Crawl
Decent. I appreciate a good sub-90 runtime horror movie. I also respect it for not going the "WE MADE IT BAD ON PURPOSE, IT'S SO WACKY!" route like Sharknado, and actually playing it straight despite a premise that would lend itself to that kind of fuckery. That being said, it's not quite the balls-to-the-wall, alligator death struggle I was hoping for. About 75% of the movie is just two people in a basement with alligators, and there are chunks that are just them coming up with a plan, trying to execute the plan, an alligator briefly snaps at them, then they regroup and try to come up with another plan. The violence is also fairly restained for the director of High Tension and The Hills Have Eyes. I get the feeling that this movie was originally supposed to be PG-13 (it even has the classic single PG-13 MPAA-approved f-bomb). Gorehounds will be disappointed. Over all, I did enjoy it, but it was flimsy and lacked the bite of something like High Tension, or the guilty pleasure of Piranha 3D.
2.5/5
The Dead Don't Die
Finally got a chance to see this movie in theater, and I was kinda disappointed. It's a slow, shambling Romero Zombie of a movie, that tries to get by on the charm of it's cast alone. And don't get me wrong, the cast was brilliant, but the movie is just soooo slooooow and the humor is so deadpan that it felt about twice as long as it actually was. By the time it reached it's fourth wall shattering finale, featuring Tom Waits rasping about consumerism and Nintendo Gameboys, I felt like I had been there for at least 3 hours.
2/5
Mothra (1961)
Classic kaiju movie. Glad this is finally on Blu-Ray.
4/5
