RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011

[Phoenix Dark]

Take her somewhere then. Do some grown up shit on weekends with her.

[king of the internet]

Sure.

I guess what's "problematic" is that she works at a boring retail job and hasn't really done anything interesting with her life. Then again, she's only 21.

Basically... I'm the "interesting" person in this relationship. I've actually travelled to all sorts of places and been on weird adventures n shit and gotten into weird scenarios with weird people. 

If she's not interesting to you then you're wasting your time trying to make a "relationship" work with her

[Atramental]

Take her somewhere then. Do some grown up shit on weekends with her.

She typically gets off work on Mondays & Wednesdays and works from 3pm to 10pm. And I of course work a typical Monday through Friday 9 to 5 job. Sooo... yeah. 

Sure.

I guess what's "problematic" is that she works at a boring retail job and hasn't really done anything interesting with her life. Then again, she's only 21.

Basically... I'm the "interesting" person in this relationship. I've actually travelled to all sorts of places and been on weird adventures n shit and gotten into weird scenarios with weird people. 

If she's not interesting to you then you're wasting your time trying to make a "relationship" work with her

Ugh... well, let's see where her and I are at after a month or two... 

edit: I really should've thought this all out before leaping into this shit. But oh well. Live and let learn.

[nudemacusers]

Honeymoon phase already over eh. At least you didn't do anything dumb like attach her to your social circle or immediately eatablish yourself in a formal relationship and broadcast it to everyone you know.





















 

[Atramental]

Eh, whatever. I like her. She really likes me. I get to have sex every week.

I'll be okay.

For now. 

[king of the internet]

The longer you drag it out the messier it gets. But gotta learn that first hand I guess.

[Madrun Badrun]

[Atramental]

Eh, whatever. Just another day in the Kali Yuga. 

[nudemacusers]

will you give your accidental child a biblical name or something else?

[Atramental]

will you give your accidental child a biblical name or something else?

Hopefully having my phone by my crotch all these years has rendered me infertile.

[FreeNudeLyleLanley]

To be honest I didn't think it would start falling apart this quickly.

[Huff]

the light burns twice as bright burns half as long

[Phoenix Dark]

Rahx Was Right

[king of the internet]

To be honest I didn't think it would start falling apart this quickly.

She was just a means to an end. I've been there. Way past v-card in these situations, but there are girls I got entangled with just because I needed that intimacy or companionship in my life. But if they're not the one you really want to be with, it won't work out, whether it takes you days or months or years to finally realize it.

[king of the internet]

Anyways on a different note, I've only been tindering for a few weeks and I have like twenty matches now. Is that good? I live in a pretty small pond.
But I just can't bring myself to actually try to interact with them. I feel like my mental health and substance abuse issues have been worse than ever and it would be wrong to subject another person to myself. I also hate dating and small talk. So not sure why I'm on the app in the first place. Oh well. Just a way to pass some time.

[Rahxephon91]

Rahx Was Right

While my word here is shit, I do think this hilaoursily ok. While I think he probably should have kept it a simple Tinder fling, I don't see how he couldn't get overly excited at this. I think it's fine though, I mean I'm assuming Atra like me didn't have a quick and lame high school relationship so it's better he have it now and realize what a simple hook up is over something a bit more serious.

[eleuin]

it won't work out, whether it takes you days or months or years to finally realize it.

I'm sure we could've figured that out from her tinder bio 

[Phoenix Dark]

Atra: there is no specofic amount of texts or interaction rate that must be adhered to. She's clearly more into you than vice versa. My advice is to at least make her think you're fascinated by something she says every now and then. Be interested and curious. Ask her how her day was, and remember details so you can follow up on things days later ("hey how is the boss situation going now lol"). It takes zero effort to do this in texts. If you have nothing to do respond quickly, if you're busy tell her and proceed to answer texts more slowly.

Also do something special for her. You guys don't have much free time so when you do it should be memorial beyond just fucking. Maybe take her to a nice restaurant or invite her over to cook together. For instance making spaghetti is one of the coolest things to cook with someone. Get some nice wine, have her cutting up veggies while you make the sauce, maybe have some candles lit when everything is done, etc. You said you want practice so why not go all out and do as many different things as possible. Ride the wave bro. It's not like you have anything better to do. Oh and also the more memorial shit you do, the more free time you'll have. She won't think you're dodging her when you say hey I'm a bit busy I can't see you today sorry, let's meet this weekend can't wait. It'll build anticipation and she'll still be gassed up from the last cool thing you did together.

