Author Topic: RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011  (Read 1399130 times)

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BIONIC

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Re: RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011
« Reply #10620 on: April 30, 2019, 07:16:20 AM »
Online dating is literally the abyss  ::)
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Olivia Wilde Homo

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Re: RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011
« Reply #10621 on: April 30, 2019, 07:22:36 AM »
I know I've complained about this before, but I feel the need to vent again.

I've mentioned how I've been quite aggravated over my horrendous response rate on dating sites/apps. And it doesn't matter which one I use, the results are similar throughout. My response rate is like 1 per 100. As you can imagine, it's quite frustrating, especially when I don't think I'm that bad looking. Sure, I ain't no model, nor have I claimed to be, but I'm solidly between 7-8. So you would think I'd ad least get responses higher than goddamned 1%.

But that would just be me bitching about stuff that's not new. What IS new, and kind of adds to the frustration, is that I have a co-worker, who looks roughly the same as me. We have roughly the same height, facial features and build, though he's got slightly more muscle (though also slightly more fat). Honestly speaking, between me and him, I'd give him the edge in terms of overall looks (keepin' it real here). But again...it's JUST an edge. We're not talking a night and day difference. Yet apparently he gets dozens of responses per day. Responses where he claims he's not interested in 90% of them. Which, okay fine, you're not into them, no problem. But I don't get responses even from women I have no interest in! Sometimes I'll even message fat, unattractive chicks JUST to see if I'll get a response, which insultingly enough, doesn't happen either.

Ive tried different things throughout the years. Better pictures, more in depth profiles, claiming I'm into exciting shit like skydiving even though I'm not. Since 2012 when I started online dating, literally none of these things, either on their own or taken together have remotely effected my response rate.

What the hell gives?  :maf :'(

I have a friend who bullshits constantly on dating apps. He’ll photoshop his pictures, he’ll lie about his hobbies or his income, etc. He does very well and apparently the girls don’t care. Doesn’t seem like honesty gets you very far in the online dating world.
🍆🍆

Rahxephon91

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Re: RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011
« Reply #10622 on: April 30, 2019, 10:43:39 AM »
You sure?

Even if I use a picture like this on my profile? :hitler
Being good looking and shit is pretty useless if your afraid and/or not trying.

Rahxephon91

  • Senior Member
Re: RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011
« Reply #10623 on: April 30, 2019, 12:04:41 PM »
I have vastly more courage than you do numbnuts.
No, you really don’t.

Because if you did you’d just throw these pictures that you finally found the courage to take into some dating app just to see what happens. Instead of years of posts of “oh online dating sounds hard, I don’t know if I could do that. But I could maybe because I’m actually really really good but I don’t know oh but these things you all are complaining about won’t  happen to me maybe because if I’d try I’d actually be really good at it”.

But if you have all this courage why don’t you just put yourself out there?

Also your the one who couldn’t go to the store to buy condoms, so checkmate.
« Last Edit: May 05, 2019, 04:29:35 PM by Rahxephon91 »

Kara

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Re: RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011
« Reply #10624 on: May 06, 2019, 02:12:56 AM »
Posting this in this thread because:

1. I have nowhere else to talk about it / no one I would consider talking to about it. (Apologies to the Boreans with whom I have offline / offsite friendships with.)
2. After the shit thread that still inexplicably persists despite GAF imploding aeons ago this is the thread where people most openly enjoy the misery of others.

With that out of the way.

I'm going to be having a nice dinner and drinks with my one true ex in the near future. Real Bore fans will recall this as the relationship whose end broke me pretty bad for what, years? (you can't break that which is already broken -ed.) I'm going into it mostly blind about her personal life; we've kept in touch since the split but there's always been a certain (understandable) estrangement to our interactions, an estrangement that has rapidly thawed over the last few days. (I really never thought I'd text her again, for example.)

