Poll

Will I win or lose my moot court case?

Malek will lose
4 (8.3%)
Malek will lose and wet his pants
1 (2.1%)
Malek will lose, wet his pants, and shit his pants
0 (0%)
Malek will lose, wet his pants, shit his pants, and then pass out
2 (4.2%)
Malek will lose, wet his pants, shit his pants, and pass out. Then Flannel Girl will laugh at him, go home, and have sex with a real man.
18 (37.5%)
Malek won't even show up, lolz.
12 (25%)
Malek won't even show up after hanging himself using his own necktie.
2 (4.2%)
Malek will be awesome. He'll then take on Ichirou as a client and sue the pants off of mupepe.
9 (18.8%)

Total Members Voted: 43

Author Topic: Malek's Diary-ah  (Read 50583 times)

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Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #180 on: March 15, 2009, 06:03:17 PM »
:bow Macca :bow2

:bow Band on the Run :bow2

holy shit, new favorite poster!

 :bow Mamacint  :bow2
AKQ

drew

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Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #181 on: March 15, 2009, 06:05:00 PM »
I don't think awesomeness can be transmitted like an STD.

filthy baby boomer sympathizer scum

Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #182 on: March 15, 2009, 06:06:10 PM »
Relax

take a xanax
AKQ

drew

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Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #183 on: March 15, 2009, 06:07:00 PM »
im out :'(

Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #184 on: March 16, 2009, 08:27:00 PM »
During a court recess, we were arguing about the attractiveness of Canadian federal leaders. Jack Layton, leader of the NDP, was brought up. Female student x, when asked whether she thought Layton was attractive, said no because she finds "facial hair hideous." (note I was right there)

FML
« Last Edit: March 16, 2009, 08:28:59 PM by Malek »
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Akala

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Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #185 on: March 16, 2009, 08:31:05 PM »
ouch.
Aka

demi

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Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #186 on: March 16, 2009, 08:35:32 PM »
During a court recess, we were arguing about the attractiveness of Canadian federal leaders. Jack Layton, leader of the NDP, was brought up. Female student x, when asked whether she thought Layton was attractive, said no because she finds "facial hair hideous." (note I was right there)

FML

I could have told you that. Stubble > Beard
fat

Madrun Badrun

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Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #187 on: March 16, 2009, 08:38:30 PM »
layton is good looking. 



NDP! NDP!
NtGay

Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #188 on: March 16, 2009, 08:43:42 PM »
layton is good looking. 

(Image removed from quote.)

NDP! NDP!

Sad things is that she's a lifelong NDPer. But even though she's a lifelong NDPer, she still can't find Layton attractive, all because of a tiny mustache.
AKQ

demi

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Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #189 on: March 16, 2009, 08:44:16 PM »
Because that's a pedostache and there is no stubble.
fat

recursivelyenumerable

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Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #190 on: March 16, 2009, 08:45:37 PM »
facial hair isn't really something to angst over is it?  you can just shave it off, or grow it back if you subsequently meet a different girl who fetishizes it.  if only other physical attributes were so easy to adjust to market demands.
« Last Edit: March 16, 2009, 09:02:01 PM by recursivelyenumerable »
QED

Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #191 on: March 17, 2009, 05:19:43 AM »
facial hair isn't really something to angst over is it?  you can just shave it off, or grow it back if you subsequently meet a different girl who fetishizes it.  if only other physical attributes were so easy to adjust to market demands.

Well, I would if I thought my facial hair turned off Flannel Girl. Speaking of her, she was the last thing I thought about before going to bed, the main subject of my dreams*, and the first thing I thought about when I awoke.

This probably sounds creepy, but I'm madly in love with her . . . or I'm madly in love with the idea of being madly in lover with her.

Although I'm a big Beatles fan, I never understood their obsession with love, whether romantic or fraternal. Now that I'm in love--or the combination of celexa and constant alcohol consumption killed all my brain cells--I can understand. The thoughts about Flannel Girl have pushed most of the usual obsessive thoughts out of my mind.


*I also dreamt about Willco. His brother kicked my ass (one of the Kentucky posse, the Redhead, saved my life)  and posted the ass kicking online. I have no idea why that interrupted my dream with Flannel Girl.
« Last Edit: March 17, 2009, 05:25:14 AM by Malek »
AKQ

recursivelyenumerable

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Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #192 on: March 17, 2009, 09:28:42 AM »
i  understand why you'd prefer a girl made of flannel to one made of human skin and bones and muscle, etc.  that anatomy stuff is actually kinda disgusting.
QED

Madrun Badrun

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Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #193 on: March 17, 2009, 11:58:09 AM »
You're not in love with her.  It's probably in love with love.  It's just nice to have the feeling of being enamored with someone even if it's totally unreal.   Believe me it's better to nip it in the bud soon.  This is coming from someone who fell a sleep thinking of the same for like three years.   


