Poll

Will I win or lose my moot court case?

Malek will lose
4 (8.3%)
Malek will lose and wet his pants
1 (2.1%)
Malek will lose, wet his pants, and shit his pants
0 (0%)
Malek will lose, wet his pants, shit his pants, and then pass out
2 (4.2%)
Malek will lose, wet his pants, shit his pants, and pass out. Then Flannel Girl will laugh at him, go home, and have sex with a real man.
18 (37.5%)
Malek won't even show up, lolz.
12 (25%)
Malek won't even show up after hanging himself using his own necktie.
2 (4.2%)
Malek will be awesome. He'll then take on Ichirou as a client and sue the pants off of mupepe.
9 (18.8%)

Total Members Voted: 43

Author Topic: Malek's Diary-ah  (Read 53274 times)

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Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #120 on: March 14, 2009, 10:38:34 PM »
Flannel girl is probably a lesbian, you know. 

She doesn't actually wear flannel.

[youtube=560,345]0wLdnVxEHpk&fmt=18[/youtube]


WhiteMan, am I threat to the public? Do I need to take something substantially stronger than celexa. I'm asking because you're practically a doctor after your 99% exam result.
AKQ

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Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #121 on: March 14, 2009, 10:42:49 PM »
I think you will be fine if you just drink more.  Since I can no no longer drink, consider yourself using for the both of us.
serge

Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #122 on: March 14, 2009, 10:44:30 PM »
I think you will be fine if you just drink more.  Since I can no no longer drink, consider yourself using for the both of us.

If I drink for the both of us, I think I'll die of alcohol poisoning rather quickly. Maybe if I was drinking for PD.
AKQ

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Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #123 on: March 14, 2009, 10:45:55 PM »
I think you will be fine if you just drink more.  Since I can no no longer drink, consider yourself using for the both of us.

If I drink for the both of us, I think I'll die of alcohol poisoning rather quickly. Maybe if I was drinking for PD.

The other night, while under extreme duress I drank an entire fifth of rum and about 3/4ths of a fifth of scotch.  I don't get drunk, just tired and a bit relaxed. 
serge

Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #124 on: March 14, 2009, 10:48:00 PM »
I hate rum. No deal.

[youtube=560,345]DNsmrd-aR1c[/youtube]

Well she was just 17 28, if you know what I mean.

AKQ

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Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #125 on: March 14, 2009, 10:49:32 PM »
Let's just stop talking about our grotesque alcoholisms.

Did you know the creator of wonder woman also invented the most important component of the polygraph?  Or at least the OG polygraph.  Really don't know how much it has evolved.
serge

Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #126 on: March 14, 2009, 10:51:51 PM »
Let's just stop talking about our grotesque alcoholisms.

Did you know the creator of wonder woman also invented the most important component of the polygraph?  Or at least the OG polygraph.  Really don't know how much it has evolved.

what an odd digression.

AKQ

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Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #127 on: March 14, 2009, 10:54:38 PM »
I think it's kinda funny.  Inventor of the polygraph creates comic book hero with lasso that makes people tell the truth.  It is cute.
serge

Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #128 on: March 14, 2009, 10:58:25 PM »
I think it's kinda funny.  Inventor of the polygraph creates comic book hero with lasso that makes people tell the truth.  It is cute.

That is kind of cute.
AKQ

recursivelyenumerable

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Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #129 on: March 14, 2009, 11:00:28 PM »
IIRC he was quite a character in other ways too
QED

Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #130 on: March 14, 2009, 11:04:17 PM »
recursive, I'm falling in love with the idea of falling in love. Wait, how does that go again?

White Man, make sure love is in the DSM-V. It's irrational, disturbing and befuddles the mind.



[youtube=560,345]NIfPRfALgvA[/youtube]

AKQ

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Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #131 on: March 14, 2009, 11:05:03 PM »
IIRC he was quite a character in other ways too

Going by wiki, he was polyamorous and a feminist.  And he died in the 40s, so he is totally OG in respects to both of those things.  So:

1. Feminist
2. Banged multiple chicks and convinced them he loved them all/pimp
3. Invented polygraph
4. Created Wonder Woman

I'd take any one of those accomplishments.  At this point I'll be lucky to live past 30 without getting any limbs amputated.

Quote
White Man, make sure love is in the DSM-V. It's irrational, disturbing and befuddles the mind.

