Corona Thread |OT| Nu variant, who dis?

[thisismyusername]

Just checking in to notify that i've been feeling light headed and with a bit of a runny nose all day.

RIP me.
So long, folks.

Post hog in the private board before you die.

I'm gonna wait till i lose some body fat due to dysentery, then post nudes on my Instagram.

...Just make sure to post a link in the private board for me.

TYIA</Kara>

[james]

Thinking of stocking up tomorrow on supplies.

Everyone says "get canned goods" but wtf does that mean. I never buy anything in a can. What even comes in cans.

Veggies/fruits/beans/pastas/some meats. Pretty much anything can and does come in cans, with the point being they last forever (not literally but often multiple years) while sealed.

Why wouldn't I get veggies and meats frozen though

And pasta lasts forever in boxes just fine

[Joe Molotov]

When the electricity/internet goes out, I'm killing myself anyway, so why bother stocking up?

[TVC15]

When the electricity/internet goes out, I'm killing myself anyway, so why bother stocking up?

Hear, hear! The moment I can no longer have burritos delivered to my doorstep is when I start gauging locations to hang myself.

[Tuckers Law]

When the electricity/internet goes out, I'm killing myself anyway, so why bother stocking up?

Hear, hear! The moment I can no longer have burritos delivered to my doorstep is when I start gauging locations to hang myself.

Monkey bars at a nearby Kindergarten class is the way to do it.  Those kids are gonna see some dead bodies eventually, may as well be at a place of learning.

[team filler]

it's because they're problematic 

[TVC15]

When the electricity/internet goes out, I'm killing myself anyway, so why bother stocking up?

Hear, hear! The moment I can no longer have burritos delivered to my doorstep is when I start gauging locations to hang myself.

Monkey bars at a nearby Kindergarten class is the way to do it.  Those kids are gonna see some dead bodies eventually, may as well be at a place of learning.

I’ve kind of wanted to do it naked on a bridge that hangs over a busy highway, with something scrawled on my chest in sharpie. I should probably think of something witty. I won’t be in the mood when the time’s at hand.

[james]

Spain has fallen

[chronovore]

https://twitter.com/sarahussein/status/1230681137300701184

  That's not great.

[benjipwns]

so are true white people still immune or no?

[Joe Molotov]

Spain has fallen

I think TVC can do better than that. Maybe just write Helter Skelter or something.

[zepblackstar]

uh oh

https://twitter.com/BNODesk/status/1232114740266180608

[james]

BERNIE GET IN THE BUNKER

https://twitter.com/mkraju/status/1232032972355842048

[TVC15]

BERNIE GET IN THE BUNKER

https://twitter.com/mkraju/status/1232032972355842048

Well, we’re officially fucked.

[james]

BERNIE GET IN THE BUNKER

https://twitter.com/mkraju/status/1232032972355842048

Well, we’re officially fucked.

Watch them announce 275 cases in the US after the markets close

Goddammit I haven't stocked up yet and I'm down to my last tp roll

[TVC15]

BERNIE GET IN THE BUNKER

https://twitter.com/mkraju/status/1232032972355842048

Well, we’re officially fucked.

Watch them announce 275 cases in the US after the markets close

Goddammit I haven't stocked up yet and I'm down to my last tp roll

Thanks to an Instakart order snafu, I’m good on tp until at least August. Everything else, uhhhhhhhhhhh is Jim Bakker still selling those buckets of macaroni and cheese?

[TVC15]

Where’s riotous been? Oh well, guess he abandoned us. It’s a fitting time to update my will anyway.

If I die, everything goes to filler, because he was the last person to bitch me, and those are the rules.

[james]

Where’s riotous been? Oh well, guess he abandoned us. It’s a fitting time to update my will anyway.

If I die, everything goes to filler, because he was the last person to bitch me, and those are the rules.

Can I get the tp please

[thisismyusername]

BERNIE GET IN THE BUNKER

https://twitter.com/mkraju/status/1232032972355842048

Finally. I get The Division 2 off the Epig and Uplay "exclusive" stores and can play it via Steam power: Using a steam generator for electricity and shooting my fellow man for lootdrops in real-life in a fallen nation from a virus.

