It's 20XX and people are mad online about Star War!

[Uncle]

yet baby yoder took over the internet for at least an entire year

hell chernobyl random tv series was in 2019 and I saw a shitload of "not great, not terrible" references ever since

[Nintex]

yet baby yoder took over the internet for at least an entire year

hell chernobyl random tv series was in 2019 and I saw a shitload of "not great, not terrible" references ever since

Yes in our bubble, but there are plenty of bubles that have seen both.

[naff]

You think Padme and Jar Jar ever banged?

god I hope so

i believe this was added in the dvd extras for The Phantom Edit

[naff]

https://twitter.com/AlpacaQueers/status/1320141200796618752

[Don Rumata]

Don is gonna be real happy to know the Rangers of the New Republic show has been aborted

Gina Carano can do good!

[Raist]

https://collider.com/jj-abrams-star-wars-sequel-trilogy-plan-comments/

"I do think that there’s nothing more important than knowing where you’re going.”

You'd think he would have learned after Lost

[Great Rumbler]

I wouldn't put all the blame on JJ, though he certainly does have to take some. I'd put most of it on Lucasfilm, who brought in 3 different directors/writers [but later ditched one to bring JJ back] and let them just do whatever they wanted with seemingly no clue how the three movies would end up fitting together.

[MMaRsu]

Yeah but what about Lost tho 

[Don Rumata]

I refuse to believe dozens people spent hundreds of millions on this without an ironclad plan for the whole trilogy.
Even though the proof is in front of us, of course.

[Potato]

It's amazing, isn't it?

Especially since they had a very clear blueprint to work from with the success of the MCU.

[bork]

[Ghoul]

This latest article "We should have planned out star wars" NO FUCKING SHIT DUMMIES.

https://collider.com/jj-abrams-star-wars-sequel-trilogy-plan-comments/

[Ghoul]

gonna have a bit of a special fellow about star wars, no I will not be getting banned because I'm calling out others families. My issue with the latest bunch of films was just the timing of them, they went for the whole everyone is included now YAY! You can be of any race and religion and still be a good or bad guy, now that isn't exactly what I take issue with, but basically they went for the stan culture of online culture to basically use as a integral part of the new fan base so they could get away with doing a shitty job, because then no matter how fucked the films are you will have this new wave marvel group onboard to just lap up the shit and buy the toys and die on the hill of these absolutely shit movies.  Also at a time when EVERYTHING is super political and you're either a soyboy or nazi and that translates a lot to this die on a hill, if you hate them then clearly you are some sort of racist....

I cannot believe some people are like wow these movies are the best of the bunch, like shit the prequals sucked, but this sucked in a whole different way. Now you have people who are in charge of the whole multi billion dollar franchise like, "Oh shit should have really planned this out" NO WAY, SHOCKING, I do not and cannot understand how the same company that has made what a 20+ movie timeline drop the ball so hard on what could have been also a 20+ film franchise, star wars is fucking basic as hell, like it's very broke when it comes to ideas, they just use nostalgia to just push the new stuff forward, whilst at the same time forgetting what the hell made that stuff so important in the first place. I'm off to heal myself with some force powers now.

The only highlight for me was Kylo dying the way he did and pissing off the weird as fuck reylo shipping fans,

[Nintex]

The fans
"Maybe Obi Wan Kenobi is connected to Rey somehow, perhaps the dream sequence was actually a flashback into the past or Snoke using mind control powers. Who is Snoke anyway?"

  "If you count the markings on his lightsaber you can clearly see he is a descendant of Darth Maul. Disney leaves nothing to chance. Kathleen Kennedy is micro managing this to minute detail to make sure the story is preserved the way Lucas envisioned and they don't make the same mistake he did with the prequels. Boy I can't wait to see how they tie this all together with the love and care of the Disney film making crew."


