RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011

[D3RANG3D]

You smell like the inside of my mom's purse always works for me.

[Atramental]

Aaaaand ya lost me again

It's just a sign to know that physical compliments mean a lot more to a person with low self esteem about their body than a person with high self esteem about their body.

That's why calling a hot girl hot with high self esteem has little-to-no effect.

[fistfulofmetal]

If this ends up being true love, in 30 year when you're sitting on the porch of your suburban home watching your kids playing on the lawn - you can look over at her and tell her the story about when you used old Instragram posts to psychologically manipulate her into responding to you while you laugh and drink lemonade.

[Atramental]

I would never admit that. Also, manipulation and persuasion are two sides of the same coin. One just has more negative connotations.

You think I told the girl I lost my virginity to that I had Shark Johnson coaching me every step of the way? No sir.

[fistfulofmetal]

I mean that's why you wait 30 years. At that point you're that deep in there's no risk. You can reveal any weird shit about the courting and it'll just be a funny story.

[Atramental]

Meh.

When you don't make a lot of money and are kinda attractive (but not a stud) you have to use to human psychology to your advantage. 

That's just been clear to me since I've started down this journey. That's why I get all bent out of shape about saying the "right thing".

edit: another thing, I'm not naturally charming and warm. My default state is robotic and cold (which isn't attractive) so it's a constant effort on my part to seem like a happy-go-lucky guy that's going to make your life much more fulfilling and entertaining (which I can be when I'm not exhausted from my job...).

[CatsCatsCats]

Being psychologically engaging by using peoples' names is one thing, talking about how you plan on "using" their low self esteem is another

[toku]

Hi Katy! I'm a fucking mess but would love to be inside you. What do you say Katy?? Would you kindly go out with me, Katy?

[Atramental]

That would be over doing it. 

Balance is key.

[Mupepe]

I've shown my wife the posts i made over 10 years ago on here about her. Some flattering, some creepy and mostly just pathetic yearning. But I've been eating her butt for over 10 years now so i felt safe showing her that.

[toku]

feelings do it to ya everytime

[Rahxephon91]

Meh.

When you don't make a lot of money and are kinda attractive (but not a stud) you have to use to human psychology to your advantage. 

That's just been clear to me since I've started down this journey. That's why I get all bent out of shape about saying the "right thing".

edit: another thing, I'm not naturally charming and warm. My default state is robotic and cold (which isn't attractive) so it's a constant effort on my part to seem like a happy-go-lucky guy that's going to make your life much more fulfilling and entertaining (which I can be when I'm not exhausted from my job...).

What is this pick up artist shit?

I know I'm pretty fucked up Atra and while you've done a lot better than I ever will I don't quite understand your approach. You get too hung up on talking instead of actually just talking. The point of online to me is it puts emphasis on simply talking without any physical awkwardness. It's like you don't talk to people in real life.

[Atramental]

Once I've lowered their defenses and gotten them to trust me enough to see me in person that's when I start to talk like a real person™.

Online it's all about trying to stand out from the crowd and hitting the right buttons. 

People don't like to admit that there's a formulaic process to courting but there is.

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[close]

[Phoenix Dark]

Sorry, only registered users can see this content. Please Login or Register.

You're in a different situation though. Older, better job, you have plenty of experience (including with the paranormal), etc. So wanting something long term makes sense for you. I'm just saying Atra has no need to rush to that point, might as well have fun in the meantime.

After my breakup this year I decided I'm just going to focus on myself for the rest of the year. Now I do whatever I want. I have someone I'm involved with in somewhat of a fwb thing, but I've dabbled elsewhere too. This could be my last chance to be a degenerate fuck. I don't want to be doing this well into my 30s, so next year perhaps I might get seriously involved with my latinx ladyfriend. But until then it's whatever I want to do...

[Rahxephon91]

Well I made a tinder mistake.

[Atramental]

I make them all the time. It's super easy to do. 

Also, Katy hasn't responded to me since 12:30 pm today so I think it's safe to assume she's moved onto to someone else. I'll be surprised if she gets back to me later.

It's basically impossible to compete with the better options that keep on coming in by the hour.

[Huff]

or shes just busy 

[chronovore]

I make them all the time. It's super easy to do. 

Also, Katy hasn't responded to me since 12:30 pm today so I think it's safe to assume she's moved onto to someone else. I'll be surprised if she gets back to me later.

It's basically impossible to compete with the better options that keep on coming in by the hour.