[Great Rumbler]

Hopefully my Amazon order makes it in before society collapses.

[team filler]

Hopefully my Amazon order makes it in before society collapses.(Image removed from quote.)

[TVC15]

Yeah, let’s do this. Now that we’ve seen the full scope of candidates, what was truly the greatest vidya game of all time? Only votes that include a mainline Final Fantasy ranking will be considered valid.

[TVC15]

Radiant Silvergun

6 > 4 > 7 > 5 > 9 > 12 > 15 > 1 > 3 > 2 > 14 > 11 > 8 > 10 > 13

[team filler]

https://twitter.com/tyrone_brother/status/1231994559577645062

[thisismyusername]

Need to hunt down a M3 Gas Mask 6002 mask. 

[bluemax]

https://twitter.com/JuddLegum/status/1232050502025781257

[TEEEPO]

A sample of 50,404 patients with #COVIDー19 showed the following: - 95.6% had an abnormal chest CT scan - 90.9% had a fever - 70.8% had a cough - 41% had muscle soreness or fatigue - 21.3% were severe cases - 14.8% had ARDS* - 4.8% had died Source: https://www.medrxiv.org/content/10.1101/2020.02.18.20024539v1

[Cerveza mas fina]

Yeah, let’s do this. Now that we’ve seen the full scope of candidates, what was truly the greatest vidya game of all time? Only votes that include a mainline Final Fantasy ranking will be considered valid.

FF11

[Don Rumata]

Up to 36°c this morning, definitely got a cold... we'll see if it'll rise tomorrow. 
I'm gonna be The Bore's patient 0.
If you sent me a PM in the last 20 days, call you doctor.

1 Like = 1 Immunization.

[Ghoul]

Up to 36°c this morning, definitely got a cold... we'll see if it'll rise tomorrow. 
I'm gonna be The Bore's patient 0.
If you sent me a PM in the last 20 days, call you doctor.

1 Like = 1 Immunization.

Pfft we all wanna die, you ain't getting no likes.

[james]

Croatia and Bahrain have fallen

[Don Rumata]

Up to 36°c this morning, definitely got a cold... we'll see if it'll rise tomorrow. 
I'm gonna be The Bore's patient 0.
If you sent me a PM in the last 20 days, call you doctor.

1 Like = 1 Immunization.

Pfft we all wanna die, you ain't getting no likes.

COVID-19? More like COVETED-19!
 

[Kunai With Chain]

https://twitter.com/AbasAslani/status/1232272542968184832

 

After trying to cover up the scale they are ending up getting infected themselves, some karmic justice.

[Raist]

2 cases in Austria (both from Italy).

Seems like a normal reaction.

https://twitter.com/SimonTartarotti/status/1232272652221472769

Up to 36°c this morning, definitely got a cold... we'll see if it'll rise tomorrow. 
I'm gonna be The Bore's patient 0.
If you sent me a PM in the last 20 days, call you doctor.

1 Like = 1 Immunization.

If your temperature went up to reach 36˚C you might wanna see a doctor regardless.

[Don Rumata]

Under normal circumstances, >38° is usually when i start to worry beyond "stay in bed and drink a lot".
Although they say the emergency numbers are getting hammered already with people calling for all sorts of reasons (whether they're feeling ill, or they want info, or their neighbor coughed once).
I'll probably give the local doc. a call.

For now i'm just working from home.

[Baiano19]

A sample of 50,404 patients with #COVIDー19 showed the following: - 95.6% had an abnormal chest CT scan - 90.9% had a fever - 70.8% had a cough - 41% had muscle soreness or fatigue - 21.3% were severe cases - 14.8% had ARDS* - 4.8% had died Source: https://www.medrxiv.org/content/10.1101/2020.02.18.20024539v1

95-96% of pulmonary findings in a CT is insane. Virtually everyone with a flu will have some some kind of pneumonia.

It kills older people because they are more prone to co- infection with bacteria, yet all ages will have some respiratory impairment.

While this isn't the same disease as the Contagion movie, I am afraid the government responses will be similar.