I'm 90% certain I'll regret this interaction and 100% certain I'll regret bailing on it, the latter percentage is so high because we don't even live on the same continent anymore and the former one is so high because I try to live my life by the simple principle of not asking questions to which I cannot handle any and all answers (This is a useful life skill if you are considering a thankless life in service of the bourgeoisie, fyi.) and it stretches man's capacity for credulity to think that no such questions will arise this particular evening.

Anyway, ngl but I'm pretty scared, largely because this episode has brought back to the surface a lot of raw emotion that I thought I'd been able to suppress in a durable peace with myself. In actuality though all I'd done was figure out how to not let my mind glide over certain subjects, the emotional equivalent of touching a hot stove and deciding not to touch it again after being burned. At an intellectual level I always knew this was probably true, but it's one thing to think, "I'm fucked," and another entirely to experience your unmaking once more.

The shame of our deaths and our heresies is done. They are behind us, like wretched phantoms, et cetera et cetera et cetera.

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Re: RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011
« Reply #10625 on: May 06, 2019, 02:31:02 AM »
go raidahs!
*****

remy

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Re: RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011
« Reply #10626 on: May 06, 2019, 05:40:41 AM »
5 year relationship just went down the toilet this week i got dumped brehs  :-\

wants to be friend, "you're important to me" "i value you" "i love you but not in love with you" whatever.

i really feel like human garbage. I am not looking forward to online dating lmao. aat least I got a 3 month headstart on hit the gym

tiesto

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Re: RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011
« Reply #10627 on: May 06, 2019, 08:15:59 AM »
Oh man, that's rough, remy :(
That's good you got a head start on the gym. Here's hoping you'll bounce back soon, unfortunately online dating has gotten worse during the time you've been off the market  :-\
^_^

Rufus

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Re: RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011
« Reply #10628 on: May 06, 2019, 01:55:24 PM »
This is the time to tap into your apathy reserves, gentlemen. Always remember, strong emotions only re-inforce your memories, so don't do anything stupid right now. :bolo

Kara

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Re: RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011
« Reply #10629 on: May 06, 2019, 02:52:37 PM »
Everything you're saying makes perfect sense and I agree with it.

Unfortunately my emotional self disagrees.

Doing something stupid is a broad category, but in a best case scenario I'm going to do something stupid. In a worst case scenario I will also do something stupid.

BIONIC

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Re: RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011
« Reply #10630 on: May 06, 2019, 03:03:10 PM »
Everything you're saying makes perfect sense and I agree with it.

Unfortunately my emotional self disagrees.

Doing something stupid is a broad category, but in a best case scenario I'm going to do something stupid. In a worst case scenario I will also do something stupid.

Maybe our relationship expert Rahx can give you some tips to handle this situation  :-*
Margs

Rufus

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Re: RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011
« Reply #10631 on: May 06, 2019, 03:09:40 PM »
Just avoid the shit that makes you wince in retrospect.

I realize it's not always obvious in the moment, but I believe in you.  You-can do-it. :punch

BisMarckie

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Re: RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011
« Reply #10632 on: May 06, 2019, 03:53:08 PM »
Everything you're saying makes perfect sense and I agree with it.

Unfortunately my emotional self disagrees.

Doing something stupid is a broad category, but in a best case scenario I'm going to do something stupid. In a worst case scenario I will also do something stupid.
I couldn't get over my first real relationship either, I was thinking about her and putting her on a pedestal for years.  Actually meeting her helped a lot with sorting my emotions.
She wasn't like how I pictured her in my memory, like at all.
In fact I was reminded of all the things I disliked about her and how our relationship was never going to have a real chance. And even if we got back together that there was too much baggage to ever make it work again.
Insert inspirational quote by Mao here

shosta

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Re: RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011
« Reply #10633 on: May 06, 2019, 04:01:41 PM »
Insert inspirational quote by Mao here
We should rid our ranks of all impotent thinking. All views that overestimate the strength of the enemy and underestimate the strength of the people are wrong.

