RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011

[Rahxephon91]

I agree she's been great. The girl was perfect for me. It's really all my fault. She probably wants and needs someone who's actually confident. I can't be that person. It sucks, but that's what it is. She did say I did'nt come off as very needy like her last bf thing so I guess that's a positive.

I'm not treating it like that bu. I don't expect or want to get into another relationship anytime soon man. I'm not cut out for those currently or ever. The next girl I meet probably won't be anywhere near accommodating and would probably even be harsher about my performance. The last thing I want to do right now is have sex with anyone. Too much pressure. Dating is something I'm going to actively avoid. And not because of any stupid incel I hate women bullshit. I'm not on that crap. Simply because I do not have the mind or body for it. I have no problems accepting things worts and all and am not looking for anything perfect. I liked this girl because she appeared to be un-perfect. Which is far more comfortable to me. Problem is a girl like that is probably going to need someone she can rely on. Her positives about me where that I was kind, compassionate, mindful of her feelings, and made her laugh because I had a unique sense of humor. Those are all nice, but in the end a girl is going to want someone who is confident. I don't think a relationship can start if the guy can't do that. And I can't right now.

I'll check to see if there are any money conscious options and ask my mother if she'd be willing to pay for a doctor again. But the last time I went to a doctor I got nothing from it. I want feedback too quickly and some reassurance that something is happening which is probably a problem on my end.

I am thinking this through though. Despite what she said before, she's gone cold on me the last two days. Maybe she realized her patients has her limits and she can find better dick somewhere else without any actual baggage. I don't know. It would be nice if she simply told me though. I'm not throwing it away. I'm being realistic. I can feel that her interests is dead now. She probably got tired of having to reassure me. But I really don't want to bring this up to her or ask her because 1. I know she's stressing because of her upcoming conference and 2. Asking wouldn't show any confidence. So now I'm left in the miserable position where all I can do is wonder. Which sucks, because I'd just like to watch porn if this thing is over like it feels it is. I mean if it wasn't over and she wanted to continue(which she said she did, but her actions suggest otherwise) I would do what I could to avoid the problems, but thats not whats going on.

[Rahxephon91]

Feels good to jerk off to porn again though.

[Fifstar]

Basicly I just want to stop being miserable. I wasn’t. I felt good and wow that went away quickly.

Excuse the hot take but:

Honestly woman/relationships aren't the cure for depression. Might lighten you up longer than other things, but bad feelings and thoughts will always keep crawling back unless you keep working on yourself wholesome.

[Rahxephon91]

I don't know if I'm actually depressed. I certainly have a inclination for self sabotage and negative inward thoughts. I don't really know what I am. I have low self esteem when it comes to these things. But it's not like I'm not aware of my positives. It's not like I don't think I have self worth. It's just I find it easier to see the negative, because it feels more realistic.

But what I meant was I was actually pretty happy with what was going on. But I've become miserable because I quickly messed it up. Which is why I just want to cut it off.

But if I maybe step back I can see things are ok. I mean she has told me that she isn't ending anything and enjoys my company. We even made jokes about my kissing the day after. Sure our texts conversations have been kind of lame, but it's not like everyday can you have amazing conversations. She's also probably focused and anxious because next week she has an important job convention shes going to and right now thats important. So what I should be doing is not adding unto her stress and just making sure I'm emotionally  available when she comes back.

And that's probably whats going on. If she really did want this to stop she probably wouldn't still text me or she would just tell me she did'nt.

And I probably know this is all true.

But my mind feels like thats not whats true and the reality is I fucked up, not created a small but fixable bump that probably happens to a lot of relationships in the beginning, the middle, or the end. What my mind thinks is that "oh no I fucked it up again. This time with a girl I really liked. See! This is why you should'nt even try because you easily mess up. You're such a failure when it comes to women and this is more evidence".

The funny thing is the former is something I realize only after I've acted on the later and the reason for negativity has already been cut from my life.

[BIONIC]

How many fucking times do I have to read your posts about your negativity.

People are actually read his screeds? 

spoiler (click to show/hide)

[close]

[Rahxephon91]

Not long enough to be screeds. Tedious maybe.

