RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011

[Himu]

Had a great phone call with a woman tonight.

She's really, really campaigning to be with me. Have a phone call with another woman tomorrow and a date on Friday. Let's see what happens. Let's see who campaigns the hardest.

[Himu]

This will be my final Care Post (tm) on The Bore.

Any criticisms or thoughts on method?

IRL women

For in real life I just tell them straight out. I told one woman I know in person the following:

Me: I've been wanting to get some ramen at [redacted] Ramen. Let's get a bowl together next week. Friday at 7.

Her: Sure I’m ready

Me: Great. I'll pick you. Dress nice.

Online apps

A lot of men complain that we have to make the most effort but I've now fallen in my role as a man and relish it because it gives me the most power and most control over the outcome. If I succeed, it's on me. If I fail, it's on me. Not on her. Never on her. With this level of control it allows me to filter women. If she doesn't show reciprocity we are not right for each other. I am not begging for a woman's time or attention. I am not begging a woman because she's pretty. I state my intentions and she can accept them or get out.

For online apps I always look for three things I like about a woman and as a test, I ask her to list three things she likes about me.

This allows:

A. Me to lead the conversation out the gate.
B. See just how interested she is.
C. See if she's a selfish bitch.
D. Every single time I do it's specially curated just for her so it shows it's not a line, it's not "game", it's me being myself.

So for example.

Good day [redacted]. I messaged you on BLK app but you said this works better for you.

Let's play a game. list three reasons swiped right on you.

1. You're cute.

2. You have a Godly emphasis and dating with purpose. This is what am here for. Let's pursue this with God on our tongues.

3. You seem like you know how to have fun while also balancing the spiritual and mental.

It's your turn. List three reasons why you swiped right on me, [redacted].

Women either:

1. Love this

2. Hate this

The women that love it love it because I am genuine. I am looking for a wife, not a fuck toy, so I look for values and character. A woman with tattoos? She's out. A woman that shows too much skin? She's out. She doesn't respect herself and I am not associating with a half naked woman publicly. By looking at things that I like about the woman besides looks by just observing the psychology of her photos and profile, I can ascertain if we are clickable. Women also love it because I'm leading immediately. Women at the end of the day, want to be told what to do. They want to be directed by a man that knows what he wants. Not a boy that just wants sex and maybe, maybe somewhere down the line maybe will consider marriage.

Women that hate it hate it because they're on the apps for attention. She swiped because she likes attention. I tell a woman that doesn't like it that she's free to go and this will not go forward if she can't do the same and list three things she likes about me.

How did the woman above respond to this?

Omg! You did!

Ok first thank you for reach out to me on here. I finally got a chance to sit down and answer your questions.

1. I really like your gentle eyes. You cute. 🥰

2. I love how you express how you want hold hands, kiss forehead and have fun. That mean I can be myself around you.

3. Honestly, love your pictures the only thing you are missing is…. That beautiful white smile lol 😆

Jackpot. Instant attraction. I am forcing her, with my masculinity to be feminine by taking the lead. A lot of dudes complain (she's not submissive) but it's up to a man to make a woman submissive - by which, I mean cooperation - with his behavior.

This woman has hearted every single one of my messages and I have sent 5-6 texts total. We talk on the phone and we use text to plan.

Let's see other examples and how women respond:

Assalamu alaikum, [redacted]!

Let's play a game: I'll list three reasons I swiped right on you.

1. You're cute.

2. You have an energy that's infectious. I admit I'm a stoic, silent type so you are a ying to my yang.

3. You're a former engineer. I like a woman that builds things.

It's your turn. List three reasons you swiped on me, [redacted].

Her: Oh wow. I don't want to play. lol Ok. Let's see.

Me: If you don't play we don't go forward. It's a way for both of us to give reciprocation at my lead while having fun and appreciating the others positives.

Someone failed the test!!!

Being absolutely fine losing women is great because at the end of the day she's just some bitch. Who cares.

Let's look at some more.

Assalamu alaikum, [redacted]. Thought you were getting off the apps!

Let's play a game. I'll list three reasons I swiped right on you.

1. You're faithful to Allah and here for marriage.

2. You seem kind and earnest.

3. You're cute.

It's your turn. List three reasons you swiped right on me.

Her: I wrote that last week. You right in time for my reappearance lol

And your bio is def what I'd loveee

Oh 3 reasons.
1. Muslim is keyyyy
2. A man with intentions speaks volumes
3. You're handsome and seem genuine

This woman sends heart messages, sent me her work schedule in its entirety when I told her to tell me her schedule. She is completely compliant and ready to be led by a man.

Asking things is for chumps

I used to ask women things, now I don't. I command, very respectfully. Asking is for lames. Please ma'am, w-w-w-w-will you go out with me? Fuck outta here.

Example with the last woman:

Her: This is my schedule these two weeks only because of Memorial Day. Usually I work 8-5 M-F.

Me: Thank you very much for the openness! Let's have a phone call this Wednesday at 7. Get yourself some time to relax from the weariness of the day, talk to a few girlfriends on the phone, get a nice bath and then have a fun call with yours truly. Have a wonderful day and may Allah give you strength. Ameen ya Rabbi.

Me on a text after that: 7:30 rather so you have time to get home.

Her: Wednesday I'll probably work from home. Good morning. I really appreciate the consideration of time. You have a great day as well! 💓

Men complain that women don't know where to eat but here's the thing: who gives a fuck what she wants to eat? She wants you to be a man, remember you have some balls, and lead her! Tell her what to do and bam.

Texting a woman is the most pointless thing possible

I used to text women. No longer. It's such a vapid way to communicate and so much can be misunderstood. I treat texting, unless you're a close friend or a family member, like business. I'm direct and tell them we're doing this at x place at y time.