You have really got to stop investing yourself in connections that haven't really been made yet. It may even be your level of investment / obsession is apparent from subtext, which would work to scare women off. Relax. Write back tomorrow. Who cares?

[tiesto]

EZoo is next weekend, hopefully I'll get some phone #s from a few cute raver girls this year.

spoiler (click to show/hide)

and hopefully this time they'll be older than 18

[close]

[brawndolicious]

Atra....was she a tween? Again? Did she have a job? Done with college?

Look, I want you to be a man-ho. That would make me very happy. But it aint the other dudes who will rob you of being a slut. It's just impossible for a decent man to sleep around unless he gets with women who are a bit more...depressed about life. Meaning they have experience and will absolutely love it if you were direct about your intentions.

Try another dating app with an older audience maybe but when you're chatting with a girl around your age, just be frank that you're mainly there for the ego-boost and a person to make regretful decisions with if everything seems all right. I am telling you verbatim words that I have successfully tested before if that helps pass your data analysis workshop test.

EZoo is next weekend, hopefully I'll get some phone #s from a few cute raver girls this year.

spoiler (click to show/hide)

and hopefully this time they'll be older than 18

[close]

Don't exchange kandi and you'll probably keep it legal.

[Rahxephon91]

I make them all the time. It's super easy to do. 

Well actually...

I honestly try to not take Tinder Seriously. I think it sucks when the one in a thousand attractive girl doesn't message me, but in the end it's nothing serious. I just use the swipe it all and let god sort it out method. I don't get a lot of results. Maybe I do need to smile more and not look like some sorrowful fuck on a My Chemical Romance album cover. This morning I got a match and the chick sent me a message pretty quickly.

Around this time at good olde Target, a kind of athletic, thick thighs, and volleyball playing girl came in for an Apple Watch. I'm not saying she was flirty, but she was fun and friendly and while my brain knew what to say my body was like "no fuck you, stay shitty" and I couldn't find myself to take the risk to say anything cool.

But anyway, Tinder Girl is messaging me and while she's not my type(short, ethnic, slightly thic). She kind of looks like an emo scene kid and well I do like thier hair. So why not. Not like I have anything going and it's just practice. Then she says she likes anime.

Sign 1.

and kpop.

Sign 2.

And Sex.

I don't know what this is. I mean yeah I like anime, but I do it with a degree of self awareness. Anyway tinder girl is like we should meet up and I'm like Christ it's only been like an hour and we're only at the "whats your hobbies" part. But I think maybe she's looking for sex. I mean I really don't want to and honestly I think easiness is a turn off. I don't want to get into any gender politics, I'm just turned off when(and this happens never) she just throws it out there with not build up. Hey, maybe I need things to complain about. But I'm not doing anything today so I guess I should see where this goes.

I go home change into my tight jeans, a simple shirt, my tan coat, and my boots. I mean I look like a guy who spends his weekends going out and drinking craft beer. A hipster. I don't look like a guy who knows what a Blue Eyes White Dragon is.

So the girl wants to meet up at the mall and my only reaction is..

oh no...

Bad Sign. I hate the mall and while for some reason it's a big booty oasis it's not my scene. All the dudes who shop there look like they spend and hour lining their beards while reading GQ's fashion guide in their Chargers. And the girls there bring their Yoga Pants there to show off. It's pretty people city and eh I'm not out to impress anyone. It's epsically not the scene for a 27 year old who switches between listening to Phantogram and Final Fantasy music.

It is the spot for the really young though. People who come and hangout after school far away from Abercrombie. So my first thought is no way she's 22. She is a young girl catfishing and older dude for Alcohol. She then tells me to meet her at some Board Game store. Well maybe she is a cool nerd. At least it's not Hot Topic. Anyway as I go to the uncool part of the mall I see the girl. I mean she's not my type and well doesn't look at all like the pictures. She's with her male friend and they all have waifu and anime pins all up and around their backpacks. She tells me she's been hanging around the mall for hours and doing stuff and I'm trying to just stay nice. She then tells me her ex is in the store and he's mad that shes meting up with me. She tells me in between telling me about the seizures she has.

I wasted my gas for this.

Anyway her friend group must be having a teenager club meeting in there and is playing magic or something. And the dude comes out and I realize I'm the awkward older dude the chick in the group brings around to make her ex angry and the group talk. This my worst role ever.

Dude comes out. Zelda Book Bag. Power Rangers shirt. Mighty Morphin. There's no way he was alive when even Zeo was on. His friend is backing him up, he's got some adventure time hoody. Dude is cowering behind his friend,

Guy is scared of me.

I'm the "coolest" dude in this nerd section.

