That's it, the credits are rolling, I'm done.
That was godawful, and as Cindi points out, the most pointless sequel ever made. I will have unmarked spoilers here but I don't think anyone gives a shit so here we go:
- The evil redhead who is like HO HO HO NOW I CONTROL THE CHI YOU MEN: What the fuck? Who the fuck is this? Why do I care? What's her relationship to Lan Di?
- Wreck-it Ralph and the shrine maiden: What a goddamn stupid cutscene that was (you know the one).
- Ren's character: ALL OVER the place. Why is he even in this game?
- Chai: He's fucking terrifying in the first game, he isn't in the second game, and he's back in this to say KEE KEE KEE! NIHON JIN YOWAI! and get tooled in a bunch of bad QTEs.
- The fight against the Kickstarter backers: FUCK this.
- The fight against Lan Di: wow I've really come far in my training since Shenmue I.
- The ending: Well, that's the ending to Shenmue because they aren't making any more after this trainwreck.
This is the one and only line I actually LOL'ed at in the script. Ryo finally gets a clue:
https://youtu.be/RI8SC_9USWw?t=81