"The Present Situation and Our Tasks" (December 25, 1947), Selected Works, Vol. IV, p. 173.
每天生气

Kara

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Re: RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011
« Reply #10634 on: May 06, 2019, 04:45:43 PM »
Women hold up half the sky. :bolo

Kara

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Re: RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011
« Reply #10635 on: May 06, 2019, 04:47:33 PM »
This wasn't my first real relationship. Rah's ceaseless shit posting itt actually inspired me to look that particular woman up a few months (?) ago and I learned that my first love now draws sexy cat girls for money. Respect the hustle, but I definitely dodged a bullet there.

:jgames

BisMarckie

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Re: RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011
« Reply #10636 on: May 06, 2019, 04:48:52 PM »
My advice still applies regardless. :bolo

BisMarckie

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Re: RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011
« Reply #10637 on: May 06, 2019, 04:49:09 PM »
Try to move a couch with a woman and say they hold up half of anything  :hmph

:rodney

shosta

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Re: RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011
« Reply #10638 on: May 06, 2019, 05:10:57 PM »
I try to live my life by the simple principle of not asking questions to which I cannot handle any and all answers (This is a useful life skill if you are considering a thankless life in service of the bourgeoisie, fyi.) and it stretches man's capacity for credulity to think that no such questions will arise this particular evening.
You should consider acclimating yourself to worst case topics that will come up or you'll end up with your hand in a gravy bowl by the end of the night. For instance, if she's seeing someone, that's absolutely going to come up. Better to pretreat your brain to the instantaneous reaction than to have ten straight minutes of dead air while you try to chew your food and your feelings simultaneously.

Related, maybe think through what you want to accomplish with meeting up with her. Do you recognize that you both have your own lives and think of this as just a friendly chat to catch up with each other while the opportunity allows itself? Or are you desperate to see her because you love her? This is the only explanation for choosing something you intuitively feel will go badly but completely forbidding yourself from missing the opportunity. Knowing your true intentions will make it easier for you to predict what you're going to do when it finally happens.
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Re: RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011
« Reply #10639 on: May 06, 2019, 05:19:37 PM »
fuck all this dumb advice. get deep in that pussy, kara  :jawalrus
*****

Kara

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Re: RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011
« Reply #10640 on: May 06, 2019, 05:34:51 PM »
Related, maybe think through what you want to accomplish with meeting up with her. Do you recognize that you both have your own lives and think of this as just a friendly chat to catch up with each other while the opportunity allows itself? Or are you desperate to see her because you love her? This is the only explanation for choosing something you intuitively feel will go badly but completely forbidding yourself from missing the opportunity. Knowing your true intentions will make it easier for you to predict what you're going to do when it finally happens.

I had to come up with a genuine answer to the question "if you could have any 3 things what would they be?" awhile back. Items #1 and #2 are not germane to the discussion but #3 was to hear her laugh again. A genuine laugh that only a few people (including myself) would recognize.

I reasonably believe that this is something that is more likely than not to occur during an evening, especially if we are drinking. If I have to deal with awkward situations or unpleasant feelings to get what I want, well, to obtain, something of equal value must be lost. That is alchemy's first law of Equivalent Exchange. :shaq2

toku

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Re: RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011
« Reply #10641 on: May 06, 2019, 06:06:07 PM »
Related, maybe think through what you want to accomplish with meeting up with her. Do you recognize that you both have your own lives and think of this as just a friendly chat to catch up with each other while the opportunity allows itself? Or are you desperate to see her because you love her? This is the only explanation for choosing something you intuitively feel will go badly but completely forbidding yourself from missing the opportunity. Knowing your true intentions will make it easier for you to predict what you're going to do when it finally happens.

I had to come up with a genuine answer to the question "if you could have any 3 things what would they be?" awhile back. Items #1 and #2 are not germane to the discussion but #3 was to hear her laugh again. A genuine laugh that only a few people (including myself) would recognize.

I reasonably believe that this is something that is more likely than not to occur during an evening, especially if we are drinking. If I have to deal with awkward situations or unpleasant feelings to get what I want, well, to obtain, something of equal value must be lost. That is alchemy's first law of Equivalent Exchange. :shaq2


Oblivion

  • Senior Member
Re: RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011
« Reply #10642 on: May 06, 2019, 11:48:03 PM »
Man, the women who respond to your messages very sporadically, but give really detailed, effort filled responses are so damn hard to read.

