Struggle Thread mk II - No one likes us, we don't care

[chronovore]

Chrono, first off, I'm sorry for your loss. And I know the sacrifice that you made will always sting. But that being said, this is a major accomplishment

In the end, my in-laws tell me that it was my willingness to move back that extended my father-in-law‘s wife an extra six years.

Most people will live their whole life and never be able to give this to someone else. You should be immensely proud.
Cold Comfort, I know. But it's comfort nonetheless

[BisMarckie]

Learned today that one of my students from last semester was killed recently.   

[Cerveza mas fina]

Chrono you did the right thing, respect, no need for what ifs.

I moved to a small town myself where i have zero chances for any kind of career, I write parking tickets (with a university degree lol), but my daugther is able to grow up with her whole family (and by that extension me and my wife are part of family life, not just during holidays), something I never had.

A quiet, simple, family life. Something to be proud of

Just continue to do whats best for the family, and remember you have a whole life still ahead of you at this age.

[Tasty]

Taking one of my regular forum breaks. Probably won't be for long but dunno.

I originally opened the thread to bitch about life, but honestly, things are objectively on the upswing for me. That means I'm really just coming here to throw self-pity parties and get validation for being a pretty shitty person, and that's not healthy.

I'll be back when things are better for me and my thinking matches.

PS- I'm pretty sure I lost the source code for that Bore emoji autocomplete extension, sorry guys.

[CatsCatsCats]

Tastyyyyy I’ll miss youuuuuu 😘😘

[I'm a Puppy!]

love you, tasty!

[HardcoreRetro]

Time to come back as the umami-rich Fermented Meat. Older, wiser and tastier.

[Madrun Badrun]

Same with me.  I'm missing a major deadline which sucks hard and it hit me about 5 days ago.  Just been watching stargate all days and feel like shit.  But the 5 weeks before that was really great.  I hate doing all the work to get on track only to have it drop out from under me and having to start all over. 

[Brehvolution]

You're a very patient person, Stro. I probably would have grabbed the crowbar.

[jakefromstatefarm]

Just put down my dog of 8 years. I have never felt worse.

[nachobro]

fuck that sucks dude. i'm sorry

[I'm a Puppy!]

I'm sorry bros.

[Mr Gilhaney]

Just put down my dog of 8 years. I have never felt worse.

That shit destroys you for a while. But just try to remember it's for the best instead of having it suffer.

[Madrun Badrun]

Sorry man

[jakefromstatefarm]

Thanks guys.

He was the most anxious dog I’ve ever met. Over the last couple years it became accentuated; he’d bite anyone he didn’t recognize, get excessively violent with strangers at the door, even started biting family. He had so much goddamn life in him even when we took him in to the vet this morning. He took two whole doses of the sedative and still refused to fall asleep . So I had to restrain him when the doc came in with the euthanizing agent. Which was ok, cause it meant that I got to hold him in his last moments

[Cerveza mas fina]

What was wrong with him?

[chronovore]

Just put down my dog of 8 years. I have never felt worse.

Hardest I've ever cried in my life was after taking my poor cancer-riddled dog to be put to sleep. It's absolutely horrible, but your wonderful dog is no longer suffering.

[Bebpo]

Health shit:

Been sick for 2 months, had my last immune suppressing meds almost 7 weeks ago when I guess I still had some of this year's flu lingering in my body which meant when zero immune system drop happened it jumped all over my head/face and I got horribly sick and face was like on fire, ears on fire, pressure pains and congestion everywhere, eye got infected, ear seemed infected, etc...thought maybe brain was infected/fluid-y a little for a bit. Was pretty scary. Went through antibiotics/steroids/immune system came back and eventually a lot of the symptoms cleared.

What's left has been this on/off pressure in one ear and down behind the ear and up and across to the other ear and congestion and pain. Been working like half-time for almost a month and a lot of days I haven't been able to do much because brain fog and pain and just don't feel up to anything social or thinking beyond some gaming and sleep and netflix.

ENT couldn't figure it out, sinuses were fine, did CT scan and stuff. Referred me to an ear specialist like a month ago and finally got in today. Besides confirming I have Euschian Tube Dsyfunction which I know I have and seem to always get everytime I'm sick and there's no cure and it just sucks until it goes away someday, he said my ears look great, hearing is perfect, but I feel pain/pressure in my left ear and around because my blood vessels/nerves are hyper-sensitive. He thinks this means I have a moderately severe atypical migraine that only manifests through fucking my ear and head pressure up. He didn't think I have TMJ (neither did my ENT) which is weird because I swear I have TMJ but I think it just flares up for a day or two and then it's gone and can't be diagnosed. My jaw was all fucked up this last weekend for instance but fine today.

