Author Topic: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and  (Read 12222 times)

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Uncle

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:thinking

oh no, top of the page react :dead

you're a mod, just delete a random earlier post in the thread :doggy
Uncle

chronovore

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https://www.nbcwashington.com/news/local/5-fetuses-found-in-home-of-dc-anti-abortion-activist-police/3013443/

:mindblown

https://www.washingtonian.com/2022/04/05/lauren-handy-claims-she-actually-had-115-fetuses-in-her-apartment/

Imagine trying to convince the world that you should be in charge of morally determining others’ behavior, only to have to admit to being a cat lady that has other people’s stolen dead fetuses instead of cats.

Joe Molotov

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:thinking

oh no, top of the page react :dead

you're a mod, just delete a random earlier post in the thread :doggy

You're a genius.
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BIONIC

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:thinking

oh no, top of the page react :dead

you're a mod, just delete a random earlier post in the thread :doggy

You're a genius.

Can’t believe you deleted a James post that had five whole likes on it  :nintex
Margs

Joe Molotov

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No one post should have all those likes.
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Stones is telling the judge you can't serve because you see your sugar daddy every day.

https://nypost.com/2022/04/07/nikolas-cruz-juror-says-she-cant-be-on-jury-because-of-sugar-daddy/

(Married with sugar daddy.)

Joe Molotov

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The sigma female grindset, stack that paper, queen  :bowsette
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Potato

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Stones is telling the judge you can't serve because you see your sugar daddy every day.

https://nypost.com/2022/04/07/nikolas-cruz-juror-says-she-cant-be-on-jury-because-of-sugar-daddy/

(Married with sugar daddy.)
I'll tell you what, that judge can be my sugar mummy!!
 :whew :mouf
Spud

benjipwns

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EAST BREMERTON — A driver crashed a car into the front door of the Petco Store in a brazen theft of three ferrets over the weekend, according to Bremerton police.

Officers responded to the Wheaton Way location of the chain before 6 a.m. Sunday. Store management told police the only thing taken in the burglary were the three animals. The car that smashed into the store was gone before police arrived.

Though valued at $380 apiece, the vehicle caused approximately $10,000 in damages to the store's entrance, police said.

Staff at the store were both heartbroken and confused by the theft, but could not talk further to the media until consulting superiors.

Potato

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https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2022/apr/09/my-life-as-a-deer-geoffroy-delorme

The Guardian bring about as distinguished mentally-challenged as you would expect

Quote
When still a teenager, Geoffroy Delorme dropped out of his lonely childhood to live among the animals in the woods of Normandy – and stayed for seven years. What did it do to him?
Spud

benjipwns

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Kevin Berling took his former employer to court after claiming to suffer a panic attack and arguing that his stress caused him to lose his job, WLKY-TV reported. Jurors in Kenton County Circuit Court agreed this week and awarded Berling $450,000, the television station reported.

According to Berling, in August 2019 he asked the office manager of his employer, Covington-based Gravity Diagnostics, not to hold a birthday celebration for him, the Courier-Journal reported. Being the center of attention causes him immense stress, Berling said, according to court documents.

On Berling’s birthday, Aug. 7, 2021, his office arranged for a lunchtime party, WLKY reported. Berling said he suffered a panic attack after learning about the surprise luncheon, according to the television station.

“The person who was responsible for the birthday parties who he talked to flat out forgot about his request,” Berling’s attorney, Tony Bucher, told Link NKY. “She didn’t do it to be mean. She said she would accommodate it and she just forgot.”

According to court documents, Berling left the office and spent the lunch break in his car.

Berling sent a text message to the office manager, and the next day he was called into a meeting, WLKY reported.

“According to my client, she started reading him the riot act and accused him of stealing other co-workers’ joy,” Bucher told Link NKY. The meeting then triggered another panic attack, and Berling asked the office manager to stop, according to the lawsuit.

“The way (the Gravity Diagnostics employees) say it, they believed he was enraged and possibly about to get violent,” Bucher told Link NKY.

Bucher claimed that Berling did not make any threatening gestures, the website reported.

Berling said he was sent home for the next two days and was notified that weekend that he was being fired “because of the events of the previous week,” WLKY reported.

Berling sued Gravity Diagnostics on the grounds of disability discrimination and retaliation, according to court documents. According to the lawsuit, Berling said that since Gravity Diagnostics did not accommodate his anxiety disorder, the birthday party and the events afterward caused him “to suffer from a loss of income and benefits and emotional distress and mental anxiety.”

The $450,000 awarded by the jury included $300,000 for emotional distress and $150,000 for lost wages, WLKY reported.

Potato

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https://arizonadailyindependent.com/2022/04/14/scottsdales-dei-gurus-accuse-black-dj-of-wearing-blackface/

Quote
This week, an ASU instructor, and a librarian, who hold themselves out as being Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DEI) gurus, falsely accused a Black DJ of wearing blackface during a charity event for the Scottsdale Unified school district.