Rahxephon91

  • Senior Member
Re: RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011
« Reply #10643 on: May 07, 2019, 09:18:46 AM »
Everything you're saying makes perfect sense and I agree with it.

Unfortunately my emotional self disagrees.

Doing something stupid is a broad category, but in a best case scenario I'm going to do something stupid. In a worst case scenario I will also do something stupid.

Maybe our relationship expert Rahx can give you some tips to handle this situation  :-*
Oh no, I rather let Dufus handle this one with his infinite amounts of courage.

Kara

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Re: RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011
« Reply #10644 on: May 07, 2019, 11:03:05 AM »
(Image removed from quote.)

The toku #brand is saying "bless up" to people wracked by fear and self-doubt!!!!!!!!!!

spoiler (click to show/hide)
[close]

Kara

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Re: RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011
« Reply #10645 on: May 07, 2019, 11:03:17 AM »
Seriously though Dmitri Dmitriyevich gave some good advice and I've been thinking about worst case scenarios while I can't sleep at night, which tbh has yielded some interesting answers to the question. e.g. We have mostly mediated our post-relationship interaction through several layers of irony and I'm both afraid that how's the night is going to go as well and that that particular crutch won't be there at all because why would you persist with that in this situation.

toku

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Re: RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011
« Reply #10646 on: May 07, 2019, 12:36:40 PM »
You're gonna have a wonderful conversation over a nice meal.

Huff

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Re: RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011
« Reply #10647 on: May 07, 2019, 01:01:48 PM »
And maybe a handy under the table
dur

Raist

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Re: RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011
« Reply #10648 on: May 07, 2019, 02:21:39 PM »
Beejay or bust.

CatsCatsCats

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Kara

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Re: RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011
« Reply #10650 on: May 08, 2019, 02:01:00 AM »
We texted all day about our days. It was nice in a "the way things used to be" sort of way. My fear about irony poising was well-founded, unfortunately, but I intuit now at last that the responsibility for this is largely (if not wholly) borne by me, which means that I can avoid that outcome if I want to. Go Raiders.

Kara

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Re: RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011
« Reply #10651 on: May 08, 2019, 02:01:17 AM »
P.S. The carnal posts are flattering but any semblance of charm I once possessed has long since been hammered out of me and 18 months bound to a new Internal Revenue Code has not exactly left me a sexy lich.

Raist

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Re: RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011
« Reply #10652 on: May 08, 2019, 05:46:20 AM »
If not enough time for the gym, plenty of time for a neck tattoo.

BlueTsunami

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Re: RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011
« Reply #10653 on: May 08, 2019, 11:44:17 AM »
Can you hit the weight room a couple times before the dinner at least?

Blast out a couple of hundred pushups right before walking through the restaurant threshold. Renter her life as pumped, veiny, and out of breath.
:9

toku

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Re: RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011
« Reply #10654 on: May 08, 2019, 12:34:06 PM »
cyrillic on your neck would be a dope look ngl

BIONIC

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Re: RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011
« Reply #10655 on: May 08, 2019, 12:38:26 PM »
Assy  :tocry
Margs

MMaRsu

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Re: RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011
« Reply #10656 on: May 08, 2019, 04:13:41 PM »
Today I gave a girl at the supermarket who works behind the cash register my number on a piece of paper..

She's always smiling and looking me in my eyes when I go to her lane, always wanting to strike up a conversation.

I already knows she smokes weed cause she told me, then like a week later or something she said she was doing exams and I was like allright let's smoke one if you pass them she was like hell yeah I'm going to hold you to that

So today she was working, I only went to grab 1 drink around 6pm before going home to eat. She said only 1 ( cause usually I get a lot of stuff from the supermarket ) and I was like yeah but I'm coming back later.. she said allright make sure to come to my lane then  :lol I was like Oh I will

So I went back later, wrote my number on a slip of paper and wrote beneath it something like txt me when you pass those exams ( or sooner if you can't wait that long haha ). So I gave her the paper she started blushing so much she turned super red and she said she'd read it later and I was like sure thing.