Anyhow so he prescribed me an anti-depressant Nortriptyline because apparently at the low dosage (10mg) it works for migraines and nerve pain. I've never been on an anti-depressant and never wanted to be on one because they fuck with your brain, but I'll see if this helps.

I'm also going to go get some of the weed strain I smoked at borecon soon and will see if that helps. I may just need to mellow out and be less tense. Oh and I've given up caffeine completely for about 3 weeks now which is crazy for me but for a while I was taking cold meds daily and sudafed stimulant + daily espresso drink + my anxiety = was having anxiety attacks and felt like I was gonna die all the time so I got off caffeine entirely and I've been pretty chill and non-anxious since. Just being off caffeine almost feels like taking a low-dose klonopin. Might stay off it for a while though I do miss the energy boosts for work & social/dating.

Gonna knock my immune system back to zero next week. Everyone seems to think whatever's going on is an infection so it's ok to take my next med dosage and kill my immune system. If they're wrong I'll maybe die  hopefully they're right.

[Mr Gilhaney]

That sucks man. Hope all goes well.

I had my holidays ruined by my liver issues returning, and I'm still no wiser to what is causing this. But jaundice and itching hell is returning, with me scratching up my legs, feet and hands into looking like a bath salts addict. It isn't as bad as last time, and I at least still have enough energy to go to work. But it's a huge struggle.

Getting absolutely no sleep. Think at most 4 hours combined the last 3 days.

But hey, new full genetics test in a few days, and going back on meds seems to help. I still got like 80 tablets of barbitals left, for when this finally drives me too crazy to bother with anymore.

[agrajag]

My mom passed away this past Tuesday. Funeral was yesterday. My grand-aunt is turning 95 today, she's been very sick the last few years and my mom was very worried about how much time she had. No cause of death yet. She wasn't sick, she was an energetic, optimistic person. Family is in a complete shock and overcome with grief. The past week has been super hectic, just running around and making arrangements, cooking for my family, cleaning, etc. Now I am just tired and empty. 

[CatsCatsCats]

Sending love, so sorry to hear about your loss

[shosta]

That's tough, agrajag. I'm sorry for your loss.

[Brehvolution]

Sorry for your loss. 

[BIONIC]

My mom passed away this past Tuesday. Funeral was yesterday. My grand-aunt is turning 95 today, she's been very sick the last few years and my mom was very worried about how much time she had. No cause of death yet. She wasn't sick, she was an energetic, optimistic person. Family is in a complete shock and overcome with grief. The past week has been super hectic, just running around and making arrangements, cooking for my family, cleaning, etc. Now I am just tired and empty. 

Sorry to hear that, agra. Stay strong.

[Madrun Badrun]

Sorry Agra. 

[I'm a Puppy!]

I'm sorry agra. I love you man.

[agrajag]

thanks fellas. It's extra tough because I have a bipolar older sister and I also have to manage her stress levels and I am supposed to move to another state for work soon. In a way it worked out that my move got delayed, because I got to spend extra time with mom.

[El Babua]

So sorry agra, stay tough

[Bebpo]

My mom passed away this past Tuesday. Funeral was yesterday. My grand-aunt is turning 95 today, she's been very sick the last few years and my mom was very worried about how much time she had. No cause of death yet. She wasn't sick, she was an energetic, optimistic person. Family is in a complete shock and overcome with grief. The past week has been super hectic, just running around and making arrangements, cooking for my family, cleaning, etc. Now I am just tired and empty. 

I'm so sorry for your loss.

[skullstorm]

I'm really sorry Agra, I can't even imagine what you must be going through 

[BisMarckie]

I'm sorry agra. I hope you and your family are able to stay strong.

[Cerveza mas fina]

Sorry to hear agra

Came here to post my wife had another miscarriage but shit thats nothing compared to what you are going through.

Stay strong.

[I'm a Puppy!]

Sorry to hear agra

Came here to post my wife had another miscarriage but shit thats nothing compared to what you are going through.

Stay strong.

Dude, miscarriages hurt. I'm sorry. That sucks. One in three pregnancies end in miscarriage, but that doesn't make it any easier.

[Mr Gilhaney]

Sorry to hear about that Agra.

Sorry to hear agra

Came here to post my wife had another miscarriage but shit thats nothing compared to what you are going through.

Stay strong.

It's not a competition after all. That fucking sucks as well dude.

