It's 20XX and people are mad online about Star War!

[Momo]

[chronovore]

casino planet was basically prequel tier

Yup. It's my least favorite part of the movie. Still love the movie overall.

I still love chrono, despite his star wars treason

Thanks, boo.

[Kara]

I didn't really like the characters or subplot on Canto Bight but I appreciate that Disney decided to teach da youf about the vile amorality of the arms industry with that digression. I guess it's the strongest BB-8 segment in the movie too.

[benjipwns]

kingv is right tho, TLJ is a the anime filler arc of mainline SW films. It's lateral movement.

It's my favorite SW movie behind the 1977 and 1980. It's fantastic. It actively pulls heroism and personal responsibility into anyone's hands, and away from hereditary mythology.

I think we should wait for the new one before saying that’s 100% confirmed. That title makes me feel like there’s a chance they retcon Rey’s parentage somehow.

I have to assume there's a very good chance JJ turns The Last Jedi into the Count Dooku of Star Wars films

[chronovore]

kingv is right tho, TLJ is a the anime filler arc of mainline SW films. It's lateral movement.

It's my favorite SW movie behind the 1977 and 1980. It's fantastic. It actively pulls heroism and personal responsibility into anyone's hands, and away from hereditary mythology.

I think we should wait for the new one before saying that’s 100% confirmed. That title makes me feel like there’s a chance they retcon Rey’s parentage somehow.

I have to assume there's a very good chance JJ turns The Last Jedi into the Count Dooku of Star Wars films

What does that even mean?

[benjipwns]

A better in idea than execution band-aid to a self-inflicted wound that's completely forgotten about when he's vaporized ten seconds into Revenge of the Sith?

[benjipwns]

look, I've got six more months to workshop this okay?

spoiler (click to show/hide)

Attack of the Clones imo went from bad to even more awful when Revenge of the Sith got the high ground so Attack had to fall into the lava pit and get most of its attempt at plot points burned off

[close]

[Great Rumbler]

Man, Attack of the Clones was such garbage. It was so bad that main plot got retconned before the movie even ended.

[Tasty]

What IS the main plot of AOTC? What's the main plot of any of the prequels?

Obi-Wan has to find out where the clone army came from.

Anakin has to resist Padme (and the dark side) while also protecting her.

There's a couple bad CG fights strung together at the end.

[Human Snorenado]

What IS the main plot of AOTC? What's the main plot of any of the prequels?

MIDICHLORIANS

[paprikastaude]

when Christopher Lee character shows up in episode 2 as the main (?) bad guy at the end

[Great Rumbler]

What IS the main plot of AOTC? What's the main plot of any of the prequels?

Anakin macking on Padme [which was awful no matter how you look at it] and Obiwan investigating clone stuff [which had some interesting elements, but then Yoda shows up at the end with clone army and is like "Well, we got a clone army now, just go with it"].

[MMaRsu]

when Christopher Lee character shows up in episode 2 as the main (?) bad guy at the end

(Image removed from quote.)

Count doofus

I do really like Christopher Lee though

[VomKriege]

Man, Attack of the Clones was such garbage. It was so bad that main plot got retconned before the movie even ended.

I thought Kamino (whatever, the cloning planet) was a refreshing change of style (if not an outright mistake in direction) with the giant aliens and clinical white hallways. Then Lucas shits himself by shoehorning Boba Fett and quite literally making him the opposite of exceptional then the goofiness of having hallways filed with poor Temuera Morrison composited three hundred times in every frame.

[Joe Molotov]

Man, Attack of the Clones was such garbage. It was so bad that main plot got retconned before the movie even ended.

I thought Kamino (whatever, the cloning planet) was a refreshing change of style (if not an outright mistake in direction) with the giant aliens and clinical white hallways. Then Lucas shits himself by shoehorning Boba Fett and quite literally making him the opposite of exceptional then the goofiness of having hallways filed with poor Temuera Morrison composited three hundred times in every frame.