[Huff]

I dunno how many times its been posted here (not just for you, but you lately)

Finding someone that likes you doesn't mean youre gunna like yourself. Nor make all your self confidence issues among others go away

[Rahxephon91]

Well I guess I’m getting that harsh lesson in the field.

[Mupepe]

She looks like she has thick thighs. Are they thick?  Send her my way and tell her I’ll still give her unsatisfying sex but I won’t sulk about it.

[Rahxephon91]

She looks like she has thick thighs. Are they thick?  Send her my way and tell her I’ll still give her unsatisfying sex but I won’t sulk about it.

Yes she does and why would I do that? Sounds like a down grade. According to her it hasn’t been unsatisfying.

[CatsCatsCats]

If you get a smart phone you’ll have the wisdom of the bore on you at all times

[BlueTsunami]

Damn she looks cute too

Rahx turning away from heaven. Time for... Punished Rahx.

[Kara]

Met another married women last night who is “monogam-ish”.

I just don’t understand why I’m running into this trend of married & engaged women who seemingly want to jump my bones. 

Women think you're fuckable but having a relationship with you isn't a good idea. HTH.

[Rahxephon91]

Damn she looks cute too

Rahx turning away from heaven. Time for... Punished Rahx.

I haven’t actually done anything. That’s why I come here to spout the nonsense that I feel but know is bad.

I mean I do feel there’s some distance and a good chance she doesn’t want to continue but I mean I’m not sure why that would be. I mean she’s said she’s not ending anything, that she enjoys the sex, and that she’ll be honest with me. I mean if she didn’t care I doubt she’d stay after the incident to still talk to me or still text. Even if the texts have a weird vibe. I mean she clearly likes me, but realizes I have some problems that are probably not impossible to work through.

I talked to two of my female friends. One of them is kind of the one one who pushed for this. Both pretty much said the same thing. That a girl just wants sex and doesn’t care for you behind that they wouldn’t just stay and talk to you after sex. They wouldn’t have even stayed for a second after the incident. That if she says the sex is is good you’ll probably always have a sexual relationship as I guess it’s hard for women to find sexual partners they like.  I guess the point is that it’s been too meaningful and she doesn’t seem like someone to end after a small bump.

Either way, right now I’m just laying low. Not really mentioning that stuff and letting things flow. I’ve talked to her today in person and in texts. Just small jokes here and there and I mean at one point she gave me a smile and a certain look that made me feel it’s probabky ok. Still I think there’s a certain distance and I know she has a big conference coming up. So I’m just going to lay low and see what happens after that. She probably has that in her mind mostly.

[Mupepe]

She looks like she has thick thighs. Are they thick?  Send her my way and tell her I’ll still give her unsatisfying sex but I won’t sulk about it.

Yes she does and why would I do that? Sounds like a down grade. According to her it hasn’t been unsatisfying.

How fucking convenient... the one thing you choose to believe from her is that she is satisfied.

[Rahxephon91]

I mean.....I’ve been self aware and introspective about my negativity for a long time.....I’ve said as much in my posts. On this page alone. There’s not a lack of self awareness.

Is ego boosting yourself a part of your self help?

Did your books teach you proper hygiene too.

[Rahxephon91]

Knowing something is wrong and making an attempt to do something about it are two diffrent things. Being aware of the problem does not mean I have the will or knowledge to fix it.

And for someone talking down, I really haven’t seen you make any progress. Your posts still put you at Square one of how do I even talk to people. I’ve at least put myself out there warts and all.

[Rahxephon91]

I mean that’s me literally being self aware and explaining how I perceive my negative thoughts. Not an endorsement that they are correct.

And every time you posts it’s been filled with “well at least I’m not Rahx sentiment”.

Well I’m not Dufus and I have no problem taking pride in my own work.

[Rahxephon91]

And anyway one thing that gets glossed over in these things is that I have in fact gone to two therapists. In the end they were not helpful. Finding a good one takes time and money.

Anyway it’s sucks that this very good thing ended but I mean it’s not like I’m honestly going to stop. I’ll feel bad and be hurt for a while. Then at some point I’ll try again, probably fail, or whatever. It’s not like I haven’t learned anything from this experience.

[BlueTsunami]

Atra suck on any milf tiddies yet?

