RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011

[Mupepe]

Talk to your gf about opening up your relationship to other people.

[SantaC]

Talk to your gf about opening up your relationship to other people.

Good call. Probably get slap in my face though.

[Mupepe]

Talk to your gf about opening up your relationship to other people.

Good call. Probably get slap in my face though.

Start with just some dirty talk in bed. Srs

[SantaC]

gimme your girl's number and I'll show her things she's only dreamed about 

That might do it. Then i can move on to greener grass.

[Bebpo]

Talk to your gf about improving your sex life?

I dunno, the attraction after 10 years is kinda dead. I am weighing my options.

The one flirting is Japanese-swedish, me like

well not really flirting, more like come and fuck me and do whatever you want. Funny how other girls start finding me attractive when I lost 20kg.

Idk, man. Your post is basically “After a 10 year relationship I’ve found someone hotter, tell me why I shouldn’t fuck her?” And to me that sorta says that your relationship has problems in the first place if you’re willing to just dump it once someone hotter comes along. If it’s over, it’s over. But I wouldn’t let “some hot gal wants to sleep with me” be the decision maker. For all you know after you sleep with this new gal she’ll leave and then you’ve just tossed your relationship and are alone. Which may be what you want right now, but it’s pretty big decision if you’ve been together 10 years so just saying take time to think about it and don’t do anything rash imo.

[CatsCatsCats]

Communicate, cheat, leave, or wallow in inaction, these are your options

[I'm a Puppy!]

I am currently in a relationship that is stable but incredibly boring sex-vise. It's just been too many years. Another girl is flirting with me, what should I do?

There are lulls in every relationship. If it's worth keeping communicate with her. If it's just convenient, move on.

[Bebpo]

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[SantaC]

I am currently in a relationship that is stable but incredibly boring sex-vise. It's just been too many years. Another girl is flirting with me, what should I do?

There are lulls in every relationship. If it's worth keeping communicate with her. If it's just convenient, move on.

Hmmm i think it might be time to try some japanese ass. Never been with an asian girl.

[SantaC]

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Yes you write too much. The girl will lose interest if you write walls of text. Also replying once a day is no good. She sits there writing with tons of guys probably. Be confident and funny.

Tell them you found all 900 korok seeds in zelda. That will surely get you irl dates, haha

[MMaRsu]

Ok so... I could use a bit of help.

Regarding this one girl who I was digging but she said it wasn't mutual, now she's fucking seeking my attention again. WTF is up with this woman???

She sent me a txt saying "It's a shame we can't hang out anymore as friends after I told you it wasn't mutual. I really think you are a cool and relaxing guy and from my point of view a good friendship was def in the cards"

I'm like wtf.. ok so I replied

"Yeah it is a shame, but a friendship is difficult thing when one person likes the person on another lvl and it's not mutual. Because the more I talk with you, the more I wanna hang out and do stuff with you. I don't really feel like dealing with all that to be honest".

so I got a txt back saying "Okay, fine"

So today at work she's giving me the stink eye.. so I send her a msg saying yo we should at least be able to just say hi to eachother at work and stuff like that, just as colleague's.

Then she asks me "Are we not doing that now?" I asked her what do you think? Then she said

:"Well you didn't wanna talk to me is what you said. I'm just respecting what you said. "

I told her I never said that I didn't want to talk to her.

"Oh right, but the more you talk to me the trickier it is for you right?" "I don't really care one way or another, I was just saying that it's really a shame we can't just hang out as friends because like I said earlier I think you are a nice guy soo... "

Seriously, I have not responded to this yet. I mean so she really wants to be friends, but gives me the stink eye when I told her listen that shit aint easy when I like you on a different lvl.

On another note I already have a third date set up with someone else I'm seeing so.. maybe I could just try to be friends with this woman too. But she is a DRAMA FUCKING QUEEN.

[SantaC]

Ok so... I could use a bit of help.

Regarding this one girl who I was digging but she said it wasn't mutual, now she's fucking seeking my attention again. WTF is up with this woman???

She sent me a txt saying "It's a shame we can't hang out anymore as friends after I told you it wasn't mutual. I really think you are a cool and relaxing guy and from my point of view a good friendship was def in the cards"

I'm like wtf.. ok so I replied

"Yeah it is a shame, but a friendship is difficult thing when one person likes the person on another lvl and it's not mutual. Because the more I talk with you, the more I wanna hang out and do stuff with you. I don't really feel like dealing with all that to be honest".

so I got a txt back saying "Okay, fine"

So today at work she's giving me the stink eye.. so I send her a msg saying yo we should at least be able to just say hi to eachother at work and stuff like that, just as colleague's.

