Okay, real talk, not mocking Green Shinobi for at least this post.
Overall, I'd give the movie a C-minus. Having seen the movie, I feel less like mocking it - not because it's good, but because having seen it, we've spent far more effort tearing it apart than Cameron did building it up.
The CG was so good that there's nothing to say about it. In ten years all movies will look as good as Avatar and in fifty, Avatar will be the answer to a Trivial Pursuit question, much like The Jazz Singer is today. Still, it's good. That's not to say it's creative or original (the art design was a neon-colored JRPG pastiche if ever there was one), but it was technically great. There was no uncanny valley. Bring on John Carter of Mars.
The 3D was unimpressive, but then, I've seen every 3D animated film and most 3D non-animated films released in the past four years. I'm over 3D, even tasteful 3D.
Zoe Saldana did a good job; her character wasn't original, but at least she was a character. And Sigourney's avatar had a Stanford tank top! That was pretty cool.
Things that were dumb:
- Quaritch being all "hearts and minds, shock and awe, preemptive strike, fight terror with terror." It like it's a parable for something, but what!
- The science support staff. Michelle Rodriguez, too. Did their stories get cut in editing?
- What was with that terrible voiceover narration? I guess they spent $400 million before they realized the movie made no fucking sense.
- Warpaint on a helicopter, lol.
- Knife fighting in a power suit, double lol.
- And of course, RAPING a SPACE DINOSAUR with your CYBEROPTIC PONYTAIL.
Still, you know what, it was okay. The first two hours were boring but competent, and the final battle was actually pretty enjoyable. Rent the Blu-ray and skip to the "Destruction of HomeTree" chapter - you'll enjoy that last hour.
Also, given Cameron's Law of Exponential Sequel Returns? Bring on Avatar 2. Seriously. With the tech fetishism out of the way, maybe he'll make a great movie next time out.
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