Remember that women are far more sexist than men. Despite their claims they want equality they still want men to fall into a traditional role. Men, in our empathy, have tried to treat them more equally, to bad results. Biology reigns and a woman can only respect a man that in a world of men that kiss her ass, has the balls to tell her what to do in a respectful way.

Respect a woman's time

If you're a dude messing with women and you have like, no plans to get married, unless you communicate that you don't want to get married or have kids, you're a sorry coward of a mother fucker. Women have a biological clock and don't have time to mess around with little boys that don't know what they want. If you want to eventually marry you should be looking for a woman that's marriageable now and state you're looking for a wife, not a fuck toy, not a girlfriend. Watch this up your standards both in their behavior, but also in how they treat you and how you treat them.

I've struggled with women a long time but I'm really happy I've gotten over the hump and I know that if it's not one of these ladies, I'll eventually find a woman that's good for me. Stay on your grind, remember you have balls, fuck this feminism shit - that's for them, but always be respectful and always be kind.

Because of everything listed here I no longer find dating stressful at all. Shit is fun AF, challenges you, and helps you grow.

[james]

Chronically single person giving dating advice

 

[BIONIC]

Chronically single person giving dating advice

 

Sound like you need to grow some balls.

[Himu]

Date set up. Hmm, three dates in less than a week. 

Chronically single person giving dating advice

 

You're a pedophile.

[Himu]

Another date set up once one is done with her finals. We getting Vietnamese

Oh! She mentioned other types of food and wanted to try Thai so now we are getting Thai next time. Great part of leading is a woman will subliminally throw in suggestions and want you act on it.

I love being a man.

[james]

Chronically single person giving dating advice

 

Sound like you need to grow some balls.

I'm about a month away from the 2 year anniversary

Meanwhile, Himu cant keep a girl for more than 3 dates

Curious

[Himu]

See because of my previous dating experience that James said I don't have, I know full well that when a woman suggests something after you've decided something, it's a sure way to turn her off if you take up her suggestion.

In my example above, I said,"After you're doing with finals let's get some Vietnamese to celebrate and reward you for a good semester." She mentions she loves Vietnamese, Japanese, Chinese but had never had good Thai.

The man I was before, would have tried to placate her because she came up with a suggestion: "Oh, let's have Thai instead of Vietnamese then."

NO!!!

After deciding something never go back on your word. As a serial flip flopper I have learned from dating to stick to the plan. If you let a woman say, change the date idea after you've decided what you want to do then she can start to make you change your mind in other ways and eventually gain control of the relationship and have you in a feminine, submissive role. She will eventually break up with you. Tale as old as time.

So by experience, I didn't say,"Oh yeah let's do that instead" I said,"ha, if you're good we'll get some Thai next time."

Life is the greatest teacher. Acquiescing leadership to a woman is one of the biggest mistakes you can make.

[james]

I said,"After you're doing with finals

Now look who's dating high schoolers

[Himu]

I'm telling you, these guys that lead with money bro.

Deal with the woman that likes you, not the woman you like. It helps so much. Often you'll note that the woman you like is the highest maintenance and the most beautiful woman.

It truly begins and ends with the man.

[Nintex]

Himus arc ended in the best possible way

[Cauliflower Of Love]

If you let a woman say, change the date idea after you've decided what you want to do then she can start to make you change your mind in other ways and eventually gain control of the relationship and have you in a feminine, submissive role.

 

what the fuck?

 

[Raist]

If you let a woman say, change the date idea after you've decided what you want to do then she can start to make you change your mind in other ways and eventually gain control of the relationship and have you in a feminine, submissive role.

 

what the fuck?

 

[Himu]

I'm not wrong about that. If you think I am you either lack experience or self reflection. You're free to disagree. You'll still be wrong.

Women look for a leader in men. If you are indecisive, it will bite you in the ass because leaders are not indecisive. They choose a point of action and commit. How can you lead a woman or a family if you can't make up your mind about something? That is pretty self explanatory and you're either a fool or inexperienced if you disagree. Sorry.

[james]

. If you are indecisive, it will bite you in the ass because leaders are not indecisive. They choose a point of action and commit. How can you lead a woman or a family if you can't make up your mind about something?

Incredible coming from the Himu account that can't keep a personality going for more than 6 months

[Cauliflower Of Love]

I'm not wrong about that. If you think I am you either lack experience or self reflection. You're free to disagree. You'll still be wrong.

Women look for a leader in men. If you are indecisive, it will bite you in the ass because leaders are not indecisive. They choose a point of action and commit. How can you lead a woman or a family if you can't make up your mind about something? That is pretty self explanatory and you're either a fool or inexperienced if you disagree. Sorry.

Your mind an logic got all sorts of fucked up at some point.

I'm not disagreeing with you, I'm letting you know what your view on women is perverse.

[who is ted danson?]

How long should you wait to give her your seed?

[Cauliflower Of Love]

How long should you wait to give her your seed?

yes

[BIONIC]

I'm not wrong about that. If you think I am you either lack experience or self reflection. You're free to disagree. You'll still be wrong.

Women look for a leader in men. If you are indecisive, it will bite you in the ass because leaders are not indecisive. They choose a point of action and commit. How can you lead a woman or a family if you can't make up your mind about something? That is pretty self explanatory and you're either a fool or inexperienced if you disagree. Sorry.

[Himu]

You can tell by their negative energy and bullying that Bionic, James, and Cauliflower are not good with women. People I know that are nasty to others are always like that for a reason and it's often because they lack control or power in their lives so they default to passive aggression. It's really sad and I hope they get help. It is extremely feminine behavior. No wonder they like gossip so much.