[Occam]

Up to 36°c this morning, definitely got a cold... we'll see if it'll rise tomorrow. 
I'm gonna be The Bore's patient 0.
If you sent me a PM in the last 20 days, call you doctor.

1 Like = 1 Immunization.

If your temperature went up to reach 36˚C you might wanna see a doctor regardless.

What?
"The normal human body temperature range is typically stated as 36.5–37.5 °C"

[Ghoul]

not knowing fatal body heats 

[Raist]

Read again.

If your temperature went UP to reach a mere THIRTY-SIX degrees Celsius, thus implying your body temperature was otherwise below 36, then there's something wrong with you.


edit: I suppose it's possible that Don just blew his cover as a lizard person, alternatively.

[Don Rumata]

How do you do, fellow hot blooded mammals?

[Raist]

How do you do, fellow hot blooded mammals?

 

[james]

Switzerland has fallen

Nintex. Enjoy your last day

[Nintex]

Switzerland has fallen

Nintex. Enjoy your last day

So far no reported cases here.

We are too tall for the virus to reach us.
Only short people get sick (Chinese, Iranians etc.) 

[Nintex]

Larry is on the case. we all know alcohol kills the Corona virus it has no chance against Larry 

https://twitter.com/CNBC/status/1232375865054547968

https://twitter.com/JuddLegum/status/1232050502025781257

That's because we have Larry now. He cured the economy, he can fix this.

Trust Larry.

[james]

Larry is on the case. we all know alcohol kills the Corona virus it has no chance against Larry 

https://twitter.com/CNBC/status/1232375865054547968

https://twitter.com/JuddLegum/status/1232050502025781257

That's because we have Larry now. He cured the economy, he can fix this.

Trust Larry.

This is the kind of thing you say 12 hours before an outbreak is reported

[Nintex]

It's air tight and you won't be caught with your pants down.

What more reassurances could you possibly want?

https://twitter.com/JenniferJJacobs/status/1232382707532992514

[Raist]

Switzerland has fallen

Nintex. Enjoy your last day

So far no reported cases here.

We are too tall for the virus to reach us.
Only short people get sick (Chinese, Iranians etc.) 

Yeah cause Italians are well known for towering over everyone else in yurop.

What happened to " hmmm this virus only kills Chinese people " btw?

[OnlyRegret]

Switzerland has fallen

Nintex. Enjoy your last day

So far no reported cases here.

We are too tall for the virus to reach us.
Only short people get sick (Chinese, Iranians etc.) 

Yeah cause Italians are well known for towering over everyone else in yurop.

What happened to " hmmm this virus only kills Chinese people " btw?

Updated to non-white people I suppose.

[TEEEPO]

 

[TEEEPO]

and a day earlier the acting deputy secretary of homeland security asked twitter for help in accessing information pertaining to the epidemic

[james]

Trump gonna beat Bernie by making sure Corona kills off all the lefties waiting for Medicare for All.

Fact check, all the old people are on deaths bed

[Brehvolution]

Iran's own Health Minister has it. 

[james]

Heading to Walmart to stock up tonight

Wish me luck.

So many ugly people 

[ToxicAdam]

This is probably the best article I've read on the topic. Check it out.

https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2020/02/covid-vaccine/607000/

[Potato]

Thinking of stocking up tomorrow on supplies.

Everyone says "get canned goods" but wtf does that mean. I never buy anything in a can. What even comes in cans.

Beans. Beans come in cans. The benefits are twofold. You get to eat tasty beans and then enjoy the smell of your own farts while locked up in your house.

[Cerveza mas fina]

 if i had a 2% chance of winning the lottery id spend my paycheck, savings and the kids piggy bank.

[TEEEPO]

the atlantic's coverage has been fantastic in general

[james]

Guy struggling to select between two buttons meme

Button 1: canned goods and assorted provisions
Button 2: amiibos

*face in agony *

[TEEEPO]

also while it's not covered in the media, qom in iran is most famous for not being a holy destination but a place where money can buy you any pleasure you desire, gender and sexual orientation be damned

[Occam]

Some good news:

COVID-19 Vaccine Shipped, and Drug Trials Start
https://time.com/5790545/first-covid-19-vaccine/

Human testing to start as early as April.