RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011

[skullstorm]

I'm far from an expert here but I thought it was cheating 101 for married people to not add their side pieces on Facebook. I've read stories of people getting secret second phones to keep their spouses from finding out they're cheating etc. Just from the guy's point of view, being married with kids, it would seem pretty reckless to suddenly add some girl you play games with on Facebook and give her your phone number with the specific intention of banging her and not expect your wife to catch on. Although maybe he's in an open marriage like apparently a lot of people are these days so.....

I don't know man, I guess the best thing you can hope for is that your girl is honest with you. But I doubt she would expect this guy to leave his family for her so I really don't think she's after anything serious with him at least. She could very well have a crush on him (or not!) but the guy has a lot to lose if it's not an open marriage so I wouldn't be so sure that anything's going to happen. And even if your girl is crushing on this dude she could very well have, you know, some morals and shit and realize that going after a married dude is super weak and never act on it.

If you accuse her of something and nothing's happening, maybe not even a crush, then it's all over. In this case you wouldn't be accusing her of just having sex with someone else while you're on a break (or whatever your situation is atm) but also of being a homewrecker which is super hurtful if not true so tread lightly. Better focus on yourself and hope and believe she is honest with you. She wouldn't have left the door open for you guys to get back together if she was over you.

[VomKriege]

I mean... She broke up with you. Softly, but it was a break up. This sense of entitlement is totally unwarranted, provided there's even anything there...Which I would be doubtful of anyway, it's projection and "emotional self harm" 101 on your part.

Get yourself up in order, go out and meet new people. Make your peace with the fact that you're no longer in a relationship with her. You might patch up at one point in the future, who knows ? But there's no guarantee there so don't put your eggs in that basket.

[Rahxephon91]

What is the point of a break versus a break up then? If we are broken up then we shouldn’t even be talking or interacting anymore. I wouldn’t want to be friends with someone like that.

I don’t even understand the point of a break if the point isn’t to hopefully resume. Especially since she’s gone back on many things she’s said.  You say since of entitlement, but she’s the one that got mad at me for the idea of me even talking to women, to not wanting to play video games with her, or attempting to attend big social stuff without her. We shouldn’t resume normal conversation and plan on seeing each other soon if this is a clear break up. This is also my frustration. What’ is a break. You say it’s a soft breaking up, Reddit says it’s not, google says it’s both.

[VomKriege]

What is the point of a break versus a break up then? If we are broken up then we shouldn’t even be talking or interacting anymore. I wouldn’t want to be friends with someone like that.

I don’t even understand the point of a break if the point isn’t to hopefully resume. Especially since she’s gone back on many things she’s said.  You say since of entitlement, but she’s the one that got mad at me for the idea of me even talking to women, to not wanting to play video games with her, or attempting to attend big social stuff without her. We shouldn’t resume normal conversation and plan on seeing each other soon if this is a clear break up. This is also my frustration. What’ is a break. You say it’s a soft breaking up, Reddit says it’s not, google says it’s both.

I dunno, I'm sure some people make it work but "a break" is pretty uncommon and it's really a breakup under a softer name (as far as I'm concerned I said so back when you mentioned it and I remember most people replying along those lines), as far as I can tell. Even if she's flirting with that guy (which, again, sound more like your mind racing there than anything), so what ? Correct me if I'm wrong, but she mentioned you were both free as of now. I think any jealousy (or "entitlement") you have is then misplaced.

For all intents and purposes you're single and she's single. I'm not there to tell you how to live your life, but at your place I would probably try to keep her as a friend but probably forfeit any romantic future unless she opens that again.

[Rahxephon91]

Well I’d rather just cut her out of my life and move on if there’s no such thing as a break. I don’t want to keep having feelings for someone if they aren’t going to go anywhere. It’s cruel to have someone believe that.

You say “so what” and you’re right. But it would still hurt, which is why you should just break all connection with someone. What’s the point of keeping her as a friend if it’s just going to hurt an have weird feelings?

Well all you are doing is obsessing over the idea of her fucking this guy;  didn't she break up with you because she wanted you to work on your insecurity?

If she's playing XBL more with this guy now.. play with them?  And don't act like a stick in the mud.. just talk normally like a normal person would.

