Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and

[Joe Molotov]

https://twitter.com/nypost/status/1606774170876002305

Nice!

[benjipwns]

Page Six hears that a serial pooper has been stalking the halls of the legendary Shubert Theater — and the last time they struck, a turd appeared in the aisle near Hillary and Chelsea Clinton at “Some Like It Hot.”

A source close to the show insists that it was a regrettable one-off incident.

But another source tells us that the theater’s staff said that the s–t’s (almost) hit the fans at other performances as well.

“Last week when Hillary and Chelsea Clinton were in the audience,” said a source, “the lights came up for intermission and there were two human turds in the aisle just near the famous political duo.”

The insider added, “The house crew dealt with it very appropriately and quickly, and Hillary and Chelsea remained in the theater for the second act.”

[Cauliflower Of Love]

she's running

[Joe Molotov]

she's running

Hillary, Chelsea, or the pooper?

[BIONIC]

she's running

Hillary, Chelsea, or the pooper?

Can you determine the sex of the pooper by testing the poop?

[benjipwns]

[Potato]

https://www.foxsports.com.au/nrl/nrl-premiership/teams/tigers/i-am-disappointed-tigers-defend-anzac-commemorative-jersey-with-nonaussie-soldiers-on-the-front/news-story/042a016bd2325111a35969b703a75f96

Wests Tigers have defended their use of a stock image of American soldiers on the front of their commemorative jersey for this year’s Anzac Round.

Eagle-eyed fans shared on social media photos of the new jersey which features two unidentified soldiers in a desert environment.

But based on the uniforms and weaponry pictured the soldiers are American, not Australian, which has seen the club come in for criticism.

However the Tigers worked with Holsworthy Army Barracks in Sydney to create the design and have the ANZAC elements approved, with the photo - available for sale - meant to broadly “depict the modern-day soldier serving in a desert environment”.

“They’re carrying an M240B machine gun where the Australians have I think it’s an F89 and a MAG58,” Paul Kent explained on NRL 360.

“It’s a stock image that the Tigers have put on there, I’ve spoken to them today. Basically they’ve told us what’s happened is ... they collaborated with Holsworthy Army Barracks who saw all this, endorsed it.

Big fucking Ls all round here

[benjipwns]

May 2 (UPI) -- A Michigan woman walking her dog on a trail said a pair of emus appeared from the woods and chased her for about half a mile.

Kate Buning said she and her dog, a pug mix, were walking on the Pere Marquette Rail Trail in North Bradley, northwest of Midland when a pair of emus suddenly appeared nearby.

Buning snapped a photo of the flightless Australian birds before they started walking toward her.

"I was terrified," Buning told MLive.

She said the emus followed as she retreated and became more aggressive, chasing her for about a half a mile. Buning said the emus gave up their pursuit when she arrived at a road access point.

Buning contacted the Midland County Sheriff's Office.

"There was no physical contact between the caller and the emus, so neither the caller or the emus were injured," Midland County Sheriff Myron Greene told WNEM-TV.

[Skullfuckers Anonymous]

One easy trick to get out of paying your bills.

https://twitter.com/ArkTimes/status/1653470625069973515