Lots of research on love.  It seems at some point in the past decade they got an inkling that oxytocin and vasopressin have something to do with it, and the research seems to back it up.  They get referred to as "bonding agents" a lot now.  Off the top of my head, when you bond with someone romantically, you get high vasopressin/oxytocin levels for about a year to two years, which kinda maps up to the infatuation period in a relationship.  The obvious conclusion is don't get married if you haven't been dating for more than 2 years, since after that point, the high of love is gone and you're going to have to worry about whether you are compatible.

A small percentage of couples retain the higher levels of the bonding agents, btw. So true love does appear to scientifically exist.

And this is frontier stuff, so the book could be rewritten a zillion times in the next few years.
« Last Edit: March 14, 2009, 11:08:52 PM by TVC 15 »
serge

Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #132 on: March 14, 2009, 11:07:33 PM »
I would also consider it an accomplishment if I banged another woman before I turned 30
AKQ

Madrun Badrun

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Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #133 on: March 14, 2009, 11:13:16 PM »
fuck I have the prefect thing for tomorrow if I remember to bring the camera.  Just you wait. 
NtGay

Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #134 on: March 14, 2009, 11:15:46 PM »

Quote
White Man, make sure love is in the DSM-V. It's irrational, disturbing and befuddles the mind.

Lots of research on love.  It seems at some point in the past decade they got an inkling that oxytocin and vasopressin have something to do with it, and the research seems to back it up.  They get referred to as "bonding agents" a lot now.  Off the top of my head, when you bond with someone romantically, you get high vasopressin/oxytocin levels for about a year to two years, which kinda maps up to the infatuation period in a relationship.  The obvious conclusion is don't get married if you haven't been dating for more than 2 years, since after that point, the high of love is gone and you're going to have to worry about whether you are compatible.

A small percentage of couples retain the higher levels of the bonding agents, btw. So true love does appear to scientifically exist.

And this is frontier stuff, so the book could be rewritten a zillion times in the next few years.

Can a stalker's brain--my brain--be inundated with these "bonding agents."
AKQ

Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #135 on: March 14, 2009, 11:16:37 PM »
fuck I have the prefect thing for tomorrow if I remember to bring the camera.  Just you wait. 

Great, Father Mike kidnapped Flannel Girl and locked her up in his mother's basement.
AKQ

Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #136 on: March 14, 2009, 11:18:25 PM »
[youtube=560,345]Q8DVI5Cc1s0[/youtube]

[youtube=560,345]cBi5eHfqW5s[/youtube]
AKQ

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Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #137 on: March 14, 2009, 11:19:24 PM »

Quote
White Man, make sure love is in the DSM-V. It's irrational, disturbing and befuddles the mind.

Lots of research on love.  It seems at some point in the past decade they got an inkling that oxytocin and vasopressin have something to do with it, and the research seems to back it up.  They get referred to as "bonding agents" a lot now.  Off the top of my head, when you bond with someone romantically, you get high vasopressin/oxytocin levels for about a year to two years, which kinda maps up to the infatuation period in a relationship.  The obvious conclusion is don't get married if you haven't been dating for more than 2 years, since after that point, the high of love is gone and you're going to have to worry about whether you are compatible.

A small percentage of couples retain the higher levels of the bonding agents, btw. So true love does appear to scientifically exist.

And this is frontier stuff, so the book could be rewritten a zillion times in the next few years.

Can a stalker's brain--my brain--be inundated with these "bonding agents."

Dunno.  I'd imagine this sort of research is incredibly difficult to do.  Everyone has the bonding agents.  IIRC, men have more vasopressin and women have more oxytocin.  They serve other purposes--I believe they are both neurotransmitter and hormone.  Oxytocin, for example, is responsible for making women bleed milk out of their tits after they give birth.  Vasopressin does regulatory things around the body that I forget, exactly.  
serge

recursivelyenumerable

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Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #138 on: March 14, 2009, 11:21:18 PM »
la la la
« Last Edit: March 14, 2009, 11:24:44 PM by recursivelyenumerable »
QED

Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #139 on: March 14, 2009, 11:24:21 PM »
Quote
One of the most important roles of AVP is to regulate the body's retention of water; it is released when the body is dehydrated and causes the kidneys to conserve water, thus concentrating the urine, and reducing urine volume.

.

Quote
I would also consider it an accomplishment if I banged another woman before I turned 30

I actually did last weekend (sort of).  i don't really care one way or another about that stuff anymore, though.  i have disassociated it from my ego.  but I think she liked it so that's nice.  even if I was a bit of a jerk in retrospect

sort of? What does that mean?
AKQ

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Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #140 on: March 14, 2009, 11:24:59 PM »
I knew it was something with water.  That also explains why peeing on each other is such an important and prominent part of lovemaking.
serge

Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #141 on: March 14, 2009, 11:25:50 PM »
AKQ

Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #142 on: March 14, 2009, 11:28:02 PM »
I knew it was something with water.  That also explains why peeing on each other is such an important and prominent part of lovemaking.
I await your psychology textbook.

