Elon Bought Twitter- X GON GIVE IT TO YA

[benjipwns]

Gotta love the party that claims to be about "acceptance, tolerance, body positivity..." blah blah blah

— Manila Chan ? (@ManilaChan) April 28, 2022

https://twitter.com/ManilaChan/status/1519491214445268996

[Kurt Russell]

I�m blocked by the head of Joe Biden�s new �Disinformation Governance Board.� Is there someone else from the government who can tell me whether I�m spreading the right information? ?? pic.twitter.com/llMqwYNSDY

— Aaron Mat� (@aaronjmate) April 29, 2022

https://twitter.com/aaronjmate/status/1519839363726729218

[Nintex]

I've seen her Tiktoks and read some of her articles.That woman is stone cold crazy

[Nintex]

New ship just dropped fam 

Tweet error (does not exist)

https://twitter.com/davidbix/status/1520195881751957505

[OnlyRegret]

I wish nintex was here to grace us with his take on this

It's actually pretty simple.
They can explain it to themselves however they like but Mr. Musk has owned the libs beautifully and will continue to own them in the weeks, months and perhaps even years ahead even on this very website.

That NYT word salad is just another fantasy brainfart of someone who hangs around Starbucks during the day and watches CNN on repeat at night.
Apparently missing the flamethrower sale, Elon's SNL skit about Peach cheating on Mario, him backing DOGE coin as the worlds new reserve currency and many other great endeavors of Mr. Musk.

Will he try to attract top billing talent that has recently left or was fired from Twitter Corp?

Should be called Trumpet instead!

— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) April 27, 2022

https://twitter.com/elonmusk/status/1519367926708588545

I dunno

fitting that this would revive you

[VomKriege]

Hmmmm.https://t.co/ieYkVRX5ym pic.twitter.com/KHw9C7RmMs

— Travis View (@travis_view) May 1, 2022

https://twitter.com/travis_view/status/1520630058599149568

[chronovore]

pic.twitter.com/Q9OjlJhi7f

— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) April 28, 2022

https://twitter.com/elonmusk/status/1519735033950470144

 

Jesus.

Okay, conservatives bought into the QAnon nonsense, believing that (despite near constant media coverage) a shadowy elite are either eating, fucking, or drinking the blood of young children, presumed election interference meant that Trump had won, rather than seeing that they had only very narrowly lost (however sad that makes me), and held an armed insurrection in the nation’s capitol where they planned to hang the Vice President.

But, okay, libs are the ones who have become extreme because we believe in BLM and would prefer gun nuts stop fucking shooting us.

Sure thing.

[benjipwns]

Much has been made of my recent $44 billion acquisition of Twitter. Reactions have ranged from elation to outrage, all of which I welcome; this is the type of robust exchange that a social media platform should guarantee. But Twitter isn’t the only company in dire need of a culture shift; other, more traditional businesses have badly lost their way. And that is why I’m pleased to announce that I have acquired the sub sandwich restaurant Jimmy John’s for a price of $3.6 billion.

This is an exciting new venture for me. Anyone who knows me knows that I’ve always wanted to master three realms: Space, green technology, and big, beefy subs with lots of gooey cheese melting out the sides. These are, you could say, my passions. And thought I’m immensely proud of what we’ve achieved at SpaceX and Tesla, I’ll be so bold as to predict that we can surpass what we’ve done with what we plan to accomplish at Jimmy John’s. We’re entering a bold new era of hoagies, friends.

But this purchase isn’t just about pushing the boundaries of what can be achieved with freshly baked bread and high-quality meats. It’s also about principle. It’s about what I believe a sub sandwich shop should be, about the implicit contract that a provider of grinders and flatbreads makes with its customers. I feel that Jimmy John’s has fallen sadly short in this obligation. This acquisition is largely to transform Jimmy John’s into the honest, delicious public forum that the people deserve.

Consider: What is the essence of the relationship between a sandwich chain restaurant and its customers? Surely, it’s trust. To quote Thomas Paine: “A body of men holding themselves accountable to nobody ought not to be trusted by anybody.” Jimmy John’s has become one such unaccountable body. They have broken promises; they have ruled with a haughty arrogance that would shame the great tyrants of yore. I speak specifically of their blithe abuse of the Jimmy John’s Freaky Fast Rewards Program.

