Elon Bought Twitter- X GON GIVE IT TO YA

[who is ted danson?]

I also think the checkmark charging system will just cause more bot chaos.

If Stephen King etc don't pay up, there'll be thousands of BTC, porn, etc bots mimicking his profile. Idiots will click all the links, and twitters janny team is going to have to 100x in size to handle it because some teen clicked a "Stephen King" link and ended up on pornhub.

[Boredfrom]

lol it used to be free. 

Bluemarks are a problem… but this is gonna backfire.

Your hate blind you.

[james]

https://twitter.com/elonmusk/status/1587499283573530625

Crazy how popular Twitter is in Argentina

[Propagandhim]

lol it used to be free. 

Bluemarks are a problem… but this is gonna backfire.

Your hate blind you.

BoredFrom, why are you so intent on avoiding the fact that it will inject a much-needed impetus for conscious decision making of its users into this website.  More thoughtful intentionality on a website that essentially runs on addiction-validation is a good thing.  It's a good thing that people will have to stop and think about if they want to directly support the owner and platform they disagree with.   The exposure of having to put your money on the table is a good contingency for thoughtful decisions.   This website is so obnoxious because it's completely thoughtless - people farm likes and retweets using the most provactive and smarmy 250 or whatever character wordbites.  Everyone tries to be a fucking comedian.  People have their reputations destroyed by thoughtless mobs engaging in collective smothering that costs each of them nothing - and bluechecks get to lead those mobs.  It will turn the incessant Elon shittalkers into obvious hypocrites the moment they have to decide if a shiny badge on a website is worth more than their pretend-convictions that they constantly tweet about. 

There is NO downside to any of this.  The conclusion is self-evident: If this destroys the website, it needed to be destroyed because it would mean it was worthless shit to begin with.

[Uncle]

https://twitter.com/elonmusk/status/1587499283573530625

People will predictably complain that some checkmarks are billionaires like Joanne and others are starving artists, no matter the country, so this makes no sense.  Because Twitter is a beloved essential public institution, Elon needs to take up the mantle of being the world's corporate egalitarian and do it by average income by ethnicity, according to aggregate census data in sample countries.  *crowd goes wild*    "Err, hold on American Jews and Indians you will have to pay quite a bit more than others.   How much more?  That's up to our new social media treasury rep, Mr. Kanye West.   Kanye, you have the floor!"

era types should cheer "price adjusted by country proportionate to purchasing power parity"

[Uncle]

There is NO downside to any of this.  The conclusion is self-evident: If this destroys the website, it needed to be destroyed because it would mean it was worthless shit to begin with.

well, it has the same downside as era clear or neogaf gold: is there an internal "second/third/fourth chance" for rulebreakers who are paying customers

[Propagandhim]

There is NO downside to any of this.  The conclusion is self-evident: If this destroys the website, it needed to be destroyed because it would mean it was worthless shit to begin with.

well, it has the same downside as era clear or neogaf gold: is there an internal "second/third/fourth chance" for rulebreakers who are paying customers

They already give bluechecks priority in that, priority in getting customer support when they're actioned, and priority in visibility on replies.  The question is, is it fair that people get priority now that it costs money, as opposed to getting priority solely because your account is worth more than everyone else's because you're verified on a free account?   Seems just as unfair to me.

[Uncle]

lol lool loool

[HaughtyFrank]

https://twitter.com/elonmusk/status/1587505731611262976

Interesting

[Boredfrom]

lol it used to be free. 

Bluemarks are a problem… but this is gonna backfire.

Your hate blind you.

BoredFrom, why are you so intent on avoiding the fact that it will inject a much-needed impetus for conscious decision making of its users into this website.  More thoughtful intentionality on a website that essentially runs on addiction-validation is a good thing.  It's a good thing that people will have to stop and think about if they want to directly support the owner and platform they disagree with.   The exposure of having to put your money on the table is a good contingency for thoughtful decisions.   This website is so obnoxious because it's completely thoughtless - people farm likes and retweets using the most provactive and smarmy 250 or whatever character wordbites.  Everyone tries to be a fucking comedian.  People have their reputations destroyed by thoughtless mobs engaging in collective smothering that costs each of them nothing - and bluechecks get to lead those mobs.  It will turn the incessant Elon shittalkers into obvious hypocrites the moment they have to decide if a shiny badge on a website is worth more than their pretend-convictions that they constantly tweet about. 