With your experience with technical writing, psychology, and abnormal porn, it will be a masterpiece.
AKQ

Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #143 on: March 14, 2009, 11:29:48 PM »
[youtube=560,345]SuB8xWeA59I[/youtube]

TAKE A CHANCE ON ME, FLANNEL GIRL.
AKQ

Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #144 on: March 14, 2009, 11:33:12 PM »
[youtube=560,345]FjjDmX9Tkss[/youtube]

Shes going to break your heart in two, its true
AKQ

recursivelyenumerable

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Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #145 on: March 14, 2009, 11:39:51 PM »
Quote
sort of? What does that mean?

it was an impromptu thing, so I wasn't prepared.  so that limited us if we wanted to be (relatively) responsible.  you can probably imagine.
« Last Edit: March 14, 2009, 11:41:28 PM by recursivelyenumerable »
QED

Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #146 on: March 14, 2009, 11:43:26 PM »
You read her Fear and Trembling or ?
AKQ

Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #147 on: March 14, 2009, 11:46:07 PM »
Breaking out some solo McCartney to express the sappy, unoriginal love that I'm feeling.

[youtube=560,345]cm2YyVZBL8U[/youtube]


Great bass line:
[youtube=560,345]AK9QVN0bpa4[/youtube]

[youtube=560,345]0P2MOrWrsk8[/youtube]
« Last Edit: March 14, 2009, 11:47:42 PM by Malek »
AKQ

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Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #148 on: March 14, 2009, 11:49:09 PM »
Quote
sort of? What does that mean?

it was an impromptu thing, so I wasn't prepared.  so that limited us if we wanted to be (relatively) responsible.  you can probably imagine.

You decided to code a neural network that can recognize your face as you're about to cum and signal to you to pull out didn't you?  :drool


She left on the second round of training the network didn't she.   :-\
NtGay

Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #149 on: March 14, 2009, 11:52:54 PM »
[youtube=560,345]Q6bARIaMhCM[/youtube]
AKQ

Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #150 on: March 14, 2009, 11:55:47 PM »
[youtube=560,345]788H0K5KrYI[/youtube]

kill me  :-\

AKQ

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Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #151 on: March 14, 2009, 11:55:59 PM »
The Jackson 5?  Fuck you're taking flannel girl setting her facebook to private pretty hard aren't you. 
NtGay

Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #152 on: March 14, 2009, 11:59:30 PM »
 :(


[youtube=560,345]rO8JWbG6bVw[/youtube]

Drinking heavily and surfing youtube for love songs.

This is life?
AKQ

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Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #153 on: March 15, 2009, 12:02:10 AM »
[youtube=560,345]UaYLdFE7s9Y[/youtube]
NtGay

Olivia Wilde Homo

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Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #154 on: March 15, 2009, 12:48:40 AM »
Don't lawyers have some of the lowest job satisfaction rates out there?  Maybe that is just American lawyers and not Canadian.

8===D

Barry Egan

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Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #155 on: March 15, 2009, 12:48:51 AM »
hmm. sad thread.

I'm glad to hear recursive scored though.  yay recursive!  :hump

Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #156 on: March 15, 2009, 01:58:29 AM »
Don't lawyers have some of the lowest job satisfaction rates out there? 



I'd be hurting any profession's job satisfaction rate. I bring a lack of satisfaction to wherever I go.
AKQ

Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #157 on: March 15, 2009, 01:59:41 AM »
By my quick estimate, I spend about $350 a month on booze and energy drinks.  :-\ :-\ :-\
AKQ

Akala

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Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #158 on: March 15, 2009, 02:40:08 AM »
By my quick estimate, I spend about $350 a month on booze and energy drinks.  :-\ :-\ :-\

Look on the bright side. That's only about $275 USD! I probably spend double that, once cigarettes are accounted for.
Aka

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Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #159 on: March 15, 2009, 03:27:08 AM »
Silly Love Songs, Malek?  That is likely the worst of the worst of McCartney's many crimes.  It's more healthy huffing gas until you pass out.
serge

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Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #160 on: March 15, 2009, 03:42:54 AM »
Silly Love Songs, Malek?  That is likely the worst of the worst of McCartney's many crimes.  It's more healthy huffing gas until you pass out.

malek has both covered, he just forgot to mention his $100 a month habit of spray paint and turpentine. 
NtGay

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Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #161 on: March 15, 2009, 03:46:34 AM »
If I could go back in time and prevent the creation of Silly Love Songs by having my dad fist me as a 3 year old child, I definitely would.  For the planet.
serge

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Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #162 on: March 15, 2009, 03:47:57 AM »
what i believe to be malek's life story


drew

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Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #163 on: March 15, 2009, 05:14:10 AM »
d

Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #164 on: March 15, 2009, 11:37:02 AM »
Silly Love Songs, Malek?  That is likely the worst of the worst of McCartney's many crimes.  It's more healthy huffing gas until you pass out.

