This board wouldn't be where it is without you, the backbread of the forum.
0 Members and 27 Guests are viewing this topic.
OFFICIAL STAFF COMMUNICATIONThis clip is 8 years old and is not generating good discussion. As such we're locking it.
The Bore has mass recognition as a known hate site though...
This should be good :https://www.resetera.com/threads/one-of-the-most-infuriating-discussions-is-of-having-a-type.129252/
I think it would be prudent to address these ideas one by one."You're not asking for introspection, you're wanting people to change their preferences" - Change might come about as a result of people opening up their perceptions and examining the societal and personal factors behind their preference, but that isn't the goal. The point of having a discussion is to get people to realize the extent to which their preference is actually molded by society, and that it isn't just something that is there. This is important because confronting those and giving them a hard look will improve the discussion around beauty standards and challenge the status quo of a eurocentric ideal."You're basically trying to take away sexual selection by making everyone seen as equally attractive" - No, looking at what molded your preferences will not suddenly make everybody super hot looking. Currently, the accepted standard of beauty is very eurocentric, at least as far as North America and Europe are concerned, but this extends all over the globe thanks to pop culture. I don't believe we will ever reach a point where all ethnicities are viewed as equally attractive in their own ways, but we can challenge the status quo by looking at why it's the european ideal that's held up as the epitome, and in this context it doesn't have to be a grand standing movement, it starts by looking within."I have a type and I don't care what you have to say about it" - I don't care what your type is so long as you recognize what factors lead to it and how those have affected your preferences and attitudes towards dating. I'm not asking people to suddenly find everyone attractive. I'm asking that you think about how your preferences came to be. If you don't know how they got that way, then maybe it's worth it to look into and talk about, for your own knowledge and understanding yourself."I don't understand what there is to be gained from this supposedly arduous task of looking at ourselves. Seems pointless" - You understand yourself better and have a newfound appreciation for the potency of external factors upon ideas of attraction you hold very personal to yourself. You might better understand your own past behaviors and relationships. You might gain some perspective going forward about how pervasive popular ideals of beauty are in our society and how they might affect people who don't fit that ideal and those who do."This just screams armchair psychology" - I'm not pulling out in depth studies here or asserting a hypothesis. This conversation needs to happen, because I feel the refusal to look into our dating preferences is inhibiting the larger discussion around racial inequality and how beauty standards are used as a tool to elevate the eurocentric ideal over others. I specifically point out dating preference, and not exclusion, because the latter is an easy shield to hide behind with no room to explore the touchier aspects of attraction. Our seemingly innocuous preferences are more affected by external factors intertwined with ethnicity and race than we might be comfortable with."Saying that preference is affected by society is like saying being Gay is a choice" - Sexual orientation should never be conflated with dating preference. You are born gay, you are not born with a particular attraction to blond hair and european facial features."Our preferences are genetic, we can't help who we're attracted to. I'm attracted to asian women, but I won't deny a black woman if she fits my beauty ideal" - They are not genetic. They are learned. And they are influenced by outside factors more than most want to admit. I don't believe that a preference for european features comes from genetics.I probably missed a couple takes so I'll go back and re read the thread again. I want to make it clear that looking at the factors behind your type doesn't require you to be self deprecating or remorseful or otherwise in a state of unhappiness. It's just thinking about your life, and how your experiences and society and the environment you were exposed to has shaped your dating preferences. It is okay to be most attracted to blonde women or men with stereotypically attractive features. Just know the how and why of what lead your preferences to that, and understand how our world can influence our perception of attraction subconsciously. While the benefit might not seem immediately apparent, I think it will play a big role in discussions of race and beauty going forward.
Quotewhen i was dating the craziest thing i always heard was "i'm so glad you're tall, i like dating tall men because i love wearing heels". it was then i realized i would never understand womenGood ol internalized sexism
when i was dating the craziest thing i always heard was "i'm so glad you're tall, i like dating tall men because i love wearing heels". it was then i realized i would never understand women
For example most people on this board are probably fatphobic and don't date or find overweight people attractive. Not because of some kind of inherent preference but because society told them to.
Like there’s a fucking OT for RLM if all you want to do is talk about how you like them
This is some bad faith bullshit right here. You're perfectly aware that just posting "I like them" is a complete dismissal of what's listed in the OP. It's a drive by.As Chug said, there's an entire thread dedicated to ignoring their issues and consuming their content without a second thought/cheering them on.
Speaking personally, the topic is one of main factors why I have self-esteem issues and don't bother pursuing dating or online datingMaybe its just me, but there's only so much sensitive topics that I have to approach like a fucking landmine and I can't afford to make a fuck up. One slip up and my life is done for
QuoteMost people say that the cinemamassacre guy is a nice guy of youtube (I've seen it posted here on ERA) - didnt he do a "I refuse to watch the new ghostbusters movie". That's way worse. He has a bigger audience. 3.3 million views.I unsubbed from that channel the moment I finished watching that video.
