RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011

[james]

It appears Ive gotten myself into a canoe situation

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I'll be in GA in december probably 

my throatgoat moved out her mom's house 

might hit up a couple other girls while I'm out there, but some of them are still mad because they wanted the invite to come out here. I don't want them out here 

[chronovore]

https://www.psypost.org/2021/10/psychologists-identify-shared-reality-as-a-key-component-of-close-relationships-61969

spoiler (click to show/hide)

“619 69” …nice.

[close]

I have seen this be true time and again. It’s not whether or not you like the same Star Trek, or even the same series of Star Trek. It’s not about whether or not you both enjoyed comics or video games. It’s not about one of your likes to cook and the other one likes to eat. It’s a matter of whether or not you feel you are living in the same world or experiencing similar realities. It is also about sharing a similar set of values.

[Transhuman]

Where all the cute agoraphobe ladies at

[james]

What do I do if I like someone but would like them more if they lost 100 lbs

[chronovore]

What do I do if I like someone but would like them more if they lost 100 lbs

No relationship works when you want to “fix“ something about the other person. Accepting the other person as they are, not trying to see them as a project, is the basis of long-term success.

[Raist]

What do I do if I like someone but would like them more if they lost 100 lbs

Stop clinging to them every now and then?

[Ghoul]

What do I do if I like someone but would like them more if they lost 100 lbs

Looking in the mirror again?

I'm getting married on Sunday. My days of being "single" are coming to a close here boys and gals

[james]

What do I do if I like someone but would like them more if they lost 100 lbs

Looking in the mirror again?

I'm getting married on Sunday. My days of being "single" are coming to a close here boys and gals

Dont forget to fuck a stripper before it's too late!!!!

[ToxicAdam]

https://www.psypost.org/2021/10/psychologists-identify-shared-reality-as-a-key-component-of-close-relationships-61969

spoiler (click to show/hide)

“619 69” …nice.

[close]

I have seen this be true time and again. It’s not whether or not you like the same Star Trek, or even the same series of Star Trek. It’s not about whether or not you both enjoyed comics or video games. It’s not about one of your likes to cook and the other one likes to eat. It’s a matter of whether or not you feel you are living in the same world or experiencing similar realities. It is also about sharing a similar set of values.

A relationship is just an ongoing conversation about what/where you’re going to eat next.

[zomgee]

So...

I'm going to be going to a lawyer this Tuesday to talk about options for separation or divorce.

Probably the opposite of what you'd expect in this thread.

[james]

Sorry bro.

[tiesto]

Sorry to hear that, zomgee.

[Transhuman]

So...

I'm going to be going to a lawyer this Tuesday to talk about options for separation or divorce.

Probably the opposite of what you'd expect in this thread.

In my experience love is a lie and relationships never work out, but if you tell people that they think you're cynical or trying to be edgy or whatever.

[zomgee]

So...

I'm going to be going to a lawyer this Tuesday to talk about options for separation or divorce.

Probably the opposite of what you'd expect in this thread.

In my experience love is a lie and relationships never work out, but if you tell people that they think you're cynical or trying to be edgy or whatever.

Even with what I'm going through, I don't believe that. Even after 26 years of marriage that I may have to leave behind.

It is WAY in initial stages, this is the initial consultation. If it goes on, maybe I'll try and document my story a bit.

But thanks a bunch for the kindness, everyone.

[Mupepe]

Haven’t posted here in a while. Still married, still got the gf. Added a baby the family just a few days ago. I’ve got the next 2 months off work for bonding leave. I couldn’t be happier.

[Bebpo]

Sort of broke up with my gf, feel sad

I did the whole our longterm compatibility isn’t really there, and we seem to get a long more like friends so maybe we should just be friends thing. She wants to stay friends but wants time to think about if she wants to stay romantically for the short term. I’m happy with her but it was always going to be a short term thing.