Also I missed my first Calc class all semester today.  Turns out it is on the same stuff as the only class I missed in Calc last term and thus never understood.  I really should have gone.  :'(
NtGay

Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #194 on: March 18, 2009, 10:37:07 AM »
I don't know whether this is progress, but all my anxiety is now caused by Flannel Girl. "I could try to be big in the eyes of the world, What matters to me is what I could be to just one girl."

  :bow Beach Boys :bow2
« Last Edit: March 18, 2009, 10:38:41 AM by Malek »
AKQ

Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #195 on: March 18, 2009, 10:44:53 AM »
By the way, I'm rather concerned that there haven't been any positive comments about the girls in sweatpants. I'm starting to thing that Jinfash and I are the only straight posters here.
AKQ

Reb

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Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #196 on: March 18, 2009, 11:12:32 AM »
Hot. :drool
brb

Madrun Badrun

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Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #197 on: March 18, 2009, 11:13:08 AM »
They are pretty hot.  We were just more concerned about you, malek.  That and lots of those pics are old news.   Probably it was mostly this. 
NtGay

Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #198 on: March 18, 2009, 11:54:49 AM »
homos

spoiler (click to show/hide)
:-*
AKQ

Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #199 on: March 18, 2009, 02:01:20 PM »
Are those asses photoshopped? Wtf has happened in this thread?

I have to find out.

I'm going to assume that, for whatever reason, you didn't see my original post. Because if you did, then you would have to believe that, instead of Jinfash photoshopping the asses in, I possibly photoshopped the asses out! Since I'm not fistfulometal, that doesn't make sense.
AKQ

Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #200 on: March 18, 2009, 02:34:34 PM »
Speaking of pedos, I visited a Winnipeg detention centre on Monday, which is next to the court house. Pretty fucked up place. They have room for just 225 inmates, yet have over 400of them locked up. Consequently, inmates are forced to sleep on a thin foam mattresses on the floor, not  unlike Willco when he was living in SF.

The place is also a huge gang recruitment center. One of the guards admitted that general admins are often forced to join up with one of the many gangs in the detention center for protection. So you have general admins, coming in for a wide range of crimes--including many minor ones, who are forced to join up with violent thugs to commit serious crimes as soon as they leave. As a result, this place is only increasing Winnipeg's crime rate, which is already the highest in Canada.

edit: Note: Vince Li, the crazed man that decapitated a bus passenger and ate his eyes and heart, was staying at the centre, but was transferred before my visit.
« Last Edit: March 18, 2009, 02:45:33 PM by Malek »
AKQ

Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #201 on: March 18, 2009, 02:52:05 PM »
I had another dream about Flannel Girl. In the dream, she told me that she had to have her ovaries removed and wouldn't be able to have children. I told her it didn't change how I felt about her. Then the dream got weird. Not good weird, but weird weird.

I've been having a lot of weird dreams of late, possibly because I've been fasting since Sunday. I'm actually not that hungry, but I feel a bit light headed.
AKQ

muckhole

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Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #202 on: March 18, 2009, 02:56:25 PM »
Any particular motivation for the fasting? Flannel Girl isn't going to appreciate you looking gaunt and pale. :wag
fek

Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #203 on: March 18, 2009, 03:00:30 PM »
Any particular motivation for the fasting? Flannel Girl isn't going to appreciate you looking gaunt and pale. :wag

I've repeatedly burned my face over the last couple of weeks while going on mid-afternoon walks, so I'm actually not pale.

I think I felt bad for eating an entire half gallon container of ice cream on Saturday in one sitting. (just reading that sentence makes me sound silly. I have a very all-on-nothing mindset sometimes.)

Shit! I have go downtown to review my court appearance with a lawyer at one of the big Winnipeg firms today. That won't be fun. I think I'll take off my glasses so I don't have to watch the video. DEAR GOD
AKQ

muckhole

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Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #204 on: March 18, 2009, 03:05:11 PM »
Better eat something then. Don't want to go fainting in front of fellow lawyers due to malnourishment.
fek

Eric P

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Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #205 on: March 18, 2009, 03:05:32 PM »
Speaking of pedos, I visited a Winnipeg detention centre on Monday, which is next to the court house. Pretty fucked up place. They have room for just 225 inmates, yet have over 400of them locked up. Consequently, inmates are forced to sleep on a thin foam mattresses on the floor, not  unlike Willco when he was living in SF.