Meanwhile, I am doing great out here. One woman is Christian and I really want a pious woman in my life. She said she wanted to see me and look me in my eyes and look at my face. I know I turn her on. But I'm not going to give it like a fucking a feckless man whore ready to drop everything to see a woman. I have been too busy and she's busy with studies so we can't see each other. I told her,"tell you what,  you go to church this Sunday, tell me what you learned, and I'll try to come see you when I'm not busy." She said,"I'll hold you to that." D discipline is one of the biggest things I've worked on and it's incredible. Being one of the few dudes that doesn't want to fuck her until marriage, wants to get to know her, but knows how to push the buttons, while not letting his dick control his mind. It's a win. And in the mean time I get to direct the relationship where I want it to go with my leadership and my own standards. It's beautiful. Being a man is incredible.

Combining this stuff I'm learning from How to Win Friends and I'm becoming even better of a leader and a man. I've had a hard time with family lately and I took some of the principles in it. People want to be appreciated and feel important so I have been working on rebuilding those bridges and lo and behold. Got some advice from uncle on some matters and brought my aunt's some homemade curry chicken and got him a bottle of vodka to show my appreciation. Recently I learned I don't show my appreciation for others enough. I'll say thank you but I don't act on it and give them a gift or something out of the blue. Relationships need constant tending, and tending means action rather than words.

[Cauliflower Of Love]

Himu, I'm the least negative person you'll ever know (except for that murder).

You know whats the secret to being a man?

Become a better person.

There's this fucked up ideology in your mind. I'm not bullying you and I don't think. bionic or james are either.

[Nintex]

Well it's true that most of the good people mentioned by Himu needed a strong alpha leader to look out for them and protect them against the machinations of the hacks and a safe space to gossip

[team filler]

the idea that you need to become a better person to do well with women 

they don't care 

[Himu]

Great date night.

Also this really made my day. Mother of a woman that's very special to me said she's happy with the man I'm becoming.





Nintex: said nothing about alpha. Alpha and beta are ridiculous.

What's the pattern with the people in here? They're all



They have no idea what it's like dealing with black women, who have been routinely left behind and not protected by black men. The result is very, very guarded women. There's a reason they typically go for thugs and gangsters when they're young - they're looking strong men, albeit in the wrong place. It makes sense after generations of being raped and abused under slavery, that you would be more independent than the average woman. I liken white women with microwaves and black women with ovens. The oven takes a lot longer to get warmed up. It has taken me a life time to crack the code on black women and I've finally found it. I understand you my sisters. The whole "don't need no man" is just a defense mechanism after being routinely disappointed and left defenseless by men. They require you to be even more masculine than other races of women but at the heart of it they want male leadership desperately. Thank you for upping the standards for us black women

[Himu]

Nintex: https://thefederalist.com/2016/04/13/what-women-really-want-is-the-patriarchy/

The Patriarchy

Women say they hate but actually want it.

[benjipwns]

I liken white women with microwaves and black women with ovens.

spoiler (click to show/hide)

This could be a Jack Donaghy line.

[close]

[Nintex]

Great date night.

Also this really made my day. Mother of a woman that's very special to me said she's happy with the man I'm becoming.

(Image removed from quote.)

(Image removed from quote.)

Nintex: said nothing about alpha. Alpha and beta are ridiculous.

What's the pattern with the people in here? They're all

(Image removed from quote.)

They have no idea what it's like dealing with black women, who have been routinely left behind and not protected by black men. The result is very, very guarded women. There's a reason they typically go for thugs and gangsters when they're young - they're looking strong men, albeit in the wrong place. It makes sense after generations of being raped and abused under slavery, that you would be more independent than the average woman. I liken white women with microwaves and black women with ovens. The oven takes a lot longer to get warmed up. It has taken me a life time to crack the code on black women and I've finally found it. I understand you my sisters. The whole "don't need no man" is just a defense mechanism after being routinely disappointed and left defenseless by men. They require you to be even more masculine than other races of women but at the heart of it they want male leadership desperately. Thank you for upping the standards for us black women

She wants herself and her daughter to be part of your harem inshallah 

You remind me of Mehmet the second, who was a strong and responsible leader of the Ottoman empire and took Constantinople, yet did not desecrate the Hagia Sophia. He did not murder the children of those that betrayed him but instead cared for them as his own family. When his best friend and advisor was murdered trying to talk reason into Vlad the Impaler, he personally led a difficult campaign to overthrow Vlad that would bring him close to the Christian European Kingdoms that wanted to destroy him. Despite their promises to help, the Hungarian and other soy European kingdoms did not come to fight for Vlad. They were scared because even suffering from sabotage, betrayal, death in his own ranks and his men pleading to him to return to the safety of his palace, Mehmet II kept moving forward to face Vlad Dracula and end his brutal reign.

[Cauliflower Of Love]

. I liken white women with microwaves and black women with ovens.

what the fuck is wrong with you?

[BIONIC]

Great date night.

Also this really made my day. Mother of a woman that's very special to me said she's happy with the man I'm becoming.

(Image removed from quote.)

(Image removed from quote.)

Nintex: said nothing about alpha. Alpha and beta are ridiculous.

What's the pattern with the people in here? They're all

(Image removed from quote.)