Most people say that the cinemamassacre guy is a nice guy of youtube (I've seen it posted here on ERA) - didnt he do a "I refuse to watch the new ghostbusters movie". That's way worse. He has a bigger audience. 3.3 million views.
Y'all got really damn defensive in this thread
Man, I've been thinking about this stuff, and my brain just hurts. I do not know how to organize these thoughts at all.This shit is hard for me to put into words, so bear with me. I had somewhat of a "Physical Type" I could point to when I was much younger. I liked Red hair a lot, but I didn't not-like the others. Growing up in the super-white PNW, I also just thought most white blonde girls were boring and meh. However, the very first girl I ever liked was a tall blonde white girl, so yeah. It didn't really matter though and I ended up being with women from all over. One was Mexican/Iranian, another a Brazilian that was a big mix of things, etc. The only kind of constant was that they were few years older than me and like one was the same age I think.Now, here's the part that *really* makes my brain hurt. I've never understood people's obsession with Actors, or characters, people on TV etc. They do *nothing* for me. Like, I recognize attractiveness. Fucking basically *everyone* in TV, movies, etc is conventionally attractive and pretty. But... I don't care? Like at all. They may as well not exist for me. People waifu'ing shit non-stop exhausts me. I like characters because they're fun or cool or interesting, not because I want to fuck them. I get it on paper, but there's something in my head that just doesn't click and I just don't really get it. I have this really big disconnect there that's hard for me to articulate.I need to be able to engage with someone for that physical attraction to come into the picture. I need that chemistry, to hear their voice, read their body language, etc, or it just does *not* matter. Sometimes this also works through just talking through text, but it's way more difficult to get a read on that so I try not to read into things there. I met my last girlfriend this way and she had to be *really* obvious. After that it's just like, being healthy? Not Obese? I don't know. Hair/skin color/etc doesn't matter. I've ended up with a bunch of short women, but I've liked taller ones too and it just never ended up working out. I certainly appreciate a beautiful woman when I'm with them and the effort they put in, but unless I've got that spark and connection, I just don't think about people that way.Now all that being said, people who know me sure do think I have a thing for a certain Personality Type. That being, someone I can argue with, and they usually get called Crazy. A lot of this is attributed to one of my Ex's that I had a very toxic relationship with, because she would start fights to get me angry on purpose and well... you know. But yeah, I kinda live off that tension. Not like, "fights", but just going back and forth forever about dumb shit. I just love engagement. When that kicks in I find *every little thing* about someone I'm with attractive and it's intense. My "tastes" kind of adjust around them.Well, this post is a mess and I had to edit the shit out of my inner Valley Girl. But yeah, this is fucking difficult for me to put into words. I haven't talked about this stuff a whole lot or explored it very much and I'm just not sure how to express it. There's a lot more swirling around in my head that I just can't figure out how to concisely put down, but I figured I'd at least throw out a different way people view Types.
It would be nice to afford to have a type
QuoteSpeaking personally, the topic is one of main factors why I have self-esteem issues and don't bother pursuing dating or online datingMaybe its just me, but there's only so much sensitive topics that I have to approach like a fucking landmine and I can't afford to make a fuck up. One slip up and my life is done for
Is this another of those threads where an ugly person is mad because pretty people won't fuck them?
This conversation needs to happen, because I feel the refusal to look into our dating preferences is inhibiting the larger discussion around racial inequality and how beauty standards are used as a tool to elevate the eurocentric ideal over others. I specifically point out dating preference, and not exclusion, because the latter is an easy shield to hide behind with no room to explore the touchier aspects of attraction. Our seemingly innocuous preferences are more affected by external factors intertwined with ethnicity and race than we might be comfortable with.
https://www.resetera.com/threads/one-of-the-most-infuriating-discussions-is-of-having-a-type.129252/page-6#post-22819670You're not a licensed shrink, man. Also your screen name is "Mess of an Ego".
Of all the careers out there, this is the one that I can see myself doing. Like, I don’t really imagine myself walking into a tall building do to business at BIZCORP, or slaving away at a computer creating different 0100010101 combinations, or whatever you programmers do. But I can definitely imagine myself talking about a subject I like, politics, economics, history, stuff along those lines, to people who want to learn.
https://www.resetera.com/threads/any-college-professors-here.129460/QuoteOf all the careers out there, this is the one that I can see myself doing. Like, I don’t really imagine myself walking into a tall building do to business at BIZCORP, or slaving away at a computer creating different 0100010101 combinations, or whatever you programmers do. But I can definitely imagine myself talking about a subject I like, politics, economics, history, stuff along those lines, to people who want to learn.
