Ok, I finally finished reading it. So, like police officers who tase/mace themselves to get an idea of how painful their tools are, I now have a clearer conscience in inflicting this book on Assimilate.
Assimilate: Yes, there are very few pages, and the margins are huge, but this book is still a bit of a slog. The first few pages are especially bad, but it does get easier as you go.
There were a few times where I thought to myself "This is kind of interesting" but then I realized that all of those times were just him retelling different myths, and I probably would have enjoyed them better reading them off a Wikipedia page. Jordan's contribution is pretty much just him going "This person represents order, and this person represents chaos" only a lot more dry and long winded.
So with that I am off to drink myself to sleep.