Struggle Thread mk II - No one likes us, we don't care

[Rahxephon91]

While not amazingly awful or something I wont get over, today I had a pretty bad experience with someone I considered a brother. And I just want to type it out so it's out there. And I find sharing my problems makes me feel better about them.

Today amongst a group of friends and acquaintances someone I consider pretty much my best friend called me a loser in a very malicious way. I'm not even quite sure what it was over. It was actually quite dumb. I'm embarrassed to even reval what began this argument honestly. It was about Player Unknown sucked because of it's performance on his computer to which I then replied that my computer ran it great. Then began his tantrum over how I bought it with my tax return and not money I earned which then transition how I'm a loser because I haven't finished school, haven't done this, don't have the responsibilities like he does, is able to live fancy free.

It really hurt because well I really respect this person. But this is how they seem to view me.

A little backstory about my friend. He had to join the Air Force because his parents forced him to. He dosen't like it. And honestly I feel I understand why he had this outburst. I think he dislikes his life honestly. He makes comments about how he dosen't have a social life. On the phone you hear nothing but his announces with his girl friend while he tries to play video games. This is'nt the first outrage and they usually happen when other people are around. He'd never admit it, but I think he's really insecure.

But if you know my history, a route cause of my depression was because of how behind in life I feel I am. This is something I've talked to with my friend many times about and usually the response from him was that everything is ok.

But then to have this rant thrown at me and then followed up with a an apology, but still saying "I still think everything I said is true". well....that really hurt and I kind of don't want to talk with this person for a long time.

I don't know I've been feeling better about life and trying to be more social and outgoing, but still sucks to have these things come up every so often.

It's a dumb argument over a dumb vidya. No reason to "don't want to talk with this person for a long time" you muppet.

Well no....because it actually had nothing to do with the game. That was just the starting point. It wasn't even an argument. The person just snapped at me and then decided to dig into me.

[Raist]

People say dumb shit, especially when they're having  a shit time.

Recommended attitude :

[Rahxephon91]

I guess, but I usually don't tell people I consider friends they are peices of shit and that they are losers in life randomly when there is no provocation. Even when I'm a little ticked off.

[desert punk]

I guess, but I usually don't tell people I consider friends they are peices of shit and that they are losers in life randomly when there is no provocation. Even when I'm a little ticked off.

Yeah, while I wouldn't break up my friendship over something like this, I'd be seriously miffed for a time.

[shosta]

your friends are supposed to tell you if you're a loser. nobody else will.

[Rahxephon91]

Yeah.....that's not what this was.

[StealthFan]

nah i'd ditch that nicca. he thinks you're slime and was in a bad enough mood to air that shit out. drop him.

[TVC15]

While not amazingly awful or something I wont get over, today I had a pretty bad experience with someone I considered a brother. And I just want to type it out so it's out there. And I find sharing my problems makes me feel better about them.

Today amongst a group of friends and acquaintances someone I consider pretty much my best friend called me a loser in a very malicious way. I'm not even quite sure what it was over. It was actually quite dumb. I'm embarrassed to even reval what began this argument honestly. It was about Player Unknown sucked because of it's performance on his computer to which I then replied that my computer ran it great. Then began his tantrum over how I bought it with my tax return and not money I earned which then transition how I'm a loser because I haven't finished school, haven't done this, don't have the responsibilities like he does, is able to live fancy free.

It really hurt because well I really respect this person. But this is how they seem to view me.

A little backstory about my friend. He had to join the Air Force because his parents forced him to. He dosen't like it. And honestly I feel I understand why he had this outburst. I think he dislikes his life honestly. He makes comments about how he dosen't have a social life. On the phone you hear nothing but his announces with his girl friend while he tries to play video games. This is'nt the first outrage and they usually happen when other people are around. He'd never admit it, but I think he's really insecure.

But if you know my history, a route cause of my depression was because of how behind in life I feel I am. This is something I've talked to with my friend many times about and usually the response from him was that everything is ok.

But then to have this rant thrown at me and then followed up with a an apology, but still saying "I still think everything I said is true". well....that really hurt and I kind of don't want to talk with this person for a long time.

