I was banned and made this reply to Kristoffer but couldn't post it because of the ban.
My concern is the community. Is it really good for the community if we don't have higher standards? What ultimately happened due to lower standards? This woman was embarrassed and made fun of and put on a national spotlight. Is that really good? I think that there's a harmful undercurrent in the trans community where we just go along with everything. You identify, therefore do whatever. I and I just don't agree with it. I've seen plenty of people who tell others they pass when they remotely don't and it almost always results in some self harm in the end. I do not judge or wish harm on this woman. But I'm seeing a beard, and I don't see why it's okay to present that way when expecting people to just accept you as a woman. It just results in pain and lack of support in the end which makes things harder. I know more than a few trans women who just pop their E pills and expect things to turn out and do the bare minimum effort and then wonder why people don't call them she/her and then people online coddle them, shush them, and make them feel a little better, until the next time it happens. It results in true pain for them and on more than one occasion results in suicidal tendencies and ideation. Sometimes in "successful" attempts. My goal here isn't to judge other trans women from a passing/non-passing perspective, and I understand that not everyone is in a position for a successful transition with resources. I sure didn't, and in many ways still don't since I was off hormones almost all year and went nuts because of it. I simply do not think that the way the community commands itself lends to the best of support and happiness.