[Uncle]

This is an exciting new venture for me. Anyone who knows me knows that I’ve always wanted to master three realms: Space, green technology, and big, beefy subs with lots of gooey cheese melting out the sides.

whoever wrote this is an utter fucking moron

they don't serve hot subs 

[benjipwns]

They don't serve "big beefy subs" either. That shit is pathetic and disgusting and the bread is awful.

[jorma]

It’s also about principle. It’s about what I believe a sub sandwich shop should be, about the implicit contract that a provider of grinders and flatbreads makes with its customers. I feel that Jimmy John’s has fallen sadly short in this obligation. This acquisition is largely to transform Jimmy John’s into the honest, delicious public forum that the people deserve.

[Cauliflower Of Love]

benji and uncle disappointing me

It’s about what I believe a sub sandwich shop should be

jesus christ twitter truly has destroyed people inability to pay attt

[Kurt Russell]

[Nintex]

Sunlight is the best disinfectant

— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) May 3, 2022

https://twitter.com/elonmusk/status/1521574200183566338

I wonder how many harddrives are being smashed to bits at Twitter HQ right now

I will call him and ask

— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) May 3, 2022

https://twitter.com/elonmusk/status/1521605949521203200

Ultimately, the downfall of the Freemasons was giving away their stonecutting services for nothing

— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) May 3, 2022

https://twitter.com/elonmusk/status/1521580576297398274

[Potato]

The best timeline!

[benjipwns]

I will call him and ask

— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) May 3, 2022

https://twitter.com/elonmusk/status/1521605949521203200

"Yo, George, you running a massive conspiracy to control access to information?"

[who is ted danson?]

MAKE THE INFLUENCERS PAY!!

[Cauliflower Of Love]

soros!

more like sorries!

[Madrun Badrun]

[Uncle]

rambling video, summary:

part 1
- musk just sold 8 billion in tesla stock
- terminating the twitter deal would incur a 1 billion penalty, but that can be written off against the gains from selling the stock
- tesla stock is massively overvalued and may be at its highest price, set to drop
- because musk sold the stock ostensibly to "fund buying twitter" he gets an easy out to avoid the public panic from selling for no reason

part 2
- musk knows how to manipulate SEO; just before a tesla whistleblower came forward, he made this "lolrandom" tweet and product

Blow the whistle on Tesla!https://t.co/c86hLA0iQK

— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) December 1, 2021

https://twitter.com/elonmusk/status/1465838829370228737

- doing this generated articles that dominated all search results for "elon musk tesla whistleblower" and made the real story difficult to find
- elon's drug use has always negatively affected tesla stock, see marijuana on joe rogan etc. so of course he tries to keep a lid on it
- musk used to date amber heard, who is on trial
- her drug use has been brought up in court, the two of them at least did ambien together
- guess what elon tweeted which has recently dominated articles

Next I�m buying Coca-Cola to put the cocaine back in

— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) April 28, 2022

https://twitter.com/elonmusk/status/1519480761749016577

[Nintex]

Great to connect with you my "new" friend @elonmusk??

I believe you will be an excellent leader for @Twitter to propel & maximise its great potential@Kingdom_KHC & I look forward to roll our ~$1.9bn in the �new� @Twitter and join you on this exciting journey

— ?????? ?? ???? (@Alwaleed_Talal) May 5, 2022

https://twitter.com/Alwaleed_Talal/status/1522171641761046528

[Potato]

So how are all those blue tick people going with their pledge to delete Twitter?

