]

I like reserved seating.   

God I wish our theaters had reserved seating.

So how is everyone gonna see the Hobbit? IMAX 3d HFR? IMAX 3d? HFR? Regular? Dolby Atmos?

Downloaded

[bork]

Wait, it's a trilogy now?

Two based on the book, one that's a bridge between The Hobbit and LOTR.

The first movie is just a few minutes shy of 3 hours.

What?  So it's going to have an original story?  WTF WHY?

[bork]

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/the_hobbit_an_unexpected_journey//forum/?threadid=328137347

scifi mark

My predicition will be that it will end up 70-80 with 80 being optimistic. The acting looks solid which should keep it up there. I dont see it dropping to 50-60

Dec 5 - 06:35 AM
Geordie Newlands

Geordie Newlands

i bet my left nut this shitty movie goes down like a 1 dollar hooker and the final score will be 50 percent so go cry little bitch

Dec 5 - 03:30 PM
David Tanny

David Tanny

You have experience with $1 hookers, huh?

Dec 5 - 03:30 PM
Zachary Wisz

Zachary Wisz

You know what man, get off my thread because you've trolled on it enough already. Find a different movie to bash like the Star Wars Prequels.

Dec 5 - 05:14 PM
Geordie Newlands

Geordie Newlands

i like the star wars prequels dumbass i bet they will shit all over this lord of the rings prequels. peter jackson is a poor mans george lucas. king kong sucked aswell only good movie he made was the frighteners.

Dec 5 - 08:05 PM
Zachary Wisz

Zachary Wisz

http://redlettermedia.com/plinkett/star-wars/star-wars-episode-1-the-phantom-menace/

Dec 5 - 09:15 PM
Geordie Newlands

Geordie Newlands

redlettermedia can fuck itself all 6 star wars movies are awesome in there own way they are not the prequels are not as shit as indiana jones 4.

 

[Great Rumbler]

Wait, it's a trilogy now?

Two based on the book, one that's a bridge between The Hobbit and LOTR.

The first movie is just a few minutes shy of 3 hours.

What?  So it's going to have an original story?  WTF WHY?

Because money.

According to Jackson, the third film would make extensive use of the appendices that Tolkien wrote to expand the story of Middle-Earth (published in the back of The Return of the King).

[Steve Contra]

This shit needs to stop.  Nerds need to stop being such fucking corporate tools.  With this an that god awful fucking Dark Knight Star Trek trailer it's a bad day for nerd franchises.

[bork]

With this an that god awful fucking Dark Knight Star Trek trailer it's a bad day for nerd franchises.

I don't know what you're talking about and I am now afraid.     So the new Star Trek looks to be shitty too, then?

[Great Rumbler]

With this an that god awful fucking Dark Knight Star Trek trailer it's a bad day for nerd franchises.

I don't know what you're talking about and I am now afraid.     So the new Star Trek looks to be shitty too, then?

It had a menacing villain narrating the trailer and lots of things getting destroyed and people running fear.

[bork]

I saw that teaser.

And that Superman poster.

Nerd movies.   :'( :'( :'(

[AdmiralViscen]

It's gross, I won't watch it.

But, strangely, my wife (she of the Twillight-wing of nerddom) is excited to watch it and wants to re-watch all 9 hours of the LOTR in prep.

That's what I'll be doing this weekend.

Regal Deer Park marathon

[bork]

My wife, who enjoyed the LoTR movies and read the books (I didn't  ), has zero interest in seeing this in the theater after watching the preview.

I honestly don't see Peter Jackson offending my Tolkien senses so much that I don't like the films. 

Same here. I'm not gonna be there day 1, because fighting a horde of people to see a three hour movie doesn't sound like much fun. But I'll definitely go watch it sometime in the latter half of this month.

Yup, fuck that shit.  Going to see Skyfall a few weeks ago was an absolute nightmare...I thought waiting a week after release would be fine and that the massive lines were for Twilight, but...nope. 

[FStop7]

Stretching it into a trilogy has lowered my expectations and the early criticisms are pretty much what I expected, except for the bit comparing it to The Phantom Menace.  I really hope it's not that bad.

[Robo]

The first three movies were shit anyway.

[Barry Egan]

With this an that god awful fucking Dark Knight Star Trek trailer it's a bad day for nerd franchises.

I don't know what you're talking about and I am now afraid.     So the new Star Trek looks to be shitty too, then?

It had a menacing villain narrating the trailer and lots of things getting destroyed and people running fear.

And let's not forget the Inception beats.

BBBBBBRRRRRRAAAWWWWWWWWMMMMMMMMMMMM

[Steve Contra]

With this an that god awful fucking Dark Knight Star Trek trailer it's a bad day for nerd franchises.

I don't know what you're talking about and I am now afraid.     So the new Star Trek looks to be shitty too, then?

It had a menacing villain narrating the trailer and lots of things getting destroyed and people running fear.

And let's not forget the Inception beats.