There is NO downside to any of this.  The conclusion is self-evident: If this destroys the website, it needed to be destroyed because it would mean it was worthless shit to begin with.

I don’t need to celebrate Elon or get mad that Stephen King doesn’t want to pay for the blue mark.

[Propagandhim]

yea you do

[Boredfrom]

yea you do

Why? I don’t even use twitter anymore, and way before Elon took over. 

I’m just laughing of Elon getting reduced to do car salesman pitch to Stephen King, and somehow people are mad at Stephen King because… ?

[Propagandhim]

 

[Tasty]

(Image removed from quote.)

lol lool loool

PLEASE

[benjipwns]

https://twitter.com/katienotopoulos/status/1587465303319003141

[Nintex]

https://twitter.com/CultureCrave/status/1587700633473163264

Nature is healing, thank you Elon

[Kurt Russell]

(Image removed from quote.)

Now make the fence ten feet high and you've essentially created Socialism the comic.

[Phoenix Dark]

I'm not sure whether he's just abjectly stupid or deliberately sabotaging the platform to drive certain people away. It's clear that facts don't matter to him and he will not back down on being wrong. He was wrong about bots before the purchase and is still wrong; I'd imagine multiple engineers have shown him the data over the last week. He doesn't understand the point of the blue check system, which was to entice celebs (by preventing them from being drowned in thousands of replies/notifications to their posts) and provide verified accounts the ability to tweet out news/information (politicians, news and sports journalists, etc).

So the result will be a flood of troll/spam blue checks posting fake news. Fake Woj accounts announcing fake NBA trades, fake Fox News accounts announcing the death of world leaders, etc. Elon has said that scam/fake accounts will lose their blue check but we've all been on the internet long enough to know that's not going to stop what's coming. Perhaps more importantly none of this adds up to a big enough financial incentive for this to make sense. I'm sure some true believers will purchase a blue check. Most people won't.

[HaughtyFrank]

I get the feeling everyone has turned off their thinking skills

https://twitter.com/AOC/status/1587647032457449473

Like does she not understand that it's $8 for the verified mark, not for posting at all?

That said...

https://twitter.com/elonmusk/status/1587627120355934208

Now Musk himself is presenting it like you'd have to pay $8 to keep posting.

Does no one understand what is going on?

[Uncle]

"it" being the blue check I guess

[Uncle]

people correcting AOC in her replies are getting the boilerplate "weird nerds caping for musk" memes



it's literally true, it's not defending anyone

AOC: "Trump says the moon was constructed by the Jews, get this dangerous antisemite out of politics"

humans: "...what, no he didn't say that"

AOC stans: "WHY ARE YOU DEFENDING TRUMP LOL BLOCKED"

[Tasty]

I get the feeling everyone has turned off their thinking skills

https://twitter.com/AOC/status/1587647032457449473

Like does she not understand that it's $8 for the verified mark, not for posting at all?

That said...

https://twitter.com/elonmusk/status/1587627120355934208

Now Musk himself is presenting it like you'd have to pay $8 to keep posting.

Does no one understand what is going on?

It's the "if you don't have a blue check, you're worthless/subhuman" mentality. The logical conclusion being, if you don't have a blue check, what's the point of even posting on Twitter at all? When everyone wears a crown, no one is king. These people are just mad they've been demoted back to "peasant status" on the world's shittiest website.

[Uncle]

[HaughtyFrank]

I'm not sure whether he's just abjectly stupid or deliberately sabotaging the platform to drive certain people away. It's clear that facts don't matter to him and he will not back down on being wrong. He was wrong about bots before the purchase and is still wrong; I'd imagine multiple engineers have shown him the data over the last week. He doesn't understand the point of the blue check system, which was to entice celebs (by preventing them from being drowned in thousands of replies/notifications to their posts) and provide verified accounts the ability to tweet out news/information (politicians, news and sports journalists, etc).

