Corona Thread |OT| Nu variant, who dis?

[benjipwns]

COVID-19 hasn't killed anyone in the surrounding counties in over a week, and the total for the year is three people. Also only one new case and it predates last week, the person was just late to report into the hospital. This means I'm on the downside of the curve and thus invincible right, going to immediately return to my pre-social distancing procedures of getting in people's carts, licking everything in sight, and attending tight-quarter large scale human events.

modwhining

Whitmer apparently considered shutting down all retail stores indefinitely but got talked out of it for the stupidity it is. This is probably more politics-thread jabber but the dichotomy between the national media talking about her as a rising star and likely VP due to the great response, versus the local media basically just dragging her for all her failures and the fact that she's done basically nothing but issue orders with disclaimers about how they're not to be enforced is stark. Detroit's been the only place with any kind of real outbreak and the DMZ built around the city plus strong local response has done more than Whitmer's statewide orders that have no enforcement provisions. She's also got her own little "resources being sent to politically favorable places that need them less versus sending it all to the Detroit area" scandal brewing. So good on her for showing that maybe she is ready to move up to Senator or so.

[close]

[VomKriege]

I think there's gonna be some mood whiplash when governments will relax current measures, which is bound to happen in the next few months. There will absolutely be a "cost-benefit analysis" of what level of infection & mortality is tolerable. Social desertification will drive people batty before too long.

[Nintex]

I've been looking at cool face masks.

Essentially we can all look like Bane, Hideo Kojima or Deus Ex characters




Or if you are james a Pikachu print

Meanwhile we can walk up to the normies and ask them if they have seen the DARPA CHIEF

[Raist]

https://twitter.com/BorisJohnson/status/1249336590482243585

"Special thanks to Jenny from NZ and Luis from Portugal".

Oh the irony.

[Nintex]

So our government wants an APP.

They announced last Friday that we could all submit plans, the deadline to submit a plan ends Tuesday 12:00.
The app must be deployed 2 weeks after submitting the plan. There's of course a whole series of rules and regulations that must be met.
You can also submit a plan for an app for the 'transition' phase when we lift the lockdown.

This can't possibly go wrong, which is why I'm trying to still submit a plan with less than 24 hours left despite not having started on it yet. 


I'm now working on two plans:

My plan:
- Everyone gets automatic locks on doors and windows and is isolated in their homes
- Everyone gets an app
- Everyone gets a test
- If you don't test your are locked in your home
- When you submit your test, you get a QR code in return
- This code can only be scanned with the app, so you don't know if you have corona chan or not before you scan it

SCAN NEGATIVE
- Locks released, enjoy your life

SCAN POSITIVE
- Locks engaged, placed in isolation
- App will monitor your vitals and automatically order food and other necessities delivered through a cat door
- If you get critical a drone ambulance pick you up to be delivered to the ICU

KILL SWITCH
- Like in the Dark Knight, both the government and general population pick 5 represenatives who each control a 'kiil switch' to disable this system
- When someone clicks the Kill Switch once, it simulates what will happen to the population based on the most recent data (number of deaths, economy etc.)
- When they click the kill Switch again the Kill Switches of all reps lit up, if they click they see the same simulation
- When they click again the system is destroyed
- If a rep dies, the system chooses a new rep at random

Co-workers plan:
- Crypto solution to decentralize health data gathering or something

[Madrun Badrun]

https://www.theglobeandmail.com/canada/article-health-canada-approves-new-rapid-covid-testing-kits/

Health Canada has approved a new rapid test for COVID-19 that can produce results in under an hour, which is expected to alleviate the pressure on public health laboratories and help circumvent testing kit shortages.

Ottawa-based Spartan Bioscience received approval on the weekend and will be ready to start shipping tests for the federal and provincial governments as early as Monday, said Paul Lem, the company’s chief executive officer.

[Madrun Badrun]

https://www.thenation.com/article/society/coronavirus-class-war-labor/

https://www.propublica.org/article/coronavirus-er-doctors-nurses-benefits

Alteon Health, backed by private-equity firms Frazier Healthcare Partners and New Mountain Capital, will cut salaries, time off and retirement benefits for providers, citing lost revenue. Several hospital operators announced similar cuts. 
Emergency room doctors and nurses many of whom are dealing with an onslaught of coronavirus patients and shortages of protective equipment — are now finding out that their compensation is getting cut.

Most ER providers in the U.S. work for staffing companies that have contracts with hospitals. Those staffing companies are losing revenue as hospitals postpone elective procedures and non-coronavirus patients avoid emergency rooms. Health insurers are processing claims more slowly as they adapt to a remote workforce.

