I was chatting with a friend the other day who is a therapist and we like to talk about the relationship advice we found works and we were in a way "comparing notes". And he said that he felt that relationships are like buildings you have to build, not mansions you just find. I've certainly heard the "great relationships are 'built' not 'found'" part but honestly I feel like while any 2 people who have the skills and desire could make a relationship work, a truly great relationship is more than just 'two people working' it's the two right people working together. He countered with "OK I could buy that, but how do you find the 'right' person?" I replied with "No idea. That's some secret sauce type shit I honestly have no idea how it works. I just know it does." He absolutely disagreed and stated any two people can have a great relationship if they work together. I can't agree, I think any two could have a working and even good relationship, but lasting romance? fiery passion? keeping that alive and going for years? Yeah, that takes work but there's some magic there that I don't think just any two people can attain. And I'm not talking about this "Oh you have to have similar interests" shit. Nope. Some of the couples with the most incredible relationships I've seen have very little in common outside of their love of each other. Dude told me I should hand in my relationship advice giver badge. He might be right. But honestly, the more I think about it, the less the working of emotional connection and attraction make sense to me, and the more I get the feeling that it can't really be understood.