I always am the one who breaks up my relationships and I always stress about what I’m going to say for weeks and try to time it as least shitty for the other person as possible and always feel bad 

*edit* Or maybe sorta not. I think we're in a weird grey area now. Where things are ok but we know they will change at some point but that point is not now so we are still good. The main change is that

spoiler (click to show/hide)

ok, so I was financially helping out my gf a bit and it's been hitting my finances and I had to stop and that is now stopped and what happens happens but I'll be financially more ok going forward now.

[close]

[chronovore]

She should probably book less cruises.

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[zomgee]

How long were you married for, filler?

[james]

How old is the hot czech/serbian goth chick girl and what's her insta

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[james]

How old is the hot czech/serbian goth chick girl and what's her insta

I think you can figure that one out pretty easy and it's not like you would think exactly. mostly I just talk to her about karla and her take on what's going on feels accurate. which is strange because I don't really believe in any of that tarot reading stuff. czech girl even encourages me to not give up, but at the same time she is attracted to me. I'm never going out to florida again, so it's not realistic at all. it's just nice talking to someone who wants what I am trying to give to karla.

Im asking for me my dude

[zomgee]

I went to the laywer's office, and had a good conversation. Talked about financial options, went through our debts and assets. I really thought it would be worse.

I would take an outlay against my 403(b) and will have to pay support to the end of her life. Support would be 1500-2000 a month.

EXCEPT.

I have the evidence of the multiple affairs which then becomes a negotiating card during mediation. If she wants to negotiate, the results can be laid out and say - $1000 a month and you walk away. If not, feel free to go to court and we can talk about them in detail, with evidence of her sister encouraging her to cheat on me and her conversations with the other men.

It's so upsetting, not just because of the broken house, but the years I lost waiting on her to take responsibility.

I am ready for the questions - why are you doing this to the family, to that I would say - "Why did you?"

So I filed. Aiming for December 1st. I have to be passive and just wait it out.

Tomorrow is our anniversary.

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[Bebpo]

So me and my friend who is a girl had continued talking and things acting like normal-ish for the last few days. But got the text that after thinking on it a few days they need some space to let things cool down romantically and then hope to be friends.

I believe them and think we'll still be friends, but yeah this is pretty much over. The idea a few days ago with how we both felt and were was that neither of us were going to move on for a few months since we're both busy with stuff and we'd keep texting/seeing each other/being romantic until that point. I came out of those talks feeling pretty positive about things overall. But I guess in the end after processing it my now -ex changed her mind.

We were planning on getting together tomorrow or Friday to get dinner and watch a Titane at my place and I was just about to text her about timing, but that's not happening now.

Better for me overall, I really needed to move on because this was not a long-term relationship and she was not compatible with me compassionately, sexually or financially, but still sucks.

Now I need to get back to dating strangers and hoping they're cool with wearing masks at indoor places and having their booster shot and generally doing things that won't get me covid by dating them  :'(

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my type:


 

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my type: (Image removed from quote.)


 

[BIONIC]

You mean  ?

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[porkbun]

I went to the laywer's office, and had a good conversation. Talked about financial options, went through our debts and assets. I really thought it would be worse.

I would take an outlay against my 403(b) and will have to pay support to the end of her life. Support would be 1500-2000 a month.

EXCEPT.

I have the evidence of the multiple affairs which then becomes a negotiating card during mediation. If she wants to negotiate, the results can be laid out and say - $1000 a month and you walk away. If not, feel free to go to court and we can talk about them in detail, with evidence of her sister encouraging her to cheat on me and her conversations with the other men.

It's so upsetting, not just because of the broken house, but the years I lost waiting on her to take responsibility.

I am ready for the questions - why are you doing this to the family, to that I would say - "Why did you?"

So I filed. Aiming for December 1st. I have to be passive and just wait it out.

Tomorrow is our anniversary.

I've been separated from my wife for a few months now.  I feel your pain.  Best of luck to you.

 

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[team filler]

I went to the laywer's office, and had a good conversation. Talked about financial options, went through our debts and assets. I really thought it would be worse.