Then that entire plot line just gets jettisoned from existence, like so many other plot lines and characters that George Lucas introduced and then got bored with. Count Dooku, Darth Plagueis, General Grievous, who cares? Just throw in another light saber battle! Yoda can do backflips now, why not?

[Kara]

The clone stuff? It gets sent to the shows. That's one of the real weaknesses of the prequels, you have to consume massive amounts of (even more obviously) children's entertainment to get anything resembling a complete picture.

[Kara]

Also if you thought the Boba Fett backstory significantly undid his "cool" you should see what they did to the Mandalorians in the shows.

[VomKriege]

Also if you thought the Boba Fett backstory significantly undid his "cool" you should see what they did to the Mandalorians in the shows.

Well in the film it's not really Boba (though having him as a pouty kid is not really cool) technically but since Jango is basically 1:1 the same it might as well be.

[paprikastaude]

Also if you thought the Boba Fett backstory significantly undid his "cool" you should see what they did to the Mandalorians in the shows.

can't be anything that couldn't be redeemed by bill burr

[chronovore]

What IS the main plot of AOTC? What's the main plot of any of the prequels?

There are two storylines. After an attempt on Padme’s life, her guardians, Obi-Wan and Anakin, split up; the former investigates why Padme was targeted and the latter protects her. Obi-Wan absolutely knows that Anakin is emotionally unbalanced around Padme, so it’s unclear why Obi-Wan doesn’t choose to guard Padme and send Anakin to investigate.

Anakin awkwardly incels all over Padme, avant la lettre, and somehow it effectively makes him attractive to her.

Obi-Wan discovers that Jedi Librarians are arrogant and overly reliant on their technology. He directly goes to visit Kamino, a planet that no-one knows about, and the tall-neck aliens there think all humans look identical because they can’t differentiate Obi-Wan from Count Dooku, who had arranged for the creation of the Clone Army. Obi-Wan continues to investigate, and somehow he and Anakin and Padme all end up captured on a bug planet where the Droid Army is being similarly created. (IT’S LIKE POETRY, IT RHYMES.)

All looks hopeless, because apparently an ARMY of JEDI can’t fight DROIDS as well as Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon did in the previous movie, so it’s a big relief that Yoda has also discovered the Clone Army, which he is now in charge of, with zero-zero-zero in-film explanation. And now everyone accepts that it’s a good thing this Clone Army was just sitting around waiting to be discovered, because it’s a good thing two created armies can now battle each other, creating simulated drama.

Man, Attack of the Clones was such garbage. It was so bad that main plot got retconned before the movie even ended.

I thought Kamino (whatever, the cloning planet) was a refreshing change of style (if not an outright mistake in direction) with the giant aliens and clinical white hallways. Then Lucas shits himself by shoehorning Boba Fett and quite literally making him the opposite of exceptional then the goofiness of having hallways filed with poor Temuera Morrison composited three hundred times in every frame.

I think George Lucas wants people to like the things he likes, and gets angry when they focus on something else. Killing off Boba in a massive vagina dentata wasn't enough, so he de-specialized Boba by making Jango, and then making thousands of Jangos. 

[bluemax]

Wasn't there a previous canon explanation of what the clone wars were that was like 100 times better than the prequels? Or did I just imagine that from reading the novelization of A New Hope which has tons of stuff that isn't in the movie.

[Kara]

Man, Attack of the Clones was such garbage. It was so bad that main plot got retconned before the movie even ended.

I thought Kamino (whatever, the cloning planet) was a refreshing change of style (if not an outright mistake in direction) with the giant aliens and clinical white hallways. Then Lucas shits himself by shoehorning Boba Fett and quite literally making him the opposite of exceptional then the goofiness of having hallways filed with poor Temuera Morrison composited three hundred times in every frame.

I think George Lucas wants people to like the things he likes, and gets angry when they focus on something else. Killing off Boba in a massive vagina dentata wasn't enough, so he de-specialized Boba by making Jango, and then making thousands of Jangos. 

Sometimes I feel like Boba Fett was the original version of the "Wow! Cool robot!" meme.