I don't know I've been feeling better about life and trying to be more social and outgoing, but still sucks to have these things come up every so often.

It's a dumb argument over a dumb vidya. No reason to "don't want to talk with this person for a long time" you muppet.

Well no....because it actually had nothing to do with the game. That was just the starting point. It wasn't even an argument. The person just snapped at me and then decided to dig into me.

I’d take a break for a bit then give him another chance. I’ve been trapped in “I hate my life” situations before and have snapped and done some stupid things, including shitting on friends. If he pulls this shit again, I’d probably drop him.

[chronovore]

Sounds like he has issues. Give him some space. But I never give emotional access to someone who is careless with my feelings.

Surround yourself with people you respect. Your friends are a mirror of who you are.

[Mupepe]

While what he said is definitely shitty, don't take it all to heart.  When people try to hurt you they'll often take your own insecurities and throw them back at you.  There's a good chance he said those specific things not because he believes them but because he knew they'd hurt you. 

[Tasty]

Sounds like your friend has a shitty life and doesn't hesitate to lash out when he feels others are doing even slightly better. This will keep happening until your friend either changes his outlook on life or actually improves his own. Until then I'd keep him at arms'-length, personally.

Imagine if you did something that actually mattered (vs having a slightly better PC to play vidya), like get a degree, or a good job, or a GF. There's no doubt in my mind this "friend" would privately be jealous and possibly even publicly shit all over it. You don't need that, man.

[shosta]

lost my job lol

[desert punk]

'cause you stayed at home watching crappy movies?

[shosta]

Nah, it's stupid. Anyway I'm undeterred. Life is full of challenges but just have faith it gets better if you do the right thing, you know?

[Valkyrie]

lost my job lol

Man, that sucks, so quick? Hope you find something soon you can stick and rock with!

[desert punk]

Didn't want to sound callous. Hope you get back on your feet!

[I'm a Puppy!]

Look at it this way, at 11 you have your whole life in front of you!

[shosta]

You don't understand, Puppy. Just last week I was 16. I'm coming close to the end of my rope.
 

[Valkyrie]

You don't understand, Puppy. Just last week I was 16. I'm coming close to the end of my rope.
 

[Tasty]

Wait didn't you just get a job with half the pay of your last one? You lost that already?

[Rufus]

Could be a blessing in disguise.

[Joe Molotov]

Could be a blessing in disguise.

Yeah, that company really dodged a bullet. 

spoiler (click to show/hide)

jk, sending employment vibes your way 

[close]

[chronovore]

Nah, it's stupid. Anyway I'm undeterred. Life is full of challenges but just have faith it gets better if you do the right thing, you know?

[TVC15]

My brother has been dead for 15 years as of today and I just remembered

[Valkyrie]

My grandma fell in her living room and broke her hand and her hip, so she was taken to the hospital for surgery. I haven’t been there since she’s not allowed visitors yet, but really hoping to go tomorrow or whenever they will let us.

I feel so bad for her because she was still recovering from a shoulder surgery, which was already making her unable to do a lot of things. She’s a skinny old lady, but I’m still surprised by how little it takes for old people to break their bones.

[desert punk]

I really hope the best for your grandma. Mine never really recuperated after she fell down, though admittedly she was already sick and feeble before that happened.

[toku]

hoping for a speedy recovery, this stuff is always scary. Def. go see her as soon as you can 

[chronovore]

Yeah, being emotionally supported is critical to recovery. Older people sometimes feel like a burden, so feeling needed and appreciated raises their will to live.

[Madrun Badrun]

There, there Chrono.  We all really like your posts and still need you around! 

[CatsCatsCats]

Pretty sure I’m going to have to get a second job to keep my family afloat 

[Bebpo]

I fucking hate airlines. Unless you call and get a manager no one has any ability to make reasonable exceptions. So on my non-refundable Korean Air flight ticket my 2nd connecting flight’s time was changed after I bought it to 20 mins earlier and it was already a tight connection. This seems super fucked up.