I would take an outlay against my 403(b) and will have to pay support to the end of her life. Support would be 1500-2000 a month.

EXCEPT.

I have the evidence of the multiple affairs which then becomes a negotiating card during mediation. If she wants to negotiate, the results can be laid out and say - $1000 a month and you walk away. If not, feel free to go to court and we can talk about them in detail, with evidence of her sister encouraging her to cheat on me and her conversations with the other men.

It's so upsetting, not just because of the broken house, but the years I lost waiting on her to take responsibility.

I am ready for the questions - why are you doing this to the family, to that I would say - "Why did you?"

So I filed. Aiming for December 1st. I have to be passive and just wait it out.

Tomorrow is our anniversary.

I've been separated from my wife for a few months now.  I feel your pain.  Best of luck to you.

 

no more white women 2021 

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us <3

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[zomgee]

I really went after my lawyer with a need for assurances, and eventually he told me to shut the fuck up. Literally. He said I have to stop going down rabbit holes and chasing possibilities. At some point I have to trust the system that he's going to the best he can do but that there can never be a guarantee.

I told him I was overly analytical and I *had* to go down those roads. It's who I was. He understood, but stayed firm - there's a point I have to release some trust that he's going to fight as hard as he can for me but there are no guarantees.

He asked - are you doing this to wake up your wife or are you doing this to leave your wife?

The idea of staying felt repellent.

I signed the divorce decree on Monday.

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[james]

All these women are insane.

https://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/qz3879/men_arent_asking_you_on_coffee_dates_because_they/

[BIONIC]

Bruh, those comments 

[Nintex]

"I can take of myself thank you very much, I'm not your property. Relationships aren't just about money. Get with the times."

"Why are we splitting the bill. Only a $2 coffee? What happened to real men?" 

You can owe him a kiss or two if he really wants some physical contact for his cash. Hold his hand and let him peep a bra strap or two on a real woman instead of his streaky laptop screen. (which is still unnecessary because if he likes you, he won't need it; if he does need it, he doesn't like you.)

This. And I've had men arriving to the place before me, sitting down and order their coffee/drink so that when I come I have to order and pay mine myself

Emotions, disappointment, train fare aside I had wasted 4 hours of my time and energy for a £2 coffee. Never again. Thank god restrictions have lifted and LVM can’t ask you to coffee / walks under the guise of Covid.

Sorry but as a bi woman I'd rather dIe than having to ask a woman I like for a coffee/Walk date.

TOXIC MASCULINITY

So much for the bois thinking that casual coffee/walking dates are more personal and less intimidating.
Next time just arrange for a Tesla to casually pick her up from the bus stop and drive her to a rented villa for a private dinner on a water bed.
Then she'll feel more comfortable in knowing that you're not doing it just to have sex.

Don't forget to split the bill though, that shit is expensive.

[Bebpo]

Kinda random but was thinking about how one of the really small things that was off in terms of compatibility in my last relationship was that my ex never got depressed. She was on the complete opposite side of emotions on the myers-briggs and was all logic. So she couldn't relate to any of the sad depressing music I like which is like 90% of music I like. I never really saw any emotions from her but I could tell when she was happy because she made it a point to smile.

I'd never been with anyone like that before and found it kind of weird. I don't think I could date someone like that again.

[HardcoreRetro]

She sounds autistic.

"I never really saw any emotions from her but I could tell when she was happy because she made it a point to smile."

Come on, dude. Did she pull out one of those slips with different faces on it so she could process logically which face to make?

[zomgee]

Today is the day I tell her. Now I *was* going to let the divorce decree get delivered to her as her official announcement from me, but my therapist felt that was a bad idea and I agree with her. Someone might find out early and tell her or she'd find out from the local newspaper, I have to get over any anxiety, and while she lowered the boom on me with multiple affairs out of the blue: I AM NOT THAT PERSON.

