Health shit:
Been sick for 2 months, had my last immune suppressing meds almost 7 weeks ago when I guess I still had some of this year's flu lingering in my body which meant when zero immune system drop happened it jumped all over my head/face and I got horribly sick and face was like on fire, ears on fire, pressure pains and congestion everywhere, eye got infected, ear seemed infected, etc...thought maybe brain was infected/fluid-y a little for a bit. Was pretty scary. Went through antibiotics/steroids/immune system came back and eventually a lot of the symptoms cleared.
What's left has been this on/off pressure in one ear and down behind the ear and up and across to the other ear and congestion and pain. Been working like half-time for almost a month and a lot of days I haven't been able to do much because brain fog and pain and just don't feel up to anything social or thinking beyond some gaming and sleep and netflix.
ENT couldn't figure it out, sinuses were fine, did CT scan and stuff. Referred me to an ear specialist like a month ago and finally got in today. Besides confirming I have Euschian Tube Dsyfunction which I know I have and seem to always get everytime I'm sick and there's no cure and it just sucks until it goes away someday, he said my ears look great, hearing is perfect, but I feel pain/pressure in my left ear and around because my blood vessels/nerves are hyper-sensitive. He thinks this means I have a moderately severe atypical migraine that only manifests through fucking my ear and head pressure up. He didn't think I have TMJ (neither did my ENT) which is weird because I swear I have TMJ but I think it just flares up for a day or two and then it's gone and can't be diagnosed. My jaw was all fucked up this last weekend for instance but fine today.
Anyhow so he prescribed me an anti-depressant Nortriptyline because apparently at the low dosage (10mg) it works for migraines and nerve pain. I've never been on an anti-depressant and never wanted to be on one because they fuck with your brain, but I'll see if this helps.
I'm also going to go get some of the weed strain I smoked at borecon soon and will see if that helps. I may just need to mellow out and be less tense. Oh and I've given up caffeine completely for about 3 weeks now which is crazy for me but for a while I was taking cold meds daily and sudafed stimulant + daily espresso drink + my anxiety = was having anxiety attacks and felt like I was gonna die all the time so I got off caffeine entirely and I've been pretty chill and non-anxious since. Just being off caffeine almost feels like taking a low-dose klonopin. Might stay off it for a while though I do miss the energy boosts for work & social/dating.
Gonna knock my immune system back to zero next week. Everyone seems to think whatever's going on is an infection so it's ok to take my next med dosage and kill my immune system. If they're wrong I'll maybe die

hopefully they're right.