They have no idea what it's like dealing with black women, who have been routinely left behind and not protected by black men. The result is very, very guarded women. There's a reason they typically go for thugs and gangsters when they're young - they're looking strong men, albeit in the wrong place. It makes sense after generations of being raped and abused under slavery, that you would be more independent than the average woman. I liken white women with microwaves and black women with ovens. The oven takes a lot longer to get warmed up. It has taken me a life time to crack the code on black women and I've finally found it. I understand you my sisters. The whole "don't need no man" is just a defense mechanism after being routinely disappointed and left defenseless by men. They require you to be even more masculine than other races of women but at the heart of it they want male leadership desperately. Thank you for upping the standards for us black women

She wants herself and her daughter to be part of your harem inshallah 

You remind me of Mehmet the second, who was a strong and responsible leader of the Ottoman empire and took Constantinople, yet did not desecrate the Hagia Sophia. He did not murder the children of those that betrayed him but instead cared for them as his own family. When his best friend and advisor was murdered trying to talk reason into Vlad the Impaler, he personally led a difficult campaign to overthrow Vlad that would bring him close to the Christian European Kingdoms that wanted to destroy him. Despite their promises to help, the Hungarian and other soy European kingdoms did not come to fight for Vlad. They were scared because even suffering from sabotage, betrayal, death in his own ranks and his men pleading to him to return to the safety of his palace, Mehmet II kept moving forward to face Vlad Dracula and end his brutal reign.

[BIONIC]

I found Himu’s Twitter account y’all:

[Himu]

The origin of the conversation was on that Facebook. It involved a black man complaining about women wanting a provider - despite the fact he's Muslim and it's mandated - but that they refuse to cooperate with her husband.

Post he made:

Why do some women believe it a man's duty to spend money on her just by being his wife, but they don't believe it is their duty to cooperate with him just because he is her husband?

My reply:

Because a man should force cooperation with his masculinity. Submission, much like respect, is something that is earned. A lot of men beg for respect rather than command it with his actions. Also it depends on how you started the relationship. There are some women I really like but because I screwed up and was emotional I know deep down that I have tainted the relationship because she will now question my leadership. How you start is how you end and even if I truly care for her, I can't start from the beginning and prove I'm a different man to her. Women are reactive. It's why even though you did the dishes as a kid yesterday, and your mom thanked you, today you forgot or couldn't because life got in the way and now she's yelling,"you never do the dishes!!!!" even though you did them yesterday. Therefore, if she's not cooperative you are not leading and it's hard to turn that ship around. Start right, end right.

As Al Nisa says men are protectors and maintainers of women. It is a man's duty to lead and if the relationship flounders it is on us, because women react to what they feel. Of course, women can have consequences for their actions but at the end of the day it's the man that sets the tone, sets the expectations, sets the goals.
Women won't say it but they want to be directed by a man's leadership but you must be a qualified leader to earn her cooperation.

Being a man is about duty and obligation. Why shouldn't he want to spend money on his own woman? Now, this isn't to say I'm talking about leading with money aka flying a woman out, expensive vacations, a bunch consumerist crap. How you lead is how you set the tone so if you lead with expensive vacations and Gucci that woman will always expect that. If you say at the jump,"hey, we will maintain a low key lifestyle" and lead the relationship where YOU want to take it she will submit to it. If she doesn't she gets the door. I will find me a new, more compliant woman. Make sure she submits during the talk phase and crumbles to the pressure of your masculinity.

His reply:

I definitely agree that we need to have better character and have higher standards. I disagree that a man has to be at his best or reach a level to get respected by a woman. We should strive to treat people well in any type of human relationship.

My response:

My thing is reality. Women naturally want a leader in a man. This means she wants someone better than her. But many of us brothers make less than women, are more passive than women, have less hustle than women. If that's the case why in the world would a woman cooperate with such men? We should strive to treat people well regardless but it doesn't change the reality of human nature which is to be selfish and look down on those we perceive that are lesser than us.

Add in the fact that historically, black women have not been protected by black men. We didn't protect them in slavery. They were raped and assaulted and experimented on by slavers. We let them get killed in Jim crow times. We tried to integrate into white society which has been the downfall of the black community. We chased after white women. We are massively incarcerated. Many of us are drug addicts. Many of these women grow up fatherless by dad's that abandoned them or was unable to keep his nut in his sack and created a plethora of baby mamas. All this under our "leadership" as black men. Why should a woman respect a black man just because he's a black man when historically he hasn't protected, defended her? As I said at the beginning of this, respect is earned. Black women are holding us to a higher standard. A standard that is very much achievable.

As I said at the beginning of this, women are reactive. It begins and ends with the man.

This is why concentrating on women is pointless and why we should uplift men so we can lead better instead.

Let's Unpack All Of This

- Many men today are engaged in complaining about women rather than elevating themselves.

- They aren't women's raised success as a goal to get better as men.

- Many people assume masculinity is inherently toxic. That being assertive is bad. No, it isn't. There's a healthy balance in masculinity. Being a leader isn't simply always telling people what to do. That's like a boss that thinks being a boss is just barking orders rather than gently guiding his employees. Or a dad, who has learn to weave between hard and soft. That same is true for how a man handles women.

- In not a single one of my dialogues with women posted above am I controlling, demanding, or disrespectful. I'm just assertive. The women even compliment me on being considerate. There is a way to be masculine and not toxic.

- A healthy man must have a mix of both masculine and feminine traits. A man must know how to be hard and soft.

- A man's duty is to protect women but women are reactive and if you not leading she will not trust your leadership and leave the relationship.

- Today's men make a myriad of excuses. Excuses that women don't make. Men have become bitches. It's probably a consequence of the fact that it used to be a man's world solely, and we had exclusive power, but that's no longer the case. Honestly, women should be as a thing that helps men get better but instead it's creating a bunch of complainers.

- This is bad because the black community is only 13% of the population and the genders are already divided and black women already don't trust men. How will it end when you just have a bunch of men that complain about women 24/7? Not good.

- A man that complains about a woman's lack of "submission" is not a good leader. He hasn't earned her cooperation. He should work on himself first.

- All of this is derived from knowing ones self and what a man truly wants in his life.

- A man must accountable for his own actions and mistakes and learn from every single one.

Things previous generations of men fucked up on

- Teaching us how to be proper men

- Not teaching us how to be leaders

- Many skirted their duty to family and cheated or flat out abandoned their families.

