That's another thing. "Don't police language" and "you MUST use these words when referring to people" are mutually exclusive concepts. Even if you keep that contained to marginalized groups, these people know damn well many have bigoted beliefs whether because of cultural reasons or lack of education (and let's not pretend that trans acceptance isn't a VERY recent thing and only in a select few locations). But if you point that out, you better be in those groups, or you'll be labeled a "white savior".
I've said it before, but being Jewish gives you a unique perspective on stuff like this because you realize it's all hierarchal bullshit, as a large portion of the planet think they're "punching up" when they hate us.