Author Topic: eating butthole for the first time need advice  (Read 22593 times)

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eating butthole for the first time need advice
« on: March 22, 2012, 12:42:14 AM »
:nsfware "pre-game" moist wipes fair game? i do not want to be rude. i just want to lick in and around an asshole to the best of my ability.
:nsfw

Shadow Mod

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Re: eating butthole for the first time need advice
« Reply #1 on: March 22, 2012, 12:43:37 AM »
Wait you can marquee on the bore?

:yuck
omg fuck yes

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Re: eating butthole for the first time need advice
« Reply #2 on: March 22, 2012, 12:44:47 AM »
i just want it to be more  :P than  >:( :yuck :maf.

MrAngryFace

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Re: eating butthole for the first time need advice
« Reply #3 on: March 22, 2012, 12:45:33 AM »
hahaha "hold it babe, gettin some wipes. stay sexy"
o_0

MrAngryFace

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Re: eating butthole for the first time need advice
« Reply #4 on: March 22, 2012, 12:46:10 AM »
go in there with a lobster bib
o_0

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Re: eating butthole for the first time need advice
« Reply #5 on: March 22, 2012, 12:47:12 AM »
the wipes would be in a predetermined neutral zone i.e. not the bathroom.. in the same drawer as i keep the condoms. what i want to know is whether or not it's insulting to bust one out before i eat the ass.

MrAngryFace

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Re: eating butthole for the first time need advice
« Reply #6 on: March 22, 2012, 12:48:38 AM »
You could just have sex in the shower
o_0

Madrun Badrun

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Re: eating butthole for the first time need advice
« Reply #7 on: March 22, 2012, 12:51:21 AM »
Hide a wipe in your mouth, position it over your tongue for the first lick, spit it under the bed real cool like.
NtGay

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Re: eating butthole for the first time need advice
« Reply #8 on: March 22, 2012, 12:51:25 AM »
someone correct me here, but is the tongue supposed to enter the butthole? AFAIK the butthole does not have a clitoris or glans to focus on

Bebpo

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Re: eating butthole for the first time need advice
« Reply #9 on: March 22, 2012, 12:54:37 AM »
You could just have sex in the shower

But then you could slip and break your back and you'd have to tell your grandkids you were crippled eating butt.

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Re: eating butthole for the first time need advice
« Reply #10 on: March 22, 2012, 12:55:50 AM »
yeah i don't really want to get into it, but the logistics of eating ass in my shower just don't work out.

Dickie Dee

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Re: eating butthole for the first time need advice
« Reply #11 on: March 22, 2012, 12:59:14 AM »
Do it with jelly or syrup, I prefer syrup.
___

Smooth Groove

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Re: eating butthole for the first time need advice
« Reply #12 on: March 22, 2012, 12:59:55 AM »
Stick in a finger first to see if there's any brown.  I haven't done it before but that seems obvious.  Also, insist that she shave all hairs if she hasn't already. 

The Sceneman

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Re: eating butthole for the first time need advice
« Reply #13 on: March 22, 2012, 01:01:30 AM »
go in there with a lobster bib

:rofl

anyway if you are going to give your special someone a rimjob I find it helps to get pretty drunk beforehand
#1

The Sceneman

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Re: eating butthole for the first time need advice
« Reply #14 on: March 22, 2012, 01:03:34 AM »
nvm tmi
« Last Edit: March 22, 2012, 01:26:51 AM by The Sceneman »
#1

Exodust

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Re: eating butthole for the first time need advice
« Reply #15 on: March 22, 2012, 01:05:08 AM »
Since most of what comes out of your mouth is oral diarrhea I think you'll be fine.
\m/

Robo

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Re: eating butthole for the first time need advice
« Reply #16 on: March 22, 2012, 01:12:56 AM »
Clearly you came to the right place to ask this question.
obo

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Re: eating butthole for the first time need advice
« Reply #17 on: March 22, 2012, 01:13:03 AM »
uncalled for. you've never heard my voice nor is "oral diarrhea" even the preferred phrasing of your clever insult. So start talking asshole or leave.

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Re: eating butthole for the first time need advice
« Reply #18 on: March 22, 2012, 01:14:22 AM »
now I can't stop thinking about "oral diarrhea"

Momo

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Re: eating butthole for the first time need advice
« Reply #19 on: March 22, 2012, 01:15:21 AM »
Some sort of mints would be handy to keep around just in case.

Human Snorenado

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Re: eating butthole for the first time need advice
« Reply #20 on: March 22, 2012, 01:18:59 AM »
Some sort of mints would be handy to keep around just in case.

