You know, maybe I need to go back to being myself on my dating profiles. At some point I stopped being a nerdy weird guy and started making normalized profiles that would attract more people instead of just a small nerdy subset. Like I have no mention of videogames or Japanese really on my profiles, and obviously that's a big part of my life.
But that small nerdy niche are the only people that when I do match with, I click with. And I used to do a lot better in online dating, which I've just been attributing to the market saturating and being harder to stand out as more attractive guys use it and getting older and less desirable with age each year.
But maybe I did better when I was online dating and met cooler people and had better adventures (even if most didn't work out) when years ago I came off more myself and nerdy. Might be time to redo my profiles.
If you’re a rich lawyer, you should look into professional matchmaking services. Usually they screen the men pretty hard but it seems like you would make it through.
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I did for a year and it wasn't cheap, they thought I was a great catch and tried to match me around but to no avail and eventually they gave up on me
Half-joking, I kinda feel like I'm hopeless at this point. It doesn't seem to matter who am, or how I carry myself, no one that I'm attracted to is interested in a short middle aged man with a 9-5. I honestly wonder if looking around for some sort of a life/dating coach like a workout trainer would help. I just feel like I've been doing this wrong my whole life and that's why I'm one of the only ones left single in my group of friends at this age.
The weird thing is about once a year, just doing what I'm doing and being me, I'll match with some awesome attractive person who finds me interesting and likes me, which makes me feel like I'm actually alright at dating. But then it doesn't work out (almost always because they end up with someone else they're dating whose a little taller, and a more "cool" job [dj, videogame designer, actor are all real situations where this happened in the past]) and then for the other 11 months of the year I get no good matches at all and feel like it's not working.
If I recall correctly, that dating coach was a loser and was misrepresenting you left and right. You need to think about trying a different life coach, or dating service, and giving it another go. You’re a sweet guy, very considerate, and I think you haven’t really matched with people that are good around people who are as open as you are. The one girlfriend of yours that I’ve met was clearly self absorbed.
Well it wasn't a dating coach, just a matchmaker, so it's not like I was getting any real advice on improving myself/dating. I'd be open to using a matchmaker again or having a dating coach but idk how you find a good person.
