About to get a tad emo, you were warned.
Well, I thought things were going well with the teacher, but while I was in DC for Magfest she sent me a text. She gave me the whole spiel about how I'm such a nice guy, but she doesn't think we have anything in common so it won't work out. And "hope you find someone soon, you deserve it!"
While I definitely think we didn't have much in common - come on, she didn't even know who Ash and Misty were, had no idea whatsoever about any of my interests, which is weird because she teaches nerdy HS kids - also, she was big into volunteering and athletic and meanwhile I'm the most apathetic person with zero athletic talent, I don't think this is the reason (aside from one girl big into RPGs and another girl who was a huge foodie it's rare I have much in common with the girls I date). Probably she had someone else she liked better. Or it could be she had ridiculously high standards that I couldn't meet.
So I had a bit of a panic attack after hearing the news, proceeded to go ham on the Match app and have 2 dates scheduled for next week. One with a dentist who says she has zero hobbies whatsoever, and another with a girl who works at a group home, who is cute af but unfortunately isn't educated
Also I have some other girls I've been chatting with (all similar-looking brunettes for some reason
).
But whenever I'm on the market, it's always followed a similar trajectory. Join a dating site full of optimism, go out with a few girls that seem to have everything I'm looking for - attractive, intelligent, personable, kindhearted. Then, things don't work out with them so I start gradually lowering my standards. End up going out with girls I have minimal chemistry with, girls I'm not terribly attracted to, girls without many passions ("basic"), etc. When those don't work out, I start to get really frustrated, and then I end up taking the first girl that comes around that's interested in me. The last 3 girls I went out with for any length of time all had the same things in common:
-obsessive about one thing in particular (Jesus/Reading/Food)
-had serious self-esteem issues
-had a fucked up family life
I'm a kindhearted guy (not the "nice guy" stereotype since I do get laid and get into relationships), I'm generally pretty easygoing and good natured, reasonably intelligent, come from a tight-knit Italian family, and I have my shit (mostly) together, so I'm like the perfect 'way out' for these girls. (but lest I toot my horn that much - I'm also not attractive, am pretty awkward in person, have a bit of OCD, have my own obsessive nerdy interests that everyone on this board already knows) Everyone sees the warning signs but me (though to be fair a few of my friends LOVED my last girlfriend and were sad when I broke up with her). And eventually stuff just bubbles up so much to the surface that I just am like "I can't do this anymore".
Anyways, new dating resolution for me - this time, I will NOT settle.