Not saying this to make fun of you but you sound like a huge whiny baby.  It's like the least attractive behavior you can exhibit; women would rather fuck someone who gives off serial killer vibes.

Why the fuck would I want to play XBL with them? I don’t even like CoD. I just played, because that’s how we stayed in contact. If there’s no point to that then I don’t even need to pay for the service. You say normal, but a normal person wouldn’t even want to interact with an ex.

And thank you for calling me a whinny baby. I’ve also been accused of having serial killer vibes so I guess I have both off putting qualities. Even if you're right, it’s hard to help it as this is a frustrating experience.

[Rahxephon91]

I'll be honest, I don't really understand what you're saying. I've never known anyone to remain friends with thier exes. I've never seen that happen. Maybe, they are cordial after some time has past, but never friends. I'm not saying be a douche, but I don't know why I would want to interact with your ex. I've already learned a lot. What else am I going to learn here other then I wasted my time? It seems pretty shitty advice to say "yeah hurt yourself and be friends with someone who hurt you".

I also don't know how I'm being immature. Whats immature about not liking a vague situation and wanting something to be clear? This girl wants everything to be the same, just without the "label". How is that fair to someone? Why should I suggest a common game? This guy isn't my friend, I don't want to play with him. I'm not even into multiplayer games anyway and besides CoD is pretty much the only option. And I do play it just to interact with her. I did'nt play it to interact with her + other people. I have no idea why she's playing with this dude.

[VomKriege]

I've never known anyone to remain friends with thier exes. I've never seen that happen.

I'm in the middle of it.
It's fine if you don't want to try to be friends, just acquaintances or maybe even less than that. It's your life and it's often more counterproductive to force those things instead of letting them flow organically. But I don't think it would be insulting to say you admitted of being someone who is too guarded, and having an ex around (who may in some way have shared an intimacy and a part of you few people will see first hand) as a potential friend doesn't sound like the worst outcome. It's your life (bis) and it's your choice but the pretext of misplaced jealousy is pretty weak.

[toku]

https://twitter.com/tyleriam/status/625543710147801088

[BlueTsunami]

It's exactly that sort of mopey existential hand wringer over a breakup that dries up a vagina faster than a arid midday sun, Rahx. Grab ya balls and accept your current reality. Turn your sight past her cause what youre doing now is akin to an emotional Chinese finger trap.

[Rahxephon91]

You guys may not believe me, but eh....looks like I was right.

[Atramental]

people fuck. big whoop.

the world is ending. 

edit: this acid is great btw 

[Atramental]

 

[Rahxephon91]

Yes, it's very funny.

She let me know that he was going to take a trip up to meet her, but that we should still talk and stuff.

[Atramental]

I wish I could talk about my love life right now but...

let's just say I have more power and control than I was expecting with certain people and it's kinda freaking me out. 

edit: I'm NO JOKE ending someone's bloodline basically. 

[curly]

sounds like you're going to murder a whole family

[Atramental]

nah, just convincing a close friend of mine to get an abortion. 

edit: It's not mine btw. 

[team filler]

 

[team filler]

[Atramental]

[BIONIC]

You guys may not believe me, but eh....looks like I was right.

[Atramental]

God, I love her (as a friend). 

Anyways, it was a fun and eventful day. And I'll probably be going to my first rave and trying MDMA for the first time ever next weekend. 

Oh my sweat summer child, Jesus...

I went from this dweeb to a guy who could make or break people because of my "connections".

Life comes at you fast, man. 

[VomKriege]

I went from this dweeb to a guy who could make or break people because of my "connections".

 

[Atramental]

If only you knew me IRL, Vom. 

[curly]

psychedelics are the worst do a real drug like heroin

[BIONIC]

Krokodil or you a pussy ass bitch

[Atramental]

Don’t @ me unless you’ve injected fentanyl into your urethra

[VomKriege]

You guys may not believe me, but eh....looks like I was right.

That may be. I think the argument is that it's pretty immaterial whether it's real or not. That's not your problem anymore, really. Despite all your issues you moved forward those last few years. You've been in a relationship once, you can be again in the future.

[VomKriege]

To immediately undermine my own credibility, I've not seen much success on dating apps. I extended my net to Tinder and Bumble and added some more photos. Granted it's me at restaurants but they're all recent and truthful. Guess I'm not very photogenic but heh what can you do ? I have a couple of hits on Tinder but they never seem to come in the queue so I fear they're from a foreign country or just bots/fakes.