I’ve got 55 min layover in Korea and flights leaving to Korea are on average 10-20 mins late on leaving. The airline policy is min connection time is 45 mins and they’ll put you on an earlier departing flight if your connection is 45 mins, but at 55 mins I don’t qualify and they wanted $450 to change to the earlier flight which has empty seats. So again, a 10 min difference at an airport that usually has the flight I’m on run 10-20 mins late and they won’t make an exception.

Korea airport is not the quickest connector either. Have to re queue through security again and it’s a big terminal to walk across.

50/50 chance I’m staying in Korea tonight.

Anyhow it should be illegal to change the time of flights after you’ve bought a non-refundable ticket without alerting you and giving you the option to reschedule times or refund. Apparently they feel a 20 min change is insignificant, but 20 mins is the differnce between making it on the plane or just missing it...

[Cerveza mas fina]

Pretty sure I’m going to have to get a second job to keep my family afloat 

Wow how is that?

[Madrun Badrun]

Pretty sure I’m going to have to get a second job to keep my family afloat 

I'm working a full time job (Ph.D.) and a part time at a start up right now.  It's brutal.

Also, my anxiety and stress are killing me the last two weeks.

[TVC15]

My chest/heart/lungs are so fucked.

When I lay down to sleep, as soon as I get into the sleepy mindset and my breathing is supposed to get slow and deep, my breathing stops and I immediately snap to adrenaline awake.

The area of my heart hurts almost all the time. It’s a very bruise-y ache kind of pain. It’s much worse when I lay down. The pain area sleeps through my body to my back and onto my left shoulder.

The only position I can sleep in is sitting up while leaning forward. Leaning forward relieves the pain in general. The problem is that I have no good chairs for this in my apartment, so I’ve been trying to sleep sitting on the floor in the corner, so I have one wall bracing me up. Even with that precaution, the “leaning forward” position has my falling forward or to my unbraced side after only a little bit. Longest sleep I’ve gotten is 40 minutes. The position is also not a guarantee of sleep or pain relief.

I’m extremely tired and very weak. I got winded lifting my MacBook Pro from its place into my bag. I walked less than a mile and was so dizzy I had to sit down. I was covered in sweat. It was like 5-10 minutes of effort in cool weather.

I hope things get better soon. I can’t sleep now. I got like ~4 hours total yesterday and I’m so exhausted and I can’t sleep now. I have to look for jobs and do phone interviews, but I feel like I’m dying.

[team filler]

don't die on me, bb. go to doctor, pls 

[TVC15]

don't die on me, bb. go to doctor, pls 

Do I look like the kind of millionaire that can afford to go to hospitals and see doctors? That’s not happening until I’m incapacitated or dead.

[team filler]

thoughts and prayers




P.S. can I have your stuff?

[Forgotten A. Turnbuckle]

I can't tell what's real or fake, but if TVC needs to see and can't afford to why not look for a handout via a gofundme or similar?  I donated to "Amirox's Mom" and I would gladly donate to the TVC chest/gut/lungs/ass campaign.  Plenty of us would.  Karmic balance, if not for anything else. 

Heh, I feel stupid for even mentioning it but what the fuck ever.  Not sure if this is a work, a shoot, a worked shoot or what but if it's legit don't be too proud a slut to ask for some help.

[seagrams hotsauce]

I believe TVC is between jobs and I'd guess that puts his insurance situation up in the air. Might be worth hitting up a free clinic if there are any available before you end up in the ER though, or god forbid an Ambulance ride to the tune of four figures

[Forgotten A. Turnbuckle]

I believe TVC is between jobs and I'd guess that puts his insurance situation up in the air. Might be worth hitting up a free clinic if there are any available before you end up in the ER though, or god forbid an Ambulance ride to the tune of four figures

I just hope if he needs help to bridge that gap he doesn't rule out asking for some help here. 
Is what he's going through another "I ate tuna for a month and am going to die" episode or are these symptoms caused by something else? 

Ehh, probably getting too personal.  I'll shut up about it for now.   

[TVC15]

Everything in that post is true. It started very suddenly Thursday.

[TVC15]

Experimenting with CBD tonight to see if it will let me sleep.

