Poll

Will I win or lose my moot court case?

Malek will lose
4 (8.3%)
Malek will lose and wet his pants
1 (2.1%)
Malek will lose, wet his pants, and shit his pants
0 (0%)
Malek will lose, wet his pants, shit his pants, and then pass out
2 (4.2%)
Malek will lose, wet his pants, shit his pants, and pass out. Then Flannel Girl will laugh at him, go home, and have sex with a real man.
18 (37.5%)
Malek won't even show up, lolz.
12 (25%)
Malek won't even show up after hanging himself using his own necktie.
2 (4.2%)
Malek will be awesome. He'll then take on Ichirou as a client and sue the pants off of mupepe.
9 (18.8%)

Total Members Voted: 43

Author Topic: Malek's Diary-ah  (Read 49198 times)

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Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #240 on: March 18, 2009, 09:25:15 PM »
that's pretty lame, especially up against the Leonard Cohen song I just posted

Whose diary-uh is this?
AKQ

recursivelyenumerable

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Re: tennin's Diary-ah
« Reply #241 on: March 18, 2009, 09:31:39 PM »
I'm taking over.
QED

Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #242 on: March 18, 2009, 09:38:11 PM »
You're not a female lawyer; you can't control me.
AKQ

Fresh Prince

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Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #243 on: March 18, 2009, 09:38:55 PM »
Stalking girls in flannel > girls in leather taking you home.
« Last Edit: March 18, 2009, 09:41:13 PM by Fresh Prince »
888

bud

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Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #244 on: March 18, 2009, 09:39:32 PM »
[youtube=560,345]H6Dg1Ymji-Q[/youtube]

I'll be your dream
I'll be your wish
I'll be your fantasy.
I'll be your hope
I'll be your love
Be everything that you need.
I love you more with every breath
Truly madly deeply do..
I will be strong I will be faithful
'Cos I'm counting on a new beginning.
A reason for living.
A deeper meaning.


zzz

Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #245 on: March 18, 2009, 09:40:58 PM »
Girls in flannel > girls in leather.

the lawyer was wearing long leather boots. So hot! and she had on a tiny skirt. yummmmy

She will now be known as Ms. Leather Boots; I can't think of nicknames that don't involve clothing.
AKQ

Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #246 on: March 18, 2009, 09:43:26 PM »
by the way, I learned yesterday that Flannel Girl is an anarchist. Anarchists have got to love beards, right? Down with society's grooming rules!

And that's super gay, Bud.
AKQ

bud

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Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #247 on: March 18, 2009, 09:43:59 PM »
i used to have an extremely hot chinese teacher with an amazing body in my first year omg
she was 26 and had an amazing body. after the semester had ended, she asked all of us to take a picture together.

i got to stand right next to her

i still remember her smell

edit: a bit older rofl
zzz

Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #248 on: March 18, 2009, 09:46:05 PM »
Bud, SMH
AKQ

Boogie

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Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #249 on: March 18, 2009, 09:47:16 PM »
by the way, I learned yesterday that Flannel Girl is an anarchist. Anarchists have got to love beards, right? Down with society's grooming rules!



naw, that probably means she's a lesbian.
MMA

Fresh Prince

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Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #250 on: March 18, 2009, 09:48:14 PM »
by the way, I learned yesterday that Flannel Girl is an anarchist. Anarchists have got to love beards, right? Down with society's grooming rules!



naw, that probably means she's a lesbian.
Damit that's what I was going to say and she prolly has a hairy muff.
888

Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #251 on: March 18, 2009, 09:53:54 PM »
by the way, I learned yesterday that Flannel Girl is an anarchist. Anarchists have got to love beards, right? Down with society's grooming rules!



naw, that probably means she's a lesbian.

bu-bu-bu-bu-but she's so fuckin' hot.
AKQ

Yeti

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Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #252 on: March 18, 2009, 10:21:05 PM »
by the way, I learned yesterday that Flannel Girl is an anarchist. Anarchists have got to love beards, right? Down with society's grooming rules!

And that's super gay, Bud.

Uh, what? Doesn't that mean she wants to put herself out of a job?  ???
WDW

Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #253 on: March 18, 2009, 10:29:04 PM »
by the way, I learned yesterday that Flannel Girl is an anarchist. Anarchists have got to love beards, right? Down with society's grooming rules!

And that's super gay, Bud.

Uh, what? Doesn't that mean she wants to put herself out of a job?  ???

Well, she realizes that her misguided ideals are unrealizable, and is instead trying to change the system from the inside. At least that's what Ms. Know-It-All, the one that doesn't like facial hair, told me.

I'm going to have to keep these nicknames straight.
AKQ

Fresh Prince

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Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #254 on: March 18, 2009, 10:31:51 PM »
I thought you were going with pieces of clothing *smh*
888

recursivelyenumerable

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Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #255 on: March 18, 2009, 10:32:03 PM »
I'm down with anarchism.  Hook her up with me.
QED

Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #256 on: March 18, 2009, 10:34:12 PM »
I thought you were going with pieces of clothing *smh*
She doesn't wear anything interesting.