[james]

And yet you've still not had a relationship last longer than a month

Curious

[Himu]

One thing I've noticed is I have so much inner peace. It's like for the first time in my life I'm truly happy because it has come with self acceptance and love. One problem I've always struggled with was friendships. As I live longer I come to the realization that people, or men generally, as per my experience, do not need friends. I think have two friends in my life: Mupepe and another childhood friend. Mupepe and I exchange texts and communicate on a regular basis and even when we haven't seen each other in years we still appreciate and love each other as if time never stopped. I've always struggled with the fact I don't fit in places and for the first time this no longer depresses me.



Men have peers and acquaintances. Rarely friends. I really like caring for relationships but not all relationships are friendships.

I think I've been doing way too much salat, which is a good thing because the peace I feel after doing it is transferring to other places in my life. I really like this peace and the sole expectation that is this truth: I am enough.

And yet you've still not had a relationship last longer than a month

Curious

It's clear you're unhappy in your life and I pray to Allah you get the help you need. May Allah, the eternally Merciful and exceptionally Merciful, grant you ease and cleanse your heart. Ameen.

[Himu]

I said earlier that women are reactive and men must take accountability for their actions. I'll say that my dealings with women in the past wasn't good. I was often thirsty, vindictive, envious, and emotional and women rightfully acted poorly towards me. I'd go into women's DMs and say unsavory things in the attempts that it would get them to like me. I've made an oath to myself to not go into random women's DMs and the amount of respect I've gained for myself is ten fold. Everyone makes mistakes but it takes a grown person to realize, correct, and further prevent them. The way I treated women in the past deserved disdain and I was a shitty person. Coming to terms of that part of myself and letting go of it, but even more than that, having the willingness to forgive myself over it, has been really freeing. It gives me a lot of peace.

[benjipwns]

I think you're confusing your own improvement for exposing existential truths about others. That people respond more favorably to those who display forms of self-control and honest self-confidence is not some fancy women hunting secret.

[Himu]

I had Church Woman do something for me. Tell me what she learned in church today and she earns my time. For so long I gave women my attention for free. Now I kind of think they have to earn it and if she doesn't respond to me in a reciprocal way that satisfies me she gets cut. I cut a woman off the other day. Standing my ground after a life time of being wishy washy feels so good. It really works for me and I enjoy it because I'm being absolutely honest with myself. Women seem to respect men that they have to earn more.

I think you're confusing your own improvement for exposing existential truths about others. That people respond more favorably to those who display forms of self-control and honest self-confidence is not some fancy women hunting secret.

You're mistaking me. What you're saying is true, but I'm also diving into social observation into how women work and what they expect from men. It's merely an acknowledgement that what women say and what many of them actually respond to is day and night. For example, I took women saying that want a consistent man as meaning,"I want a man that texts me every day and is there for me every second." What they really mean is a man that's there on a regular not every day basis. They might like a good morning text but not every damn day. I realize now that because I would do the check on a woman every day and attach to my girlfriend even at the outset thing the women I attracted my whole life were really, really insecure women that were needy and needed constant validation. In some ways they many were users and manipulators too. Women respond to how a man acts and if he puts his right foot forward she will crumble to his masculinity and polarize. It's pretty hard to manipulate a man that doesn't tolerate bullshit and I tolerated a lot of bullshit because "omg pretty" for so long. It's fascinating to witness in light of all of this "men and women are both the same!!!" business.

As for your response, most men today are addicted to women's bodies. You say most people respect those that have some form of self control but men pedestalizing women because of their bodies ("I'd let her fart on my face" style stuff) is normalized within modern society. The thing is most men don't have self control. Women are showered with attention every day by armies of men due to social media. Look at a Facebook or Instagram post of a beautiful woman and look at the comments. Most of it will be men kissing her ass just because she's pretty. Women are smart enough to weaponize this to receive money. You say "most people" but when it comes to women's bodies, most men crumble. The ability to show you're not a prisoner to her looks is a massive asset.

[benjipwns]

I still think you're making a category error because as you note you're also pursuing a different type of woman in a different manner. You even mentioned it yourself there:

the women I attracted my whole life were really, really insecure women that were needy and needed constant validation

In both the past and currently you're placing tremendous weight on the seen of your self's actions and deriving pretty broad conclusions from what you believe you are controlling. I think that's what's driving the reaction you're getting from others here that you then use to criticize them for not seeing the value of and employing your absolute methods.

[Himu]

I'm actually going after many of the same type of women but in a different manner. I can absolutely compare and contrast how receptive they are now versus in the past. Even on the apps, if we get a match they will volunteer their information within a few messages.

Old method: Try to be a good guy. Let's get to know each other. Let's talk every day. Would you like a gift? Would you like to go out?

Current method: My time is valuable. Impress me. If I go full on, you should too. If you don't, you get the door. Three to four days without texting because she's just some woman I met and not that important in my life. What do you offer besides your looks (I don't ask that directly. I ask what her values are and if we are compatible)? Let's have a call or a date on this date at this time. Look cute for me.

New York really brought this out of me. NY forced my hand So many options, so little time. So many flakes.

[Himu]

Perhaps I'm just misunderstanding you Benji. Please be more specific about what you believe I am making a category error about.

[benjipwns]

Exactly what I linked, the fallacy of composition. You're making lots of declarative statements of women this, women that in a presentation that makes it seem less like a change in self than it is a change in strategy/tactics/methods/etc.

To reluctantly use myself to illustrate the point, you're posting things about men not having friends and ways men should treat women in these rigid traditional roles. I have as many women friends as men, including ones I've had sex with, and an outsized number of those men friends are gay, all while I've never given much if any value to any kinds of traditional roles. Yet by the descriptions of others I have the strong sense of self and a non-serious version of stoicism you're advocating for, I take interest in the interests of others over more superficial areas. How can your model explain my proper methods resulting in improper results?