BBBBBBRRRRRRAAAWWWWWWWWMMMMMMMMMMMM

Yeah, every film needs those two for maximum genericness now.  YOU'LL SEE THIS ANYWAY BECAUSE YOU'RE DUMB BBBBBBRRRRRRAAAWWWWWWWWMMMMMMMMMMMM

[Cormacaroni]

Disappointing but exactly what everyone feared, really. Mostly disappointing 'cause i already paid for my tickets :'(

Still pretty much have to see it though - could never explain it to my 9 yr old self, who thought The Hobbit was the greatest thing ever.

[Phoenix Dark]

Disappointing but exactly what everyone feared, really. Mostly disappointing 'cause i already paid for my tickets :'(

Still pretty much have to see it though - could never explain it to my 9 yr old self, who thought The Hobbit was the greatest thing ever.

Are you going with your daughter? It'll be interesting to get kid's impressions on it lol, I have a feeling they'll love the comic relief of 10 Jar Jar Binks dwarfs, plus two badass dwarfs.

[hampster]

Fuck. If people get angry at the Hobbit movies there won't be any will in Hollywood to make my dream Book of Three / Prydain Chronicles movies :'(

[etiolate]

PD you sure got a boner for dwarfs

[Cormacaroni]

was thinking about it until i heard the runtime. You want a kid's movie to be closer to 90 mins than 3 fucking hours.

She'll be old enough for it by the time it hits the home, and maybe the sequels we'll be able to see in the theatre together. If they don't look like sucking that is

[Himu]

the only hobbit film is the 70's one.

Chip the glasses and crack the plates! Blunt the knives and bend the forks! That's what Bilbo Baggins hates!

[Phoenix Dark]

I saw all the LOTR films at least three times at the theater (four for ROTK) and they were always full of a good amount of kids. Surprisingly they seemed to be awake for most of the movie, and didn't complain. Whereas when I saw POTC3 kids were complaining for the first 30 minutes ("where's Captain Jack? Is Captain Jack gonna be here soon?  :'( "), and after the movie went off many were asleep lol

[Cormacaroni]

We've taken her to the theater before but it's a bit of a crap-shoot. Even if it's something she actually likes like Tangled or Brave you can be sure there will be a half-dozen scary promos for stuff like Prometheus which have her screaming for the exit. We figured Spider-man would be a fun cartoony ride but no, DARK AND SERIOS MATCHOOR PROBLEMS (i liked it tho).

And we watched an ep of Adventure Time last night that had both of us in tears You never know what you'll get with that show

[Robo]

With this an that god awful fucking Dark Knight Star Trek trailer it's a bad day for nerd franchises.

I don't know what you're talking about and I am now afraid.     So the new Star Trek looks to be shitty too, then?

It had a menacing villain narrating the trailer and lots of things getting destroyed and people running fear.

And let's not forget the Inception beats.

BBBBBBRRRRRRAAAWWWWWWWWMMMMMMMMMMMM

I love that sound, honestly.  Daft Punk abused it pretty heavily in their Tron score to no complaints.  And the end of this song:

[The Sceneman]

you should try living in Wellington, the man is fucking deified here. The Prime Minister spoke at the Premier etc. What a fucking joke

[recursivelyenumerable]

Dwarfs are very upsetting

[Phoenix Dark]

you should try living in Wellington, the man is fucking deified here. The Prime Minister spoke at the Premier etc. What a fucking joke

makes sense. Jackson probably is responsible for millions in tourist revenue, plus the tax revenue from filming there

[Cormacaroni]

spoiler (click to show/hide)

[close]

[Trurl]

Heck yes.  Although I'll be there Day 2 because I'm a masochist like that. 

spoiler (click to show/hide)

I genuinely love seeing movies with big audiences

[close]

A big and attentive audience can transform a movie.

[Diunx]

Been listening to a lor of the rings audiobooks and I must say...I have a new appreciation for the films, yikes!

[Eric P]

Fuck. If people get angry at the Hobbit movies there won't be any will in Hollywood to make my dream Book of Three / Prydain Chronicles movies :'(

I'd love to see someone else take a crack at Lloyd Alexander

[Diunx]

Loved the movie, I know I'm in the minority but I found with way better than any of the LOTR films, but I deffinetly agree with a lot of it's criticism.

My theater loved it! there was one chick in the row in front of me that was really into the movie, gasping and putting her hands on her head during some of the action scenes and clapping when the dwarf got out of harms way, I kind of envy how much she enjoyed it

[Human Snorenado]

the only hobbit film is the 70's one.

Chip the glasses and crack the plates! Blunt the knives and bend the forks! That's what Bilbo Baggins hates!

That song is in this version

If you liked the LotR trilogy, you'll like this.  It has some lighter hearted moments but not as much as the book, and there's some added stuff (Radagast, etc) that wasn't in the book.  Seems like people are shitting on it because they want something to shit on or don't like the genre.

Full disclosure:  I'm a fantasy nerd, so this tickles my nerd prostate in all the right places.  YMMV.