[Atramental]

I’ve been sick lately so nah.

[BlueTsunami]

Damnit

[Cryo]

god damnit rahx put your stubbornness and pridefulness aside and continue hanging out with someone you’ve clearly established for weeks now is both patient and fond of you. nothing has ended.


this entire saga is as painful for all of us to read as it probably feels inside your head right now.

[toku]

I hope cats and mups been sucking on titties. Bless up.

[Rahxephon91]

I talked to her. Well everything is seemingly ok. I guess I was wrong to lose my shit.

[BIONIC]

 

[Rahxephon91]

 

I mean we haven’t hung out or anything. She just said I shouldn’t worry about our little bump we had and she hasn’t been distant. Anyway she’s going away for the week so hopefully she comes back primed and ready.

[team filler]

don't play with your dick until you can figure out the sex thing with her. hold out for long enough and eventually your dick will overpower whatever is going on inside your head that's keeping you from performing.

[demi]

I mean we haven’t hung out or anything. She just said I shouldn’t worry about our little bump we had and she hasn’t been distant. Anyway she’s going away for the week so hopefully she comes back primed and ready.

Shes prob gonna suck on a black cock or something while away. But dont let that bother you. She probably wont.

[Rahxephon91]

I mean we haven’t hung out or anything. She just said I shouldn’t worry about our little bump we had and she hasn’t been distant. Anyway she’s going away for the week so hopefully she comes back primed and ready.

Shes prob gonna suck on a black cock or something while away. But dont let that bother you. She probably wont.

Thanks.



Anyway the text part still feels very weak and unenthusiastic compared to before. If she wanted to end it I wish she would just say instead of letting me wonder and lying.

[Atramental]

So after my most recent and super profound mushroom trip last weekend it became very apparent to me that I should be re-doubling my efforts on my personal development and projects.

As for dating/hooking up that’ll be something I won’t be actively pursuing but I’ll still reach out if I sense there’s potential for something with any woman I happen to cross paths with.

[I'm a Puppy!]

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST PEOPLE! RELATIONSHIPS TAKE FUCKING WORK! IF YOU FIND SOMEONE THAT IS WILLING TO LOVE YOU THROUGH YOUR OWN ISSUES AND BE PATIENT, YOU HANG ON TO THAT PERSON AND WORK WITH THEM AS YOU WORK ON YOU. YES, WE'RE ALL FUCKING BROKEN. YES, WE ALL HAVE HANG UPS. YES, ALL RELATIONSHIPS HAVE THINGS THAT NEED TO BE WORKED ON AND IRONED OUT. THIS ISN'T FUCKING DISNEYLAND. COMMMOTHERFUCKINGUNIACTE YOU FUCKING MOTHER FUCKERS. SOMETHING HAS TO GET A LITTLE RUST BEFORE IT GETS POLISHED. DON'T BE ASHAMED OF THE RUST. JESUS YOU DENSE MOTHER FUCKING DOG SHIT ON A CRACKER MOTHER FUCKERS.

[toku]

love is a fire and it burns baby it burns

[HardcoreRetro]

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST PEOPLE! RELATIONSHIPS TAKE FUCKING WORK! IF YOU FIND SOMEONE THAT IS WILLING TO LOVE YOU THROUGH YOUR OWN ISSUES AND BE PATIENT, YOU HANG ON TO THAT PERSON AND WORK WITH THEM AS YOU WORK ON YOU. YES, WE'RE ALL FUCKING BROKEN. YES, WE ALL HAVE HANG UPS. YES, ALL RELATIONSHIPS HAVE THINGS THAT NEED TO BE WORKED ON AND IRONED OUT. THIS ISN'T FUCKING DISNEYLAND. COMMMOTHERFUCKINGUNIACTE YOU FUCKING MOTHER FUCKERS. SOMETHING HAS TO GET A LITTLE RUST BEFORE IT GETS POLISHED. DON'T BE ASHAMED OF THE RUST. JESUS YOU DENSE MOTHER FUCKING DOG SHIT ON A CRACKER MOTHER FUCKERS.

I took a real close look at your avatar and...  I don't think that's a puppy.