Yeah, try shoving them in the asshole in question, then shake them for like a minute.  Problem solved.
yar

Human Snorenado

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Re: eating butthole for the first time need advice
« Reply #21 on: March 22, 2012, 01:27:59 AM »
I dunno, wouldn't you need like an enema bag to reliably get listerine in someone's asshole?  A funnel at the very least.
yar

Cindi Mayweather

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Re: eating butthole for the first time need advice
« Reply #22 on: March 22, 2012, 01:28:25 AM »
So you're keen on trying chitlins, eh?
幻想水滸伝

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Re: eating butthole for the first time need advice
« Reply #23 on: March 22, 2012, 01:31:44 AM »
listen i don't want to get into weird butthole stuff, i just want to pleasure my partner.

Cindi Mayweather

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Re: eating butthole for the first time need advice
« Reply #24 on: March 22, 2012, 01:32:19 AM »
Turkey basters are a good multi-use tool. You could use it like a dildo after the rim job too.
幻想水滸伝

Cindi Mayweather

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Re: eating butthole for the first time need advice
« Reply #25 on: March 22, 2012, 01:33:00 AM »
listen i don't want to get into weird butthole stuff, i just want to pleasure my partner.

wait until tomorrow for a serious reply from mupepe
幻想水滸伝

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Re: eating butthole for the first time need advice
« Reply #26 on: March 22, 2012, 01:33:35 AM »
i'm not prepared to baste anything in my bedroom.

Cindi Mayweather

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Re: eating butthole for the first time need advice
« Reply #27 on: March 22, 2012, 01:35:08 AM »
i'm not prepared to baste anything in my bedroom.

don't do it in the kitchen, that's how you get ants.
幻想水滸伝

Re: eating butthole for the first time need advice
« Reply #28 on: March 22, 2012, 01:35:13 AM »
What kind of wine does with that, Billy?
AKQ

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Re: eating butthole for the first time need advice
« Reply #29 on: March 22, 2012, 01:36:17 AM »
Thank You Baste God

Momo

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Re: eating butthole for the first time need advice
« Reply #30 on: March 22, 2012, 01:40:11 AM »
Suddenly im reminded I used to sit next to a kid that ate paste in woodshop

MrAngryFace

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Re: eating butthole for the first time need advice
« Reply #31 on: March 22, 2012, 01:42:31 AM »
listen i don't want to get into weird butthole stuff, i just want to pleasure my partner.

Quote of the night
o_0

Shadow Mod

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Re: eating butthole for the first time need advice
« Reply #32 on: March 22, 2012, 01:50:42 AM »
Use wetnaps if you can't make your partner shower first. Problem solved.

Momo

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Re: eating butthole for the first time need advice
« Reply #33 on: March 22, 2012, 01:53:21 AM »
No one is surprised buttholes remind you of sticky white fluid.
Damn straight

Cindi Mayweather

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Re: eating butthole for the first time need advice
« Reply #34 on: March 22, 2012, 01:56:59 AM »
listen i don't want to get into weird butthole stuff, i just want to pleasure my partner.

Quote of the night
newsfeed.

.
幻想水滸伝

Timedog

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Re: eating butthole for the first time need advice
« Reply #35 on: March 22, 2012, 01:59:31 AM »
Wait, is this the forum where I can make the threads the GAF would never allow?
:maf
edit: is Count Drugula the Australian electronic musician SPOD?
dix

Cindi Mayweather

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Re: eating butthole for the first time need advice
« Reply #36 on: March 22, 2012, 02:13:30 AM »
count dragula is wrath2x

and yes, you can post threads gaf would never allow
幻想水滸伝

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Re: eating butthole for the first time need advice
« Reply #37 on: March 22, 2012, 02:32:07 AM »
Way to sell out, stringer bell.