[Tripon]

https://twitter.com/KTNV/status/1249697683540807680

[Madrun Badrun]

https://www.thestar.com/news/canada/2020/04/13/ontario-building-massive-health-database-to-aid-covid-19-response.html

Groups involved in the project include the non-profit Compute Ontario, which will manage the platform; provincial superagency Ontario Health; the health research institute ICES; the Toronto-based Vector Institute for Artificial Intelligence; and Queen’s University. The Centre for Advanced Computing at Queen’s will host the platform, the Health Ministry said.

 

spoiler (click to show/hide)

When Vector put out the call to work on Covid stuff, I was like LOL nope, got better things to do.  #shame

My supervisor is doing cool Covid stuff at one of the hospitals though.

[close]

[CatsCatsCats]

The 600/wk is ON TOP of unemployment benefit?

So there’s no way this isn’t going to be more than my actual salary, I just want to thank you all for my neet bucks

[Pissy F Benny]

God bless

[Tripon]

The 600/wk is ON TOP of unemployment benefit?

So there’s no way this isn’t going to be more than my actual salary, I just want to thank you all for my neet bucks

Aren't you in Florida? Are you even able to sign up? I heard Florida's UI system is particularly fuckery.

[CatsCatsCats]

Oregon. I got my letter of estimated benefit thing today

[VomKriege]

French lockdown extended to May 11th.
At this date daycares, schools and everything below universities should reopen. Bars, restaurants, cafés, etc... will stay closed.

Large gatherings (concerts, protest marches...) are not happening before mid-July at best.

Conditions will be relaxed for families to visit their agonizing relatives in hospitals and elder care institutions. That one sounds pretty grim.

Macron says that by May 11th, capacity to test everyone "with symptoms" will be there.
Also by that date a "general population mask" (cloth, I imagine...) should be available for everyone and they might become mandatory to wear.
France being France, he immediately detailed by saying that actually on May 11th the national authorities will make contact with every mayor to set up that "gen pop mask" thing so I wouldn't bet on every citizen having his before May 25th 

More economic packages to support partial unemployment benefits (furloughed with pay, basically) and poor families.

A lot of flowery words (apparently the spin doctors advised to quit the war rhetoric to be more compassionate) that doesn't cost a lot to say. Macron admitted that France was, manifestly, "not enough prepared" which is as much of a mea culpa he'll cop to... For now. But I think he's smart enough to know that the floodgate of criticism will open wide at one point imminently. I expect manifestations of humility to ramp up in the coming weeks.

[VomKriege]

There's also plans for an opt-in app using Bluetooth / proximity, reportedly.

Macron also called for a "massive write off" of African countries debt to help them fight the virus. Will probably live as long as it takes for a "NEIN" to be uttered, but he wouldn't be a French President if he didn't work on looking good at no cost.

[Madrun Badrun]

Conditions will be relaxed for families to visit their agonizing relatives

phrasing

[VomKriege]

https://apnews.com/fe0244481b222600528e0950a17f6aab

Some athletes under a doping ban might be eligible for the Olympics.

[Madrun Badrun]

https://www.thebeaverton.com/2020/04/governments-anxiously-await-modelling-to-predict-when-they-can-resume-cutting-health-budgets/

[VomKriege]

Tangential but Macron also has thrown shade to mayors who took additional measures (Paris recently banned jogging between 10am and 7pm, some cities tried to make masks mandatory, imposed curfews or restricted the sale of alcohol) by reminding that the rules should be the same for everyone and everywhere.

[OnlyRegret]

 

[Madrun Badrun]

US has had two decent days.  Hope its a trend that NY and NJ are starting to get under control. 

[VomKriege]

US has had two decent days.  Hope its a trend that NY and NJ are starting to get under control.

I wish but I expect a nasty rebound when all the stats that were pending this weekends come out at once.

[Nintex]

So our government wants an APP.

They announced last Friday that we could all submit plans, the deadline to submit a plan ends Tuesday 12:00.
The app must be deployed 2 weeks after submitting the plan. There's of course a whole series of rules and regulations that must be met.
You can also submit a plan for an app for the 'transition' phase when we lift the lockdown.

This can't possibly go wrong, which is why I'm trying to still submit a plan with less than 24 hours left despite not having started on it yet. 


