Author Topic: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and  (Read 19273 times)

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Uncle

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:thinking

oh no, top of the page react :dead

you're a mod, just delete a random earlier post in the thread :doggy
Uncle

chronovore

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https://www.nbcwashington.com/news/local/5-fetuses-found-in-home-of-dc-anti-abortion-activist-police/3013443/

:mindblown

https://www.washingtonian.com/2022/04/05/lauren-handy-claims-she-actually-had-115-fetuses-in-her-apartment/

Imagine trying to convince the world that you should be in charge of morally determining others’ behavior, only to have to admit to being a cat lady that has other people’s stolen dead fetuses instead of cats.

Joe Molotov

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:thinking

oh no, top of the page react :dead

you're a mod, just delete a random earlier post in the thread :doggy

You're a genius.
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BIONIC

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:thinking

oh no, top of the page react :dead

you're a mod, just delete a random earlier post in the thread :doggy

You're a genius.

Can’t believe you deleted a James post that had five whole likes on it  :nintex
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Joe Molotov

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No one post should have all those likes.
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Stones is telling the judge you can't serve because you see your sugar daddy every day.

https://nypost.com/2022/04/07/nikolas-cruz-juror-says-she-cant-be-on-jury-because-of-sugar-daddy/

(Married with sugar daddy.)

Joe Molotov

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The sigma female grindset, stack that paper, queen  :bowsette
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Potato

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Stones is telling the judge you can't serve because you see your sugar daddy every day.

https://nypost.com/2022/04/07/nikolas-cruz-juror-says-she-cant-be-on-jury-because-of-sugar-daddy/

(Married with sugar daddy.)
I'll tell you what, that judge can be my sugar mummy!!
 :whew :mouf
Spud

benjipwns

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EAST BREMERTON — A driver crashed a car into the front door of the Petco Store in a brazen theft of three ferrets over the weekend, according to Bremerton police.

Officers responded to the Wheaton Way location of the chain before 6 a.m. Sunday. Store management told police the only thing taken in the burglary were the three animals. The car that smashed into the store was gone before police arrived.

Though valued at $380 apiece, the vehicle caused approximately $10,000 in damages to the store's entrance, police said.

Staff at the store were both heartbroken and confused by the theft, but could not talk further to the media until consulting superiors.

Potato

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https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2022/apr/09/my-life-as-a-deer-geoffroy-delorme

The Guardian bring about as distinguished mentally-challenged as you would expect

Quote
When still a teenager, Geoffroy Delorme dropped out of his lonely childhood to live among the animals in the woods of Normandy – and stayed for seven years. What did it do to him?
Spud

benjipwns

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Kevin Berling took his former employer to court after claiming to suffer a panic attack and arguing that his stress caused him to lose his job, WLKY-TV reported. Jurors in Kenton County Circuit Court agreed this week and awarded Berling $450,000, the television station reported.

According to Berling, in August 2019 he asked the office manager of his employer, Covington-based Gravity Diagnostics, not to hold a birthday celebration for him, the Courier-Journal reported. Being the center of attention causes him immense stress, Berling said, according to court documents.

On Berling’s birthday, Aug. 7, 2021, his office arranged for a lunchtime party, WLKY reported. Berling said he suffered a panic attack after learning about the surprise luncheon, according to the television station.

“The person who was responsible for the birthday parties who he talked to flat out forgot about his request,” Berling’s attorney, Tony Bucher, told Link NKY. “She didn’t do it to be mean. She said she would accommodate it and she just forgot.”

According to court documents, Berling left the office and spent the lunch break in his car.

Berling sent a text message to the office manager, and the next day he was called into a meeting, WLKY reported.

“According to my client, she started reading him the riot act and accused him of stealing other co-workers’ joy,” Bucher told Link NKY. The meeting then triggered another panic attack, and Berling asked the office manager to stop, according to the lawsuit.

“The way (the Gravity Diagnostics employees) say it, they believed he was enraged and possibly about to get violent,” Bucher told Link NKY.

Bucher claimed that Berling did not make any threatening gestures, the website reported.

Berling said he was sent home for the next two days and was notified that weekend that he was being fired “because of the events of the previous week,” WLKY reported.

Berling sued Gravity Diagnostics on the grounds of disability discrimination and retaliation, according to court documents. According to the lawsuit, Berling said that since Gravity Diagnostics did not accommodate his anxiety disorder, the birthday party and the events afterward caused him “to suffer from a loss of income and benefits and emotional distress and mental anxiety.”