 :-\ I feel stupid for writing what I wrote on that shit, should have just been my number instead.

But who knows, at least I made a move sorta  :esports

Let the "should have written "can I choke you" instead" jokes commence  :lol

What

toku

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Re: RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011
« Reply #10657 on: May 08, 2019, 04:17:54 PM »
should have wrote your dick measurements

team filler

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Re: RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011
« Reply #10658 on: May 08, 2019, 04:42:00 PM »
*thebore.com url :blessup
*****

BisMarckie

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Re: RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011
« Reply #10659 on: May 08, 2019, 04:43:19 PM »
Should have asked who she's going to vote for in the primaries

Trump was right, voter fraud is out of control if people from the Netherlands are voting. :maf

shosta

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Re: RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011
« Reply #10660 on: May 08, 2019, 04:52:09 PM »
she started blushing so much she turned super red
You could say she was choking up.
每天生气

shosta

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Re: RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011
« Reply #10661 on: May 08, 2019, 05:04:09 PM »
Can we make "go raidahs!" the thread title? Please?
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MMaRsu

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Re: RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011
« Reply #10662 on: May 08, 2019, 05:07:36 PM »
I mean if she hasnt texted me yet by now that probably means shes not gonna right  :lol

or did she actually think I meant that "when you pass those exams" lulz
What

Raist

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Re: RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011
« Reply #10663 on: May 08, 2019, 06:21:45 PM »
Convoluted highschool shit

Just ask her out you muppet.

benjipwns

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Re: RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011
« Reply #10664 on: May 08, 2019, 06:42:04 PM »
Posting this in this thread because:

1. I have nowhere else to talk about it / no one I would consider talking to about it. (Apologies to the Boreans with whom I have offline / offsite friendships with.)
2. After the shit thread that still inexplicably persists despite GAF imploding aeons ago this is the thread where people most openly enjoy the misery of others.

With that out of the way.

I'm going to be having a nice dinner and drinks with my one true ex in the near future. Real Bore fans will recall this as the relationship whose end broke me pretty bad for what, years? (you can't break that which is already broken -ed.) I'm going into it mostly blind about her personal life; we've kept in touch since the split but there's always been a certain (understandable) estrangement to our interactions, an estrangement that has rapidly thawed over the last few days. (I really never thought I'd text her again, for example.)

I'm 90% certain I'll regret this interaction and 100% certain I'll regret bailing on it, the latter percentage is so high because we don't even live on the same continent anymore and the former one is so high because I try to live my life by the simple principle of not asking questions to which I cannot handle any and all answers (This is a useful life skill if you are considering a thankless life in service of the bourgeoisie, fyi.) and it stretches man's capacity for credulity to think that no such questions will arise this particular evening.

Anyway, ngl but I'm pretty scared, largely because this episode has brought back to the surface a lot of raw emotion that I thought I'd been able to suppress in a durable peace with myself. In actuality though all I'd done was figure out how to not let my mind glide over certain subjects, the emotional equivalent of touching a hot stove and deciding not to touch it again after being burned. At an intellectual level I always knew this was probably true, but it's one thing to think, "I'm fucked," and another entirely to experience your unmaking once more.