So the result will be a flood of troll/spam blue checks posting fake news. Fake Woj accounts announcing fake NBA trades, fake Fox News accounts announcing the death of world leaders, etc. Elon has said that scam/fake accounts will lose their blue check but we've all been on the internet long enough to know that's not going to stop what's coming. Perhaps more importantly none of this adds up to a big enough financial incentive for this to make sense. I'm sure some true believers will purchase a blue check. Most people won't.

I didn't even think about that part. It's not just that someone like AOC will presumably not have a blue check anymore, making harder to identify if it's the real account, it's that someone else with the A0C handle will now have a blue check, claiming to be the real one.

[Phoenix Dark]

I'm not sure whether he's just abjectly stupid or deliberately sabotaging the platform to drive certain people away. It's clear that facts don't matter to him and he will not back down on being wrong. He was wrong about bots before the purchase and is still wrong; I'd imagine multiple engineers have shown him the data over the last week. He doesn't understand the point of the blue check system, which was to entice celebs (by preventing them from being drowned in thousands of replies/notifications to their posts) and provide verified accounts the ability to tweet out news/information (politicians, news and sports journalists, etc).

So the result will be a flood of troll/spam blue checks posting fake news. Fake Woj accounts announcing fake NBA trades, fake Fox News accounts announcing the death of world leaders, etc. Elon has said that scam/fake accounts will lose their blue check but we've all been on the internet long enough to know that's not going to stop what's coming. Perhaps more importantly none of this adds up to a big enough financial incentive for this to make sense. I'm sure some true believers will purchase a blue check. Most people won't.

I didn't even think about that part. It's not just that someone like AOC will presumably not have a blue check anymore, making harder to identify if it's the real account, it's that someone else with the A0C handle will now have a blue check, claiming to be the real one.

Imagine the fake celebrity endorsed crypto scams this could generate too. Or fake Door Dash/Grubhub discount scams to collect emails. Or fake politician scams signing people up for mailing lists.

[Uncle]

this does presume that people having blue checks wasn't already scattershot to begin with, and that people were already smart enough to check the check and make sure they weren't being scammed

twitter will only be as bad as email ever was

[GreatSageEqualOfHeaven]

I'm not sure whether he's just abjectly stupid or deliberately sabotaging the platform to drive certain people away. It's clear that facts don't matter to him and he will not back down on being wrong. He was wrong about bots before the purchase and is still wrong; I'd imagine multiple engineers have shown him the data over the last week. He doesn't understand the point of the blue check system, which was to entice celebs (by preventing them from being drowned in thousands of replies/notifications to their posts) and provide verified accounts the ability to tweet out news/information (politicians, news and sports journalists, etc).

So the result will be a flood of troll/spam blue checks posting fake news. Fake Woj accounts announcing fake NBA trades, fake Fox News accounts announcing the death of world leaders, etc. Elon has said that scam/fake accounts will lose their blue check but we've all been on the internet long enough to know that's not going to stop what's coming. Perhaps more importantly none of this adds up to a big enough financial incentive for this to make sense. I'm sure some true believers will purchase a blue check. Most people won't.

I didn't even think about that part. It's not just that someone like AOC will presumably not have a blue check anymore, making harder to identify if it's the real account, it's that someone else with the A0C handle will now have a blue check, claiming to be the real one.

But right now you can just photoshop anyone on twitter saying anything they want, and the people whod fall for @A0C will fall for that as well, just as they'll fall for customerserviceagent97@gmail.com emails telling them their bank of america account has been hacked and to click here to reconfirm their details.

The intentions of why the bluetick started are somewhat irrelevant to what the bluetick currently represents, and when bluetick techblogger retweets fake news *now* its the same problem, and when Raidboss-of-the-day twitter target gets #cancelled they don't have any bluetick only reprieve from being swamped in vitriol by the mob.

[Tuckers Law]

Before Elon bought Twitter, the internet truly was a space safe from celebrities hocking crypto scams and shady sites selling you questionable coupons in exchange for your email address and information.  I sure do miss that internet!