The $450,000 awarded by the jury included $300,000 for emotional distress and $150,000 for lost wages, WLKY reported.

Potato

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https://arizonadailyindependent.com/2022/04/14/scottsdales-dei-gurus-accuse-black-dj-of-wearing-blackface/

Quote
This week, an ASU instructor, and a librarian, who hold themselves out as being Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DEI) gurus, falsely accused a Black DJ of wearing blackface during a charity event for the Scottsdale Unified school district.

Stuart Rhoden and Jill Lassen attacked the Scottsdale Unified School District’s Hopi Elementary PTA for hiring Koko Kim Hunter to host their charity auction. The two were informed after their attack that Mr. Hunter is, in fact, a Black man, who was not wearing blackface.

Quote
Stuart Rhoden: “Let me be clear, a Black man, apparently in Black face is an entirely different discussion than a White person. However, I did not state that the person was White. It was assumed that was my intent, and perhaps it was, but nonetheless, looking on his FB page (photos below), it seems at the very least he is in darker make-up if not “Black face” or I am completely mistaken and it’s the lighting of the patio.”


The DJ:


https://mobile.twitter.com/AZ_Patriot_1776/status/1514305451147493383

« Last Edit: April 18, 2022, 06:32:24 PM by Potato »
Spud

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https://calgaryherald.com/news/canada/canadian-astronauts-2022-federal-budget/wcm/a55f9b10-dce3-4cff-9572-e24c0997b49e?s=09

Canadian astronauts no longer free to rob and kill with abandon in space or on the moon

Joe Molotov

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Always has been.
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benjipwns

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A Texas police department is asking the public for information on a man accused of stealing a lawnmower from a property and using it to mow the victim's lawn. Marcus Hubbard is wanted for the burglary of a building, according to the Port Arthur Police Department.

Hubbard was caught on security video burglarizing a home last month, the department said on its Facebook page. According to police, Hubbard took a lawnmower from the home "without owners' consent" and mowed their front and back yard.

When authorities arrived, Hubbard is accused of fleeing the area and bringing the lawnmower with him. He later left the lawnmower in an alley and evaded arrest, authorities said.

Potato

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A Texas police department is asking the public for information on a man accused of stealing a lawnmower from a property and using it to mow the victim's lawn. Marcus Hubbard is wanted for the burglary of a building, according to the Port Arthur Police Department.

Hubbard was caught on security video burglarizing a home last month, the department said on its Facebook page. According to police, Hubbard took a lawnmower from the home "without owners' consent" and mowed their front and back yard.

When authorities arrived, Hubbard is accused of fleeing the area and bringing the lawnmower with him. He later left the lawnmower in an alley and evaded arrest, authorities said.
That guy can rob me anytime
Spud

Cauliflower Of Love

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Picture of the perp:



benjipwns

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POLK COUNTY, Tenn. (WGCL/CNN Newsource/WKRC) - Imagine waking up in your bed in the morning to find out the dog you've been snuggling with isn't yours.

That's exactly what happened to one Tennessee woman this week.

Jimmy Johnson opened his eyes and didn't recognize the dog sleeping in their bed.

"I rolled over on my side of the bed, and said, 'No, no, no that's not our dog,'" said Julie Johnson.

A strange canine quietly came into their house un-invited.
Doggo got back home though. :heart

Joe Molotov

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It's like a really wholesome creepypasta.

THEN WHO WAS DOG??
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james

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:O

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https://www.cbc.ca/news/business/amazon-childrens-clothes-sexually-explicit-1.6447739

Clothing was modelled by children and displayed the message 'I love c--k'


benjipwns

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What started as an a loud complaint from the customer turned into an argument with the Publix cashier, who suggested he go to another checkout on his next visit if he had a problem with cashiers serving customers with more than 10 items in the express lane.

In the first video, the customer shouts, “10 or fewer,” repeatedly while waiting in line.

The second clip shows him checking out, still arguing with the employee. “If you don’t like it you don’t have to come through my line, either,” the cashier urges.

Another employee asks what the problem is, and the cashier explains the man’s issue. “They had like 50 items, it says ten,” the customer says, pointing to the sign on the express checkout station.
Videos at the link.