The shame of our deaths and our heresies is done. They are behind us, like wretched phantoms, et cetera et cetera et cetera.
Seriously though Dmitri Dmitriyevich gave some good advice and I've been thinking about worst case scenarios while I can't sleep at night, which tbh has yielded some interesting answers to the question. e.g. We have mostly mediated our post-relationship interaction through several layers of irony and I'm both afraid that how's the night is going to go as well and that that particular crutch won't be there at all because why would you persist with that in this situation.
wait, this isn't the bad vibes you secretly fear will suddenly become relevant thread

shosta

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Re: RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011
« Reply #10665 on: May 10, 2019, 05:16:21 PM »
每天生气

brawndolicious

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Re: RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011
« Reply #10666 on: May 11, 2019, 12:11:01 AM »
I mean if she hasnt texted me yet by now that probably means shes not gonna right  :lol

or did she actually think I meant that "when you pass those exams" lulz

I think you were just a bit too thirsty for a man in a country that's underwater. I'm going to guess that:

  • you never flirted with her before, like saying she looks pretty today or whatever. Therefore this is all a bit wtf to her
  • if she texts you back, that means unpacking the intentions of a person she never knew had any hopes of being with her
  • you're gonna start shopping at another store

It'll be fine and your brain will learn how not to embarrass itself in the future. But tonight, you drink and watch porn.

shosta

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Re: RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011
« Reply #10667 on: May 11, 2019, 12:19:00 AM »
your brain will learn how not to embarrass itself in the future
:doge
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CatsCatsCats

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Re: RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011
« Reply #10668 on: May 11, 2019, 12:19:47 AM »
It’s the “if you can’t wait” that probably killed it imo


Edit: oh it was just today, it’s not dead yet. Just don’t do anything about it and maybe she’ll text. If not, sorry you have to find a new grocer

MMaRsu

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Re: RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011
« Reply #10669 on: May 11, 2019, 05:40:50 AM »
If she doesnt text its no skin off my back but I would have preferred it lol
What

BikeJesus

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Re: RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011
« Reply #10670 on: May 11, 2019, 11:48:05 PM »
Anyone else love eating a pussy that has been working up a sweat all day? The chick I'm seeing is super clean and changes her socks and underwear two or three times a day. However, when we get home from a bike ride, I don't want her to shower before I eat that box. After-shower pussy doesn't have a taste. She thinks it is strange I want to lick the sweat from between her ass-cheeks, but I think deep down she likes my animalistic side.

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Re: RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011
« Reply #10671 on: May 11, 2019, 11:58:09 PM »
 :mynicca
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Oblivion

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Re: RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011
« Reply #10672 on: May 12, 2019, 12:32:12 AM »
Anyone else love eating a pussy that has been working up a sweat all day? The chick I'm seeing is super clean and changes her socks and underwear two or three times a day. However, when we get home from a bike ride, I don't want her to shower before I eat that box. After-shower pussy doesn't have a taste. She thinks it is strange I want to lick the sweat from between her ass-cheeks, but I think deep down she likes my animalistic side.

Sounds disgusting, breh.

I've had some pretty bad luck going down on women. Far too many seem to lack basic hygiene for some reason. I make sure to wash down there regularly, but I go the extra mile to be as clean possible when I'm having sex with someone. I feel like that's like the bare minimum in terms of being considerate.

People are nasty sometimes.  :yuck

Kara

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Re: RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011
« Reply #10673 on: May 12, 2019, 01:55:36 AM »
Can you hit the weight room a couple times before the dinner at least?

I haven't been eating very much cuz "lol nerves" and lifting cuz "lol nerves" but this is all "closing the barn door after the animals get out" stuff.

Plus I had to fly out of town this weekend (i.e. lots of booze calories).

Anyway, I'll have a post mortem on the evening next week. Looking forward to getting what I want at a high cost. :money

Kara

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Re: RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011
« Reply #10674 on: May 16, 2019, 01:29:07 AM »
tl;dr Despite some self-sabotage at the start of the evening, I got what I wanted and quite a bit more on top of that. I received good advice from many of you (thanks!), but ultimately it was filler whose advice was the most salient. Go Raiders, ban the mods, et cetera.

Anyway:

spoiler (click to show/hide)
Her schedule had some uncertainties in it the night we met up so I made two different restaurant reservations. The earlier one was at a nice but moody establishment that closed early (for a city, imo) and the other was at a less nice location that remained open until late in the morning that also happened to be walking distance from my hotel. She expressed a preference for the latter option when I asked for her input and that was the right call in the sense that I ended up having to push back an already late reservation because of the way things played out.