And I just want to get the fuck out of here.

He leaves we go into the store and I feel so out of place in this rinky dink board game store. It use to be a Spencers.

She has to go. I tell her we will talk later and I get the fuck outta of there.

[Atramental]

Atra....was she a tween? Again? Did she have a job? Done with college?

Look, I want you to be a man-ho. That would make me very happy. But it aint the other dudes who will rob you of being a slut. It's just impossible for a decent man to sleep around unless he gets with women who are a bit more...depressed about life. Meaning they have experience and will absolutely love it if you were direct about your intentions.

Try another dating app with an older audience maybe but when you're chatting with a girl around your age, just be frank that you're mainly there for the ego-boost and a person to make regretful decisions with if everything seems all right. I am telling you verbatim words that I have successfully tested before if that helps pass your data analysis workshop test.

She's 22, has a job, and I don't believe she's gone to college yet. I just picked one of her better photos to emphasize how cute she is. She still looks great but is a tad bit older looking than in that photo I posted. 

Something that needs to be emphasized is that I live in South Carolina. Not San Francisco, California. Not Portland, Oregon. Not Seattle, Washington. Jesus lubin' Greenville, South Carolina. My options in this area are severely limited. That's why I'm more likely to match with someone who is 50+ miles away (Asheville ❤️ ) rather than 15 miles from my house.

There's this massive glut of conservative, religious women (who demand that you be religious as well if you are to date them) in this region that shows up on these dating sites which is kinda ironic because whenever I look at the guy's in my area they're mostly non-religious with a few conservative types mixed in that seem to be more "culturally Christian" than actual by-the-book Christians.

I tried Coffee meets Bagel and Match.com's app. They're filled to the brim with women in their late 20s early 30s who are religious and look... not so great. And most of them are looking for serious relationships with a Jesus loving man according to their bios. And a lot of them also have kids. Also, the few women who weren't religious and attractive to me on those other apps never got back to me. Probably because me and the hundreds of guys like me in this area are bombarding them.

I may see what OKC is like now in 2017 but it wasn't so great last time I was there. It was a bunch of obese and crusty looking women with loads of issues (OKC's survey feature really shines a spotlight on those).

edit: I'm also aware that there are guys who fake being religious, go to church, pick up Christian women there, and sleep with a lot these so called "Christian" women but that's not something I really want to do with my time. Plus, I took my Christian faith fucking seriously when I was still religious and it still angers my inner Puritan to some level whenever I meet Christian girls who sleep around outside of marriage. And these are the same women that would judge me for swearing like a sailor or something minor like that.

Plus religious women are less likely to have abortions (hence why there's also a glut of single mothers in this area). So that's something to keep in mind as well.


Anyways...

I think the sooner I get out of this region the better (which I have been saying since 2010... haha fuck me...). But that will only happen until I get my design portfolio together and find a better job elsewhere. Which my parents have been kinda blocking me on that because they want me to stick around here. But I know that I don't really have a significant future in graphic design here. It's not highly valued in Greenville like it is in any other major US city.


tl;dr: I hate where I live. Religious women suck. I need to move. The end.

[Raist]

Considering how unhappy you are with where you live apparently, just fucking move. It's not like you're limited by your trade.

[tiesto]

EZoo is next weekend, hopefully I'll get some phone #s from a few cute raver girls this year.

spoiler (click to show/hide)

and hopefully this time they'll be older than 18

[close]

Don't exchange kandi and you'll probably keep it legal.

At least it's 18 to get in so I don't have to worry about accidentally pulling an amir0x.

[Atramental]

*HOLDING MY BREATH* 

[Madrun Badrun]

Someone photoshop one of the dudes in his avatar to have a blue face. 

[Atramental]

(Image removed from quote.)

*HOLDING MY BREATH* 

quoting for the next page...

[Phoenix Dark]

Sometimes you gotta get to the "can I buy you lunch/dinner" faster. I'd rather discuss shit in person.

[Atramental]

Same.

We've exchanged a total of about 12 to 14 messages over 2 days. That's kinda cutting it a bit too early in my experience but it's worked before.

[Phoenix Dark]

i believe in you Atra

[Atramental]

 

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*DIES*

[close]

[FreeNudeLyleLanley]

She's loling a lot. That's usually a good sign.

And I can tell she's getting giddy off of my compliments about her tats by how quickly she responds.

When I was snooping through her Instagram I saw a post of her commenting about her body and about her low self esteem. So... that's something to keep in mind for later use.

I may be a bit late to this but man this comes off as one of the creepier posts in this thread.