Potato

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The customer is NOT always right...but in this instance he was.
Spud

Joe Molotov

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benjipwns

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June 24 (UPI) -- Visitors to a park in California's Los Angeles County have been dealing with an unusual problem in recent weeks -- constant attacks from dive-bombing crows.

Multiple visitors to Noble Park in Hermosa Beach reported being dive-bombed by crows in recent weeks, with some saying the birds were most likely to attack dog-walkers.

"They're just coming out of the trees and kind of dive-bombing you and trying to get you out of the park," Dan Cohen, who was recently attacked by the crows, told NBC Los Angeles.

The crows haven't caused any serious injuries, but the Beach House Hotel, located across the street from the park, hired a falconer to use his trained hawk to scare the birds away twice a week.

The falconer, James Andrade, said the crows have even attempted to mob his hawk, Richter.

Hap Shaughnessy

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https://www.cra-racing.com/2022/08/jegs-cra-all-stars-tour-at-anderson-speedway-saturday-for-the-fudge-packer-100/

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The JEGS/CRA All-Stars Tour Presented by Chevrolet Performance will return to action this Saturday in the Fudge Packer 100 Presented by Uranus Fudge Factory at Anderson Speedway located in Anderson, Indiana.
OBE

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benjipwns

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Debby Foster was surprised to see two people carrying a cat carrier into Cat Rescue Dunedin. She soon found out why.

Inside the carrier was Tilly, an 11.6kg behemoth.

When Foster took her to the vet the following day, she couldn’t lift the cat carrier with one hand.

Tilly was so large she struggled to clean herself and her rear was covered in dags. Her body fat prevented the vet from detecting her heartbeat.

“She was the largest cat our vet has ever seen,” said Foster.

The vet used a chart numbered one (too thin) to nine (too fat) to determine her body shape.

“She was a ten. Every girl wants to be a ten.”
Quote
“She is surprisingly agile given how fat she is,” Gould said.

“She is determined, but she has a fat cat waddle.”
Quote
Despite the challenges she faced, Tilly “just loves all the cuddles and attention”.



 :heart :heart :heart :heart

benjipwns

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Skullfuckers Anonymous

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benjipwns

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Madrun Badrun

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Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
« Reply #214 on: September 21, 2022, 10:46:17 AM »
Whale stranding: 230 whales stranded on Tasmanian beach

https://www.bbc.com/news/world-australia-62976749


sad news but doesn't really belong anywhere else

Potato

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Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
« Reply #215 on: September 26, 2022, 05:50:26 PM »
Mermaiding provides freedom and empowerment in the water for Nicola and her merpod

https://www.abc.net.au/everyday/mermaiding-provides-freedom-and-empowerment-in-the-water/101367580






Spud


benjipwns

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Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
« Reply #217 on: September 29, 2022, 09:50:36 PM »
https://apnews.com/article/business-boston-spiders-ebay-inc-david-steiner-64e9dabdc9e11b71eee6d688c2f2bff7
Quote
The scheme was hatched in August 2019 after Ina Steiner wrote a story about a lawsuit brought by eBay accusing Amazon of poaching its sellers. A half-hour after the article was published, then-CEO Devin Wenig sent another top eBay executive a message saying: “If you are ever going to take her down ... now is the time,” according to court documents. That executive sent Wenig’s message to Baugh and called Ina Steiner a “biased troll who needs to get BURNED DOWN.”

Soon, Ina Steiner began receiving harassing and sometimes threatening Twitter messages. Bizarre anonymous packages started arriving at the couple’s home, including a box of live spiders, a funeral wreath and a book about surviving the loss of a spouse. Ina Steiner began receiving dozens of strange emails from groups like an irritable bowel syndrome patient support group and the Communist Party of the United States, authorities say.

Authorities portrayed Baugh as the mastermind of the scheme and said he directed eBay employees to use prepaid debit cards, disguises and overseas email accounts to hide the company’s involvement.

Baugh then recruited Harville to go with him to Boston to spy on the couple, authorities say. Baugh, Harville and another eBay employee went to the couple’s home in the hopes of installing a GPS tracker on their car but the garage was locked, so Harville bought tools with a plan to break into it, prosecutors say.

Harville’s attorneys said he had no involvement in or knowledge about the threatening messages or deliveries sent by his colleagues.