I'm now working on two plans:

My plan:
- Everyone gets automatic locks on doors and windows and is isolated in their homes
- Everyone gets an app
- Everyone gets a test
- If you don't test your are locked in your home
- When you submit your test, you get a QR code in return
- This code can only be scanned with the app, so you don't know if you have corona chan or not before you scan it

SCAN NEGATIVE
- Locks released, enjoy your life

SCAN POSITIVE
- Locks engaged, placed in isolation
- App will monitor your vitals and automatically order food and other necessities delivered through a cat door
- If you get critical a drone ambulance pick you up to be delivered to the ICU

KILL SWITCH
- Like in the Dark Knight, both the government and general population pick 5 represenatives who each control a 'kiil switch' to disable this system
- When someone clicks the Kill Switch once, it simulates what will happen to the population based on the most recent data (number of deaths, economy etc.)
- When they click the kill Switch again the Kill Switches of all reps lit up, if they click they see the same simulation
- When they click again the system is destroyed
- If a rep dies, the system chooses a new rep at random

Co-workers plan:
- Crypto solution to decentralize health data gathering or something

Update:

I opted to watch Jojo Rabbit with 2 buddies (of course keeping our distance, OLED FTW  ) and started drinking afterwards.
We therefor decided my co-workers idea is probably better and we'll finish that first thing tomorrow morning.
I'm sorta surprised he managed to find a way to keep the government out of the data collection using crypto.

[OnlyRegret]

US has had two decent days.  Hope its a trend that NY and NJ are starting to get under control.

I no longer know if things are bad, better, or worse anymore.

[toku]

https://twitter.com/Complex/status/1249819442768302082

[Nintex]

https://twitter.com/DailyCaller/status/1249820873131012100

 

[Rufus]

Someone who knows how to put their ego aside for the greater good.

[toku]

I'm so glad all of this is gonna be over by next week!

[Skullfuckers Anonymous]

https://twitter.com/Complex/status/1249819442768302082

Lol, my middle school was the one that started it in 2002. 

[Tripon]

https://twitter.com/jburnmurdoch/status/1249831631587880962
https://twitter.com/jburnmurdoch/status/1249832151534768129

[Tasty]

https://twitter.com/Complex/status/1249819442768302082

Lol, my middle school was the one that started it in 2002. 

Weird flex but ok.

[shosta]

Not only that but the federal small business loans don't apply to the gaming industry

And to top it all off, the unemployment system has been completely falling over and lots of people I know can't sign up. Basically what I'm saying is that shit's extremely fucked if the federal government doesn't shape up soon

totally unrelated to anything, there are a lot of guns of here

[shosta]

At Shosta Sr.'s job (the airport) they were giving people 0 hours but keeping them employed and telling them they can't apply for unemployment

so Shosta Sr. taught a bunch of young kids that anyone who loses a paycheck is eligible shady ass businesses outchea

[Skullfuckers Anonymous]

https://twitter.com/Complex/status/1249819442768302082

Lol, my middle school was the one that started it in 2002. 

Weird flex but ok.

Not trying to flex, just amazed that this is it’s legacy. During my time there we had a bomb threat one year and they made a tsa checkpoint outside the lunchroom cause they were afraid of a food fight happening. Weird fucking place.

[Skullfuckers Anonymous]

Let’s get this thread back on track.
https://mobile.twitter.com/nypost/status/1249758098174115841

[Great Rumbler]

STILL AIN'T GOT MY CORONA BUX

[CatsCatsCats]

Nor have I, direct deposit every year. Haven’t done 2019 tho since they extended to July and I owe

[bluemax]

Made my first grocery store trip in over a week.

Things that were good:
- Face coverings required
- Plenty of markers to remind you of distancing
- All aisles 1 way
- More stuff in stock

Things that were bad:
- People who wanted to take 10 years to read labels thus holding things up
- People who ignored the signs and cut ahead or pushed past you or etc.

Highlight:
Fat old white man on a rascal scooter type thing saying "I ain't fucking following their one way signs." Like bruh, you're the one who is most likely gonna get the Rona!

Obviously your random neighborhood super market just doesn't have the personnel to enforce this stuff but it annoyed me how many fucking Karens I had to scowl and sigh at.

[Rahxephon91]

edited

[nachobro]

Nor have I, direct deposit every year. Haven’t done 2019 tho since they extended to July and I owe

STILL AIN'T GOT MY CORONA BUX

my bank emailed me and told me to expect it wednesday if i was getting direct deposit

[nachobro]

coincidentally wednesday is also the day flamin hot doritos tacos are available at taco bell. worth noting.

[demi]

Yeah I see a lot of people getting or should get their bux this week. My bank doesnt show pending online so I'm just going to assume it arrives this week.