[Uncle]

So how are all those blue tick people going with their pledge to delete Twitter?

bargaining phase: "technically the deal hasn't fully gone through yet, he can still renege on it, a monetary shell game stunt"

[Pissy F Benny]

rambling video, summary:

part 1
- musk just sold 8 billion in tesla stock
- terminating the twitter deal would incur a 1 billion penalty, but that can be written off against the gains from selling the stock
- tesla stock is massively overvalued and may be at its highest price, set to drop
- because musk sold the stock ostensibly to "fund buying twitter" he gets an easy out to avoid the public panic from selling for no reason

part 2
- musk knows how to manipulate SEO; just before a tesla whistleblower came forward, he made this "lolrandom" tweet and product

Blow the whistle on Tesla!https://t.co/c86hLA0iQK

— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) December 1, 2021

https://twitter.com/elonmusk/status/1465838829370228737

- doing this generated articles that dominated all search results for "elon musk tesla whistleblower" and made the real story difficult to find
- elon's drug use has always negatively affected tesla stock, see marijuana on joe rogan etc. so of course he tries to keep a lid on it
- musk used to date amber heard, who is on trial
- her drug use has been brought up in court, the two of them at least did ambien together
- guess what elon tweeted which has recently dominated articles

Next I�m buying Coca-Cola to put the cocaine back in

— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) April 28, 2022

https://twitter.com/elonmusk/status/1519480761749016577

Damn you Muskrat, you can't keep getting away with it

[VomKriege]

“Elon is the one person we know and perhaps the only person in the world who has the courage, brilliance, and skills to fix all of these and build the public square that we all hoped for and deserve,”

https://techcrunch.com/2022/05/05/sequoia-binance-and-fidelity-back-elon-musks-bid-for-twitter/

[benjipwns]

Some editing going on this afternoon https://t.co/3kQSgPW0Y5 pic.twitter.com/SGFQLNJIO9

— Tom Gara (@tomgara) May 5, 2022

https://twitter.com/tomgara/status/1522284258496233472

spoiler (click to show/hide)

 

spoiler (click to show/hide)

For someone who is always critiquing journalism you sure don�t know what a correction is.

— John Eligon (@jeligon) May 5, 2022

https://twitter.com/jeligon/status/1522299982916866052

[close]

[close]

[VomKriege]

Is it me of there's some tendency for owning the libs™ types to go with individuals while "the libs"© will innately more accept the premise that Facebook or Twitter as collective institutions could/would/should do a better job at managing those spaces than calling up on Zuckerberg or Dorsey or some enlightened tycoon type, no matter how flawed entrusting private companies with this might be ?

That's probably crude and oversimplistic but the whole cult of personality stuff seems more pronounced among some segments.

[VomKriege]

If you make fun of Elon Musk you get to see every argument his fanboys have had with themselves in the shower pic.twitter.com/F12SONSzcA

— Minion Death Cult Podcast (@miniondeathcult) May 3, 2022

https://twitter.com/miniondeathcult/status/1521566163045519365

[Nintex]

Is it me of there's some tendency for owning the libs™ types to go with individuals while "the libs"© will innately more accept the premise that Facebook or Twitter as collective institutions could/would/should do a better job at managing those spaces than calling up on Zuckerberg or Dorsey or some enlightened tycoon type, no matter how flawed entrusting private companies with this might be ?

That's probably crude and oversimplistic but the whole cult of personality stuff seems more pronounced among some segments.

They believe in humanity while the libs believe in systems.

Again, Adam Curtis' Can't Get You Out of My Head explores this.

[headwalk]

"in a latvian post office in 1975, two temporary seasonal workers started furiously debating the qualities of their respective favourite brands of biscuit. the events that followed eventually led to the poll tax riots in britain some 15 years later and it was the government's ability to both seed and harness this discontent that has led to the systematic apatheid we now see before us today. the fundamental prinicples of a debate about confectionary are infact the driving forces behind the current landscape of increasingly opaque social division, and neither side can seemingly do anything about it."

[VomKriege]

Rumors and leaks that Musk plan is to decrease reliance on advertising and introducing a paid subscription system... Sounds like a good way to, indeed, possibly kill it but I'm not the richest man on earth or a big tech expert.
 

[Potato]

Rumors and leaks that Musk plan is to decrease reliance on advertising and introducing a paid subscription system... Sounds like a good way to, indeed, possibly kill it but I'm not the richest man on earth or a big tech expert.
 

