The only texts I get from other women are asking when I can fix their laptops. 
I checked my wife's shit for about 4 minutes before I went into the store.....nevermind
Wife "girl he making me mad today"
Cousin "he always be playing to hard"
Wife "No shit I'm gonna snap if he don't get off his ass and stop watching football"
Cousin "Yeah he lazy sometimes"

----------------------------
Wife "I dont know what to make for thanksgiving"
Her mom "Turkey and gravy"
Wife "How do I make two turkeys at once?"
Her mom "Get your man to buy you a bigger stove"
Wife "Yeah hes cheap"