Enl

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Re: eating butthole for the first time need advice
« Reply #38 on: March 22, 2012, 03:30:05 AM »
Smear it with chocolate and dive on in.
mmm

Phoenix Dark

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Re: eating butthole for the first time need advice
« Reply #39 on: March 22, 2012, 03:50:07 AM »
Fuck wipes, I'm not touching it unless I spray some Fabreeze in it
010

Boogie

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Re: eating butthole for the first time need advice
« Reply #40 on: March 22, 2012, 08:55:29 AM »
Wait, is this the forum where I can make the threads the GAF would never allow?
:maf

For you?  No.
MMA

BlueTsunami

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Re: eating butthole for the first time need advice
« Reply #41 on: March 22, 2012, 08:58:51 AM »
Pre-rim the butthole with juicy apple chapstick
:9

Reb

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Re: eating butthole for the first time need advice
« Reply #42 on: March 22, 2012, 09:12:48 AM »
don't fight it; just rim the corn
brb

Eel O'Brian

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Re: eating butthole for the first time need advice
« Reply #43 on: March 22, 2012, 09:43:20 AM »
don't chew
sup

bud

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Re: eating butthole for the first time need advice
« Reply #44 on: March 22, 2012, 10:26:20 AM »
guys, how do you go down on a girl?
zzz

Mupepe

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Re: eating butthole for the first time need advice
« Reply #45 on: March 22, 2012, 10:32:36 AM »
someone correct me here, but is the tongue supposed to enter the butthole? AFAIK the butthole does not have a clitoris or glans to focus on
If you go looking for gold, you'll probably find it.  Keep that in mind.


Re: eating butthole for the first time need advice
« Reply #46 on: March 22, 2012, 10:34:40 AM »
Wear a condom on your tongue.
ǚ

Brehvolution

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Re: eating butthole for the first time need advice
« Reply #47 on: March 22, 2012, 10:58:52 AM »
If you want a test drive without the fecal matter, put your tongue on a 9 volt battery.
©ZH

bork

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Re: eating butthole for the first time need advice
« Reply #48 on: March 22, 2012, 11:02:08 AM »
Do it with jelly or syrup, I prefer syrup.

ど助平

MyNameIsMethodis

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Re: eating butthole for the first time need advice
« Reply #49 on: March 22, 2012, 11:19:28 AM »
Stick ur dick in first so that when u eat ull have a familiar taste
USA

Re: eating butthole for the first time need advice
« Reply #50 on: March 22, 2012, 01:01:57 PM »
Based on the title, I thought this was going to be another Taco Bell thread.

BlueTsunami

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Re: eating butthole for the first time need advice
« Reply #51 on: March 22, 2012, 01:02:26 PM »
If her butthole puckers and spasms, bail out
:9

Shaka Khan

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Re: eating butthole for the first time need advice
« Reply #52 on: March 22, 2012, 01:04:59 PM »
Yeah, just remember its a rimjob, stay outta the danger zone.

I went a couple of times into the danger zone. It wasn't bad, then again it was clean.
Unzip

demi

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Re: eating butthole for the first time need advice
« Reply #53 on: March 22, 2012, 01:13:47 PM »
You're not really supposed to dive right in. Just tease it.
fat

Mupepe

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Re: eating butthole for the first time need advice
« Reply #54 on: March 22, 2012, 01:17:08 PM »
Yeah, just remember its a rimjob, stay outta the danger zone.

I went a couple of times into the danger zone. It wasn't bad, then again it was clean.
There's nothing wrong with it in most cases.  But it's like going to Mexico and being surprised when you see a Mexican.  What the hell did you expect sticking your tongue in there?

Robo

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Re: eating butthole for the first time need advice
« Reply #55 on: March 22, 2012, 01:18:58 PM »
Based on the title, I thought this was going to be another Taco Bell thread.

Same advice both ways: wash it down with a cup of Baja Blast.
obo

Shaka Khan

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Re: eating butthole for the first time need advice
« Reply #56 on: March 22, 2012, 01:39:41 PM »
You're not really supposed to dive right in. Just tease it.

That's usually what goes down 90% of the time... But there are times when you just want to tongue-fuck.

It curiosity man, I've stuck my tongue in(to) more hazardous places (power sockets, freezers, coal, etc).
Unzip

Bebpo

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Re: eating butthole for the first time need advice
« Reply #57 on: March 22, 2012, 02:31:32 PM »
This thread kind of makes me want to throw up :(  I am not good with grosssssness

Hell I don't even like the whole naked aspect of sex, because sweat + skin smells gross, especially when you add in juices  :yuck


But then, I am OCD about cleanliness.

BlueTsunami

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Re: eating butthole for the first time need advice
« Reply #58 on: March 22, 2012, 02:36:05 PM »
Bebpo fucks through the boxer dickhole confirmed
:9

Bebpo

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Re: eating butthole for the first time need advice
« Reply #59 on: March 22, 2012, 02:40:30 PM »
No, I get naked like everyone else.  I just don't enjoy it very much.  I find the actual act of sex pretty gross.  But I like the passion and emotion side. 

That's why I probably wouldn't enjoy a hooker.