I just watched this hilariously bad Shaw Bros. movie called The Battle Wizard. The first two minutes of the movie were awesome, they went something like this:
*man and woman having sexy time*
Woman: "Uguuu..."
Man: "What's wrong, are you sick, are you pregnant?"
Woman: "Yes."
Man: "Uguuu...."
Woman: "Does this displease you?"
Man: "Just tell your husband it's his."
Woman: "I can't, he's been gone for six months!"
*husband kicks down the door*
Husband: "OMG, YOU SLUT YOU'RE HAVING AN AFFAIR!"
*husband starts sword fighting with the other man*
*other guy shoots lasers out of his hands and burns the husband's leg*
Husband: "You've used black magic to hurt me!"
Man: "It wasn't black magic, it was the Ya Ying Laser, all my family can do it."
Husband: "I'll get my revenge on you in 20 years!!!"
*man shoots lasers again and blow the husbands legs off, he springs away on his stumps*
Woman: "Now we can be together."
Man's Wife: "What's going on here, honey?"
Woman: "What, you didn't tell me you were married!"
Man's Wife: "That's right, and you're not even good enough to be his concubine, so beat it, slut."
Man and Man's Wife: "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
*both leave*
Woman: "Uguuu...."
Two minutes, three tops.