Prosecutors said in court documents that although Harville wasn’t at the initial meetings about the scheme, “he was aware enough of the harassment by the time he was in Boston to joke with Baugh about delivering a bag of human feces, a running chain saw, and a rat” to their porch.
I'd say this is a bit of an excessive response to criticism from a blog/newsletter that's been covering your site since 1999. :lol

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https://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-63304390

Japan heritage worker backs car into oldest toilet at Kyoto temple

Tasty

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BREAKING:
https://twitter.com/Newsweek/status/1503510441133326340
On Saturday, during a matinee performance at The Carriagework Theatre put on by the Bite My Thumb theater company, an audience member left, according to Bite My Thumb.

The audience member left during the performance of "Today 4 U, Tomorrow 4 Me," sung by the drag queen character Angel. The leaving theatergoer told a staff member they were leaving because "I didn't realise this show was about gays."

I mean, one of the more popular anti-Rent arguments circulating these days is that it kinda isn't. HIV/AIDS features heavily but the two gay chars are pretty much sidelined and feel pretty token... And the bi woman (she's bi) just wants to bang everything and everyone.

Important for representation at the time, but Rent honestly does not live up to it's uber-gay reputation.

Not that this audience member would know any of this...

chronovore

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https://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-63304390

Japan heritage worker backs car into oldest toilet at Kyoto temple
SEPPUKU TAIMU

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https://6abc.com/philadelphia-phillies-nlcs-world-series-game-5/12364962/

City officials grease light poles ahead of possible Phillies celebrations

Joe Molotov

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https://www.cnn.com/2022/10/26/asia/worlds-dirtiest-man-dies-iran-haji-scli-intl/index.html

Quote
An Iranian hermit known as “the world’s dirtiest man” has died at the ripe age of 94, just months after taking his first wash in decades, Iranian state media announced.

Haji was known for his staunch stance against bathing: A few years ago, when a group of villagers took him to a nearby river in an attempt to bathe him, he threw himself out of the car and ran away.

Locals in the area all treated him and his condition with respect, IRNA reported, understanding that his fear of getting sick was the reason he avoided water.

A few months ago, villagers successfully gave Haji a wash.

Haji was unmarried.

rest in power, king  :tocry
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BIONIC

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Killed off to take attention away from the protests  ::)

Mullahs ain’t slick  :ufup
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Tasty

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just months after taking his first wash in decades

The bath killed him :ohhh

Reminds me of Courage the Cowardly Dog.



benjipwns

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A painting by abstract Dutch artist Piet Mondrian has been hanging upside down in various museums since it was first put on display 75 years ago, an art historian has found, but warned it could disintegrate if it was hung the right side up now.

The 1941 picture, a complex interlacing lattice of red, yellow, black and blue adhesive tapes titled New York City I, was first put on display at New York’s MoMA in 1945 but has hung at the art collection of the German federal state of North Rhine-Westphalia in Düsseldorf since 1980.

The way the picture is currently hung shows the multicoloured lines thickening at the bottom, suggesting an extremely simplified version of a skyline. However, when curator Susanne Meyer-Büser started researching the museum’s new show on the Dutch avant garde artist earlier this year, she realised the picture should be the other way around.

“The thickening of the grid should be at the top, like a dark sky,” said Meyer-Büser. “Once I pointed it out to the other curators, we realised it was very obvious. I am 100% certain the picture is the wrong way around.”


benjipwns

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Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
« Reply #228 on: November 06, 2022, 01:27:55 AM »
Nov. 4 (UPI) -- A reptile wrangler was summoned to an Australian home where a resident discovered the cause of a moving microwave was a pair of mating pythons.

A video posted to Facebook shows Stuart McKenzie of Sunshine Coast Snake Catchers responding to a home in Buderim where a woman discovered two carpet pythons in the throes of passion in her kitchen.

The snake catching business said the woman noticed her microwave had moved and looked behind it to find the pair of mating snakes.

chronovore

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Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
« Reply #229 on: November 06, 2022, 11:25:28 PM »
“Snake catching business” at first I thought this was Australian slang for the snake on the receiving end of the mating.

benjipwns

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Propagandhim

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Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
« Reply #231 on: November 14, 2022, 02:18:22 PM »
https://twitter.com/BNODesk/status/1592230231623860224

I didn't know where to put this.  It's a dumb or rather inconsequential news story but it isn't amusing.

benjipwns

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Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
« Reply #232 on: November 19, 2022, 11:06:09 PM »
A herd of sheep in China has been walking in a circle for almost two weeks now, and no one seems to really know why.

(Image removed from quote.)