Doesn't sound too bad honestly.

If only a small proportion of people are responsible for the majority of tweets, then you charge them for the privilege of posting (and blue check marks) while letting everyone else view for free. You could do a tiered system:

• Two tweets a day = free tier
• Up to 10 tweets = cheap tier
• 10+ or corporate users = expensive tier.

Blue check wankers already claim Twitter is an indispensible part of their lives and democracy (lol) so I think you'd convert most of them over to a paid tier. You'd also get rid/limit the ability of the majority of the terminally online morons who shit up the place with harassment campaigns.

[Uncle]

it's true, the most terminally online types are that because they are neets without enough income to do anything but post or tweet constantly, which costs nothing


again if musk somehow manages to improve twitter: win

and if musk kills twitter: win

[james]

Rumors and leaks that Musk plan is to decrease reliance on advertising and introducing a paid subscription system... Sounds like a good way to, indeed, possibly kill it but I'm not the richest man on earth or a big tech expert.
 

Doesn't sound too bad honestly.

If only a small proportion of people are responsible for the majority of tweets, then you charge them for the privilege of posting (and blue check marks) while letting everyone else view for free. You could do a tiered system:

• Two tweets a day = free tier
• Up to 10 tweets = cheap tier
• 10+ or corporate users = expensive tier.

Blue check wankers already claim Twitter is an indispensible part of their lives and democracy (lol) so I think you'd convert most of them over to a paid tier. You'd also get rid/limit the ability of the majority of the terminally online morons who shit up the place with harassment campaigns.

The text message model?

Lol no

[Potato]

Rumors and leaks that Musk plan is to decrease reliance on advertising and introducing a paid subscription system... Sounds like a good way to, indeed, possibly kill it but I'm not the richest man on earth or a big tech expert.
 

Doesn't sound too bad honestly.

If only a small proportion of people are responsible for the majority of tweets, then you charge them for the privilege of posting (and blue check marks) while letting everyone else view for free. You could do a tiered system:

• Two tweets a day = free tier
• Up to 10 tweets = cheap tier
• 10+ or corporate users = expensive tier.

Blue check wankers already claim Twitter is an indispensible part of their lives and democracy (lol) so I think you'd convert most of them over to a paid tier. You'd also get rid/limit the ability of the majority of the terminally online morons who shit up the place with harassment campaigns.

The text message model?

Lol no

What savage third world country do you live in where text messages are charged individually and not as part of a plan?

[Uncle]

here is the model:

• you can make as many normal tweets or photo tweets as you like for free
• video tweets or ones with images over 10 MB cost 5 twitcoins
• every user gets one twitcoin per day for free and can earn more through gamified activities that demonstrate engagement like liking one tweet every day for a week/month etc.
• also if you go sufficiently viral you earn a bunch of twitcoins
• also you can tip people with them if you really liked their tweet and this shows up as a separate like metric, a "superlike"
• you can buy twitcoins wholesale, 200 for $10
• monthly $10 sub also gets you 200 twitcoins per month as well as other privileges like the blue check
• you can also spend 600 twitcoins to get a t-shirt made out of any tweet you really like, or printed on coffee mugs or urinal cakes

[james]

here is the model:

• you can make as many normal tweets or photo tweets as you like for free
• video tweets or ones with images over 10 MB cost 5 twitcoins
• every user gets one twitcoin per day for free and can earn more through gamified activities that demonstrate engagement like liking one tweet every day for a week/month etc.
• also if you go sufficiently viral you earn a bunch of twitcoins
• also you can tip people with them if you really liked their tweet and this shows up as a separate like metric, a "superlike"
• you can buy twitcoins wholesale, 200 for $10
• monthly $10 sub also gets you 200 twitcoins per month as well as other privileges like the blue check
• you can also spend 600 twitcoins to get a t-shirt made out of any tweet you really like, or printed on coffee mugs or urinal cakes

Maybe, except with Dogecoins, we're talking about Elon Musk

[james]

Tesla down another 8% today, down 30% this year.

Musk is going to lose it all lol

[Nintex]

Tesla down another 8% today, down 30% this year.