You've abandoned an absolutist one-size-fits-all model for another rather than simply operating within the natural nuances and I think that's why you get the harsh reactions from others, it's changing the strictures not abandoning them or making them more flexible. And always lecturing those who don't see the light of the current ones. Maybe you're happy and things are working, I certainly hope so, but I imagine others are skeptical about your boisterous claims and the wisdom of the expertise because it seems more like the latest thing rather than a true paradigm shift.

[james]

You've abandoned an absolutist one-size-fits-all model for another rather than simply operating within the natural nuances and I think that's why you get the harsh reactions from others, it's changing the strictures not abandoning them or making them more flexible. And always lecturing those who don't see the light of the current ones. Maybe you're happy and things are working, I certainly hope so, but I imagine others are skeptical about your boisterous claims and the wisdom of the expertise because it seems more like the latest thing rather than a true paradigm shift.

Basically this.

No different than your 180 from Hillary to Trump. From man to trans-woman to man.

It's all or nothing every single time.

One does simply always deal in absolutes.

[Himu]

Exactly what I linked, the fallacy of composition. You're making lots of declarative statements of women this, women that in a presentation that makes it seem less like a change in self than it is a change in strategy/tactics/methods/etc.

To reluctantly use myself to illustrate the point, you're posting things about men not having friends and ways men should treat women in these rigid traditional roles. I have as many women friends as men, including ones I've had sex with, and an outsized number of those men friends are gay, all while I've never given much if any value to any kinds of traditional roles. Yet by the descriptions of others I have the strong sense of self and a non-serious version of stoicism you're advocating for, I take interest in the interests of others over more superficial areas. How can your model explain my proper methods resulting in improper results?

You've abandoned an absolutist one-size-fits-all model for another rather than simply operating within the natural nuances and I think that's why you get the harsh reactions from others, it's changing the strictures not abandoning them or making them more flexible. And always lecturing those who don't see the light of the current ones. Maybe you're happy and things are working, I certainly hope so, but I imagine others are skeptical about your boisterous claims and the wisdom of the expertise because it seems more like the latest thing rather than a true paradigm shift.

Disagree.

You think it's about women. It's not about women. It's about a complete change in lifestyle of being more assertive. I apply the same standards for acquaintances and other relationships as I do women: if you are unable to reciprocate, there's the door. We are not compatible. You think me being more assertive, after living in New York City, is fake? You think the confidence I have in being willing to move across the country in my 30's without knowing a single person is fake?  Nope. It's all real. For much of my life I was a people pleaser. People have to show their value to be in my life at this point. This isn't an extreme and is the very definition of growth. There's a reason I haven't signed up to the new Bore: no one likes me there anyways and I've invested too much in to this Bore to kicked off by a bunch of shitposters. Go where you're appreciated. If I'm not appreciated, it's no skin off my nose. This is the very definition of growth and mental strength. It's not about women, it's about me and my own happiness.

How is my mindset extreme? In what way? A big problem here is you are being too academic. Academia has no place in real life or shared life experience. Academics live in bubbles, not in the real world. Another problem is you are a libertarian so you naturally think everyone is garnered some free will. My argument is one of sociological and biological phenomena. How is it extreme? There's far more evidence pointing in my direction.

Women are more likely to view far more hardcore porn than men. [source] [Source 2]

Conclusion: women want to be dominated. Anyone that has had sex knows that. Are some women different and more dominant? Sure. But at the heart of it, most women want to be dominated.

And if they want to be dominated in the bedroom, they want to also be dominated in a relationship. Women like to be checked, corrected, and are not attracted long term to men they can control or walk over. You have to stand your ground and show what your boundaries are. This is why I now dominate a woman immediately when dealing with a woman I know is attracted to me and I'm attracted to her, because it shows if I can mentally dominate her, I can sure as shit dominate her in the bedroom. Sex doesn't even have to be brought up. She knows it. She can hear my voice and hear it. Since women usually lack physicality, their main battle arena is the mental. Women are more dangerous psychologically. It's why things like Mean Girls is a thing. Women will get under your skin mentally and are fucking fierce. Therefore, when dealing with a woman you must demonstrate mental strength. A good way to show that is to show she's just any ordinary woman and is easily replaceable, at least at the outset, and that her looks aren't enough to captivate you and lock you down.

More reading: Psychology Today: Why are emotionally unavailable men so damn desirable?

Women should be educated. Women should have a right to work in nice careers. But when it comes to a relationship they want to be dominated. If a woman gets above her man in terms of career, the role reverses and is more likely to divorce. [Source]

Choice quote:

It is ‘still seen as quite unusual for men to be the main supportive spouse in someone else’s career’ – Johanna Rickne

Here's the facts:

- Women want someone better than them. Either financially, morally, spiritually, physically, mentally. They want to look up to their man.

- Women want men to be able to provide for them. This is biological because women obviously get pregnant. Women are more weak than men and need taking care of.

- Being assertive and dominant goes beyond women and is a general life style. Articulating what you want carries over from work to friendships to relationships. This should be obvious and it is not something that can be faked.

Absolutely nothing i said here is extreme and unfortunately the burden of proof is on you to prove me wrong. You are coming from a normalized modern American mindset that posits that men and women are more equal, or similar, than what tradition says and that relationships should just be more equal. I reject it. The divorce rate, which is mostly initiated by women (again, most things fall on the man) proves this to be wrong especially since many divorces are made by women that make more than their husband.

Here's what's happening, Benji. My mindset is traditional. And the modern America eschews traditional roles so what I'm expressing is utterly foreign to you. People rail against gender roles but I feel more happy as I fall into my gender role as a man and embrace it. Funny that.