The place is also a huge gang recruitment center. One of the guards admitted that general admins are often forced to join up with one of the many gangs in the detention center for protection. So you have general admins, coming in for a wide range of crimes--including many minor ones, who are forced to join up with violent thugs to commit serious crimes as soon as they leave. As a result, this place is only increasing Winnipeg's crime rate, which is already the highest in Canada.

edit: Note: Vince Li, the crazed man that decapitated a bus passenger and ate his eyes and heart, was staying at the centre, but was transferred before my visit.

sounds like a PvP server

but for LARPing
Tonya

Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #206 on: March 18, 2009, 03:09:24 PM »
Better eat something then. Don't want to go fainting in front of fellow lawyers due to malnourishment.

This is true. She'll pick my wallet clean while I'm out. And probably have her way with me, or at least she would if I didn't have a beard.  :'(
AKQ

muckhole

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Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #207 on: March 18, 2009, 03:11:50 PM »
This is true. She'll pick my wallet clean while I'm out. And probably have her way with me, or at least she would if I didn't have a beard.  :'(

You may wake up shaven!

Not sure if that's an uncomfortable thought for you, or just potentially hot, though.
fek

Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #208 on: March 18, 2009, 03:13:18 PM »
My beard is magical: it makes women disappear.  :-\
AKQ

muckhole

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Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #209 on: March 18, 2009, 03:16:37 PM »
Well, you could always chop it off, and maybe try a different hairstyle. If nothing else, you'll be likely to get some kind of reaction from her. If not, just grow it back.
fek

Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #210 on: March 18, 2009, 03:18:02 PM »
Well, you could always chop it off, and maybe try a different hairstyle. If nothing else, you'll be likely to get some kind of reaction from her. If not, just grow it back.

Agreeing with cheebs.  :-\

Now I don't even want to stalk you anymore. You can turn your porchlight off.
AKQ

muckhole

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Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #211 on: March 18, 2009, 03:23:12 PM »
Well, you could always chop it off, and maybe try a different hairstyle. If nothing else, you'll be likely to get some kind of reaction from her. If not, just grow it back.

Agreeing with cheebs.  :-\

Now I don't even want to stalk you anymore. You can turn your porchlight off.

I must have missed that. Regardless, the porch light stays on. You'll come around. They always do.

But seriously, why not? It's a pretty simple experiment, and if it fails you can flex you beard muscle and have it back within 12-24 hours.
I'm not suggesting the beard doesn't work for you, far from it. But you have to admit it would be interesting to see if a couple of changes like that would increase her interactions with you, if only out of satisfying your curiosity.
fek

Reb

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Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #212 on: March 18, 2009, 03:24:49 PM »
Neh, that would force him to face some kind of reality, why would he do that, and actually make some progress?
It's way easier to just hang on to the stupid beard.
brb

Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #213 on: March 18, 2009, 03:26:49 PM »
Muck, the skin underneath my beard has to be a gross shade of pasty white, a color which will contrast with the rest of my sun-burnt face.

Rebiak, I already have a shrink, and White Man plays my shrink on evilbore. I don't want someone who confuses me with Arvie analyzing me!  :maf
« Last Edit: March 18, 2009, 03:29:06 PM by Malek »
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Reb

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Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #214 on: March 18, 2009, 03:29:40 PM »
Ha, it's annoying, not analysing.
brb

muckhole

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Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #215 on: March 18, 2009, 03:31:30 PM »
I hear you. During the summer, I'll get lazy and not shave the head for a few days. Working outside those days results in a much whiter head when I do finally shave it. Thankfully it catches up quickly once I'm back outside.
fek

Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #216 on: March 18, 2009, 03:46:20 PM »
Fuck it! I'm not wearing a suit. Jeans and flannel for me. If they kick me out, all the better.
AKQ

Madrun Badrun

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Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #217 on: March 18, 2009, 04:25:40 PM »
wear a suit.  People will look at your disposition, assume you've just come from a funeral, and then be nice to you.   

My beard is magical: it makes women disappear.  :-\

 :lol
NtGay

Tauntaun

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Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #218 on: March 18, 2009, 04:57:04 PM »
Fuck it! I'm not wearing a suit. Jeans and flannel for me. If they kick me out, all the better.

Isn't that formal attire in Canookie land?  Lumberjack central dude.  Carry an axe too.  :punch
:)

Yeti

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Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #219 on: March 18, 2009, 06:30:31 PM »
Fuck it! I'm not wearing a suit. Jeans and flannel for me. If they kick me out, all the better.