Then she asks me "Are we not doing that now?" I asked her what do you think? Then she said

:"Well you didn't wanna talk to me is what you said. I'm just respecting what you said. "

I told her I never said that I didn't want to talk to her.

"Oh right, but the more you talk to me the trickier it is for you right?" "I don't really care one way or another, I was just saying that it's really a shame we can't just hang out as friends because like I said earlier I think you are a nice guy soo... "

Seriously, I have not responded to this yet. I mean so she really wants to be friends, but gives me the stink eye when I told her listen that shit aint easy when I like you on a different lvl.

On another note I already have a third date set up with someone else I'm seeing so.. maybe I could just try to be friends with this woman too. But she is a DRAMA FUCKING QUEEN.

Sounds like pass to me

[I'm a Puppy!]

Ok so... I could use a bit of help.

Regarding this one girl who I was digging but she said it wasn't mutual, now she's fucking seeking my attention again. WTF is up with this woman???

She sent me a txt saying "It's a shame we can't hang out anymore as friends after I told you it wasn't mutual. I really think you are a cool and relaxing guy and from my point of view a good friendship was def in the cards"

I'm like wtf.. ok so I replied

"Yeah it is a shame, but a friendship is difficult thing when one person likes the person on another lvl and it's not mutual. Because the more I talk with you, the more I wanna hang out and do stuff with you. I don't really feel like dealing with all that to be honest".

so I got a txt back saying "Okay, fine"

So today at work she's giving me the stink eye.. so I send her a msg saying yo we should at least be able to just say hi to eachother at work and stuff like that, just as colleague's.

Then she asks me "Are we not doing that now?" I asked her what do you think? Then she said

:"Well you didn't wanna talk to me is what you said. I'm just respecting what you said. "

I told her I never said that I didn't want to talk to her.

"Oh right, but the more you talk to me the trickier it is for you right?" "I don't really care one way or another, I was just saying that it's really a shame we can't just hang out as friends because like I said earlier I think you are a nice guy soo... "

Seriously, I have not responded to this yet. I mean so she really wants to be friends, but gives me the stink eye when I told her listen that shit aint easy when I like you on a different lvl.

On another note I already have a third date set up with someone else I'm seeing so.. maybe I could just try to be friends with this woman too. But she is a DRAMA FUCKING QUEEN.

#1) don't dip the pen in company ink. PD will learn this soon enough
#2) It sounds like you set yourself to be friendzoned
#3) It sounds like she just wants to be wanted.

Do both you a favor and take a hard pass.

[MMaRsu]

On another note I already have a third date set up with someone else I'm seeing so.. maybe I could just try to be friends with this woman too. But she is a DRAMA FUCKING QUEEN.

#1) don't dip the pen in company ink. PD will learn this soon enough
#2) It sounds like you set yourself to be friendzoned
#3) It sounds like she just wants to be wanted.

Do both you a favor and take a hard pass.

1. Very much agreed but damn I really liked this woman ( at first ).
2. Well in the end yea..
3. That is 100% fucking true, she wants attention.

Hard pass I'll take it. Maybe I'll just send her 'I get what you are saying.. but that's just not gonna happen. You can't always get what you want.'

Some shit like that

[recursivelyenumerable]

She sent me a txt saying "It's a shame we can't hang out anymore as friends after I told you it wasn't mutual. I really think you are a cool and relaxing guy and from my point of view a good friendship was def in the cards"

I'm like wtf.. ok so I replied

"Yeah it is a shame, but a friendship is difficult thing when one person likes the person on another lvl and it's not mutual. Because the more I talk with you, the more I wanna hang out and do stuff with you. I don't really feel like dealing with all that to be honest".

so I got a txt back saying "Okay, fine"

So today at work she's giving me the stink eye.. so I send her a msg saying yo we should at least be able to just say hi to eachother at work and stuff like that, just as colleague's.

friendthirsty girls don't wanna be colleaguezone'd

[recursivelyenumerable]

we've been together for six months now, also I moved into her house last week

[toku]

we've been together for six months now, also I moved into her house last week

[thisismyusername]

No lie, I'd do SantaC probably.