You say "women this, women that" but I'm directly listening to women.





Please validate with evidence that a woman needing to proof to ME that she's worth investing in, is extreme. Please provide evidence that not pedestalizing a woman because she's pretty is extreme. Please provide evidence that being confident, asserting what you want, setting boundaries, and leading is extreme. Because it goes against what you were taught?

At the end of the day, I'm a man. What could a woman possibly do to hurt me? The only way I let a woman hurt me is if I let her, legitimate cases like rape aside. It all starts there.

My position is that all of this is dictated by God and God made men and women to be a certain way with our strengths and weaknesses in order to complete one another. If you do not understand this, i find our ability to discuss to be inherently limited.

[benjipwns]

Now see, you didn't even respond to what I posted instead you argued against something that wasn't even said including in one instance borderline arguing against the explicit opposite of what I said. And then you of course threw in a bunch of justifications for dismissing what was said even though you didn't even bother with what was said in the first place:

A big problem here is you are being too academic. Academia has no place in real life or shared life experience. Academics live in bubbles, not in the real world. Another problem is you are a libertarian so you naturally think everyone is garnered some free will.

unfortunately the burden of proof is on you to prove me wrong. You are coming from a normalized modern American mindset that posits that men and women are more equal, or similar, than what tradition says and that relationships should just be more equal. I reject it. The divorce rate, which is mostly initiated by women (again, most things fall on the man) proves this to be wrong

I think your post is the far more academic one: it's dogmatic, single-minded, attacks strawmen, levels accusations of multiple kinds including of false consciousness, substitutes blind citing for rational argument, claims scientific authority even as it attacks the scientific method, takes personal offense at statements not made, makes broad generalizations from lived experience, ignores the proposed counterexample by burying the field with irrelevant verbiage, sucks in personal hobbyhorses to maintain conspiratorial and black-and-white thinking, engages in selective isolated demands for rigor, manifests sweeping conclusions purely from premises, concludes with the same premise of dismissal it started with while never touching the actually made argument, etc.

You don't even know my position on any of these topics since I was attempting to articulate what others did not rather than debate you on any particulars, you still unleashed a diatribe against those assumptions you held anyway.

Lastly, if you refuse to believe people are "garnered some free will" then all of this is irrelevant because we lack the choice of being able to choose your superior ways over the forces of determination. If, as you progressives always propose, what you say is true then logically human action is utterly irrelevant and seeking to change is a fools errand. Either that or its hubris that you alone can swim against the current of life.

[Himu]

Today is the third anniversary of my dad's funeral. Let's do this thang!

Women really are revealing to themselves what they want via social media. lmao













Things I've learned from my prior mistakes

- Being too available

- Being predictable

- Not risking enough

- Not being myself, as in not articulating what I really want and thinking I had to please the woman at all times

- Not being emotionally planted

- Arguing with women lmao. If she's mad just be cold, ignore her, do something else, and her emotions will stabilize due to reacting to your cool.

- I notice in the past I wasn't emotionally grounded enough due to lack of confidence. Now that I have confidence I am emotionally planted. This doesn't mean you can't express vulnerable things to a woman, you just have to be able to offer a solution and be that dude.

- Believing a GAT DAMN thing any woman says rather than looking at her actions

- Making the mistake of LISTENING TO WOMEN about how they want emotionally available men and for men to be emotionally vulnerable and to be "nice".


Strategy going forward

- Demonstrate consistency by text/calling a woman once or twice a week for a date.

- Imprinting and teaching women things rather than simply going on dinner dates.

- Continue to work on emotional stability. Women are emotionally unstable due to hormones and want a man that is an emotional rock, her opposite. I'm the most stable I've been in my life due to weight loss, exercise, prayer, meditation, therapy. Keep doing those things to stay emotionally stable.

- Keep working on myself to keep my confidence up. Confidence has to come from a source.

- Don't get caught up in outcomes.

- Check any woman that disrespects me with a warning. Disrespect is a very specific thing rather than minor things.

- Coach a woman to be what I prefer.

- She has to earn it. She has to chase me. Prove yourself. Impress me.

- Each time we spend together, every interaction should be positive.

- Practice leading women with the women in my own family. My mom has been upset recently because of my dads death anniversary so I've been cool and collected, not reacting, and just being there.

- The more you treat them like spoiled children, the better your chances.

- Don't get mad at it. They're just women. They can't fucking help it.

With Church Woman I've got the short term strategy of:

Push, pull. Text once a week. Make her miss me. Use text to set up dates. First date was Vietnamese, next time I'm taking her to a gun range and we will go shooting.

I'm satisfied with my options right now. I could add more potential women but I will see.

[team filler]

 

[Himu]

Benji I'll reply when I get the chance.

[benjipwns]

Nah, don't worry about it.

[Himu]

Randomly saw this on YouTube and he touched on like every fucking thing I've said lmao.



Got to break them in like a horse. They fucking crave it.

"Women are people!!!!!!!" Yeah, you don't kiss their ass, and break them the fuck in. Hurts, but it's real life.

I love women but gatdamn they are something else. lmao @ the "alpha males" in the video he uses as an example.

[BIONIC]

Himu, you should tell your mom about your views on women. I’m sure she’ll take it well. Make sure to include the “that’s why they’re called bitches line” that you ly edited out as well.

[Cauliflower Of Love]

Mothers are not women BIONIC, jeez.

[Himu]

https://nypost.com/2023/06/09/im-a-liberal-hard-to-find-progressive-masculine-men-to-date/

[Himu]

Options right now:

Ghanaian woman - seems nice, wants to be seduced hell yeah

Sudanese woman - seems sweet

Ended it with Church Woman. Not a good match for me. I wanted to give her a chance because she seemed genuine. Also ended it with Pakistani Woman. Shame because I honestly think the Pakistani woman might be best for me but my heart says "get a black wife" and I didn't want to waste her time. All of our interactions were amazing and I really managed to bring out her femininity. I believe I made a positive impact because she immediately wanted a more masculine Muslim man. It seems I raised her standard for how she as a woman should be treated and that's good.