Are you hoping Flannel Girl will start thinking of you as Flannel Guy?
WDW

Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #220 on: March 18, 2009, 07:41:11 PM »
I didn't wear a suit, but neither did any of the other students.

The attorney that reviewed our tape was very attractive. She's got to be in her early 30s and she's already a partner. She said I was pretty good except that I looked down too much and relied on my notes too much. She also said I could use a shave.

AKQ

Madrun Badrun

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Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #221 on: March 18, 2009, 08:06:01 PM »
See. I'm asking for you for next years secret Santa and I'm sending you dog trimmers.  They are cheaper than man trimmers and more reliable.  Plus they do a better job on my tail.   
NtGay

Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #222 on: March 18, 2009, 08:10:04 PM »
Leper Arvie
Ban Malek


Please
AKQ

Boogie

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Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #223 on: March 18, 2009, 08:11:16 PM »
I didn't wear a suit, but neither did any of the other students.

The attorney that reviewed our tape was very attractive. She's got to be in her early 30s and she's already a partner.



I love heading down over to the courthouse.

So many hot lawyer-types there... :hyper

Them and all the circus clowns always make a trip to the courthouse entertaining.
MMA

Madrun Badrun

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Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #224 on: March 18, 2009, 08:13:09 PM »
real talk:  Do you feel better now that you're going to school more often?  I missed the last two days and when I went today my anxiety was absolutely horrible. 
NtGay

Fresh Prince

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Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #225 on: March 18, 2009, 08:22:04 PM »
She also said I could use a shave.
Yeah the universe is telling you something Malek....
888

Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #226 on: March 18, 2009, 08:33:19 PM »
I didn't wear a suit, but neither did any of the other students.

The attorney that reviewed our tape was very attractive. She's got to be in her early 30s and she's already a partner.



I love heading down over to the courthouse.

So many hot lawyer-types there... :hyper

Them and all the circus clowns always make a trip to the courthouse entertaining.

I wasn't at the courthouse today, but yeah. Most female law students are hot. I don't know why that is.
AKQ

Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #227 on: March 18, 2009, 08:34:39 PM »
She also said I could use a shave.
Yeah the universe is telling you something Malek....

I should go gay?
AKQ

Madrun Badrun

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Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #228 on: March 18, 2009, 08:39:02 PM »
Most female law students are hot. I don't know why that is.

Because they understand the importance of proper presentation in their future job?
NtGay

recursivelyenumerable

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Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #229 on: March 18, 2009, 08:42:27 PM »


"Just take a look at your body now/there's nothing much to save/and a bitter voice in the mirror cries/Hey, Prince, you need a shave"
« Last Edit: March 18, 2009, 08:47:36 PM by recursivelyenumerable »
QED

recursivelyenumerable

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Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #230 on: March 18, 2009, 08:46:55 PM »
i like thirtysomething female attorneys too, mostly because they seem to like me
QED

Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #231 on: March 18, 2009, 08:50:46 PM »
i like thirtysomething female attorneys too, mostly because they seem to like me

Yeah, attorneys are pretty good at deception.
AKQ

Fresh Prince

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Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #232 on: March 18, 2009, 08:56:07 PM »
Female lawyers seem to have control issues. They probably think you're easy to push around.
888

Madrun Badrun

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Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #233 on: March 18, 2009, 09:00:40 PM »
Female lawyers seem to have control issues. They probably think you're easy to push around.

He'll show them, when they are waiting in a restaurant holding back the tears, while he is at home debugging line 12884 though 12991.
NtGay

recursivelyenumerable

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Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #234 on: March 18, 2009, 09:05:08 PM »
they mainly seem to want to get me drunk.
QED

Fresh Prince

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Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #235 on: March 18, 2009, 09:06:26 PM »
they mainly seem to want to get me drunk.
See control issues.
888

Madrun Badrun

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Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #236 on: March 18, 2009, 09:07:03 PM »
So you're easier to handcuff and get strap-on'd when she gets you home. 
NtGay

recursivelyenumerable

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Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #237 on: March 18, 2009, 09:20:25 PM »
Pretty much.
QED

Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #238 on: March 18, 2009, 09:22:07 PM »
[youtube=560,345]xJOGq5XTojo[/youtube]

She's the one for me
She's all I really need
Cause she's the one for me
Emptiness is loneliness
and loneliness is cleanliness
And cleanliness is godliness
and god is empty just like me
Intoxicated with the madness
I'm in love with my sadness

AKQ

recursivelyenumerable

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Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #239 on: March 18, 2009, 09:24:37 PM »
that's pretty lame, especially up against the Leonard Cohen song I just posted
QED