*ring ring*
"Yes, this is Jared how can I help you"
"Jared get me dad! This is an EMERGENCY"
"Ok, hold on a sec., I was just about to burn these tax records"
"Dad?"
"Jr.? Is that you?"
"WHY ARE YOU CALLING ME DURING MY VACATION"
"Sorry dad, they're censoring Alex Jones"
"Who?"
"хихикать хихикать"
"What's that in the background dad.... are those Russians?"
"I'm knee deep in Russian piss son just call Sarah for a statement"
*beep* *beep* *beep*