I know I’m supposed to be on break, but I’m kind of stuck in my apartment and bored I feel like hell.

[TVC15]

If anything, CBD made things worse. Going on day 3of no sleep.

[I'm a Puppy!]

If anything, CBD made things worse. Going on day 3of no sleep.

That's odd. What ratio are you using?
I've used 18:1 and it helps take the edge off the day.

[Atramental]

Got a call from the doctor's office today that they found nodules on my thyroid and that they would potentially have to monitor these nodules every couple of months.   

This would explain why I feel tired/feel like shit most days.

I have another appointment with my doctor this April so I'll find out more then.

If anything, this is a wake up call for me to focus on stuff that actually matters to me and not waste time on nonsense/distractions.

[brawndolicious]

Got a call from the doctor's office today that they found nodules on my thyroid and that they would potentially have to monitor these nodules every couple of months.   

This would explain why I feel tired/feel like shit most days.

I have another appointment with my doctor this April so I'll find out more then.

If anything, this is a wake up call for me to focus on stuff that actually matters to me and not waste time on nonsense/distractions.

You're our Captain Picard. /swoon

[Rufus]

Take care of yourselves, dudes.

[CatsCatsCats]

Sending good vibes your way, Atra and Whitey.

I talked to my mom last night and she laid out a lot of health issues my dad is having, including what they’re calling so far “mild cognitive impairment” and he has an MRI scheduled. Hard to face the reality of losing my dad through a decline in cognitive function, really hitting me hard, he’s too young for it (60s) and the other major health issue is a choleasteatoma in his ear that sounds like he’s going to need surgery on. I’m in a pretty depressive state with this and my finances becoming more and more of an issue. Life is hard.

[hungrynoob]

If anything, CBD made things worse. Going on day 3of no sleep.

That's odd. What ratio are you using?
I've used 18:1 and it helps take the edge off the day.

edge off the day and relief from a potential specific medical issue arent even close.

[I'm a Puppy!]

If anything, CBD made things worse. Going on day 3of no sleep.

That's odd. What ratio are you using?
I've used 18:1 and it helps take the edge off the day.

edge off the day and relief from a potential specific medical issue arent even close.

That's certainly true. I don't have the same medical issues by a long shot. Hang in there whitey/Atra/and CatsCubed.

All this sucks.

[TVC15]

I had two phone appointments with doctors and they seem to think it’s all mental. I’m not sure I buy that. I’m seeing my doctor tomorrow and I guess he’ll run some tests.

[TVC15]

It’s impossible for me to sleep right now, between positional pain in my chest, heart palpitations, and racing thoughts. I’m going to be the doctor for a small seroquel dose or something tomorrow, but from what I’ve read, no sedative will help with palpitations.

[team filler]

post in the bad vibes thread 

[hungrynoob]

I had two phone appointments with doctors and they seem to think it’s all mental. I’m not sure I buy that. I’m seeing my doctor tomorrow and I guess he’ll run some tests.

When I had panic attacks, i struggled to breathe, became significantly unfitter, and constantly had this pain and thought process that I was going to die of a heart attack. Its definitely possible.

[TVC15]

My doctor thinks I’m crazy. He just gave me a big bottle of Xanax and said check back in a week.

It’s a good thing he doesn’t know how much I drink!

[Great Rumbler]

I had two phone appointments with doctors and they seem to think it’s all mental. I’m not sure I buy that. I’m seeing my doctor tomorrow and I guess he’ll run some tests.

Panic attacks suck massively. And also generalized anxiety that's not a panic attack, but you just feel on edge all the time and can't calm yourself and you feel like you're gonna have a heart attack and nothing helps. It really sucks. Hope you can get things figured out one way or another and work towards a solution.

[TVC15]

I really wanted to die soon so I didn’t have to get another job

[CatsCatsCats]

Same, tbh, especially in an accident. I would have that last moment where I know my AD&D will cover everything

[Joe Molotov]

Gary Gygax pays for the funeral?

[CatsCatsCats]

And the mortgage. And a couple hundred more thousand after that.

It’s a warm comforting blanket on my soul every time some asshole cuts me off on my motorcycle