Meanwhile at the corporation
  "Those are some nice effects JJ, I love the lasers more than Trevorrow's, can you release it by Christmas if we do 80 hour shifts at the CG farm and put everyone in front of the green screen today to shoot the 5 different endings?"

"By the way Lucy from administration has a nice rack she can play the bounty hunter in the reshoots. Just keep the helmet on and they won't even know it isn't Keri"

"Great idea Mike, give her $100 and make sure she signs an NDA. God I love making movies"

[Potato]

The fans
"Maybe Obi Wan Kenobi is connected to Rey somehow, perhaps the dream sequence was actually a flashback into the past or Snoke using mind control powers. Who is Snoke anyway?"

  "If you count the markings on his lightsaber you can clearly see he is a descendant of Darth Maul. Disney leaves nothing to chance. Kathleen Kennedy is micro managing this to minute detail to make sure the story is preserved the way Lucas envisioned and they don't make the same mistake he did with the prequels. Boy I can't wait to see how they tie this all together with the love and care of the Disney film making crew."


Meanwhile at the corporation
  "Those are some nice effects JJ, I love the lasers more than Trevorrow's, can you release it by Christmas if we do 80 hour shifts at the CG farm and put everyone in front of the green screen today to shoot the 5 different endings?"

"By the way Lucy from administration has a nice rack she can play the bounty hunter in the reshoots. Just keep the helmet on and they won't even know it isn't Keri"

"Great idea Mike, give her $100 and make sure she signs an NDA. God I love making movies"

This hurts because it's true.

[Uncle]

it doesn't hurt because nothing in any way related to star wars should ever hurt

[Human Snorenado]

I mean it hurts in the way all Nintex posts do

[chronovore]

https://www.reddit.com/r/StarWars/comments/o49cc8/based_on_an_old_post_from_rmovies_and_a_comment/

[chronovore]

Follow-up:
https://www.reddit.com/r/StarWars/comments/o4vdj8/now_this_is_pod_racing/

[Don Rumata]

There's another TV show idea for Disney!
A show all focused on Pod racing and Sebulba's origin story.

[Joe Molotov]

How about a depressing drama about Watto and the human trafficking trade on Tatooine?

[Nintex]

Senate of Cards 
Political drama about the events that lead to the trade dispute with Naboo.


The Freighter
Sitcom about a rebel alliance freighter crew up to no good in the galaxy far away


The Hutts
Soprnanos-like crime drama about the exploits of the Hutt family.


Jedi Babies
Cartoon about the Jedi younglings that Anakin later kills

[team filler]

star war always head the dumbest ideas, they were just executed better and had yet to become pop culture.


leia is lewks sister. vader is his father. chewbacca 

[team filler]

I've stroked my fat hog to better scenarios than this chit

[Mostima]

I am thankful that the sequel trilogy was shitty enough that no kid watching them today will grow up to be a Star Wars man-child.

[team filler]

chewbacca is one of the most ridiculous characters of all time. think space ball covered this well enough

[Raist]

[Nintex]

It's one of the most garbage plots of all time.

[Joe Molotov]

Is this from the Fortnite strategy guide?

[Don Rumata]

The font looks like something you'd find bundled with a cereal box toy.
The plot is worse than that tho.

[Tuckers Law]

You know, sometimes I get a little down when thinking about the direction Star Trek has been taken into, and all of the missed opportunity with that much production money and effort in the mix.

Then I get reminded of where Star Wars is at, and it really brightens my mood.  I don’t know that someone could fuck things up worse if they were actively trying to make it bad.

[Nintex]

J.J. and the cast phoned it in and then Disney panicked and butchered it in editing so they could squeeze out as many screenings as possible because they had toys to sell.

[Potato]

It's one of the most garbage plots of all time.

There's shitty fan fiction from 14-year-olds that I've never read which I'm sure is better than what these idiots came up with.

[chronovore]

That kid’s book retcon exposes just how garbage the whole thing is.

