Today was my grandma's birthday so we drove down to Detroit for the party. She's slowing down but is still very active, sharp, and snarky as ever. While defending Kwame Kilpatrick she dropped the f bomb about three times as everyone looked around shocked lol
My granddad is the exact opposite. He's about 86 and in horrible condition. I've run into many older folks throughout the years yet haven't met one as physically depleted as him. He lies in bed 22 hours a day, only coming downstairs to eat. Their house is horrible for older people: the kitchen is on the first floor, and 15 stairs separate it from the second floor - which he has to sit down and scoot up/down one at a time. The bathroom has a tub, no shower, so he has to sit in it/get out every time he wants to take a bath. Yet they refuse to move to a more accessible place. I've seen him come down the stairs pretty quickly, but it's obvious it's a huge strain on him.
He worked at Ford's plant for like 40 years, and worked construction for 25 years - he gets two pensions. In fact both of my grandparents are essentially rich yet still live in an area of Detroit that's horrible today. His health insurance is so good he could have a nurse and nutritionist come out for free every day, but he refuses, and instead prefers to complain about how he needs to go to the doctor, but when we tell him we're scheduling an appointment he says he won't go.
Once we were about to leave we decided to help him back up the stairs since it was getting dark, and the power was out on their block. He wanted to just crawl up the stairs, using his knees to get up each one. He was on the first step for about 10 minutes as we tried helping him. My cousin, who lives with my grandparents and takes care of them, told us not to help him because he just wants "the attention" and wants people to pamper him. I was like "wtf" at first, but I wound up getting frustrated and decided to go on the porch, and everyone else left my granddad too. I came back 5 minutes later and saw he had gotten all the way to the top of the stairs when no one was looking. I got a flashlight and went up the stairs to give him better light, and he immediately stopped progressing and asked me to help him; it was obvious he wanted to stall us from leaving. Even though I knew my cousin was right, I couldn't just leave my granddad on the last step. So I helped him up and he immediately crawled onto the floor a few inches from the door to his room and laid down. I tried helping him for a couple more minutes but it was obvious he wasn't trying to get into the room. By that time my grandma came by and was like "let him get in himself, he's wasting your time." So I told him we had to leave, told him I loved him, and left.
It felt shitty just leaving him in that position, but at the same time he stopped working the minute anyone tried helping him or even watched him.