At least Cad Bane is so repugnant that the only people I can think of that could conceivably like him are the ones who have watched the only 10 good westerns and think westerns are a cool genre of movie.

[chronovore]

Wasn't there a previous canon explanation of what the clone wars were that was like 100 times better than the prequels? Or did I just imagine that from reading the novelization of A New Hope which has tons of stuff that isn't in the movie.

Many people are very excited about the Clone Wars series. I've bought the box set but haven't watched yet.

[agrajag]

Chrono out here Forcesplaining 

[chronovore]

Chrono out here Forcesplaining 

I really, really dislike the Prequels. I can't help myself.

[Great Rumbler]

[paprikastaude]

Criticizing the new movies

Using that as a chance to sugarcoat the prequels in any way  

[Joe Molotov]

Trying to rehabilitate the Prequels is peak Zoomer shit.

[headwalk]

if you gave the beer mat synopsis of the prequels to a competant filmmaker they could've been great. don't think you could say the same about the disney films because i'm not sure anyone ever wrote it down.

[Occam]

The first one was quite unnecessary. Who cares about Adolf Hitler as a boy? Then you have robots against clones = nothing is at stake.
That's a pretty fundamental flaw. Add to this that we already knew the outcome.
Nothing at stake + outcome known in advance = borefest.

[paprikastaude]

also spoiling the vader twist for all future children = inherently dumb concept. you could've maybe done something good with broken luke, but the prequels are just irredeemable.

[Tasty]

Prequels should have been Obi-wan movies with Anakin as a minor background character (and already a Jedi Knight and good pilot.)

[Himu]

Prequels should have been Obi-wan movies with Anakin as a minor background character (and already a Jedi Knight and good pilot.)

Agreed with everything except minor background character. This would make Obi-Wan very much not a very good friend.

[benjipwns]

What IS the main plot of AOTC?

spoiler (click to show/hide)

one touch I like in the prequels is when people use the Force to do mundane things causally, like Obi-Wan force-grabbing his "flash drive" in that scene or when Darth Maul wants to open a door so he hovers some debris off the ground and flings it at the panel

[close]

[Tasty]

What IS the main plot of AOTC?

What's the main plot of any of the prequels?

[ToxicAdam]

Obi Wan was a centrist. Making him worse than the Sith Lords.

[benjipwns]

George Lucas basically produced them as independent films, that's how rich and how successful Lucasfilm (and its associated like THX and Industrial Light and Magic) was at one point. He only has dealt with major studios for the end releases to theaters/VHS/DVD and then when he sold everything to Disney to retire.

The original famous deal he made with Paramount where he kept the IP and merchandising rights and they took only distribution was not out of a business brilliance but because Lucas was so protective of the entire Star Wars concept and idea that he wanted nobody else to make it even if he failed at it.

[benjipwns]

Also. I consider the LEGO Star Wars versions of ALL Star Wars content to be canon.

[paprikastaude]

tfw as a kid you thought the nonsense diplomacy in episode 1 will make sense when you're grown up

[Kara]

There should be an Obi Wan movie just showing him drinking and being in the sun constantly to explain his aging in double time.


Just like there needs to be one more X-Mehns explaining how Magneto aged 45 years in 8 years.

He's old by the time he makes an appearance in Rebels and he's in his early 50s then iirc.

[Momo]

Obi Wan was a centrist. Making him worse than the Sith Lords.

well his master was a both-sideser grey jedi

[Great Rumbler]

Obi Wan was a centrist. Making him worse than the Sith Lords.

well his master was a both-sideser grey jedi

His master was Boogie2988?

[benjipwns]

it's kinda funny how Obi-Wan obstinately establishes himself on Tatooine to watch over Luke, then Luke just happens to be hanging out with Obi-Wan when his aunt and uncle are slaughtered clearing the way for them to go find Leia

[Great Rumbler]

Yeah, pretty convenient for Obi-Wan that Luke's guardians just happened to be conveniently disposed of leaving no one to report Luke's disappearance.