I saw the first film in theaters when I was nine years old, in 1977. It was nearly a religious experience for me. I began collecting the TOPP’S trading cards for it, and on the back of Darth Vader‘s TIE fighter card, it made an oblique reference to “next year‘s model.“ This was enough for me to get excited about the possibility of a sequel.

When episode V ESB launched three years later, 12 year old me was ecstatic. I was so happy about that movie. I heard that there were plans to make *nine* movies in total, and I was so  enthused, I was essentially a fanatic.

If you had told that young child that they would eventually make all nine movies, and that the ninth one would almost ruin my love of the material, I would’ve called you a liar. But that’s what’s happened.

That last movie just about killed it for me.

[benjipwns]

Is this from the Fortnite strategy guide?

It says Strand-Casting right there, Joe, this is clearly a Hideo Kojima joint.

[GreatSageEqualOfHeaven]

If you had told that young child that they would eventually make all nine movies, and that the ninth one would almost ruin my love of the material, I would’ve called you a liar. But that’s what’s happened.

Even just 6 years ago if you'd have said the new trilogy would make Eps 1 through 3 look like the fucking Godfather Trilogy by comparison I'd have found that hard to believe, yet here we are.

[Ghoul]

I would have loved to have seen all of the other edits of the film, you know, where none of the last film happened.

I spent an evening watching all of the Red Letter Media Half in the bags recently, watching them back to back is so facinating.

They go from being really excited to almost utter despair by the last one.

I do wonder if they'll ever make a Plinket review on Rise Of Skywalker, but I think they'll just leave it to rot to be honest.

It's honestly so baffling what they did with star wars, especially with how well the marvel crowd seem to love those movies. They're just like "Fuck it, do whatever"

The fact that no-one was fired for this trilogy is just insane. I also see Mando going to shit next season because they're ultra focused on it now.

it'll just get fucked up in fan service. Could already see that happening with the Season finale of S2

[GreatSageEqualOfHeaven]

It really was TLJ that fucked the entire thing.
TFA was maybe playing it overly safe and cashing in on nostalgia / retreading 'greatest hits', but it was a solid foundation to build... well, fucking something from, and as much as I hate JJ Abrams mystery boxes style, there was enough stuff thrown out that any of those threads could have been picked up and expanded on, or ignored as red herrings by anyone who wasn't actively trying to be an asshole in part 2 of a trilogy and paint the whole thing into a corner, which it honestly seems like what Rian Johnson deliberately did.

ROS is a fucking mess, but was always going to be a mess as it had to be a trilogy in one fucking film, as Part 2 shut down Part 1 of the trilogy, and left very little narrative space left to go, so you had to recover from all of that.

Absolutely fucking crazy tbh.

[Pissy F Benny]

i liked how they turned luke skywalker into a miserable, reclusive, attempted child murderer who goes out like a bitch tbh

[Kurt Russell]

Imagine getting this worked up over a Disney Movie

[headwalk]

disney haven't made a single interesting flick since it abandoned its "lets scare the shit out of kids with handpainted works of art" ethos in the late 90s. they used to make films ostensibly for kids which taught genuine lessons about the complexities of humanity and had all kinds of mature themes and genuine conflict, now they make films for adults who want to autofuck themselves back into their own childhood with themes such as "which roided tart can punch the galactic badman the hardest".

those who disagree suck mouse cock by choice.

[who is ted danson?]

I subbed up to disney plus.
I watched episode 8 for the first time against my better judgement
Absolute liquid shit lmfao. Somehow its even worse than the internet says.

Luckily I decided to watch the mandalorian too, which is pretty ace.

[Potato]

I subbed up to disney plus.
I watched episode 8 for the first time against my better judgement
Absolute liquid shit lmfao. Somehow its even worse than the internet says.

Luckily I decided to watch the mandalorian too, which is pretty ace.

Just wait until you see the steaming pile of incoherent shit that episode 9 is...

[Don Rumata]

I tried to watch the new Bobby Fat show and turned it off after 5 minutes.