HmmI don’t even know what a post doc program is lol. Gonna have to research more
To give you some background, I hold 4 Bachelor's degrees; I did 3 from 04-09 in Political Science, Sociology, and Psychology. I then did an English undergrad between 2010-13, and followed that up with classwork toward a Master's in Literary and Textual Studies in '15-'17....As such, I feel downright solid in my credentials. I will finally wrap up my MA thesis this fall, as it was delayed by two years due to an aborted first attempt and a lot of life circumstances. I'm considering a PhD in Cultural Anthropology in a few years time.
Do you need literature to back up that particular statement? Because to me it seems like common sense
Quote from: clothedmacuser on July 17, 2019, 03:26:55 AMhttps://www.resetera.com/threads/any-college-professors-here.129460/QuoteOf all the careers out there, this is the one that I can see myself doing. Like, I don’t really imagine myself walking into a tall building do to business at BIZCORP, or slaving away at a computer creating different 0100010101 combinations, or whatever you programmers do. But I can definitely imagine myself talking about a subject I like, politics, economics, history, stuff along those lines, to people who want to learn. Quote from: Also The OPHmmI don’t even know what a post doc program is lol. Gonna have to research more
Is this true? Because if SJW culture really is a big thing offline in the US I don't wanna live there again (I've been living in Asia for the past 9 years). Like if I go to the US, and openly talk about how I like Jordan Peterson, will most normal people take it well?
Quote from: https://www.resetera.com/threads/any-college-professors-here.129460/post-22820644To give you some background, I hold 4 Bachelor's degrees; I did 3 from 04-09 in Political Science, Sociology, and Psychology. I then did an English undergrad between 2010-13, and followed that up with classwork toward a Master's in Literary and Textual Studies in '15-'17....As such, I feel downright solid in my credentials. I will finally wrap up my MA thesis this fall, as it was delayed by two years due to an aborted first attempt and a lot of life circumstances. I'm considering a PhD in Cultural Anthropology in a few years time.
FACT CHECK: Messofamango went on several dates with his arranged wife while being chaperoned by their parents
Quote from: BIONIC on July 17, 2019, 03:32:48 AMFACT CHECK: Messofamango went on several dates with his arranged wife while being chaperoned by their parents I dunno why y'all like to clown on messofanego, he's a lucky guy to end up marrying his type after such a long and fruitless search.I mean, sure, turns out his type is 'the woman his parents picked for him and her own parents forced to be with him', but still...
Cut that scum offLots of missing spines in this threadFact: supporting trump means you're a naziI'm suspecting OP is a troll thread, but at least plenty of people are showing their true colors in here.
Interesting that you talk about them sharing content from the likes of Breitbart. The propaganda machine is real.
https://www.resetera.com/threads/my-family-are-all-trump-supporters-is-time-for-me-to-leave.129368/page-6#post-22821408QuoteCut that scum offLots of missing spines in this threadFact: supporting trump means you're a naziI'm suspecting OP is a troll thread, but at least plenty of people are showing their true colors in here.
QuoteInteresting that you talk about them sharing content from the likes of Breitbart. The propaganda machine is real.how is that interesting
You can deny it all you want. We have technology that can prevent pregnancy as well as practical methods birth control. Take that away there would be a whole lot more pregnant ladies because that is the way it is designed. No one should be having sex without understanding and accepting the potential consequences.
(Image removed from quote.)
QuoteWhy doesnt Redlettermedia cover foreign movies? I don't follow them but if there's a clip of them specifically deriding the suggestion, I'd love to see it. Seems very discriminatory.I know, right? That's my point: they just dismiss them outright. I have the feeling that Jay might be a bit more open-minded towards them, but who knows. Certainly doesn't help their case at any rate.
Why doesnt Redlettermedia cover foreign movies? I don't follow them but if there's a clip of them specifically deriding the suggestion, I'd love to see it. Seems very discriminatory.
The only reason i still post in here, is because i like this community. For the most part.
QuoteThe only reason i still post in here, is because i like this community. For the most part.BRAVEhttps://www.resetera.com/threads/redlettermedia-ot-very-cruel.804/page-129#post-22821728
QuoteQuoteWhy doesnt Redlettermedia cover foreign movies? I don't follow them but if there's a clip of them specifically deriding the suggestion, I'd love to see it. Seems very discriminatory.I know, right? That's my point: they just dismiss them outright. I have the feeling that Jay might be a bit more open-minded towards them, but who knows. Certainly doesn't help their case at any rate.https://www.resetera.com/threads/a-critique-of-red-letter-media%E2%80%99s-bigoted-content-see-staff-post.129228/post-22821674
they mainly review mainstream hollywood blockbusters and genre films and don't ever really talk about movies outside of those two styles. was disappointed they didn't talk about three billboards at all, for instance.