In other news: Swiped right or whatever the like side is on Tindr after getting a notification that someone liked me on a whim to see if the the top one/first one I saw was the one that liked me. They were. And... they have this kinda-girlish face that is  Not sure. We've gotten to talking and they want to meet up but at the same time I'm so " " toward their looks that I'm not sure I want to. But I haven't said that as I'm not a complete asshole.

Totally superficial, but I mean...

[brawndolicious]

No lie, I'd do SantaC probably.

In other news: Swiped right or whatever the like side is on Tindr after getting a notification that someone liked me on a whim to see if the the top one/first one I saw was the one that liked me. They were. And... they have this kinda-girlish face that is  Not sure. We've gotten to talking and they want to meet up but at the same time I'm so " " toward their looks that I'm not sure I want to. But I haven't said that as I'm not a complete asshole.

Totally superficial, but I mean...

I have to see what this person looks like. People thought I was a short-haired girl pre-puberty but I won't judge you.

You can just PM if you want to keep their privacy.

[thisismyusername]

I have to see what this person looks like. People thought I was a short-haired girl pre-puberty but I won't judge you.

You can just PM if you want to keep their privacy.

They're in their late twenties. So it's not really "late-puberty" at this point.

I haven't sent a message to them in a few days, and I feel bad about that because I don't want to be an asshole. But at the same time, I'm not really sure I want to meet up with them as it's such a " " reaction in terms of their looks.

[CatsCatsCats]

If you are meh about them don’t waste either of y’all’s time

[thisismyusername]

I mean we haven't talked too deeply enough to know if I want to meet-up, they just popped it out of the blue.

To be honest, I haven't even mentioned the biggest hurdle that they'd face to them. And besides which, I'm still hung up on the face.

In any case, to not be a total asshole, I sent a message despite a 2-3 day gap. We'll see if they ever reply back, but I doubt it. *shrug*

[CatsCatsCats]

It’s not being mean/rude to not be attracted to someone, just sayin

[Rahxephon91]

It’s not being mean/rude to not be attracted to someone, just sayin

[I'm a Puppy!]

It’s not being mean/rude to not be attracted to someone, just sayin

Sounds like something one of those "beautiful people" would say

[CatsCatsCats]

🤷‍♀️

[TakingBackSunday]

It’s not being mean/rude to not be attracted to someone, just sayin

it's not, though

[Raist]

It’s not being mean/rude to not be attracted to someone, just sayin

Well it depends, in some cases it's complete bigotry.

[CatsCatsCats]

[BlueTsunami]

Protip: sending a girl youre into roaches crawling out of a vagina body horror amd being like, lol practice good hygiene, isnt a good snap to send of youre not sure theyre cool like that

[I'm a Puppy!]

That's a good tip.

[BlueTsunami]

*opened 52m ago*

 

[Atramental]

My "ex-fling" texted me today asking me how I've been. 

I responded back many hours later since I'm a busy making money n shit. 

[toku]

shoulda sent a tasteful dick pic

[thisismyusername]

It’s not being mean/rude to not be attracted to someone, just sayin

Yeah, but at the same time I don't want to be a total dick. Plus, I still haven't thrown the hurdle at them. I guess I should do that now that they've replied to see how bad they take it. (Not on them, on me)

[Atramental]

shoulda sent a tasteful dick pic

It's too cold at the moment for that. 

[Rahxephon91]

Heloooooooo...

[Rahxephon91]

My "ex-fling" texted me today asking me how I've been. 

I responded back many hours later since I'm a busy making money n shit. 

Must not be super busy enough to tell us.

[Rahxephon91]

It’s not being mean/rude to not be attracted to someone, just sayin

it's not, though

I agree. Just have to be polite about it.

[TakingBackSunday]

It’s not being mean/rude to not be attracted to someone, just sayin

it's not, though

I agree. Just have to be polite about it.

Oh totally!  There’s being honest and polite and then there’s just being overtly cruel.

[brawndolicious]

For the first time it feels like I actually want to break up with my gf of two years. She (probably) has Borderline Personality Disorder so this is literally the 50th or so break-up in those two years but it always feels like I'm taking care of her so I can't leave no matter what she says or does. In the beginning she brought up BPD but then when I asked her to go to a therapist she denies that that's it. She says it's maybe anxiety or ADD or nothing is actually wrong with her.