I'm down with anarchism.  Hook her up with me.
You wouldn't even show up for the date.
AKQ

Fresh Prince

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Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #257 on: March 18, 2009, 10:35:57 PM »
I thought you were going with pieces of clothing *smh*
She doesn't wear anything interesting.

Ms. Plain

Was that so hard?
888

Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #258 on: March 18, 2009, 10:37:34 PM »
zzzzzzz

you suck at nicknames


AKQ

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Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #259 on: March 18, 2009, 11:41:51 PM »
Girls in flannel > girls in leather.

the lawyer was wearing long leather boots. So hot! and she had on a tiny skirt. yummmmy

She will now be known as Ms. Leather Boots; I can't think of nicknames that don't involve clothing.

This adds to my theory that you prefer women clothed.


 Because you like men. 
NtGay

Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #260 on: March 19, 2009, 12:00:31 AM »

This adds to my theory that you prefer women clothed.


 Because you like men. 

It's not what I prefer; it's what I get.

AKQ

Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #261 on: March 19, 2009, 01:28:01 AM »
WTF

I was actually thinking of going to class tomorrow, but it's been canceled because of workshops by the the Women's Court of Canada who will be reconsidering Supreme Court decisions from a female perspective. I don't think they're aware that there isn't a single female perspective nor are they aware that the current Chief Justice, along with 4/9ths of the Court, is female.


Whatever.
AKQ

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Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #262 on: March 19, 2009, 01:34:29 AM »
 :lol :lol :lol
NtGay

Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #263 on: March 19, 2009, 01:39:41 AM »
"Layla," a song about unrequited love, seems perfect:

[youtube=560,345]fX5USg8_1gA[/youtube]

Let's make the best of the situation
Before I finally go insane.
Please don't say we'll never find a way
And tell me all my love's in vain.

AKQ

Fresh Prince

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Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #264 on: March 19, 2009, 01:43:33 AM »
Somewhere, out there, Flannel Girl is listening too. :heart
888

Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #265 on: March 19, 2009, 01:45:46 AM »
Somewhere, out there, Flannel Girl is listening too. :heart

Yeah, listening to it in her flannel covered bed while getting railed by some good looking, cleanly-shaven, Hugo Boss wearing, male law student that actually goes to class.


 :'(
AKQ

recursivelyenumerable

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Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #266 on: March 19, 2009, 01:50:59 AM »
Quote
Yeah, listening to it in her flannel covered bed while getting railed by some good looking, cleanly-shaven, Hugo Boss wearing, male law student that actually goes to class.


 Cry

if you really loved her, thinking about her pleasure would make you happy not sad.   :wag
QED

Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #267 on: March 19, 2009, 01:54:25 AM »
1. I never said that the good looking, cleanly-shaven, Hugo Boss wearing, male law student that actually goes to class was good in the sack.

2. Normal humans, and you might not know this because you probably have Asperger's syndrome, feel jealous from time to time.
« Last Edit: March 19, 2009, 01:57:13 AM by Malek »
AKQ

Fresh Prince

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Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #268 on: March 19, 2009, 02:02:15 AM »
God dammit Malek shave your beard and get laid ffs.
888

Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #269 on: March 19, 2009, 02:05:00 AM »
And when I shave my beard and am still unable to get laid, what excuse will I be able trot out?
AKQ

Fresh Prince

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Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #270 on: March 19, 2009, 02:13:25 AM »
I give up. Join the Jesuits?
888

Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #271 on: March 19, 2009, 02:36:58 AM »
[youtube=560,345]Ne6ZZTfiQAw[/youtube]

I want you
I want you so bad
I want you
I want you so bad
It's driving me mad, it's driving me mad.
AKQ

Ganhyun

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Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #272 on: March 19, 2009, 10:32:49 AM »
I bet flannel girl has been thinking: "If only that guy would shave his beard then I'd rape him because I know he wants some." this whole time.

XDF

Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #273 on: March 19, 2009, 10:56:15 AM »
I bet flannel girl has been thinking: "If only that guy would shave his beard then I'd rape him because I know he wants some." this whole time.



or "why does that poindexter keep looking at me. it wouldn't be so bad, but he's drooling, too . . . and all over his disgusting beard."
AKQ

Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #274 on: March 19, 2009, 12:40:14 PM »
What does everyone think about my new Lennon avatar?

Awesome or super-awesome?
AKQ

Diunx

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Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #275 on: March 19, 2009, 12:44:23 PM »
Super-awesome.
Drunk

muckhole

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Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #276 on: March 19, 2009, 01:32:57 PM »
I can't help but notice you went with the clean-shaven Lennon as opposed to the bearded one. Potential foreshadowing?
fek

Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #277 on: March 19, 2009, 01:38:12 PM »
I can't help but notice you went with the clean-shaven Lennon as opposed to the bearded one. Potential foreshadowing?
He could pull off a beard, too.