I can't believe after 2 (narcolepsy inducing) seasons of Mandalorian, they thought the best course of action was to go for ANOTHER fucking show about a Mandalorian on Tatooine, only this time older and fatter, so he needs to be sitting down 50% of the time.

I mean literally anything would've been better, even a show about Twi'lek hookers on Coruscant's lower levels, anything.

[BIONIC]

I haven’t watched Boba Fatt yet, but the Mandlawhorian was a fun little show 

Best live action Star War thingy anyways (which admittedly isn’t a high bar…  )

[Tuckers Law]

even a show about Twi'lek hookers on Coruscant's lower levels, anything.

I am 100% on board for the Taxicab Confessions of Star Wars, full of moments with dancers talking about how they got addicted to spice trying to cope with having to suck Hutt dick.

[Uncle]

I mean literally anything would've been better, even a show about Twi'lek hookers on Coruscant's lower levels, anything.

  complex cgi nightmare mixed with practical set that costs millions for one episode

don't-even-need-a-permit-to-shoot-there $0 desert

[Tasty]

I tried to watch the new Bobby Fat show and turned it off after 5 minutes.

I can't believe after 2 (narcolepsy inducing) seasons of Mandalorian, they thought the best course of action was to go for ANOTHER fucking show about a Mandalorian on Tatooine, only this time older and fatter, so he needs to be sitting down 50% of the time.

I mean literally anything would've been better, even a show about Twi'lek hookers on Coruscant's lower levels, anything.

Twi'lek hookers

Twi'ink hookers

[Don Rumata]

I haven’t watched Boba Fatt yet, but the Mandlawhorian was a fun little show 

Best live action Star War thingy anyways (which admittedly isn’t a high bar…  )

It had cool locations going for it, and as you mentioned, a very low bar to cross over.

It had near non-existent character development (this guy turns good in ep1 and stays the same for 2 seasons) and incredibly boring action, since his gimmick is he has super armor.
At least it had a couple of better episodes here and there, where other characters did some decent stunts, though.
But i mean with a license like SW, you could do pretty much anything.

I mean literally anything would've been better, even a show about Twi'lek hookers on Coruscant's lower levels, anything.

  complex cgi nightmare mixed with practical set that costs millions for one episode

don't-even-need-a-permit-to-shoot-there $0 desert

Star Wars has already like 3 major desert planets that look suspiciously alike, i'm starting to get suspicious.

[Uncle]

putting the emojis at the back of your text

putting them in the front so the people are properly gesturing at what you typed

[Tasty]

I value my words more than memes

[who is ted danson?]

I subbed up to disney plus.
I watched episode 8 for the first time against my better judgement
Absolute liquid shit lmfao. Somehow its even worse than the internet says.

Luckily I decided to watch the mandalorian too, which is pretty ace.

Just wait until you see the steaming pile of incoherent shit that episode 9 is...

i've actually watched the whole thing at this point, and S2 was a bit fan servicey but I still liked it on the whole

[GreatSageEqualOfHeaven]

I tried to watch the new Bobby Fat show and turned it off after 5 minutes.

I can't believe after 2 (narcolepsy inducing) seasons of Mandalorian, they thought the best course of action was to go for ANOTHER fucking show about a Mandalorian on Tatooine, only this time older and fatter, so he needs to be sitting down 50% of the time.

I mean literally anything would've been better, even a show about Twi'lek hookers on Coruscant's lower levels, anything.

I'm pretty sure Boba Fett is the show Favreau originally wanted to make (and that the fans always wanted), even though technically its a spin-off from The Mandalorian, but you're right in that I dunno how much mileage they can get out of running both series concurrently. Mandalorian Season 2 was mostly stealth pilots for other SW TV shows as it was.