[benjipwns]

plus has anyone ever thrown a fight worse than Obi-Wan did against Vader?

dude pretty much one-shot Darth Maul in half

[benjipwns]

all i'm saying is that we need a special counsel investigation

[VomKriege]

Obi Wan was a centrist. Making him worse than the Sith Lords.

well his master was a both-sideser grey jedi

His master was Boogie2988?

A salesman convinced me to buy a X-34 landspeeder, you should have listened to him he had a lot of great points about why I needed to buy one. Can the Jedi Council wire me 100k Dataries ?

[benjipwns]

lmao at you two morons thinking that there was a central currency imposed by the Empire

[benjipwns]

The Galactic Credit Standard, simply called a credit or abbreviated to cred, colloquially referred to as Republic Dataries, and later known as the Imperial Credit, was the main currency in use in the galaxy since the time of the Galactic Republic.

The galactic credit standard was established on Sojourn. From its inception, the credit was backed by the immense wealth of the planet Muunilinst and the InterGalactic Banking Clan (IGBC). During the Clone Wars, the IGBC backed the currencies of both sides, as it would do so again decades later for the New Republic and Imperial Remnant.

During the Clone Wars, and even before, many of the galaxy's inhabitants were worried about the war's outcome and the effect it would have on the galactic economy. Because of this, an overwhelming majority of planets outside the Core and Inner Rim would not accept credits. These planets and regions began minting their own special currencies. In 22 BBY, the InterGalactic Banking Clan was creating new currencies at a rate of twenty per day, with the InterGalactic Currency Exchange System managing the currency

"Republic credits? Republic credits are no good out here. I need something more real."
―Watto to Qui-Gon Jinn on Tatooine

[benjipwns]

lol at the lore behind this being as incoherent as Star Trek's similar "credits" in an economy that is otherwise borderline without scarcity

[benjipwns]

tfw when you want your show to show a post-scarcity post-conflict human utopia but you want the enemies to be fillercapitalistsrellif so you create an non-replicatible hard standard to justify their society

[agrajag]

Twi'leks are the whores of the SW universe 

[Rufus]

*exotic dancers

[agrajag]

they know exactly what they are 

[benjipwns]

Hutt Bath Water, available at all Sector Space Markets!

[benjipwns]

another funny time thing is just how fast the Republic descends into a totalitarian Empire, it's like a couple weeks and nobody minds, the Senate doesn't even attempt to repeal the power Jar Jar gives the Emperor even though Palpatine had to manipulate like fifty separate events and lead both sides of his own war across the prequels just to get himself elected in the first place

Trek wanking

perhaps ironically, the Ferengi show themselves to be more open to seriously changing their entire society, not only allowing fee-males to clothe themselves but even more importantly to their society's values own property, at the end of DS9 than the Federation ever has done anything similar

they're still trying to smash the Bajorans' society into smooth uniform Federation paste even in the middle of a galactic war, the Bajorans earlier refusal to join being perhaps the one thing that saves them from being permanently annihilated by Dukat during said war

[close]

[Joe Molotov]

"Republic credits? Republic credits are no good out here. I need something more real."
―Watto to Qui-Gon Jinn on Tatooine

And now we know how Obi-Wan got involved in Tatooine's white slave trade.

[benjipwns]

I feel like we've really got a great pitch idea here to Disney about an Obi-Wan spin-off film. After Solo they'll be too afraid to water down all the piracy/smuggling/crime parts.

[benjipwns]

Qui-Gon faked his death while Obi-Wan became the inside man, but Anakin had seen too much so they had to "train" him to make sure he didn't screw the whole thing up. In AOTC when they go into the seedy parts of town, Obi-Wan knows everything about it because of his side business. And he's gotta get Anakin out of the way to handle business so he assigns him to watch the Queen.

Yoda figures the whole thing out and demands a cut, that's why he's got an exit to Dagobah ready immediately. And that's also why they send Mace Windu to confront the Emperor, because he was getting too close to both operations.

At some point Yoda and Obi-Wan probably had Qui-Gon have an "accident" while they were "on the run" and frame the Empire for it.

[team filler]

seth windu