The bizarre behavior was captured on surveillance video at a sheep farm in northern China’s Inner Mongolia region. In a video released on Wednesday by Chinese state-run news outlet People’s Daily, dozens of shep can be seen walking clockwise in a large circle, as other animals stare from outside the circle or at times stand motionless in the middle of it. Although it has been reported that the sheep appear to be perfectly healthy, it’s unclear if the animals ever stop to eat and drink, and if others take their place in the circle when that happens.

The owner of the sheep farm, identified as Ms. Miao, told reporters that the bizarre spectacle began on November 4, with just a handful of sheep, but that in the following days dozens of others joined in. Interestingly, although the farm consists of 34 sheep pens, only those in number 13 have been acting strangely.

benjipwns

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Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
« Reply #233 on: November 27, 2022, 10:42:10 PM »
(CBS DETROIT) - In honor of the seven-day Kwanzaa celebration, the City of Detroit is constructing the Motor City Kwanzaa Kinara.

City officials say it will be the world's largest Kinara, reaching 30 feet tall. The structure will sit in the SW Garden of Campus Martius.

...

"Detroit is a city that embraces its rich diversity. We are thrilled that this year we will have on display the world's largest Kinara, which will join the world's largest Menorah and our state's largest Christmas tree, as people of all backgrounds come downtown to celebrate their faith and culture this holiday season," Mayor Mike Duggan said in a statement.
At this point they should just fill all the vacant space with dumb large religious items.

Also, why only the state's largest? #WarOnChristmas

benjipwns

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Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
« Reply #234 on: November 27, 2022, 10:52:55 PM »
At this point they should just fill all the vacant space with dumb large religious items.
Specifically, Detroit should buy this off Turkmenistan: https://www.atlasobscura.com/places/giant-ruhnama

benjipwns

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chronovore

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https://www.nbcnews.com/tech/internet/justin-roiland-rick-morty-allegations-domestic-violence-charges-rcna65403

I’d be really sad if Rowland turns out to be a turd. Harmon is problematic enough on his own.

benjipwns

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https://twitter.com/DallasZoo/status/1614043285818834947
Nova, a clouded leopard missing from the Dallas Zoo, was found late Friday afternoon following a day of searching, but the mystery of how she escaped is still being pieced together.

Police said Friday the leopard’s enclosure was “intentionally cut,” after law enforcement and zoo officials determined that the 25-pound cat’s escape was not a result of negligence by a zookeeper, a problem with the enclosure itself or her own breakout attempt.

Officials searching the zoo grounds found Nova near her original habitat at 4:40 p.m. She seemed to be uninjured and was being evaluated by the zoo’s veterinarians, said zoo spokesperson Kari Streiber.

“We’re thrilled,” Dallas Police Sgt. Warren Mitchell told The Washington Post. “They worked all day long trying to locate the animal, and we’re just glad that it has returned to its habitat.”

Smaller than a bobcat but larger than a house cat, the clouded leopard is not considered a threat to people and is generally elusive, preferring to stay in trees. Zoo officials had said Nova, who is spotted and a tawny gold, was likely to be found in a tree if she were around the zoo or in a neighborhood.

Mitchell said he believed the cat had been located around feeding time, and that the zoo had set traps in hopes that she would enter one when hungry. It took about 35 minutes to capture the leopard after finding her, according to Streiber.
Kitty came back when it was time to eat. :heart

benjipwns

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Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
« Reply #238 on: February 02, 2023, 02:01:25 PM »
Two junior varsity girls basketball coaches are out of a job at a Virginia high school after the assistant coach was alleged to have suited up and played in a game.

Portsmouth Public Schools got a report from administrators at Nansemond River High School that a member of Churchland High School’s junior varsity coaching staff “took part in the game” on Jan. 21, district spokesperson Lauren Nolasco said.

...

Boykins, 22, was the Churchland assistant coach accused of posing as a student in the game against Nansemond River, NBC affiliate WAVY of Portsmouth reported. The actual player missed the game because of an out-of-town club tournament, her parents told the station.

Boykins was hired in August. Her last day with the school was Wednesday, Nolasco said. The head coach of the girls basketball team is also no longer employed, Nolasco said.

...

After the incident, Churchland staff members met with the parents and players on the junior varsity and varsity teams. The group decided they did not want to continue the basketball season, Nolasco said.

"The teams’ remaining opponents and officials have been notified," she said.