King Of The Internet: Just get your dick wet man. Don't want a relationship? Mention you're looking for NSA in your profile. If you really want to be PG-13 say you're looking for FWB too. That will weed out some of the time wasters. Be up front, ride the wave, and get pussy while you deal with your issues bro. Chicken fingers and fries, no dates.

[Olivia Wilde Homo]

I guess you realized something that I realized when I started dating, that people, including women, are often boring people.  I remember reading the PUA stuff about how you need to be well versed in international travel, do all kinds of evening activities, know all kinds of languages, just to impress a girl who 99% of her life consists of:

- Going to class
- Going to work
- Going on Facebook
- Going on Snapchat
- Going to the bar with her friends two nights a week
- Maybe binges on some shlock on Bravo, E!, or Netflix

and that's it.  Probably never went outside the country, probably not even out of the state (or at best, an adjacent state), no salsa or ballroom dancing classes, no exciting adventures, nothing.  I remember thinking that I had to lead this super interesting life.

Just let things play out naturally.  This was never going to be a thing and I'm glad to hear that you're at least temporarily shaken off the First Fuck Syndrome.  Now you get to find that most women are just as boring as you and your friends.

[toku]

Personal Relationship Goal 2017: Love Me

[Samson Manhug]

My personal relationship goal for 2017 is to have no goals except be honest with people and less selfish and see where that takes me.

[tiesto]

Got 2 #s at a NYE party last night. Curvy brunette artist, and petite blonde who has a twin sister. The blonde's twin was cuter but she is moving upstate next week so I went for the other, local one.

I went out with that girl I like again, on Friday. We went ice skating but she wasn't really feeling it... felt very self conscious about skating since she said she wasn't very good. Also I kinda fucked up, kissed her good night and went in for a second kiss which she was into, but nerves got the best of me and I didn't go all out make-out.  Told her I wanted to see her before I leave for DC next weekend and she said 'of course'. Hopefully next time I don't mess it up.

[thisismyusername]

To be honest I didn't think it would start falling apart this quickly.

I did. But that's because I figured he'd do what he's doing already. Hence why I said "slow your roll." But if he really doesn't like her, he really should end it within the six months IMO.

To be honest I didn't think it would start falling apart this quickly.

She was just a means to an end. I've been there. Way past v-card in these situations, but there are girls I got entangled with just because I needed that intimacy or companionship in my life. But if they're not the one you really want to be with, it won't work out, whether it takes you days or months or years to finally realize it.

That's pump and dump/"one night stands." Not "pump and get into a relationship with them and say you really don't want to."

[ToxicAdam]

That is the shitty thing about relationships, sexual chemistry isn't personal chemistry. Sometimes they coincide, but not nearly often enough.

You can fool yourself for awhile that one makes up for the other, but eventually that dam breaks.

[Atramental]

What if I broke up with her this Wednesday? 

edit: I'm kind of startled by how fast I stopped giving a shit about this relationship. 

She's very nice but at the same time... I like my space. I like being alone with my thoughts. 

[CatsCatsCats]

What if I broke up with her this Wednesday? 

I wonder why the fuck you went Facebook official so quick if you were just gonna break up with her

[Atramental]

What if I broke up with her this Wednesday? 

I wonder why the fuck you went Facebook official so quick if you were just gonna break up with her

I didn't seem like such a big deal at the time. 

edit: Also, I was feeling much more optimistic about the length of our relationship then but now... eh...

edit2: Then again, I did say to her "Let's give this a month or two and see where we are by the end of it."

So, I'll stay true to my word and give this a month...

[nudemacusers]

edit2: Then again, I did say to her "Let's give this a month or two and see where we are by the end of it."

please tell me this was before you made it social media official

[Atramental]

edit2: Then again, I did say to her "Let's give this a month or two and see where we are by the end of it."

please tell me this was before you made it social media official

It was.

I said this shortly after our 3rd bang session. 

[CatsCatsCats]

Well honestly if you have the stones to cut and run now it's probably for the best

[Atramental]

Christ, I'm such a dumbass. 

[Madrun Badrun]

Or cut the stone and stay forever. 

[Atramental]

Forgot to mention... the girl thinks I'm her soulmate. She told me this after the 5th time we had sex. 

Maybe that's the main thing that's freaking me out. She's probably already envisioning wedding bells and what not. 