[BIONIC]

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST PEOPLE! RELATIONSHIPS TAKE FUCKING WORK! IF YOU FIND SOMEONE THAT IS WILLING TO LOVE YOU THROUGH YOUR OWN ISSUES AND BE PATIENT, YOU HANG ON TO THAT PERSON AND WORK WITH THEM AS YOU WORK ON YOU. YES, WE'RE ALL FUCKING BROKEN. YES, WE ALL HAVE HANG UPS. YES, ALL RELATIONSHIPS HAVE THINGS THAT NEED TO BE WORKED ON AND IRONED OUT. THIS ISN'T FUCKING DISNEYLAND. COMMMOTHERFUCKINGUNIACTE YOU FUCKING MOTHER FUCKERS. SOMETHING HAS TO GET A LITTLE RUST BEFORE IT GETS POLISHED. DON'T BE ASHAMED OF THE RUST. JESUS YOU DENSE MOTHER FUCKING DOG SHIT ON A CRACKER MOTHER FUCKERS.

Or just get a neck tat. That works too.

[skullstorm]

Just saw a neck tat two minutes ago, am I now in a relationship?

[Rahxephon91]

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST PEOPLE! RELATIONSHIPS TAKE FUCKING WORK! IF YOU FIND SOMEONE THAT IS WILLING TO LOVE YOU THROUGH YOUR OWN ISSUES AND BE PATIENT, YOU HANG ON TO THAT PERSON AND WORK WITH THEM AS YOU WORK ON YOU. YES, WE'RE ALL FUCKING BROKEN. YES, WE ALL HAVE HANG UPS. YES, ALL RELATIONSHIPS HAVE THINGS THAT NEED TO BE WORKED ON AND IRONED OUT. THIS ISN'T FUCKING DISNEYLAND. COMMMOTHERFUCKINGUNIACTE YOU FUCKING MOTHER FUCKERS. SOMETHING HAS TO GET A LITTLE RUST BEFORE IT GETS POLISHED. DON'T BE ASHAMED OF THE RUST. JESUS YOU DENSE MOTHER FUCKING DOG SHIT ON A CRACKER MOTHER FUCKERS.

It takes two to tango. Can’t really do anything if the other party is turned off.

[CatsCatsCats]

Listen guys, it’s time to pour this energy into Dufus — Dufus, time to make moves

[Rahxephon91]

Dufus can’t even talk to women. Good luck with that.

[Nabbis]

You can just pretend to be a mute or hit on deaf chicks though. There are always solutions.

[Rahxephon91]

https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=697638137039703

[team filler]

 

[team filler]

 

[Rahxephon91]

Yeah this is so over. I'm getting vague answers and terrible text conversations. She texts me randomly, not during the day like we used to but at night when she's going to bed. So no conversation through out the day. It's just nothing but "oks" and "whatevers". Whats the fuck of texting me then? It's hard to try and be entertaining when someone dosen't give you anything to work with.

I ask her "Is something wrong. You seem like you don't want to talk to me anymore. I think things are ok, but they don't feel like they are" and all I get is a vague "Stop being stupid then". Like what the fuck does that mean? Being stupid about what? Just tell me this over so I can move on and be miserable.

I just hope this is stress brought on by the major thing she has this week and that she'll come back relieved. Because thats all I can bet on and all I can do is play it cool and not make any major moves/be dramatic. But I asked if she was stressed about that and she just replies "nah". I mean I get stressed out people probably don't like to be asked if they are stressed or if there is a problem, but fuck. I don't like having a relationship. I would be fine if I knew things were ok.

But if not I wish she would just let me know. Like yes I had a small mishap about my penis. I don't think thats enough to end something that had been pretty positive. 

[demi]

Why you telling us its over and not her. Stop being stupid seems like good advice. What a smart girl

[BlueTsunami]

If your defeatism and constant asking of questions hoping for reassurance seen in this thread are even partially passed on to her then its its no surprise she's edging away dude.

[team filler]

she tells you things are good and not to worry about the sex too much. you continue on imagining things are horrible and worrying about the sex too much. equals stop being stupid. also, she is probably sexually frustrated. instead of going nuts because your dick didn't get hard, you should have just ate that pussy and used your fingers.