[thisismyusername]

That's just how he generally is. I think it's anxiety about a woman maybe wanting to touch his penis.

[Atramental]

I'm just playing up my desperateness for the edgy lulz. That's all. I'm not *that* fucked up. 

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[close]

[Mupepe]

you should have asked if you can take her out to your favorite restaurant.  Now you've got to eat the shitty food that she likes.  Have fun at Jack in the Box

[FreeNudeLyleLanley]

Phone call before a first date? What is this, the 90s?

[Atramental]

you should have asked if you can take her out to your favorite restaurant.  Now you've got to eat the shitty food that she likes.  Have fun at Jack in the Box

I'd eat human shit if it meant getting with this girl. 

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I actually love Jack in the Box 

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Which is basically human shit. 

[close]

[close]

[CatsCatsCats]

Lol no way am I talking on the phone to ANYONE in 2017 unless it's for business

[FreeNudeLyleLanley]

May as well tell them “I love you” at the end of the call while you’re at it.

[nachobro]

Yeah, if a girl asked if she could take me to my favorite restaurant, I'd be a little disappointed.

"Sure I'd love to go to Taco Bell with you"

[Atramental]

I suggested I could pick the place if she didn't want to and she's letting me run with that. So we good.

edit: The date will be happening this Wednesday. That works out well since I have a bunch of shit happening this weekend.

[FreeNudeLyleLanley]

Indian it is.

[Atramental]

We're going to one of the nicer pizza places in town. She's never been.

Pizza is usually a solid winner for first dates.

[toku]

We're going to one of the nicer pizza places in town. She's never been.

Pizza is usually a solid winner for first dates.

[Valkyrie]

I'm just so curious, if you need this much help talking to them over the app, how do you not die of awkwardness while at the Tinder dates?

[FreeNudeLyleLanley]

I'm just so curious, if you need this much help talking to them over the app, how do you not die of awkwardness while at the Tinder dates?

It’s so much easier to have a natural conversation in person instead of via text/app though. Booze also helps.

[Mupepe]

It's easier to talk to a woman in person because i can fixate on her breasts if she is showing cleavage or the corner of her mouth will do if she's not. Through text or on the phone i have to fixate on my belly button which just gets distracting due to lint.

[nachobro]

We're going to one of the nicer pizza places in town. She's never been.

Pizza is usually a solid winner for first dates.

first date with my wife was us going to krispy kreme after she stopped by a street fighter 4 tournament i was running, so if i can get married after that you'll be fine with pizza

[Raist]

(Image removed from quote.)

 

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*DIES*

[close]

"He so down"

That wasn't a typo by the way.

[Atramental]

I'm just so curious, if you need this much help talking to them over the app, how do you not die of awkwardness while at the Tinder dates?

Once I know they like me on some level to meet me in person I'm usually pretty calm and casual. It's the whole  going from zero connection to some connection to asking them out that freaks me the fuck out.

Also, I talk to them like I would a casual acquaintance and after I few drinks I get really comfy around them.

[I'm a Puppy!]

We're going to one of the nicer pizza places in town. She's never been.

Pizza is usually a solid winner for first dates.

first date with my wife was us going to krispy kreme after she stopped by a street fighter 4 tournament i was running, so if i can get married after that you'll be fine with pizza

My first date with my wife was a Bach concert followed by some chess.

If I can pull that into a successful marriage, you can do just fine with pizza.

[thisismyusername]

(Image removed from quote.)

 

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*DIES*

[close]

"He so down"

That wasn't a typo by the way.

Either way, he gets dicked down.

[Atramental]

I'll be the only dick in this scenario thankyouverymuch.

[CatsCatsCats]

My first date with my wife, she was on a date with someone else, if I can etc etc

[Steve Contra]

My wife got me drunk and took me home after an ex of mine introduced us.

[Mupepe]

My wife got me drunk and took me home after an ex of mine introduced us.

Did she hold your hair while you puked in an alley?  She's a keeper

[Atramental]

(kinda lol)

edit: Wow... and to think I almost quit. 

[thisismyusername]

edit: Wow... and to think I almost quit. 

...And to think your job was stopping you as well...

[CatsCatsCats]

I wouldn't hold my breath on that one
Edit: Well actually, no, you have a chance there but you'll need to impress 

[Atramental]

I wouldn't hold my breath on that one

I wouldn't either but at least I can sneak a peak at her boobers while I'm *cough* sharing resources. 

Edit: Well actually, no, you have a chance there but you'll need to impress

I'll do what I can.