I'm going to share something batshit crazy with you all since I feel like we're starting to gel now - and something ive been thinking about for a long time that I feel I need to get off my chest and random strangers on the internet is the best to do this because i would get laughed at irl.
I helped Maria sharapova win wimbledon 2004.
I was a young sad, lonely 14 year old boy. I lived with my grandparents, who were out all day, so that meant I got to steal the livingroom tv which had cable at the time. I was never a tennis fan, but flicking through the channels the live feed for the wimbledon match sharapova vs williams came on - when I saw sharapova I had a crush instantly, and learned she was 17, not much older than me !
I dont know what came over me, I started shouting at the tv, as if I was trying to speak to her directly. I was keeping her updated on the scores ( so she could focus and not be distracted by looking away), reassuring her whenever she made a fumble, going nuts when she won a point, and generally giving her moral support the whole time.
By the end, Maria did amazing and won. From her focus to the stupid hints i tried to leave to test to see if she could actually hear me or not - I was pretty convinced she could hear me the whole time. I did something really sad, i recognise that now, so please dont laugh too much. I told her my name, and slowly told her my phoned number over and over (i had a mobile back then). Could not fucking believe my eyes, after hugging her dad, she does a b-line for her phone! Any rational person would think shes going to call someone shes close to but is not there - like her mum, but 14-year old me, especially after seeing he spend a randomly long amount of time fiddling with her phone before trying to make a call - obviously thought she was putting in my number.
So, I did one more test...
I told her "You can thank me if you want, but please dont say my name" - just before she was about to commence the post-match interview. Obviously in moments like these, the winner likes to remind everyone who helped them by shouting them out as thank. I know you're not going to believe me when I say this, but this is 100% fact. At the very end of that list of thank yous, she said " And I want to thank one more person, i wont say who you are, but you know who you are". I know right?
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So the show ended, and I was left in a state of disbelief. I sat there looking at my phone, no notifications. Was I being an actual dumb fuck? I went into my room to play some melee and fall asleep. I thought about it for a few days after, but then life took over and a few weeks passed and I was on holiday at my grandparents caravan up north.
My grandparents were out to the market so I thought - being alone, I would chill with some burnout 3. As I was playing, my mobile - which was in my left pocket - went off. Someone was calling, as I pull the phone out my pocket, I quickly read the screen. It's an unknown number, but its weird, it doesnt look like a UK number. Back then, mobile numbers were not so spammed by telemarketers as they were landlines, and websites werent so desperate to try get as much personal info as possible. So really the only people who had my number were my family and friends from school. Plus it wasnt a company or premium number either, I cant remember what it looked like, but best guess would be a foreign area code.
When I saw that foreign number, my heart stopped, the thought of it actually being Maria Sharapova lasted for about half a second before my mind was dominated with "what if someone near by heard you back then, and is playing a prank on you? you were pretty loud.", but i couldn't
not answer it, right?
So I answered the call, put it to my ear, "Hello is this Greg?" in a motherfucking russian accent. But it didnt sound exactly like her on the tv, so I was like nah fuck this shit mentally me response was rather aggressive "what is this a fucking prank? FUCK OFF". And hung up.
That was the only time that number ever called me.
In the years to follow, I wouldnt think about it so much, just from time to time. I've always pinned it as a prank, but I just can't help but think,
really? I mean, it was a foreign number, and I lived next to an elderly couple and family gang house who knew nothing about technology. Anything past those houses you wouldnt have heard me clearly enough, and anyway, if it was a prank, would they really have given up after one try after going to all that effort?
I just dont fucking know man, what if, y'know?
There used to be a video on youtube of the full match with the post match interview, but its gone I think. When I find it, I will update this story, so if you have doubts that my intentions behind this post are genuine, hopefully you will see how this story fits into place. So far the best I could I find is a clip of her going for her phone (but this really lacks context of the whole event) and an interview where she tries to over explain being on her phone for so long by forgetting her mum would be on a flight at that time - but no - I want you to see the actual event.