Rally up cadets, we have some good news and we have some bad news.
The good news. You will become famous and get your place in the history books along with the men that stormed the beaches of Normandy and fought in the jungles of Vietnam.
We expect you to do your patriotic duty for your country, President and our freedom and liberties.
The bad news. You have to face the most dangerous enemy this country has faced since the second world war.
You have to get in the trenches, soak in the bullshit, clap and cheer like your life depends on it and then head back home.
This is the only way that we can make the President happy and defeat the invisible enemy. With courage and bravery.
I expect every last one of you will live up to this task.
The country is proud of you men! Lord knows we need a happy President.
Semper Fi!
