RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011

[Rahxephon91]

I never understood what "out of my league" meant. Like, based on what fucking criterias?

Looks. Career.  Social type. Stuff like that I guess.

[chronovore]

I never understood what "out of my league" meant. Like, based on what fucking criterias?

 In many of our cases: social, appearance, body maintenance, emotional breadth and depth, and posture.

[Mupepe]

Most women I have been with have been out of my league in many ways, but at least I usually have a bigger dick than them.

[CatsCatsCats]

My wife often says I'm out of her league and don't say anything because I don't want to spoil her illusion

[etiolate]

My wife often says I'm out of her league and don't say anything because I don't want to spoil her illusion

Is she out of your league?

Not to pry, but maybe you're just a fool to believe you have anything she needs.

In fact, from what I hear, she's like the wind.

[recursivelyenumerable]

tbh if you've been dating her for a while, then by definition you're in her league, unless it's a really long-running extended interleague exhibition series or something.

[tiesto]

I've always gotten the "you can do better" from family and friends whenever I actually find someone willing to date me.

[king of the internet]

Got myself involved in some sketchy shit again. 

So I happen to be neighbors with a friend's ex-fiance. I run into her a few nights ago on the way home from the bar, and things got weird. We were both pretty drunk and ended up back at her place. We managed to stop just short of actual sex iirc but lines were def crossed. Am I a dirtbag? Maybe, but this shit happens when you're drunk and haven't experienced physical intimacy in record amounts of time. I'm feeling a lot of guilt but can't really blame myself for being unable to resist her allure. She invited me to come over the following night but thankfully I was stuck at work.

The twisted irony of the whole situation is that this her ex-fiance is still trying to keep tabs on her and has asked me multiple times to keep an eye out for any dudes hanging around her place.   

Oh well, if there's a hell I was already on my way there anyways. 

[CatsCatsCats]

My wife often says I'm out of her league and don't say anything because I don't want to spoil her illusion

Is she out of your league?

Not to pry, but maybe you're just a fool to believe you have anything she needs.

In fact, from what I hear, she's like the wind.

da fuq?

[seagrams hotsauce]

all this 'out of your league' talk 

[etiolate]

My wife often says I'm out of her league and don't say anything because I don't want to spoil her illusion

Is she out of your league?

Not to pry, but maybe you're just a fool to believe you have anything she needs.

In fact, from what I hear, she's like the wind.

da fuq?

Dunno if I should feel old or offended that nobody got that.

[recursivelyenumerable]

all this 'out of your league' talk 

let the record show that I myself never initiated use of the phrase!

[Mupepe]

Got myself involved in some sketchy shit again. 

So I happen to be neighbors with a friend's ex-fiance. I run into her a few nights ago on the way home from the bar, and things got weird. We were both pretty drunk and ended up back at her place. We managed to stop just short of actual sex iirc but lines were def crossed. Am I a dirtbag? Maybe, but this shit happens when you're drunk and haven't experienced physical intimacy in record amounts of time. I'm feeling a lot of guilt but can't really blame myself for being unable to resist her allure. She invited me to come over the following night but thankfully I was stuck at work.

The twisted irony of the whole situation is that this her ex-fiance is still trying to keep tabs on her and has asked me multiple times to keep an eye out for any dudes hanging around her place.   

Oh well, if there's a hell I was already on my way there anyways. 

This sounds hot.  You should go back over there.  And if your buddy finds out tell him you were banging her to make sure she didn't have time to bang the real bad hombres.

[king of the internet]

I'm gonna seal the deal. I've already crossed the line so why not

[CatsCatsCats]

Welcome to the bore scumbag club! Only other members are Drinky and myself, I apologize in advance for all his scooter talk.

Cmon, you're not gonna count the dude who's gone on international whoring trips? That doesn't seem fair

[zomgee]

My wife often says I'm out of her league and don't say anything because I don't want to spoil her illusion

Is she out of your league?

Not to pry, but maybe you're just a fool to believe you have anything she needs.

In fact, from what I hear, she's like the wind.

I hear he came from some where back in her long ago.

[Tasty]

I'm also in the scumbag club, but for reasons I'm not comfortable disclosing in this dumpster forum.

[Valkyrie]

I'm also in the scumbag club, but for reasons I'm not comfortable disclosing in this dumpster forum.

Oh come on, this is like wanting us to beg for you to tell us why!

[brawndolicious]

I'm also in the scumbag club, but for reasons I'm not comfortable disclosing in this dumpster forum.

No way....

...look through your drunk posts

[Tasty]

🤔

[chronovore]

[Atramental]

The girl I lost my v-card to finally has a boyfriend. So I don't have to worry about smoothing things over/getting back together. I'm just going to keep to myself and be a hermit until the fall. 

[Rahxephon91]

Welcome to the club.

If anything at this point, I've resolved that I'll be forever alone for well forever.