A common symptom of BPD is that you try to control the impulsiveness by avoiding sex. I haven't had sex in months because every time I bring it up I get called a pervert. I don't understand how somebody you've talked to every day for 2 years can care so little. If her mood is off, she tries to humiliate me in public. She tries to cut me off from seeing friends and family. She goes on my Facebook and deletes female friends she's jealous of that I haven't talked to in years. It just feels like I am in an abusive relationship not because of some disorder, but because that person doesn't care enough about me or anyone to stop the pain they cause.

[Bebpo]

For the first time it feels like I actually want to break up with my gf of two years. She (probably) has Borderline Personality Disorder so this is literally the 50th or so break-up in those two years but it always feels like I'm taking care of her so I can't leave no matter what she says or does. In the beginning she brought up BPD but then when I asked her to go to a therapist she denies that that's it. She says it's maybe anxiety or ADD or nothing is actually wrong with her.

A common symptom of BPD is that you try to control the impulsiveness by avoiding sex. I haven't had sex in months because every time I bring it up I get called a pervert. I don't understand how somebody you've talked to every day for 2 years can care so little. If her mood is off, she tries to humiliate me in public. She tries to cut me off from seeing friends and family. She goes on my Facebook and deletes female friends she's jealous of that I haven't talked to in years. It just feels like I am in an abusive relationship not because of some disorder, but because that person doesn't care enough about me or anyone to stop the pain they cause.

Oh god, get out get out get out get out.

You are in an abusive relationship. She is controlling you. You may think you can help her and want to be there for her but she is using and abusing you and it'll probably be difficult to get out of because she will try to push your buttons and pretend to need you to save her but don't fall for it.

Get out and don't look back. Also it's going to take time to get over the mental damage she's caused, but you'll be ok. Just get out as soon as you can.

I've been there, you need to get out of this relationship.

[Valkyrie]

Yeah.. better get out of this one asap.

[Raist]

For the first time it feels like I actually want to break up with my gf of two years. She (probably) has Borderline Personality Disorder so this is literally the 50th or so break-up in those two years but it always feels like I'm taking care of her so I can't leave no matter what she says or does. In the beginning she brought up BPD but then when I asked her to go to a therapist she denies that that's it. She says it's maybe anxiety or ADD or nothing is actually wrong with her.

A common symptom of BPD is that you try to control the impulsiveness by avoiding sex. I haven't had sex in months because every time I bring it up I get called a pervert. I don't understand how somebody you've talked to every day for 2 years can care so little. If her mood is off, she tries to humiliate me in public. She tries to cut me off from seeing friends and family. She goes on my Facebook and deletes female friends she's jealous of that I haven't talked to in years. It just feels like I am in an abusive relationship not because of some disorder, but because that person doesn't care enough about me or anyone to stop the pain they cause.

Dude GTHO.

And this:

it always feels like I'm taking care of her so I can't leave no matter what she says or does

No.

[fistfulofmetal]

My girlfriend had a friend with BPD awhile back and it messed her up as well. She had to go to therapy to break out of the mental rut the friendship caused. Someone with BPD who doesn't get it treated in anyway are super destructive to those around them.

Long and short - get outta there my dude.

[I'm a Puppy!]

For the first time it feels like I actually want to break up with my gf of two years. She (probably) has Borderline Personality Disorder so this is literally the 50th or so break-up in those two years but it always feels like I'm taking care of her so I can't leave no matter what she says or does. In the beginning she brought up BPD but then when I asked her to go to a therapist she denies that that's it. She says it's maybe anxiety or ADD or nothing is actually wrong with her.

A common symptom of BPD is that you try to control the impulsiveness by avoiding sex. I haven't had sex in months because every time I bring it up I get called a pervert. I don't understand how somebody you've talked to every day for 2 years can care so little. If her mood is off, she tries to humiliate me in public. She tries to cut me off from seeing friends and family. She goes on my Facebook and deletes female friends she's jealous of that I haven't talked to in years. It just feels like I am in an abusive relationship not because of some disorder, but because that person doesn't care enough about me or anyone to stop the pain they cause.