[MMaRsu]

[Uncle]

I don't think we have to worry too much about the idea of people buying blue checks just to troll and scam, because buying leaves a paper trail, the legal name attached to the credit card or paypal account or whatever, right 

[BIONIC]

Has it actually been confirmed that literally any rando can just buy a blue check?

Figured it’d be the exact same verification process, only that you have to pay for it now. Sounds like doom posting without any details unless I missed something.

[Coax]

So the result will be a flood of troll/spam blue checks posting fake news. Fake Woj accounts announcing fake NBA trades, fake Fox News accounts announcing the death of world leaders, etc. Elon has said that scam/fake accounts will lose their blue check but we've all been on the internet long enough to know that's not going to stop what's coming.

The verification part of the process isn't just suddenly going to disappear though, no? Though I haven't paid enough attention to Twitter to know whether they've verified users posing as others before.

Edit: took too long to post

[Uncle]

So the result will be a flood of troll/spam blue checks posting fake news. Fake Woj accounts announcing fake NBA trades, fake Fox News accounts announcing the death of world leaders, etc. Elon has said that scam/fake accounts will lose their blue check but we've all been on the internet long enough to know that's not going to stop what's coming.

The verification part of the process isn't just suddenly going to disappear though, no? Though I haven't paid enough attention to Twitter to know whether they've verified users posing as others before.

Edit: took too long to post

however for a long time people have been bemoaning the verification process and saying it's too easy for any rando to get a blue check, tons of people you've never heard of who are activists or influencers 

[thetylerrob]

I don't think we have to worry too much about the idea of people buying blue checks just to troll and scam, because buying leaves a paper trail, the legal name attached to the credit card or paypal account or whatever, right 

Musk is already implying that you'll be able to pay with crypto lol.

I still can't tell if Musk is trying to save his investment in good faith or if he is actually just trolling. The clutching at pearls about blue checks being handed out to nobodies is pretty funny though; that ship sailed a long time ago.

I don't like Musk or blue check Twitter so I'm just enjoying the schadenfreude.

[Uncle]

a terrifying glimpse into the future of un-checked twitter

https://twitter.com/AIJazeeraBrazil/status/1587593278769209344

https://twitter.com/AIJazeeraBrazil/status/1587594359867850753

[Uncle]

[Nintex]

https://twitter.com/elonmusk/status/1587798343622737925

my my how the turn tables

[headwalk]

maybe after all it wasn't such a great idea building global political discourse around a publicly traded business that anybody could buy out and do whatever the fuck they wanted with.

[Nintex]

https://twitter.com/PhilipWegmann/status/1587866440924790784

maybe after all it wasn't such a great idea building global political discourse around a publicly traded business that anybody could buy out and do whatever the fuck they wanted with.

Another piece of Obama's legacy 


Also all the government blue checks

[james]

The notes feature debuted well before Elon.

Its also easy to influence if you own a troll farm

[Uncle]

maybe after all it wasn't such a great idea building global political discourse around a publicly traded business that anybody could buy out and do whatever the fuck they wanted with.

just curious what comes next

will the international news media pull a resetera and flock to some other platform like mastodon? countersocial? cohost? something new?

"in other news our correspondents on Glorper have exchanged several glorps expressing how they feel this will impact upcoming elections"

"and now we turn to you over on ScuttleBug, let's read some public scuttles and see what you have to say about this surprising turn of events"

"the US president finds himself in hot water over a controversial upchuck he posted on UpChucker last night"

[james]

What happened to Musk solving the Ukraine issue

[headwalk]

i distinctly remember how weird it was when the BBC first included @ handles next to their news reporters' names. it was like coming upstairs to find your dad doing his taxes on your megadrive in a sonic 2 debug mode.

[benjipwns]

people correcting AOC in her replies are getting the boilerplate "weird nerds caping for musk" memes



it's literally true, it's not defending anyone

AOC: "Trump says the moon was constructed by the Jews, get this dangerous antisemite out of politics"

humans: "...what, no he didn't say that"

AOC stans: "WHY ARE YOU DEFENDING TRUMP LOL BLOCKED"

There's some YouTube video they post a lot about how you shouldn't engage the alt-right, just tell them to shut the fuck up because they're all dishonest and will manipulate/sealion/JAQoff/botspam/troll/etc. you into harming democracy. (You can tell if someone is alt-right by if they say something you don't like.) And outright Nazis like anyone who defends anything that will lead to fascism (free speech, civil liberties, rational thinking, etc.) you just need to do what we do when we defeated Nazis the first time. Not to mention how anyone who corrects you with facts or logic is someone you need to block for your personal safety.