QuoteFor example most people on this board are probably fatphobic and don't date or find overweight people attractive. Not because of some kind of inherent preference but because society told them to."We live in a society"
Sorry I'm being mean to racist sexist rapist pedo nazi enablers, I will try to be less black and white now
Quote from: AcornThis isn't something you should be seeking the input of strangers on a internet forum.And especially not this forum.
This isn't something you should be seeking the input of strangers on a internet forum.
living with the trumps would be a great comedy, a super liberal kid is adopted by the trump family, wackiness ensues.Ending either they learn to love each other and that maybe they're not all that badORLiberal turns to alt right trump supporter A joke would be that the kid just because they live with a trump supporting family gets punched by kids for being a "nazi" when they're not one. Where's my money Sony? Cast Adam Sandler if you want.
Quote from: Ghoul on July 17, 2019, 07:22:01 AMliving with the trumps would be a great comedy, a super liberal kid is adopted by the trump family, wackiness ensues.Ending either they learn to love each other and that maybe they're not all that badORLiberal turns to alt right trump supporter A joke would be that the kid just because they live with a trump supporting family gets punched by kids for being a "nazi" when they're not one. Where's my money Sony? Cast Adam Sandler if you want.featuring plots such as(Image removed from quote.)
https://www.resetera.com/threads/my-family-are-all-trump-supporters-is-time-for-me-to-leave.129368/post-22821912Quote from: ArjenQuote from: AcornThis isn't something you should be seeking the input of strangers on a internet forum.And especially not this forum. Is it just me or is there a groundswell of members who see that trashfire of a community for what it really is?Edit: If you want to see some comedy gold, follow that conversation between Shugga and Arjen down that whole page.
This thread is not producing quality discussion, so it has been locked.
Quote from: BIONIC on July 17, 2019, 03:32:48 AMFACT CHECK: Messofamango went on several dates with his arranged wife while being chaperoned by their parents You're actually not quite correct on this. Several indicates more than two. He went on two chaperoned dates before he got married. Which, whatever, if that's his culture - fine...but injecting himself into relationship threads regarding advice for normal people?
Hi Era, I just need a place to vent. I don't want to talk to my family just yet since they will most likely call me a idiot and such. I deserve it honestly, but I'm trying to give myself some time though.So a little background... I've been with my now former GF for 12 years. We have had a few ups and down over the years... some would probably say some extreme downs. About three years into the relationship she broke up with me because honestly it seemed like she had just gotten bored and wasn't sure we wanted the same things. There was someone else and I guess she just wanted to see if they were a better fit. She realized fairly early on that it wasn't what she wanted and that she had made a mistake. I, being hopelessly in love with her didn't really hesitate to take her back.Going forward 3-4 years we had a fairly good things going. We eventually had a kid (not planned) and bought a house. During the latter period of this time I struggled with knowing if this is what I wanted out of life. I've never really seen myself as the family man... or just in a relationship long terms. Always been a bit of a loner. I eventually let her know my feelings and you can say I broke up with her. Unfortunately being that we had a child and our finances intertwined we didn't really live apart or honestly change much of our dynamic besides that romantic aspect (and that honest fell through a few times). This awkward arrangement latest maybe a year.After some time in that strange arrangement I sort of came around. I guess I just realized what I was eventually going to lose so we got back together. We were both happy for some time. This is were I royally screwed though. At this point, we are both in are early 30s and throughout this entire relationship I know that she wants to get married, have more kids and all the stuff that's just normal to want out of life. Myself... I'm was just very indecisive about it all. I just kept putting it off... didn't talk about it much... became distant about the entire thing. We just drifted apart.. for maybe a year and a half. Yeah, I basically just ignored it all.A few weeks ago she tells me that she isn't happy and basically ask about all that stuff. I'm still being indecisive but I do tell her that I can't see myself having another child. I love our son, but I do want a future were I am free for parental obligations. I tell her that I know I had been distant and not communicating as much as I should have and that I would examine my behavior (she said I seemed depressed to her) and vowed to mend our relationship. I followed through, but it was too late.All weekend long I'm getting a strange vibe from her. I feel anxious and worried and I confront her about it. It's basically the same conversation, she notes my effort and she really appreciated it but she is not sure if she will ever feel right about the relationship again. Like a dumb ass I attempt to propose to her since I'm seeing my entire life crashing before my eyes and she stops me. She says if I ask her now she doesn't know what she will say. Not a good sign. She's already decided it's over... and here I am.Thanks to whoever took the time to read this. I feel strange right now. Haven't cried, but I feel unhinged. I'm sure it will hit me eventually. Probably when I'm trying to go to bed.