I've struggled with what I'm going to say. My therapist and I were going to work on this, but we ran out of time, but when she started it was firm, short, and basically: if there's anything to discuss it needs to be with a lawyer, and that she needs to get a lawyer. And that I really don't want to talk about anything else until we are with mediators or a lawyer. That's it. Over and over. Be firm and be emotionless.

Today we are having a party at our house for my neice, her Sweet 16. I really love her. We've become good friends because she started acting in community theater. I really want to have a final nice interaction with my niece before it all goes to hell. People have told me that she will understand but I just want one more 'pure' interaction before she might decide she doesn't like me or whatever. It's completely for me.

If it goes nuts, I have friends who are ready to help and there's a hotel not 5 minutes away.

Anyway this is what I'm after.

Wife:

I have decided that the marriage isn't salvageable and the romantic relationship has run its course. Your continued unfaithfulness has broken the marriage vows, and your unwillingness to seek help have damaged the relationship beyond repair.

I have retained a lawyer, this is a copy of the divorce decree that you will be officially receiving via certified mail this week. It will need to be signed for by you. You should look into getting a lawyer. I do not wish to discuss any further particulars outside of mediation or law offices. I am going to talk to (24 year old kid at home) about this shortly and I am going to leave for a few hours to be by myself.

Daughter:

First and always, I love you. I always will. I need you to understand none of this is your fault. I have decided that I cannot stay in this marriage because of your mom's continued unfaithfulness with other men, which I did not deserve. Your mom has cheated on me multiple times, and I feel she didn’t work on the things she needed to: to help fix why she did it repeatedly. Some day if you want, and when you're comfortable we can talk more about it, but please understand I have to do this for myself. I promise you, none of this is your fault.

[james]

my neice, her Sweet 16. I really love her. We've become good friends

Kevin spacey is that you

[zomgee]

good one

[james]

It's a good movie

If your daughter is 24 in sure she will be fine with this

[Nintex]

I have decided that the marriage isn't salvageable and the romantic relationship has run its course.

Just make sure you start blasting 'In The End' from Linkin Park when you say this and tape it as evidence.

One thing one of my co-workers learned from a messy break-up is that you should RECORD everything.
For the first half to the 'case' he got fucked over by things she thought or claimed he had said and 'believe women' is still the norm with these things.
And be prepared if she feels attacked or betrayed because she will throw everything and the kitchen sink at you, women tend to get vile in these situations.
She knew he had ADD and took advantage of that every step of the way. Thankfully he was smart and had his sister as a mediator to work things out.

Even though it's going to be difficult you're doing the right thing by beating her to the punch.
Another friend of mine knew his GF was cheating because he was poor and confronted her and told her to think over the relationship.
She then called the new BF crying saying that he had beaten her and he got arrested and was denied access to his child for 5 months because guys who abuse women are treated very harshly and he couldn't exactly lawyer up.
When she finally admitted she lied, she claimed to have panicked over the break-up blah blah. She was considered 'brave' and from that point forward everyone pretended it never happened.
"Just be happy you can see your child again during the weekends!" was basically what the cheap ass state funded lawyer told my friend, who was in a very dark place after those events.

[Mupepe]

I’m not sure I’d lay out the cheating part to your daughter in the initial conversation. Emotions will be high enough and it might come off a certain way. Of course you know the situation and personalities better. Best of luck buddy.

[zomgee]

it all happened, it all sucked, all of it was so sad. 

I'll share details later.

[Nintex]

it all happened, it all sucked, all of it was so sad. 

I'll share details later.

You did the right thing

[james]

it all happened, it all sucked, all of it was so sad. 

I'll share details later.

Stay strong friend

[chronovore]

it all happened, it all sucked, all of it was so sad. 

I'll share details later.

You got through it. Your life will get better from here.

[team filler]

got sent some sexy pics. so much thighs and ass 

the bih told me she put on weight and  it just made me want to fuck her more. now I'm seeing it for myself and goddamn 

I already know where her weight goes. she's pretty much shaped like doja cat 5'2 and everything goes straight to her hips, thighs and ass. even them titties start to spill out her bras