[Nintex]

Meanwhile on Twitter

https://twitter.com/CountDankulaTV/status/1587920295095988224

https://twitter.com/elonmusk/status/1587911540770222081

https://twitter.com/elonmusk/status/1587891883421798400

just curious what comes next

lawyers and court rooms.

This whole thing is backed by shady money and not paying out the golden parachutes won't go over well.
Elon essentially bought the worlds press office.

[benjipwns]

https://twitter.com/elonmusk/status/1587891883421798400

Gotta have shitposter solidarity when he does ones like this.

[Uncle]

he's clearly already gotten his money's worth

imagine any human being able to do this at any point in history, the middle ages, backtalk any king in the world knowing they can't/won't do a thing to stop you

[Nintex]

He pinned the AOC tweet 

and he added this
https://twitter.com/elonmusk/status/1587923502354472960

King Shit 

[Tasty]

That could buy you a Twitter checkmark for... 7.25 months.

What's the yearly sub option?

[Polident Hive]

Feel like there’s a lesson here about tying your brand and personality to a private platform. How after years of making Twitter a “valuable” part of democracy and speech, whatever they’re on about, can backfire.

Side note, I saw people saying Musk impulsively dropped Twitter Pro’s price from $20 to $8 after an interaction with King… they’d get wiped out if they ever visited a bazaar.

[Uncle]

THE SNEETCHES
by Theodor Geisel (1961)

Now, the Star-Belly Sneetches
Had bellies with stars.
The Plain-Belly Sneetches
Had none upon thars.

Those stars weren't so big. They were really so small
You might think such a thing wouldn't matter at all.
But, because they had stars, all the Star-Belly Sneetches
Would brag, "We're the best kind of Sneetch on the beaches."
With their snoots in the air, they would sniff and they'd snort
“We'll have nothing to do with the Plain-Belly sort!"
And whenever they met some, when they were out walking,
They'd hike right on past them without even talking.

When the Star-Belly children went out to play ball,
Could a Plain-Belly get in the game...? Not at all.
You could only play if your bellies had stars
And the Plain-Belly children had none upon thars.

When the Star-Belly Sneetches had frankfurter roasts
Or picnics or parties or marshmallow toasts,
They never invited the Plain-Belly Sneetches.
They left them out cold, in the dark of the beaches.
They kept them away. Never let them come near.
And that's how they treated them year after year.

Then ONE day, it seems...while the Plain-Belly Sneetches
Were moping and doping alone on the beaches,
Just sitting there wishing their bellies had stars...
A stranger zipped up in the strangest of cars!

"My friends," he announced in a voice clear and keen,
"My name is Sylvester McMonkey McBean.
And I've heard of your troubles. I've heard you're unhappy.
But I can fix that. I'm the Fix-it-Up Chappie.
I've come here to help you. I have what you need.
And my prices are low. And I work at great speed.
And my work is one hundred per cent guaranteed!"

Then, quickly, Sylvester McMonkey McBean
Put together a very peculiar machine.
And he said, "You want stars like a Star-Belly Sneetch...?
My friends, you can have them for three dollars each!”
“Just pay me your money and hop right aboard!"
So they clambered inside. Then the big machine roared
And it clonked. And it bonked. And it jerked. And it berked
And it bopped them about. But the thing really worked!
When the Plain-Belly Sneetches popped out, they had stars!
They actually did. They had stars upon thars!

Then they yelled at the ones who had stars from the start,
"We're exactly like you! You can't tell us apart.
We're all just the same, now, you snooty old smarties!
And now we can go to your frankfurter parties."

"Good grief!" groaned the ones who had stars at the first.
"We're still the best Sneetches and they are the worst.
But, now, how in the world will we know," they all frowned,
"If which kind is what, or the other way round?"