I'm afraid of a serious relationship because I feel shame for almost being 30 and having no experince.

I feel mad about being almost 30 and missing out on everything.

I'm afraid and I guess mad because I feel whatever relationship I do find I'll be like "whatever gotta lock this down" and it will be the only one I have.

I'm scared of simply going through the process again because I don't want to be made a psychopath.

And I simply doubt I'm going to find anyone and I guess I have to stop being delusional on what I can get and match my expectations with reality.

So at this point I've just given up.

I don't know about being a hermit though. Is till like going out with my friends, but as the slowly start getting into serious relationships I guess I'll have to settle for going to the movies and spending more time with my mother,

[Olivia Wilde Homo]

Girlfriend ate my ass last night

[toku]

[TakingBackSunday]

Girlfriend ate my ass last night

best feeling

[thisismyusername]

PD: Shit may be going down. You know what I'm talking about.

Wrath: Shit is going down. I'll fill you in later next week.

Hope all you mother/father-fuckers are doing good in the age of Ami being a pedo and Dennis still being banned. I'm on a rollercoaster ride of emotions.

[seagrams hotsauce]

got laid last night, but i could have done a lot better. If yelp for sex existed I would deserve to lose half a star

completely redeemed myself for this

[seagrams hotsauce]

ps miss u timu ya fuckin weirdo

[tiesto]

I've been trying to connect with this one girl I've been talking to on Match for about 2 months now, she works 2 jobs and has barely an ounce of free time, but she asked me to go with her to see an amateur Shakespeare play at the local community college this afternoon. It's about a 10 min drive for me and I haven't been out on a date in over a month, so I figured 'what the hell'? She's pretty cute, a thin petite brunette, but seems to be pretty quiet.

[Phoenix Dark]

Girlfriend ate my ass last night

When I created the eating ass movement I made it very clear that men would not partake on the receiving end. We live in a society where women get paid less than us, are abused by us, and are taken for granted by us. The least we can do is eat their ass. I'm disappointed to see the movement I created be warped into something that does not respect women.

[Valkyrie]

We live in a society where women get paid less than us, are abused by us, and are taken for granted by us. The least we can do is eat their ass.

Newsfeed pls

[Raist]

Girlfriend ate my ass last night

When I created the eating ass movement I made it very clear that men would not partake on the receiving end. We live in a society where women get paid less than us, are abused by us, and are taken for granted by us. The least we can do is eat their ass. I'm disappointed to see the movement I created be warped into something that does not respect women.

See Dennis, this is probably how you can have a shot at getting your GAF account back.

[I'm a Puppy!]

Girlfriend ate my ass last night

When I created the eating ass movement I made it very clear that men would not partake on the receiving end. We live in a society where women get paid less than us, are abused by us, and are taken for granted by us. The least we can do is eat their ass. I'm disappointed to see the movement I created be warped into something that does not respect women.

I find you putting women on a pedestal problematic, are they or are they not equal? Stop your white knighting PD.

[king of the internet]

I'm gonna seal the deal. I've already crossed the line so why not

Successfully laid pipe. We watched a fireworks show together, it was actually a little romantic tbh. I hesitated to capitalize on the sexual tension during that part of the night but after a couple drinks we dove right in.

  I'm gonna get clapped for this shit one of these days but I'm not scared.

[Tasty]

PD: Shit may be going down. You know what I'm talking about.

Wrath: Shit is going down. I'll fill you in later next week.

Hope all you mother/father-fuckers are doing good in the age of Ami being a pedo and Dennis still being banned. I'm on a rollercoaster ride of emotions.

🤔

[tiesto]

Wasn't really into the girl I went to the play with, the profile pics were 5-10 years old and she smelled a bit of smoke. Not at all my type, and then she ran into a friend of hers and introduced me as "my friend". But hey, at least the play was pretty well-done and I got out of my house for a bit.

[I'm a Puppy!]

Don't know if I'd put too much stock in introducing you as "my friend". Just what was she supposed to into you as? It was the safest choice.

[brawndolicious]

She'd quit smoking when you got her pregnant ya dork. Think outside (and inside) the box. I mean she was probably just nervous about her first impression.

The "friend" thing is sketch tho. She should have at least said "big-dicked superstar DJ friend" but she made a conscious decision not to do that.

Totes unforgivable.

[thisismyusername]

PD: Shit may be going down. You know what I'm talking about.

:drudge :drudge :drudge :drudge :drudge :drudge :drudge :drudge :drudge :drudge :drudge :drudge :drudge :drudge :drudge :drudge :drudge :drudge :drudge



Ellen Page presents, in association with VICE: It's fucking happening, PD. Chubby Hubby is coming through for your goddamn fetish for you, I hope you're happy you filthy bastard. Let the rest of the board and Wrath wonder what is going on. But I hope you're happy. Details to follow in PM's.