AKQ

muckhole

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Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #278 on: March 19, 2009, 01:41:09 PM »
I only tease. You look fine with a beard too, Malek.
fek

Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #279 on: March 19, 2009, 01:42:14 PM »
Turn the porch light back on.
AKQ

muckhole

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Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #280 on: March 19, 2009, 01:44:08 PM »
It was never off, love-chop.
fek

Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #281 on: March 19, 2009, 09:41:04 PM »


[youtube=560,345]5dzjbj7451g[/youtube]

Woman I know you understand
The little child inside the man
Please remember my life is in your hands
And woman hold me close to your heart
However distant don't keep us apart
« Last Edit: March 19, 2009, 09:49:32 PM by Malek »
AKQ

Don Flamenco

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Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #282 on: March 19, 2009, 10:19:10 PM »
Filing a new case at the Cook County Chancery division had me reconsidering this whole law thing. 

*Waits 45 minutes in line*
"Oh, this needs to be stapled, we don't have a stapler big enough for it here.  Sorry, bye."

*Runs across the street to 47th floor office where the stapler is*
*Runs back and waits 45 minutes in line*

"Oh, you don't have the cover sheet, it should only take a minute to fill out...which you can do over there. NEXT!"

*Waits 30 minutes in line*
*Spends less than a minute filling out a form*

"Here's your stuff, go to the Motion desk for your judge and room...oh right, they closed! Sorry! Bye!"


I thought they were bad in suburbs where I usually have to file stuff, but these chicks were brutal. 

oh and I'm not quitting because when I practice my lackeys will do this shit.
« Last Edit: March 19, 2009, 10:21:36 PM by Kranz Fafka »

Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #283 on: March 19, 2009, 10:25:45 PM »
As an associate, you'll have to do a lot of the boring grunt work.
AKQ

Eric P

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Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #284 on: March 19, 2009, 10:28:56 PM »
What does everyone think about my new Lennon avatar?

Awesome or super-awesome?
Who is Lennon?

dictator

Tonya

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Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #285 on: March 19, 2009, 11:07:02 PM »
I thought he was Malek's fantasy alter ego.
NtGay

Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #286 on: March 19, 2009, 11:10:45 PM »
He was a little known member of Ringo Starr's band, the Beatles.
AKQ

Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #287 on: March 19, 2009, 11:17:43 PM »
[youtube=560,345]Zzq5X-p2C0Y[/youtube]

I'm crazy for trying and crazy for crying
And I'm crazy for loving you.
AKQ

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Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #288 on: March 19, 2009, 11:21:59 PM »
and you're also crazy because you are crazy. 
NtGay

Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #289 on: March 19, 2009, 11:24:00 PM »
and you're also crazy because you are crazy. 

 :cancry
AKQ

Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #290 on: March 19, 2009, 11:24:19 PM »
I need a xanax
AKQ

Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #291 on: March 19, 2009, 11:36:15 PM »
[youtube=560,345]1H5yOfRG-RE[/youtube]

Because we live in a house of mirrors
We see our fears and everything
Our songs, faces, and second hand clothes
But more and more we're suffering
Not nobody, not a thousand beers
Will keep us from feeling so all alone

I'm fraudulent, a thief at best
A coward who paints a bullshit canvas
Things that will never happen to me
But at arms length, it's Tim who said
I'm good at it, I've mastered it
Avoiding, avoiding everything

But you are what you love
And not what loves you back
And I'm in love with illusions

So saw me in half
I'm in love with tricks
So pull another rabbit out of your hat
AKQ

Fresh Prince

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Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #292 on: March 20, 2009, 12:09:42 AM »
Malek you could always be gay with FoC, I mean he looks like Lennon. Maybe his grilfriend will join in as well?
888

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Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #293 on: March 20, 2009, 12:31:24 AM »
I need a xanax

I can give you an ambien or 3, honeynuts.
serge

Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #294 on: March 20, 2009, 01:36:06 AM »
Sounds like a trick to get my address.
AKQ

Ganhyun

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Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #295 on: March 20, 2009, 12:00:39 PM »
Sounds like a trick to get my address.

well obviously. He wants to get your address and kidnap you and bring you back to the dumpster.
XDF

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Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #296 on: March 20, 2009, 03:50:45 PM »
I hope malek gives up the address.  With him gone I would have room to grow here.  I really can't keep on being confused with a Beatles lover. 
NtGay

Reb

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Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #297 on: March 20, 2009, 03:53:31 PM »
Why don't you guys just share an account?

Father_Malek
brb

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Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #298 on: March 20, 2009, 04:53:30 PM »
well it is double the chance that both of us will be banned. 

Plus then I get to read all of Malek's PM -- the ones I have sent to him.
NtGay

Re: Malek's Diary-ah
« Reply #299 on: March 20, 2009, 08:47:53 PM »
for Flannel Girl:

[youtube=560,345]sm86Xzny1qg[/youtube]

I get high when i see you go by
My oh my.
When you sigh, my, my inside just flies,
Butterflies
Why am i so shy when i'm beside you?
It's only love and that is all,
Why should i feel the way i do?
It's only love, and that is all,
But it's so hard loving you.
AKQ