Who's onlyfans should I sub to?

[bluemax]

https://corona-virus.la/covid-19-myths

This is where we are at.

[Uncle]

https://twitter.com/Complex/status/1249819442768302082

looks like Complex's tweet is gone as is whatever pic.twitter it was referring to, probably because the guy was wrong

and also "school shootings" include someone having a gun on school property that accidentally goes off, and some dude driving into the school parking lot and committing suicide

[thisismyusername]

Mine.

Only if you're filming with your girl.

https://twitter.com/Complex/status/1249819442768302082

looks like Complex's tweet is gone as is whatever pic.twitter it was referring to, probably because the guy was wrong

and also "school shootings" include someone having a gun on school property that accidentally goes off, and some dude driving into the school parking lot and committing suicide

Pic.twitter.com is just a Twitter embed/image host for an image embed in the tweet. If the tweet is deleted, so is the embed.

[benjipwns]

Only if you're filming with your girl.

Dr. Jill?

[jorma]

The 600/wk is ON TOP of unemployment benefit?

So there’s no way this isn’t going to be more than my actual salary, I just want to thank you all for my neet bucks

So the Murican dude loses his FREEDOMS but gets a boatload of neet bucks to compensate while the Swedish dude keeps all of his FREEDOMS but doesn't get a single neet buck.

Corona really is a helluva virus. 

[team filler]

[nudemacusers]

Got my coronabux, pay check and incentive pay this morning

[Pissy F Benny]

The lighting on this

[Nintex]

Got my coronabux, pay check and incentive pay this morning

Todays Corona Direct

[Rufus]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bWDx3nKm_Gc

"Well that was a shit idea" poster in the back.

[Madrun Badrun]

https://www.cbc.ca/news/business/grocery-store-flyer-covid-19-1.5530979

[Tasty]

Really don't feel good about the location history tracking Google opened up to gov'ts and the public, and also not a fan of this Apple/Google collaboration to strip more digital rights away.

Scary shit.

This is 9/11 and the Patriot Act all over again. COVID panic might be the tool gov'ts need to finally ban encryption and be applauded for that decision by the electorate.

[nachobro]

social credit score coming any day now and now with location tracking any group of people organizing can be punished instantly for doing so

[thisismyusername]

Really don't feel good about the location history tracking Google opened up to gov'ts and the public, and also not a fan of this Apple/Google collaboration to strip more digital rights away.

Scary shit.

...but you... stan... Googie... *head explodes*

This is 9/11 and the Patriot Act all over again. COVID panic might be the tool gov'ts need to finally ban encryption and be applauded for that decision by the electorate.

Goddamn it, where is that "ehhh,"ish Hide the Pain Harold reaction .gif when I need it.

They can certainly try, but like torrents and piracy, you stomp one encryption standard down, others will raise. They can criminalize it (like piracy) but folks would just continue to use it.

And Apple of all fucking people saying they protect peoples privacy and wouldn't unencrypt shit for the FBI would take a beating in terms of PR and trust if they did.

[thisismyusername]

https://www.forbes.com/sites/avivahwittenbergcox/2020/04/13/what-do-countries-with-the-best-coronavirus-reponses-have-in-common-women-leaders/



Ok. Not sure why this needs an article, but this coming across my Facebook feed from feminist democrats is such an "Eva Green popping her eyes out" reaction image.

[toku]

Really don't feel good about the location history tracking Google opened up to gov'ts and the public, and also not a fan of this Apple/Google collaboration to strip more digital rights away.

Scary shit.

This is 9/11 and the Patriot Act all over again. COVID panic might be the tool gov'ts need to finally ban encryption and be applauded for that decision by the electorate.

it's troubling but also feel kinda crazy because the only ppl worried are super nerds and tech heads like us =/

[Leadbelly]

https://www.forbes.com/sites/avivahwittenbergcox/2020/04/13/what-do-countries-with-the-best-coronavirus-reponses-have-in-common-women-leaders/

(Image removed from quote.)

Ok. Not sure why this needs an article, but this coming across my Facebook feed from feminist democrats is such an "Eva Green popping her eyes out" reaction image.

That's great and all, but do you notice that we are expected to hold two contradictory ideas in our head?

- Men and women are exactly the same.
- Men and women are different.

It usually goes something like this: Men and women are exactly the same, except when women are portrayed as somehow better. In that case we're different.

[CatsCatsCats]

No. Men and women are not the same, but all genders should be treated with equal respect my dude