Then up came McBean with a very sly wink
And he said, "Things are not quite as bad as you think.
So you don't know who's who. That’s perfectly true.
But come with me, friends. Do you know what I'll do?
I'll make you, again, the best Sneetches on beaches
And all it will cost you is ten dollars eaches.”

Belly stars are no longer in style," said McBean.
"What you need is a trip through my Star-Off machine.
This wondrous contraption will take off your stars
So you won't look like Sneetches who have them on thars."
And that handy machine
Working very precisely
Removed all the stars from their tummies quite nicely.

Then, with snoots in the air, they paraded about
And they opened their beaks and they let out a shout,
"We know who is who! Now there isn't a doubt.
The best kind of Sneetches are Sneetches without!"

Then, of course, those with stars all got frightfully mad.
To be wearing a star now was frightfully bad.
Then, of course, old Sylvester McMonkey McBean
Invited them into his Star-Off Machine.

Then, of course from then on, as you probably guess,
Things really got into a horrible mess.
All the rest of that day, on those wild screaming beaches,
The Fix-it-Up Chappie kept fixing up Sneetches.
Off again! On again!
In again! Out again!
Through the machines they raced round and about again,
Changing their stars every minute or two.
They kept paying money. They kept running through
Until neither the Plain nor the Star-Bellies knew
Whether this one was that one...or that one was this one
Or which one was what one...or what one was who.

Then, when every last cent
Of their money was spent,
The Fix-it-Up Chappie packed up
And he went.

And he laughed as he drove
In his car up the beach,
"They never will learn.
No. You can't teach a Sneetch!"

But McBean was quite wrong. I'm quite happy to say
The Sneetches got really quite smart on that day,
The day they decided that Sneetches are Sneetches
And no kind of Sneetch is the best on the beaches.
That day, all the Sneetches forgot about stars
And whether they had one, or not, upon thars.
The end.

literally birds who tweet, and literally have stars they're proud of

a motherfucker with a weird name AND A WEIRD CAR rolls up and offers to sell stars to anyone

then the birds with stars get pissed off and consider themselves superior for NOT having stars

while the weird motherfucker keeps milking profit from them



am I taking crazy pills?

the world must know about this

[benjipwns]

How do I convince 3|*n to change "What's happening" to "Trending based on your interests you dummy"? Should I just DM him? I'm not sure how this whole billion dollar company has a single admin now thing is supposed to work.

[Potato]

Thought for the day: If Twatter were to disappear tomorrow, would democracy be better or worse off?

Better, because journalists would actually have to go back to actually researching and speaking to real sources instead of just linking a tweet and thinking of a one line zinger for a headline.

[benjipwns]

Thought for the day: If Twatter were to disappear tomorrow, would democracy be better or worse off?

Better, because journalists would actually have to go back to actually researching and speaking to real sources instead of just linking a tweet and thinking of a one line zinger for a headline.

Assumes facts not in evidence.

[Uncle]

Thought for the day: If Twatter were to disappear tomorrow, would democracy be better or worse off?

Better, because journalists would actually have to go back to actually researching and speaking to real sources instead of just linking a tweet and thinking of a one line zinger for a headline.

if the question is "if Musk shut it down tomorrow," people are too used to the status quo to not just build it again but somehow even worse/more abusive/insular/paranoid (see tumblr leaving to infest reddit and twitter, or neogaf)

if the question is "if we all woke up as if from a long slumber and twitter had never existed,"

spoiler (click to show/hide)

[close]

[Transhuman]

You know people complain about misinformation being harmful to mental health, but thebore shows the world exactly as it is, and it still damages my mental health

[benjipwns]

https://twitter.com/growing_daniel/status/1587636218782568448

https://twitter.com/tara_chara/status/1587898660884549640

[benjipwns]

https://twitter.com/Sigmundine2/status/1587548144937615363

[benjipwns]

https://twitter.com/qtomris/status/1587824854719397890
https://twitter.com/BradMossEsq/status/1587504700479442952

 

[Potato]

https://twitter.com/growing_daniel/status/1587636218782568448

https://twitter.com/tara_chara/status/1587898660884549640

I see the blue check sycophants/nobodies are taking this well