Non-binary is one of these things I just don’t understand. Doesn’t it require super strict gendr roles to “work“?
It really can't mean anything that I can see. If gender is binary then you can't be non-binary gender. If gender is not binary then everyone is non-binary and calling yourself that is meaningless. What's the other option here? It's just people saying "I belong to a group that's special" and the way they outline who is in this group is that the people are declaring themselves special.
So much of this identity stuff is contradictory like this. The racial essentialism is the same thing. You both can't deviate without betraying your identity as false but also demand to be treated as a deviation because short hand stereotypes and statistical averages aren't true or essential.
That Ezra Miller thread has derailed from the post Jansen linked into "you wouldn't misgender a cis person would you?" But this misgendering a cis person isn't an offense because they aren't holding out their gender/sex as an essential component of who they are as a person. (Well, usually...) The question is illustrative, but not in the way they think because why would a cis person correct you if you misgendered them, because you were making an assumption based on their gender right? "Of course a man thinks Bayonetta isn't offensive." "Actually, I'm a woman." It's adding relevant information. What's incelsiorlef going "actually I'm a woman" when someone says "they're fucking stupid and make shitty threads" or somebody saying "Ezra Miller is non-binary" when they say "he literally ate a teenager he kidnapped" doing to add similar information? That's why they're dropping back to "well, SOMEONE IS POSSIBLY BEING HURT" so they can take offense at something actually unrelated supposedly to spare all these people being harmed even though nobody said anything about them in the first place.
The TQIA2S+ argument apparently demands that you treat it as the essential characteristic that might even supersede all other things you can learn about a person. So misgendering a person is criminal because you're denying their most cherished characteristic isn't essential. Ezra Miller being seemingly insane isn't the most essential characteristic, the pronouns he wishes to be addressed by are. And even though Ezra Miller won't read the thread (though he fits the ResetERA.com demographic) think of the other trans and non-binary people who are being hurt by knowing that you don't consider Ezra Miller's pronouns to be his essential characteristic as a person but instead his behavior. All these third parties are being
harmed by you not seeing a person who isn't them as
that person wants to be seen. They throw fits when someone says "not all men" or "not all cops" or "not all white people" while also lecturing about the criminal offense of not considering other trans or non-binary people when "disrespecting" a lunatic trans or non-binary person for their behavior. It's not about them yet they feel hurt by it? And because they feel hurt by it even when it's not about them, it should dictate all the norms and rules?
It's really hard to find some explanation for all this that isn't abusive behavior by narcissists seeking power of any kind. Simple ignorance and stupidity wouldn't explain the consistency I don't think, errors would be made. People just trying to be good to others wouldn't explain why they so quickly want to seek the use or threat of force to create the illusion of mandatory compliance. I think that's why it's so immediately off putting and feels oppressive. Because it is.