[nudemacusers]

this is the only stone in your future



and maybe the kidney stone you get after 10 years of eating your way through an unhappy marriage

[Joe Molotov]

Congrats on the sex...?

[nudemacusers]

oh yeah and last stone you'll see is the tombstone you're gonna be buried under at age 65 after a stress induced coronary at which time your 5 kids (who all hate your miserable existence) come only to divvy up the meager 'inheritance' (aka the garbage piled up in your 1BR apt on the worst side of town) you've alloted them due to the fact your first wife and only partner left you 20 years ago and is taking half your paycheck while you slave away at a corporate drone job making operation manuals for products you'll never use. because you are dead.

[I'm a Puppy!]

So really what's the problem here? She's clingy and boring? Is it that you're freaked out by a relationship? Is it you have different expectations? 

[Atramental]

So really what's the problem here? She's clingy and boring? Is it that you're freaked out by a relationship? Is it you have different expectations?

She's clingy and boring (when she's sober).

And I do/did have different expectations. I guess I was looking for a FWB sort of situation.

[CatsCatsCats]

Lol then why would you list her publically as your girlfriend, man? (Okay this horse 🐴 is dead 💀)

You should communicate how you're feeling to her about all this. You got laid, good job, now you've launched yourself head first into a relationship -- you're gonna need to learn how to be honest with your feelings to another human to get out of this cleanly

[I'm a Puppy!]

Shoulda probably thought of that when you went exclusive eh?

[CatsCatsCats]

And 21 year olds just are boring, they haven't lived long enough to be very interesting

[Huff]

People are boring

Welcome to life

[Phoenix Dark]

[I'm a Puppy!]

seems to me that these problems could be handled with some proper communication. She's clingy, so set expectations with her. You do sorta have to blame yourself a bit for committing too quick, but talking it out should work. And if she can't then go your separate ways. She's boring? Yeah, she's 21. That's how they are.

[FreeNudeLyleLanley]

So really what's the problem here? She's clingy and boring? Is it that you're freaked out by a relationship? Is it you have different expectations?

She's clingy and boring (when she's sober).

And I do/did have different expectations. I guess I was looking for a FWB sort of situation.

You've had sex a handful of times but you're expecting someone to want to see you exclusively for your ability in bed?

[Atramental]

So really what's the problem here? She's clingy and boring? Is it that you're freaked out by a relationship? Is it you have different expectations?

She's clingy and boring (when she's sober).

And I do/did have different expectations. I guess I was looking for a FWB sort of situation.

You've had sex a handful of times but you're expecting someone to want to see you exclusively for your ability in bed?

It had more to do with not getting STDs.  (thanks again abstinence only sex ed for warping my views on sex...)

[FreeNudeLyleLanley]

It had more to do with not getting STDs.  (thanks again abstinence only sex ed for warping my views on sex...)

I'm going to be honest, I have no idea what you're talking about.

[Beezy]

Atra finally lost his virginity, but he continues to provide us with entertainment.

[nudemacusers]

It had more to do with not getting STDs.  (thanks again abstinence only sex ed for warping my views on sex...)

I'm going to be honest, I have no idea what you're talking about.

atra attended bob jones university for four years. this should answer any relationship/sex question you may have or will have in the future.

[Atramental]

I'm calling her right now to say we should take things slow(er)...

[nudemacusers]

[Phoenix Dark]

Why don't you tell her in person?

[CatsCatsCats]

The goal shouldn't be to tell her it needs to be a certain way but to get her to understand your point of view, my 2 ¢

And then you know, understand hers, compromise or bail -- the spreg guide to relationship survival

[Atramental]

Just made the call.

I told her we should take things slower and that I'm cool if she sees other people. 

Why don't you tell her in person?

Because I don't want her breaking shit or physically accosting me.

[Phoenix Dark]

[Atramental]

Whatever. I don't care at this point. 

edit: That soulmate comment set off too many red flags.

[Phoenix Dark]

You should have been more up front with her, especially after the FB thing dude. This isn't the type of experience you want to build lol.

Is she mad/finished with you?

[Atramental]

You should have been more up front with her, especially after the FB thing dude. This isn't the type of experience you want to build lol.

Is she mad/finished with you?

She sounded sad and confused.

edit: I feel a lot better now though. 

[I'm a Puppy!]

OMG, and I thought the pre-sex Pallo was cringe entertainment at its finest. We have achieved the next level

edit: and yeah dude, doing that over the phone was a bit of a dick move.

[TakingBackSunday]

this is exactly what I expected to happen

jfc