Stuart Rhoden and Jill Lassen attacked the Scottsdale Unified School District’s Hopi Elementary PTA for hiring Koko Kim Hunter to host their charity auction. The two were informed after their attack that Mr. Hunter is, in fact, a Black man, who was not wearing blackface.

Quote
Stuart Rhoden: “Let me be clear, a Black man, apparently in Black face is an entirely different discussion than a White person. However, I did not state that the person was White. It was assumed that was my intent, and perhaps it was, but nonetheless, looking on his FB page (photos below), it seems at the very least he is in darker make-up if not “Black face” or I am completely mistaken and it’s the lighting of the patio.”


The DJ:


https://mobile.twitter.com/AZ_Patriot_1776/status/1514305451147493383

« Last Edit: April 18, 2022, 06:32:24 PM by Potato »
Spud

Madrun Badrun

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https://calgaryherald.com/news/canada/canadian-astronauts-2022-federal-budget/wcm/a55f9b10-dce3-4cff-9572-e24c0997b49e?s=09

Canadian astronauts no longer free to rob and kill with abandon in space or on the moon
NtGay

Joe Molotov

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Always has been.
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benjipwns

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A Texas police department is asking the public for information on a man accused of stealing a lawnmower from a property and using it to mow the victim's lawn. Marcus Hubbard is wanted for the burglary of a building, according to the Port Arthur Police Department.

Hubbard was caught on security video burglarizing a home last month, the department said on its Facebook page. According to police, Hubbard took a lawnmower from the home "without owners' consent" and mowed their front and back yard.

When authorities arrived, Hubbard is accused of fleeing the area and bringing the lawnmower with him. He later left the lawnmower in an alley and evaded arrest, authorities said.

Potato

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A Texas police department is asking the public for information on a man accused of stealing a lawnmower from a property and using it to mow the victim's lawn. Marcus Hubbard is wanted for the burglary of a building, according to the Port Arthur Police Department.

Hubbard was caught on security video burglarizing a home last month, the department said on its Facebook page. According to police, Hubbard took a lawnmower from the home "without owners' consent" and mowed their front and back yard.

When authorities arrived, Hubbard is accused of fleeing the area and bringing the lawnmower with him. He later left the lawnmower in an alley and evaded arrest, authorities said.
That guy can rob me anytime
Spud

Cauliflower Of Love

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Picture of the perp:



benjipwns

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POLK COUNTY, Tenn. (WGCL/CNN Newsource/WKRC) - Imagine waking up in your bed in the morning to find out the dog you've been snuggling with isn't yours.

That's exactly what happened to one Tennessee woman this week.

Jimmy Johnson opened his eyes and didn't recognize the dog sleeping in their bed.

"I rolled over on my side of the bed, and said, 'No, no, no that's not our dog,'" said Julie Johnson.

A strange canine quietly came into their house un-invited.
Doggo got back home though. :heart

Joe Molotov

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It's like a really wholesome creepypasta.

THEN WHO WAS DOG??
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james

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:O

Madrun Badrun

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https://www.cbc.ca/news/business/amazon-childrens-clothes-sexually-explicit-1.6447739

Clothing was modelled by children and displayed the message 'I love c--k'
NtGay

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benjipwns

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What started as an a loud complaint from the customer turned into an argument with the Publix cashier, who suggested he go to another checkout on his next visit if he had a problem with cashiers serving customers with more than 10 items in the express lane.

In the first video, the customer shouts, “10 or fewer,” repeatedly while waiting in line.

The second clip shows him checking out, still arguing with the employee. “If you don’t like it you don’t have to come through my line, either,” the cashier urges.

Another employee asks what the problem is, and the cashier explains the man’s issue. “They had like 50 items, it says ten,” the customer says, pointing to the sign on the express checkout station.
Videos at the link.

Potato

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The customer is NOT always right...but in this instance he was.
Spud

Joe Molotov

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benjipwns

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June 24 (UPI) -- Visitors to a park in California's Los Angeles County have been dealing with an unusual problem in recent weeks -- constant attacks from dive-bombing crows.

Multiple visitors to Noble Park in Hermosa Beach reported being dive-bombed by crows in recent weeks, with some saying the birds were most likely to attack dog-walkers.

"They're just coming out of the trees and kind of dive-bombing you and trying to get you out of the park," Dan Cohen, who was recently attacked by the crows, told NBC Los Angeles.

The crows haven't caused any serious injuries, but the Beach House Hotel, located across the street from the park, hired a falconer to use his trained hawk to scare the birds away twice a week.

The falconer, James Andrade, said the crows have even attempted to mob his hawk, Richter.

Hap Shaughnessy

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https://www.cra-racing.com/2022/08/jegs-cra-all-stars-tour-at-anderson-speedway-saturday-for-the-fudge-packer-100/

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The JEGS/CRA All-Stars Tour Presented by Chevrolet Performance will return to action this Saturday in the Fudge Packer 100 Presented by Uranus Fudge Factory at Anderson Speedway located in Anderson, Indiana.
QOFM

Madrun Badrun

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