[Rahxephon91]

Well even if I can be in another relationship I’m not interested right now. And I sure am not going to use dating apps. And my current job isn’t really conductive to meeting women, nor is my friend group. But that’s fine for now.

I sent the texts messages she sent me to what I believe is the dude’s wife’s Facebook. Maybe a douche move, but I don’t care.

[BIONIC]

Dude’s gonna show up on your doorstep and mow your ass down with an M16. Amazing 

[skullstorm]

Yeah Rahx take some time for yourself, don't worry about finding someone new right away. Work on yourself and all that.

Well if it wasn't an open relationship I feel dumb for saying your ex maybe had morals and would know going after a married dude with kids is a dick move, welp. I doubted your instincts but you did really know better. And I guess you really should have gone for a clean break when you wanted to but do it now. Don't get caught up in her business any more, and definitely don't hold her hand while she fucks up. Don't waste your energy and time on her anymore.

Pretty bold move letting the guy's wife know tho, I'm expecting a shitstorm to hit your way soon. I've always wondered what I'd do if I found someone I know is cheating or being cheated on, but I guess the one being cheated on always deserves to know. Your ex will be maaaaad but don't even worry about it. Leave all of that behind, don't involve yourself in that situation any more and just focus on you.

[Atramental]

Don’t shake any gloved hands, Rahx.

That’s all I’m gonna say. 

[skullstorm]

I wish I could talk about my love life right now but...

let's just say I have more power and control than I was expecting with certain people and it's kinda freaking me out. 

edit: I'm NO JOKE ending someone's bloodline basically. 

Pls talk about your love life, or draw up a diagram or something, I want to understand your mastery better. How many underlings do you have? Do they wear collars? Do you wear leather pants every day? What sort of mind control do you use on them?

I just want to learn 

[nudemacusers]

I went from this dweeb to a guy who could make or break people because of my "connections".

You larping now?

[Atramental]

I’ve already said too much. 

[mormapope]

Met a non binary person via tinder with the best tits I've ever seen, made her squirt and nutted in her mouth.

Made a best friend with a separate lady. I fell in love with her, she's very attracted to me as well. She's married though. No sex has happened, but we're both holding back and barely containing ourselves.

Talking and befriending women used to be this incredibly daunting thing. It really amounts to grinding and getting experience points and shit with communication and socializing.

[Raist]

Well even if I can be in another relationship I’m not interested right now. And I sure am not going to use dating apps. And my current job isn’t really conductive to meeting women, nor is my friend group. But that’s fine for now.

I sent the texts messages she sent me to what I believe is the dude’s wife’s Facebook. Maybe a douche move, but I don’t care.

We're going to need a copy to properly judge the situation.

[Rahxephon91]

Well even if I can be in another relationship I’m not interested right now. And I sure am not going to use dating apps. And my current job isn’t really conductive to meeting women, nor is my friend group. But that’s fine for now.

I sent the texts messages she sent me to what I believe is the dude’s wife’s Facebook. Maybe a douche move, but I don’t care.

We're going to need a copy to properly judge the situation.

The wife hasn’t replied to me and probably won’t.

I can upload the text she sent me. It’s not very exciting. Just her telling me he was driving through the area, that she doesn’t know what’s going to happen, but she is lonely and doesn’t have many friends so she’s up for meeting this guy. That whatever happens we should still talk and be normal.

Then later she went into some detail about the sex.

To which I just said ok and went about my day. Not really much for me to say anymore.

[Rahxephon91]

No, you can say many things about me on the bore, but I don’t think a lier is among it. I’ve been pretty honest and upfront about me as a person.

And I don’t think it was like that. My therapist and I talked about this a lot obviously and you know this is my first go around and I’m dealing with emotions I’ve never really handled before and they are just exploding everywhere. My thought processes really focuses on there here and now of negativity and my distortions from it. Instead I should be making “branches” and thinking more about the other outcomes. I don’t think any of us we’re co-dependent. I mean I had my space and she had hers. I just got dumb about and encroachment on what I precived was a shared space. I don’t know, I don’t care. I don’t want to slip back into my supposed incel old self, but I don’t particularly have good opinion of relationships and I’m sure not intersted in interacting with women anytime soon. So I don’t know what I’m doing.