When she finally got to her hotel she texted me its location and I noticed that I was along the way to the restaurant (if you generously interpret “along the way”) so I suggested that she meet me at my hotel and we head over to dinner together. I didn’t actually expect her to be amenable to that but she agreed. When she left she texted me that she was on her way and that she’d call me when she arrived.

We’d been texting all day every day for many days by this point but it bears mentioning that we never exchanged any voice communications prior to that night so I hadn’t heard her voice in 5 years when I took her call as I was heading down in the elevator. I didn’t remember her accent being as thick as it was in that moment, but the weight of memory is measured in units so unreliable they hardly qualify as units of measure at all.

You couldn’t enter my hotel unless you were a guest and unfortunately that was something I had completely forgotten about when I’d made this plan so she was standing right in front of the door as I approached it and that did little to assuage my raging uncertainty and self-doubt. When I got outside I didn’t go for a hug, I didn’t say she looked nice, and I certainly didn’t make the alpha move and go for a patented PhoenixDark handshake. No, instead of any of those perfectly fine things I proffered a simple hello. Fucking disgrace. It had started raining so she suggested we take a taxi to the restaurant. I agreed and sped over to one nearby without explaining myself. I’m sure all this seemed odd because she asked me if everything was alright during the drive. It wasn’t obviously but I said that it was.

There was time to kill at the restaurant before our reservation so we went to the bar to get a drink. Neither of us are particularly sonorous and the ambient noise inside was quite the opposite so in perhaps my first wise decision of the evening I opted to sit adjacent to her instead of across the table. After a fair bit of a pleasant wine (we have similar drinking habits) paired with unsteady but equally pleasant conversation (I did however utter the cursed dependent clause, “You know how Mao said the national bourgeoisie had revolutionary potential,") things finally started looking up for this shit show. When we were seated for dinner I kept the seating arrangement we’d had at the bar.

Dinner lasted 3 hours (we were asked to leave or it would have gone on longer); for the most part it went well but my personal lowlights are recounted now for posterity:

-After our entrees came out she started playing footsie with me. Instead of making eye contact to confirm what I thought was happening and leaning in to it I sort of tentatively let my leg drop to slightly touch hers. Side hugging is as much a mindset as it is a physical act.
-At one point she put her head on my on my upper bicep / shoulder and I did not react AT ALL. No words, no physical reaction, nothing. Fucking disgrace.

She kissed me when we left the restaurant and I asked her if she wanted to go back to her room or mine. This lead to a farcical quest for prophylactic for a gaiden to be posted later but eventually we got back to my room and she didn't leave until I had to get ready to check out at noon. Besides the physical intimacy I also shared things I’d always wanted to share over the last 10 years but hadn’t because I fucking suck.

I have had successes in my life, and far more than I ever deserved for a certainty, but this night was unquestionably my greatest one. The culmination of years spent in emotional exile navigating from painful decision to painful decision not knowing exactly what out I was playing towards. I’ve kind of ironically yet kind of sincerely shared this quote before but now more than ever it seems apropos to do so again “We can do nothing more than strive for victory, even if we cannot see how we might triumph.”
[close]

Kara

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Re: RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011
« Reply #10675 on: May 16, 2019, 01:29:21 AM »
^shut up, nerd

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Re: RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011
« Reply #10676 on: May 16, 2019, 01:30:44 AM »
 :jawalrus
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shosta

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Re: RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011
« Reply #10677 on: May 16, 2019, 01:41:45 AM »
probably the most beautiful thing posted in this whole thread in a long time and a story that resonates with my own romantic successes and failures. Congrats, you earned it.
每天生气

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Re: RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011
« Reply #10678 on: May 16, 2019, 02:01:54 AM »
Just Win Baby  :tocry
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Re: RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011
« Reply #10679 on: May 16, 2019, 02:28:20 AM »
This was always a dick appointment for her, kara just turned it into a whole lot more with his commitment to excellence  :pimp
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