[Madrun Badrun]

Sorry Lager. 

[agrajag]

Sorry to hear agra

Came here to post my wife had another miscarriage but shit thats nothing compared to what you are going through.

Stay strong.

No man, not at all. Both are tragedies, and we can all  together.

[shosta]

That really sucks, Lager. Have you thought about going to a fertility doctor?

[chronovore]

Sorry to hear about your miscarriage, Lager. That's incredibly rough for both of you.

Agrajag, my heart goes out to you. Losing a parent is so difficult. Time will make it hurt less.

[El Babua]

Sorry for you and the Mrs, Lager

[Cerveza mas fina]

Thanks guys, this was our third miscarriage, luckily we already have one great kid

That really sucks, Lager. Have you thought about going to a fertility doctor?

Wife is close to 40 now so a higher miscarriage rate is normal. 

I think this was our last try because its pretty taxing mentally on us.

[Oblivion]

edit: oh dear. i thought this was the other thread that was about annoying stuff but not serious shit like

sorry to hear what happened Lager

[Cerveza mas fina]

Just an update, apparently the bleeding stopped quickly so there is a chance the baby survived, well get a scan soon... Fingers crossed. Mental rollercoaster.

[team filler]

[Mr Gilhaney]

After two years it seems like the doctors are finally getting my diagnosis right. Primary sclerosing cholangitis. Shit sucks. 

[team filler]

this was supposed to be in the other thread 

[skullstorm]

After two years it seems like the doctors are finally getting my diagnosis right. Primary sclerosing cholangitis. Shit sucks. 

I had to google what that is, sounds really shitty, sorry man 

[Cerveza mas fina]

Damn gilhaney that sucks man

[agrajag]

Sorry man. 

[Bebpo]

After two years it seems like the doctors are finally getting my diagnosis right. Primary sclerosing cholangitis. Shit sucks. 

I'm sorry Mr Gilhaney,
Now that they know what they're dealing with, can they work to treat you better?

[Mr Gilhaney]

After two years it seems like the doctors are finally getting my diagnosis right. Primary sclerosing cholangitis. Shit sucks. 

I'm sorry Mr Gilhaney,
Now that they know what they're dealing with, can they work to treat you better?

Seems like they can ease the symptoms better, especially with ercp (which I am having on friday for the first time, nervous af), but cant actually do anything about the progession of the sickness. Only real solution seems to be transplant, so hey, sign up to that donor list. 

[Brehvolution]

 

[Raist]

(Image removed from quote.)

 

http://www.thebore.com/forum/index.php?topic=45694.0

[Valkyrie]

7 months since my grandpa passed away. It’s been tough, and I still cry about it sometimes.

Couple of days ago I was told that my other grandpa was diagnosed with throat cancer.
Waiting for more info on Friday, so we don’t know anything yet except that he’s too old for chemo.

[Cerveza mas fina]

Grandparents are the best

[Valkyrie]

Right? Grandparents should live forever, they’re too precious.

I made it 29 with all my grandparents still alive, only just lost my first this last September. My grandma is still super demented and tough to deal with, but she’s the youngest at soon 81. My other grandparents are like 89, so the “good” thing about my grandpa is that he might actually die of old age before the cancer spreads and fucks him over. It’s really surprising because my family has very very healthy genes. They live to around 90, and I’m honestly relieved the cancer came late instead of way sooner if that makes any sense.

[Raist]

Sorry to hear that Sophie - that's a rough patch to go through.

If that's any "consolation", I never got to know two of my grandparents; then my mom's dad passed away when I was really young (7 I think) and my dad's mom was, well, kinda evil.

Carpe Diem, brehs.

[Tasty]

Probably ruined a five-year friendship cause we were drinking and they upset me I guess and I told them off.

And it was pretty nasty (apparently; I don't remember.) Figures this would happen the third time I've drank in as many months.

I apologized but I wouldn't accept it if I were them. And I'm frustrated because right now really isn't a good time to deal with this, but it's self inflicted so I can't even complain about it really...

Outside of this thread of course. Doubly frustrating because I legitimately thought I was past this, since a similar thing happened last year....

Might be time to kick alcohol to the curb entirely. It's clear after the last few months that 1. I don't need it, and 2. I don't have the self-control required to consume it responsibly when I do drink.

Lot to think about in the coming days.

[I'm a Puppy!]

Hang in there tasty! I believe in you!

[Tasty]

Hang in there tasty! I believe in you!

That makes one of us!

[shosta]

The first degree burn on my penis still hasn’t healed.