I dunno, I enjoyed Book of Boba Fett episode 1 anyway
Boba Fett is The Man With No Name to The Mandalorians Outlaw Josey Wales

e:
GIVE US A ZUCKUSS CAMEO, YOU COWARDS

[Tasty]

Mandalorian Season 2 was mostly stealth pilots for other SW TV shows as it was.

This + the obsessive fanservice was pretty offputting tbh. S1 was fun because it got away from all that jank.

They even messed up Luke's face.

[Potato]

I subbed up to disney plus.
I watched episode 8 for the first time against my better judgement
Absolute liquid shit lmfao. Somehow its even worse than the internet says.

Luckily I decided to watch the mandalorian too, which is pretty ace.

Just wait until you see the steaming pile of incoherent shit that episode 9 is...

i've actually watched the whole thing at this point, and S2 was a bit fan servicey but I still liked it on the whole

Wait, are you taking about The Mandalorian or the films? When I said episode 9, I meant The Rise of Skywalker. The Mandalorian is actually decent.

[who is ted danson?]

I subbed up to disney plus.
I watched episode 8 for the first time against my better judgement
Absolute liquid shit lmfao. Somehow its even worse than the internet says.

Luckily I decided to watch the mandalorian too, which is pretty ace.

Just wait until you see the steaming pile of incoherent shit that episode 9 is...

i've actually watched the whole thing at this point, and S2 was a bit fan servicey but I still liked it on the whole

Wait, are you taking about The Mandalorian or the films? When I said episode 9, I meant The Rise of Skywalker. The Mandalorian is actually decent.

oh right yeah I haven't seen episode 9 yet. Thought you meant ep 9 of mandalorian. if I want more punishment though i guess i'll check out rise of skywalker   

[Potato]

I subbed up to disney plus.
I watched episode 8 for the first time against my better judgement
Absolute liquid shit lmfao. Somehow its even worse than the internet says.

Luckily I decided to watch the mandalorian too, which is pretty ace.

Just wait until you see the steaming pile of incoherent shit that episode 9 is...

i've actually watched the whole thing at this point, and S2 was a bit fan servicey but I still liked it on the whole

Wait, are you taking about The Mandalorian or the films? When I said episode 9, I meant The Rise of Skywalker. The Mandalorian is actually decent.

oh right yeah I haven't seen episode 9 yet. Thought you meant ep 9 of mandalorian. if I want more punishment though i guess i'll check out rise of skywalker   

Oh man, please please please report back once you watch it

[chronovore]

Episode IX made me hate Star Wars for the first time since Episode I.

[who is ted danson?]

I subbed up to disney plus.
I watched episode 8 for the first time against my better judgement
Absolute liquid shit lmfao. Somehow its even worse than the internet says.

Luckily I decided to watch the mandalorian too, which is pretty ace.

Just wait until you see the steaming pile of incoherent shit that episode 9 is...

i've actually watched the whole thing at this point, and S2 was a bit fan servicey but I still liked it on the whole

Wait, are you taking about The Mandalorian or the films? When I said episode 9, I meant The Rise of Skywalker. The Mandalorian is actually decent.

oh right yeah I haven't seen episode 9 yet. Thought you meant ep 9 of mandalorian. if I want more punishment though i guess i'll check out rise of skywalker   

Oh man, please please please report back once you watch it

I got 55 minutes in and had to stop.  Fuck all of this bullshit. The palpatine bullshit resurrection . The chewie transporter death but actually not bullshit. Rey suddenly having yoda level force powers. Deepfake carrie fisher (RIP).  Nobody acknowledging the last film existing. This film is so bad that it makes Episode 8, a puddle of liquid shit, look like The Godfather Part 2.

Edit: Just checked the plot synopsis and it somehow gets even worse   

[Potato]

It does get worse. I cannot believe someone at Disney read that script and said, "This is the way we close out the most highly anticipated movie trilogy of the new millennium."

I completely agree that it made the shitshow that was episode 8 look good. It also made very very average movies like Solo and Rogue One look good too.

Pretty sure no one has been fired over that shit either.