Gaycation mission objective: Complete.

Objective update: Let your love SURVIVE.

[thisismyusername]

So you got fucked by a BBC?

Oh if only.

As it is, it's confirmed a bunch of things for me. And PD will know what I'm talking about in PM's.

This has hit next-level relationship for me and right now my depression is beat me up because I've found some sort of happiness but my brain doesn't want me to take it.

[Valkyrie]

As it is, it's confirmed a bunch of things for me. And PD will know what I'm talking about in PM's.

What's the point of this then. Just stick to PM if you don't want people to know or ask..?

Don't mean to come off as rude if I am, I just don't get it.
(I'm just bitter you don't wanna tell us. )

[Huff]

agreed. post deets or fuck off

[Olivia Wilde Homo]

That's right, no vaguebooking

[Atramental]

Your chubby hubby wants to settle down and raise goats in the Colorado Rockies? 

[Phoenix Dark]

KINK KEEPER PD

tell me ur secrets in PMs brehs (and brehettes)

[brawndolicious]

So it's a dick size thing? 

[Atramental]

I just going to assume that TIMU got talked into attending a big gay orgy or something. 

[recursivelyenumerable]

spent weekend chillin on the beach w bae, this is niiiice

plans for next weekend: do the same thing again on saturday, then bingewatch twin peaks together on sunday

our new beach bum life

[Huff]

So I've had the best run of luck with tinder/etc the past two weeks, although I feel a little scummy going on dates knowing only have like 2 weeks left in town

[Atramental]

Decided to throw myself back into the fray so I won't be rusty when fall comes around. 

spoiler (click to show/hide)

[close]

If anyone sees any egregious grammar or spelling errors please let me know. 

Keep in mind I only have 500 characters to work with.

edit: Fuck. Already see one. Put in an extra "of".

[I'm a Puppy!]

I don't see how that profile could attract anyone but the highest quality of prospects.

[Valkyrie]

One long paragraph split into only two sentences?

Also why don't you write something interesting instead, because that just looks weird, at least to me. Honestly I'd rather read a normal profile with info than someone trying to be funny (?).

[Atramental]

I made one bio where I was posing as a bimbo South Cali girl.

That one was surprisingly popular.

edit: Also, whenever I do normal bios that shit gets ignored.

I would go literally weeks without matches.

[Valkyrie]

Do your local girls really like that stuff? I guess it's all about trying to be funny and stand out?

Edit: Maybe I'm just lame and old fashioned.

[Atramental]

Do your local girls really like that stuff? I guess it's all about trying to be funny and stand out?

When you're bald, have a relatively average "dad bod" physique, and don't make a lot of money (despite working like a dog) you have to do weird "funny" shit to break the monotony up and stand out from the crowd.

And I've seen what the guy's profiles are like in my area. I'm more-often-than-not competing against much more physically attractive guys who have a lot more life experience than I do (judging from their pictures & bios).

There's also a bunch of average to below average looking nerdy guys that look like they're from NeoGAF.

And I'm in this weird middle/grey area. I'm an "inbetweener" essentially. 

edit: Just sent this to my brother (who is a writer) ...he says I should do something different. 

[Atramental]

Annnnd *BOOM* got a match 15 minutes later after updating my bio with that insanity I wrote down.





edit: Mind you, I had a "normal" profile and everything. And I got nothing all of last week and this week. 

edit2: Another thing that I've learned from months on Tindering: being entertaining/interesting is just as important if-not-more-so than being physically attractive. If you're boring/not funny you might as well not have a dick.

[seagrams hotsauce]

spent weekend chillin on the beach w bae, this is niiiice

plans for next weekend: do the same thing again on saturday, then bingewatch twin peaks together on sunday

our new beach bum life

[Raist]

Annnnd *BOOM* got a match 15 minutes later after updating my bio with that insanity I wrote down.

(Image removed from quote.)



edit: Mind you, I had a "normal" profile and everything. And I got nothing all of last week and this week. 

edit2: Another thing that I've learned from months on Tindering: being entertaining/interesting is just as important if-not-more-so than being physically attractive. If you're boring/not funny you might as well not have a dick.

Is that Robert Smith's daughter?

[Valkyrie]

Annnnd *BOOM* got a match 15 minutes later after updating my bio with that insanity I wrote down.

(Image removed from quote.)



edit: Mind you, I had a "normal" profile and everything. And I got nothing all of last week and this week. 

edit2: Another thing that I've learned from months on Tindering: being entertaining/interesting is just as important if-not-more-so than being physically attractive. If you're boring/not funny you might as well not have a dick.

When my friend showed me her profile and we were having fun with it, I noticed most people had boring bios. But once they matched, the dudes would send her creepy texts and try sexting from the first interaction. Perhaps it's kind of a cultural thing on Tinder too. How do you personally act when you match?