[Rahxephon91]

If your defeatism and constant asking of questions hoping for reassurance seen in this thread are even partially passed on to her then its its no surprise she's edging away dude.

Then she should just say that so we can move on.

Why you telling us its over and not her. Stop being stupid seems like good advice. What a smart girl

I guess because I don't think it is....I don't know.

What am I being stupid about?

The funny thing is she said I wasn't very needy compared to her last dude and that she was patient because she understands these things take time and some people need help.

But also that having to reassure me makes it seem like I don't trust her.

[BlueTsunami]

If your defeatism and constant asking of questions hoping for reassurance seen in this thread are even partially passed on to her then its its no surprise she's edging away dude.

Then she should just say that so we can move on.

People are rarely that blunt

And she's probably not that there yet but you're so determined to strangle the possibilities out from this person that her not crushing you yet seems to be dissapointing you

[BIONIC]

This season has been dreadful.

[Rahxephon91]

If your defeatism and constant asking of questions hoping for reassurance seen in this thread are even partially passed on to her then its its no surprise she's edging away dude.

Then she should just say that so we can move on.

People are rarely that blunt

And she's probably not that yet but you're so determined to strangle the possibilities out from this person that her not crushing you yet seems to be dissapointing you

She is very blunt. She even says she is though. She's sad many times that if something happens she'd let me know that it's over or that she dosen't want to do anything anymore.

This season has been dreadful.

Go to hell.

[team filler]

she doesn't want things to be over, but you seem to. this poor girl is going above and beyond for you, but you seem to be looking for any excuse you can find to make her into the girl that doesn't want you. instead of wishing for her to just end things, you should be figuring out how to get her back. send the girl some flowers, make some type of gesture like that.

[BlueTsunami]

.

But also that having to reassure me makes it seem like I don't trust her.

Seems like? You straight up don't trust her. You're constantly trying to read in between lines that don't exist. Worse yet, through text. Whatever baggage you're carrying weighing down all your interactions with her that isn't outright love.

If you keep carrying on like this she will drop you. Going back to a solitary life, wondering why women suck as you were not to long ago. Wake up and chill out.

[Rahxephon91]

So do you still think there's still a chance for this work if I just calm down? That she hasn't dropped me yet.



Serenity Now.



Insanity Later.

[Rahxephon91]

Ok you guys are probably correct( I mean when haven't you been). I just hope it's not too late to course correct.

[team filler]

 

[Raist]

She's got a big thing this week. I'm sure nagging her via text is the best thing to do at the minute. Keep going.

[skullstorm]

Seriously, stop asking her if everything's ok and is she upset etc, that will come off as really, really annoying to her. She will read your texts as "HELLO M'LADY I HAVE NO CONFIDENCE AND AM UTTERLY PATHETIC AND BY THE WAY DID MY PENIS UPSET YOU GOSH I HATE MY PENIS SO MUCH I ALSO HATE MYSELF PLEASE REASSURE ME, THAT'S ALL YOU'RE GOOD FOR". And I'm being extreme to really make a point.

Soon she'll be thinking that you're going to start sending her threats about harming yourself if she doesn't want you, which some people do send to their partners and maybe she even got shit like that from her clingy ex. Just let her focus on her work thingy, wish her good luck with it and tell her she's gonna kill it and be supportive.

Do NOT send her whiny messages like "r we ok" at a time like this. Messages like that suck hairy ass anyway but when she's stressed out it'll make her flip her shit so yeah I wonder why she doesn't text you back with walls of text of how great you are. She needs to focus on her work thing and get encouragement from you that she'll do great, she doesn't need to be telling you how awesome you are every minute of the day right now. Stop sending her serious texts about your situation, stop "trying to be entertaining", stop thinking she's looking for new dick, just for god's sake LET HER CHILL.

[FreeNudeLyleLanley]

I’m impressed that you’ve seemingly found the most accommodating woman in the world that has been willing to put up with your shit and you’re still trying to do everything possible to fuck it up. I get you have serious issues with insecurity but still.

[Nabbis]

Thirsty dudes go to insane lengths for girls, it's only natural that it escalates to this degree in a buyers market where you can efficiently screen for a "perfect" guy. Though i personally don't use dating apps and don't know people who encounter this problem irl.