My ex was (is) mentally ill and I had the same feeling of "Without me, who will take care of her?" At one point I finally came to the realization that I deserved better and she would have to learn to put her life together on her own. That all happened about 14 years ago, and she's just now starting to put her life together. If I had stayed because I felt I needed to take care of her over a decade of my life would be gone. As it is, I realize that I mainly stayed with her years longer than I should have because of a misplaced sense of responsibility.  Don't make my mistake. Relationships are a partnership, and yes, sometimes you need to carry the other person and they need to carry you. But you can't be the only one doing the carrying. That's not love. That's servitude.

And BTW, as many have already said, people like that are destructive to others. Like my ex, she's alienated practically everyone in her life with the exception of one friend. If you want the true measure of a person see how many people still stick with them after years of knowing them.  Even if they're far apart. If you keep noticing someone has only short term friends, that's another bad sign.

[toku]

One of the hardest things to learn, not just in relationships but life in general is none of us are here to save people. You can offer help, assist etc but if you're fucking up your own internal life for the sake of others you're in the wrong too. Love and take care of yourself first, always, and get the fuck out.

[ToxicAdam]

Many times when people refuse sex or intimacy it's their passive-aggressive way of breaking up with you. They will give you 100 other excuses, but it's all to mask their true reasons.

It's hard to see when you are in the middle of it, because they are acting nice in every other way, but they don't have the guts/fortitude to actually break up with you. So, they sabotage it in the hopes that you go away.

It's pretty diabolical, but it's how some people behave.


I would take the hint. Don't waste years of your life chasing someone that doesn't care about your basic needs. There's too many other people out there that will properly love you.

[CatsCatsCats]

BURN IT DOWN

[Cryo]

One of the hardest things to learn, not just in relationships but life in general is none of us are here to save people. You can offer help, assist etc but if you're fucking up your own internal life for the sake of others you're in the wrong too. Love and take care of yourself first, always, and get the fuck out.

someone should've told this to Jesus

[chronovore]

For the first time it feels like I actually want to break up with my gf of two years. She (probably) has Borderline Personality Disorder so this is literally the 50th or so break-up in those two years but it always feels like I'm taking care of her so I can't leave no matter what she says or does. In the beginning she brought up BPD but then when I asked her to go to a therapist she denies that that's it. She says it's maybe anxiety or ADD or nothing is actually wrong with her.

A common symptom of BPD is that you try to control the impulsiveness by avoiding sex. I haven't had sex in months because every time I bring it up I get called a pervert. I don't understand how somebody you've talked to every day for 2 years can care so little. If her mood is off, she tries to humiliate me in public. She tries to cut me off from seeing friends and family. She goes on my Facebook and deletes female friends she's jealous of that I haven't talked to in years. It just feels like I am in an abusive relationship not because of some disorder, but because that person doesn't care enough about me or anyone to stop the pain they cause.

Get out; that's crazypants territory.

If she texts you afterwards, only reply with this:
https://twitter.com/twitter/statuses/943715174883758080

[Bebpo]

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[hungrynoob]

I signed up again for tinder but on the webpage and not the phone app asi have windows phone. 3 days and not a single match, i cant tell if its because i have a terrible profile or theres a glitch.

anyone want to rate my profile for me kthx

[bluemax]

OkCupid continues their slow morph to becoming Tinder by requiring you to put your first name in for display purposes now.

[hungrynoob]

I dont mind posting it here, if in the off chance anyone else is curious to take a peek and offer suggestions, the more the merrier, put in an album link so people have choice to open or not.

https://imgur.com/a/hvvs3

e: 4 days not even a peep of evidence my profile even exists to other people, wtf.

[Samson Manhug]

It's just a bit cliche. Less is more on Tinder. I'd take all that stuff out of your profile and just put a one liner. They can get to know you during the conversation. I'd lose the second picture. I think more than one selfie is too many and your IMO your 4th picture is the most handsome selfie. Also, put a picture in there of you traveling instead of saying you like traveling.

[Valkyrie]

Tip: Remove photo #2 and #6, and make photo #4 your profile picture.

[hungrynoob]

Okay picture reshuffle done, with simplification of profile bio to just "All i ask is youre weird, sometimes". And decided to swipe right for all, just to see if i was being too picky (although dont think i was), nothing yet. Pretty sure my bio is glitched. Also listen, just because i want to travel, doesnt mean I have in the past, ive only left this country twice before. 20 years ago and 10 years ago.

 cheers

[Oblivion]

Going on a blind date with some Asian chick (second one ever! ).

Wish me luck, boys! (in that, hopefully she turns out stacked)

[Bebpo]

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