Musk is going to lose it all lol

As long as the banks put up the money he won't have a problem.

[Tasty]

Tesla down another 8% today, down 30% this year.

Musk is going to lose it all lol

As long as the banks put up the money he won't have a problem.

>banks existing
>ww3 beng a real possibility

Good luck with that.

[Nintex]

Tesla down another 8% today, down 30% this year.

Musk is going to lose it all lol

As long as the banks put up the money he won't have a problem.

>banks existing
>ww3 beng a real possibility

Good luck with that.

You forgot the part where Russia declared war on Elon Musk and the US wants a climate neutral army.

Which means the bois will get stuck in the mud with Tesla trucks and tanks looking for EV chargers 5 miles across the border.

[Nintex]

How it started

Furthermore, the EU just passed the Digital Markets Act and the Digital Services Act, which will of course apply to Muskrat's Twitter, too.

How it is going

Today @elonmusk and I wanted to share a quick message with you on platform regulation ??#DSA pic.twitter.com/nvP5FEXECY

— Thierry Breton (@ThierryBreton) May 9, 2022

https://twitter.com/ThierryBreton/status/1523773895974612992

JUST IN - Elon Musk says he would reverse Trump's suspension from Twitter, adds that the ban was "morally wrong" and "flat out stupid."

— Disclose.tv (@disclosetv) May 10, 2022

https://twitter.com/disclosetv/status/1524081026053640192

[Tasty]

We badly need a Musk version of

[james]

Musk is ugly as fuck no thanks

[Transhuman]

But so is Trump...

[james]

But so is Trump...

Trump has expressive features, like a muppet



Musk just has that aspie look

[D3RANG3D]

Tweet error (does not exist)

https://twitter.com/Dmanga_lover/status/1524390737319706624

Dude appropriated the #dearelonmusk hashtag hashwbrown to shill his novel. 

[Kurt Russell]

[james]

Twitter shares have fallen to about $46, well below Elon Musk’s purchase price of $54.20.

The sell-off has created a $9 billion gap between where Twitter is valued and how much Musk agreed to pay.

Market Summary
 > Tesla Inc
716.18 USD -270.77 (-27.44%)
past month

[Uncle]

if twitter is going to be privately owned though I'm not sure it matters what the stock is valued at

[james]

if twitter is going to be privately owned though I'm not sure it matters what the stock is valued at

Why would you loan money to the guy willing to pay $54.20 when you can buy it yourself for $40?

[Uncle]

if twitter is going to be privately owned though I'm not sure it matters what the stock is valued at

Why would you loan money to the guy willing to pay $54.20 when you can buy it yourself for $40?

because you can't afford it yourself, you're chipping in $5 to the guy paying the bulk of it, like a couple others

[Cauliflower Of Love]

if twitter is going to be privately owned though I'm not sure it matters what the stock is valued at

Why would you loan money to the guy willing to pay $54.20 when you can buy it yourself for $40?

It's like thinking you can pick the theme of the prom because you brought a 20 oz coke to the committee meeting.

[Madrun Badrun]

That's how I won over everyone to a Pirates of the Caribbean theme.  No one is going with No-pop Dylan's ideas. 

[Nintex]

I don't like the current owners and direction of Twitter so Elon buying it is something I support.
However, that doesn't change the fact that he looks like a dog chasing a bone.

He buys Twitter and lifts the bans.
The libs are owned. But then what?

[Tuckers Law]

Best outcome is not that Elon actually fixes Twitter, but instead that twitter dies a quick death.

[Uncle]

Best outcome is not that Elon actually fixes Twitter, but instead that twitter dies a quick death.

keep in mind that humanity is too addicted to social media to leave well enough alone and a dead twitter could result in a worse alternative surfacing

like when tumblrites migrated to discords and twitter (tumblr is dead, long live tumblr)

or chinese-owned alternatives like tiktok

[Tuckers Law]

Ah, let me amend that then.

Best outcome is twitter and all of its severely-online users die a quick death

[Uncle]

[Tuckers Law]

Well, I don't really want them to suffer, I just want them gone.