So I went and saw
Jurassic World: FK to bathe in the wondeful AC of the theater since it's a million degrees here in So Cal.
That was a weird movie. Like I'm not even sure what the plot or point of the movie was?
spoiler (click to show/hide)
I'M LETTING THESE DINOS OUT TO EAT THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE AND DESTROY HUMANITY BECAUSE THEY ARE GENETIC CLONES JUST LIKE ME
Like this almost felt like we're in Alien Ressurection or something. It's a bizarre sci-fi/horror hybrid story that's totally underdeveloped has tons of off-screens horrific kills and some zzz human parts. But yeah, what? It feels like the kind of movie where there could secretly be this awesome 4 hour R-rated cut that is amazing, but there isn't...probably. At the end of the day it feels like some guys/gals were like WE HAVE COOL EDGY IDEAS FOR JP, and then it's like NO THIS MUST BE A PG-13 MAINSTREAM MOVIE! And so the movie ends up somewhere in the middle unsatisfying because it can't go all the way in the direction they're maybe trying to go with it?
There was some neat cinematography and definitely a lot of horror tropes. Kids cried in my showing which means they did something right. And there's some cool dino bits, but there's also a lot of zzz human stuff and the story is dumb, so
Also I have no idea where they are going with the next movie. If they had the ability to not be a PG-13 Summer Mainstream movie, it feels like they could do interesting things with the setup like a crazy Mad Max JP or something. But they can't,
Also I was thinking about how all the Jurassic Park sequel story concepts are all fucking stupid as hell with like either human/raptor hybrids storming nazi castles (JP4 script), or army hybrid raptors (JW), or raptor/t-rex splicing etc.. and I think the problem is that how the fuck do you write a Jurassic Park story that's not just "they try to do X with the dinos, the dinos get loose and eat people". Which they've already done a bunch. Like yeah you could do some low-key indie drama about a single dinosaur and the humans around it, but who wants to see that? People want to see lots of dinos fuck shit up and eat people. So I kinda give JP sequels a little less flack on their dumb ass shit concepts because it's a really hard job to write a JP story that isn't just "here's a park, watch people get eaten".
I mean even if they went Dino Crisis 3 and did Dinos in space it'd still be "here's a [space] park, dinos get loose and eat people". But I like watching Dinos and like watching Dinos eat people, so I'm glad they keep making JP movies and accept that the plots will all be dumb as hell. I just wish we could get that R-rated horror gore one. Like there needs to be a JP Logan-edition or something.
Ant Man was good you boners. Its the anti-marvel film in the sense that it doesnt hinge on world building. The characters were charismatic, the setpieces were fun, and it was funny as hell.
Who was charismatic? Paul Rudd Mr. I'm a boring dad? Wasp whose like I'm angry ex-gf? Ghost whose like I'm an idiot and just pissed off? Crappy timid Lawrence Fishborne? (who doesn't even get to be Goliath!) Phoning it in Michael Douglas? I like almost all those actors/actresses, but there wasn't one character I was drawn to in that movie.
Ok, Louis and his two co-workers are pretty great. I was thinking that instead of these dumb Marvel Netflix shows they should do goofy spinoffs like giving Louis and his co-workers a comedy drama tv show where they get involved in silly capers and stuff. Like Better Call Saul, but lighter.
