Necessary conditions for a "rape" to be a rape:
1. It must take place in a dark alley between the hours of 11 PM and 3 AM. Fewer than two incandescent lights per 20 ft may be present
2. The alley in question may not have been visited by the victim more than five times, lifetime
3. The victim must be a woman
4. The victim must be able to pass a field sobriety test and their blood/hair results must come back negative for any illicit materials
5. It must be verified on camera (with sound) that the (potential) perpetrator was rejected no fewer than three times verbally
6. A gun must be used
7. The victim must immediately seeks aftercare
8. The victim may not have spent more than four hours, lifetime, in the presence of her (alleged) rapist
If your rape does not include all of these elements, was it really rape? Ask yourself this: didn't you want it? Deep down, don't you know that you wanted it and are only trying to get out of being a slut now? Or are you just trying to make a quick buck? I rest my case.
Coincidentally this is how you evolve at least like five Pokemon in the X/Y series