The lyrics are an unhealthy mix of honey, maple syrup, cotton candy, fudge, highly concentrated sugar cubes, and the blood of a flaming Oompa-Loompa, but the bass line is pure sex.
« Last Edit: March 15, 2009, 11:41:01 AM by Malek »
AKQ

Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #165 on: March 15, 2009, 11:45:33 AM »
Astrolad needs to takes notes about trolling from this song:

Some people wanna fill the world with silly love songs.
And whats wrong with that?
Id like to know, cause here I go again
I love you, I love you,
I love you, I love you
AKQ

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Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #166 on: March 15, 2009, 12:23:55 PM »
If I could go back in time and prevent the creation of Silly Love Songs by having my dad fist me as a 3 year old child, I definitely would.  For the planet.

you are a true humanitarian. 
NtGay

Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #167 on: March 15, 2009, 12:25:45 PM »
If I could go back in time and prevent the creation of Silly Love Songs by having my dad fist me as a 3 year old child, I definitely would.  For the planet.

you are a true humanitarian. 

The odd thing is that "Silly Love Songs" was already released by that time. White Man just wanted to be fisted by his father.
AKQ

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Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #168 on: March 15, 2009, 01:35:02 PM »
If I could go back in time and prevent the creation of Silly Love Songs by having my dad fist me as a 3 year old child, I definitely would.  For the planet.

you are a true humanitarian. 

The odd thing is that "Silly Love Songs" was already released by that time. White Man just wanted to be fisted by his father.

Shit just got real.
@

bud

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Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #169 on: March 15, 2009, 02:15:54 PM »
did you win or lose? i haven't read the thread
zzz

Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #170 on: March 15, 2009, 02:35:28 PM »
did you win or lose? i haven't read the thread

The decision is being reserved by the judge. Meaning, he's going to give a written decision. But it was a win because I managed to refrain from doing anything stupid, and I got to see Flannel Girl in high heels.  :drool :drool :drool
AKQ

Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #171 on: March 15, 2009, 02:40:22 PM »
I got my mind set on you, Flannel Girl

[youtube=560,345]-_niy2ZM5Jo[/youtube]
AKQ

bud

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Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #172 on: March 15, 2009, 02:45:02 PM »
am i the only one who loves hot chicks wearing sweatpants?

that's like my latest fetish
zzz

Barry Egan

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Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #173 on: March 15, 2009, 02:50:00 PM »
one day Malek's going to gain the courage to speak to this women only to accidentally refer to her as 'flannel girl'.  oh the lulz.

Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #174 on: March 15, 2009, 02:58:28 PM »
am i the only one who loves hot chicks wearing sweatpants?

that's like my latest fetish

Holy Shit, I love women in sweatpants!





























 :nsfw

spoiler (click to show/hide)
« Last Edit: March 15, 2009, 03:15:10 PM by Malek »
AKQ

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Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #175 on: March 15, 2009, 04:47:33 PM »
If I could go back in time and prevent the creation of Silly Love Songs by having my dad fist me as a 3 year old child, I definitely would.  For the planet.

you are a true humanitarian. 

The odd thing is that "Silly Love Songs" was already released by that time. White Man just wanted to be fisted by his father.

Maybe getting fisted by my dad would inspire me to grow up to invent a second gen time machine that could be used to travel back more than 25 years, unlike the crude, first run time machine I had used to travel back in time to get fisted with in the first place.
serge

Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #176 on: March 15, 2009, 04:49:32 PM »
Why not just go back in time and fist McCartney, making him bitter and angry and preventing him from ever writing a sappy love song.
AKQ

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Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #177 on: March 15, 2009, 04:50:48 PM »
But what if whatever is wrong with him could be contracted via touch?  No way I am getting near that dude's prostate.
serge

Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #178 on: March 15, 2009, 04:53:46 PM »
I don't think awesomeness can be transmitted like an STD.
AKQ

Dickie Dee

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Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #179 on: March 15, 2009, 05:48:48 PM »
:bow Macca :bow2

:bow Band on the Run :bow2
___