[team filler]

 

[Rahxephon91]

So because she moved to another state I was supposed to expect she’d fuck other people? Even when she claimed that wouldn’t happen?

Eh I didn’t go around trying to fuck other people and believed her when she said she wasn’t interested in other people and was opening to patching things up?

Not that it matters, but I’m not sure how I follow how this was an honest and expected outcome.

[nachobro]

So because she moved to another state I was supposed to expect she’d fuck other people? Even when she claimed that wouldn’t happen?

[Rahxephon91]

How is that a dog emoji worthy reply?

Plenty of people make long distance relationships work..

[team filler]

even when the relationship is strong beforehand, it's hard to make long distance work.

[Rahxephon91]

The part that during the break she also said she wasn’t open to, talking to, or interested in other people. Where she said it was a mistake to say she wouldn’t limit herself as that’s not what she exactly meant.

[team filler]

she was full of shit and you should never had expected someone to hold true to that anyway. focus on where you are and what you are doing.

[BisMarckie]

You should probably get it on with that dude’s wife. It would be only fair.

[Rahxephon91]

Ok lesson learned. In future relationships don’t give a fuck about other people’s feelings and fuck whoever you want, because you shouldn’t expect anything or believe what people say.

[team filler]

Ok lesson learned. In future relationships don’t give a fuck about other people’s feelings and fuck whoever you want, because you shouldn’t expect anything or believe what people say.

not in a long distance that wasn't even a relationship anymore

[chronovore]

Well even if I can be in another relationship I’m not interested right now. And I sure am not going to use dating apps. And my current job isn’t really conductive to meeting women, nor is my friend group. But that’s fine for now.

I sent the texts messages she sent me to what I believe is the dude’s wife’s Facebook. Maybe a douche move, but I don’t care.

Japanese say "bouketsu horu," which means "In order to dig a grave for your enemy, you must stand in it."

[BIONIC]

[chronovore]

She moved to another state with the initial intention of staying together; she then clearly communicated with you she wanted a break specifically saying she might sleep with other people.

A very common outcome for long distance relationships.

What do I have wrong here?

You tried to communicate with someone who is not, generally speaking, open to hearing other subjective interpretations.

[Rahxephon91]

Harsh, but fair.

Well what do I do now?

[BIONIC]

Harsh, but fair.

Well what do I do now?

Watch Joker.

[Rahxephon91]

I know you just want to shit talk and troll me Bionic like TIMU and a lot of the bore, probably because I am a POS and rather annoying.

But no I'm not a fucking incel. I'm not going to watch that dumb movie. I don't hate women, even now. I'm too busy hating myself for that. I am a whinny and bitter person, but sometimes I do try to correct that. Sometimes theres succsess, sometimes. So just fucking stop trolling me. I'm sorry that I lay out all my problems and flaws on the bore which leads to probably having a bad image here. I can't fix that at this point. I'm sorry. All I can ask is that you I guess understand that I aslo get what kind of annoyance I am.

[team filler]

breh, I'm still #teamrahx all the way. we wanna see you win, breh 

[team filler]

[chronovore]

I know you just want to shit talk and troll me Bionic like TIMU and a lot of the bore, probably because I am a POS and rather annoying.

But no I'm not a fucking incel. I'm not going to watch that dumb movie. I don't hate women, even now. I'm too busy hating myself for that. I am a whinny and bitter person, but sometimes I do try to correct that. Sometimes theres succsess, sometimes. So just fucking stop trolling me. I'm sorry that I lay out all my problems and flaws on the bore which leads to probably having a bad image here. I can't fix that at this point. I'm sorry. All I can ask is that you I guess understand that I aslo get what kind of annoyance I am.

I wish you'd like yourself as much as we do.
We actually all want the best for you. We want you to be happy.
We frequently get frustrated that you seem to be looking for input, then busily and verbosely tell us all while we're wrong.
I think you seeking professional help is one of the most mature things you've done. Sticking with it will be one of the best things you can do for yourself.

[Raist]

Real talk, that girl sounds like she's got some severe issues. Good riddance, I say.

[BlueTsunami]

So because she moved to another state I was supposed to expect she’d fuck other people?

The answer to this riddle of riddles is always

Yes