I think I'll pull back on the push pull tactic. There's too much risk in alienating a woman and honestly it's not even on purpose. I'm working 2-3 jobs right now and I'm busy as fuuuu but I guess I need to put more effort into it and sacrifice just a tad if I'm going to find me a wife.

I've gone on 5 dates and had multiple calls with women in the past week and I'm swamped. Dating multiple women sure is tiring. I need to limit.

I am noticing a pattern with women that post a lot of selfies on social media (particularly instagram) and narcissistic behavior. Those ladies tend to be the worst. The women that impress me the most are the ones that aren't about posting selfies constantly but are mostly shy about themselves in public view and about the Deen in social media. It shows she's a low maintenance woman and low key. IG models and IG wannabe models are now in the No Tattoos, No revealing clothing Bin. The more experience I get the better I get.

Women really are like 10 year olds stuck in adult bodies. As long as you make each interaction positive and fun you're in. And by positive and fun I mean what women like. So I'll ask her about fashion and dresses and they'll start to gush about it and I'll ask what her favorite dress is and how it makes her feel (emphasis) and bam, then I just have to say how I can't wait to see her in, and at a later date, out of that dress.

The fact that women are reactive is bemoaned by men but if you take advantage of it, you can coddle a woman's emotional mind by supplying her with an endless array of treats with topics that make her feel good. I used to want to try to get into "deep" subjects with women, but nope. Very rarely is this fruitful and it definitely doesn't turn her on. Women don't seem to be deep like that often. If you peruse their social media it's often selfies, food, and travel. Cyndi Lauper didn't lie.



You have to take advantage of their shallowness.

Girls just want to have fun so you have to supply it and then women will attribute positive emotions to you by offering her positive experiences. Taking advantage of all of this the same way women like to look pretty for men and take advantage of men's visual eye is A level shit.

As a proxy, because women are more simple than any man thinks, I kind of envy them. This also makes them super fun to be around because they're all about feeling good. Women's hormones and moods go up and down, not in a way a man's moods are mostly stable throughout the week. So by providing some fun in her life you give her some reprieve. It's no wonder they care about feeling good so much when there's so many outside forces beyond their control. In this way, I feel bad for women and feel an urge to protect them and let them enjoy life through my eyes.

Can't wait to hit the range for a date. I'll report back.

[Olivia Wilde Homo]

Over the last few months, I’ve been dating a Ukrainian girl with DDD cup boobs who is 12 years younger than me. I’ve encouraged her to be more liberated in what she wants. So now after I shower for the evening, she will just start eating my ass. All kinds of things she’s into but I shouldn’t share but she’s very submissive.

I decided that given my work schedule, marriage is probably not in the cards for me. My girlfriend is going to law school so she’s busy with her own thing too. We both use sex as a stress relief so we go all out. I’m not sure where it will go but I’m enjoying the ride, no pun intended.

[Himu]

Shame on no marriage. Those 20 year olds are energetic, buddy.

[Himu]

I love this guy and this video really nails the problems I had with relationships with women.

I culled a lot of my options and now I'm back with more over night, baby!!!



I'm really wary of any woman that is really, really active on social media. The less selfies the better. My favorite pick doesn't have a single selfie or picture of her modeling. It's just her art, food she made, things she's passionate. I really like that. I might drop all of the other women and focus on her. We will see. We have to get to know each other more first. Right now I'm in the process of training her. "Don't do that, do this instead" "These are my expectations..." ;etc. Stuff like that. I'll keep some others on the wings just in case, but I want to focus my attention on her and our potential.

[benjipwns]

 

[Transhuman]

So who in this thread is in a stable relationship, anyone?

[Snoopycat_]

I was raped by Ellen DeGeneres last night. I guess that counts.

[Himu]

YouTube is easily the best social media platform. It's the forums of yesteryear where people actually talked about discussed things of wide societal impact. I absolutely love it. I don't like nor look up to figures like Andrew Tate but looking at the cultural and societal impact is fascinating.

Some of my favorite relationship channels.



I really like Sara Lena. She presents gender discussions from a woman's perspective. Also a really feminine black woman good Lord, just hearing her voice is like a Siren's Call.



This young lady has gone viral for this video and she makes some interesting stuff for ladies on being more feminine and has good videos on gender norms. I especially find her take on the whole "high value" thing refreshing.



I posted him the other day and I went through his entire catalogue of videos. He's easily the most refreshing take in the men's space today in that he completely rejects Red Pill but is still masculine. In this video he savagely takes down the Tate brothers.



He is cool. He is really balanced.



I like Pearly Things for the discussions they have. This clip in particular is pretty close to my views. I dislike how Red Pillers shame women for having "body counts" while making the totality of their existence about getting pussy rather than marriage. "MARRIAGE IS A CON!!!!" Yes and you didn't vet the women you deal with because you liked the snoo snoo too much. Pussy blinded your ass from her true ways. Thank you Allah for what's right. Unfortunately Pearly Things has taken a dip and although the discussions are great but the host has a myriad of problems and is obviously a grifter.

I LOVE YOUTUBE!

I really like the discussions that are had. They typically talk about things people are absolutely don't say in polite society, especially a modern world that posits and wants to train you into the idea that men and women are the same. It's like a modern MTV.

(Image removed from quote.)

 

Weird comment, as if it's supposed to be insightful and totally not circle jerk-y.

[Cauliflower Of Love]

So who in this thread is in a stable relationship, anyone?

Define stable and relationship and in.