Author Topic: Depression/mental health thread  (Read 15615 times)

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Dufus

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #180 on: November 12, 2017, 05:40:02 PM »
It's so weird to read people who are depressed cry often. Not that it's weird, but I basically never cry. I'm not proud of that or anything like I'm some kind of badass for never crying (although... :pimp)

I get the idea people who cry sometimes are better off than people who never have the urge to cry like me. It's weird. I'm weird. Even when my depression was at its worst, I don't cry and don't really show it emotionally outside of having a dead unemotional look on my face. :goty2

Oh well.

 :marimo

chronovore

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #181 on: November 12, 2017, 09:42:57 PM »
Crying is a release. You should try crying.


Though in his defense, maybe he just spent six hours watching all of these on youtube:



Your post reminded me of this gem:

hungrynoob

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #182 on: November 13, 2017, 02:20:25 AM »
It's so weird to read people who are depressed cry often. Not that it's weird, but I basically never cry. I'm not proud of that or anything like I'm some kind of badass for never crying (although...)

I get the idea people who cry sometimes are better off than people who never have the urge to cry like me. It's weird. I'm weird. Even when my depression was at its worst, I don't cry and don't really show it emotionally outside of having a dead unemotional look on my face. :goty2

Oh well.



I think your emotional state can fluctuate when youre depressed. I for the longest time tried to suppress my real feelings forever, so felt numb until i wasnt able to stop it at one point, then I started crying nightly for a year. Just because you dont feel anything doesnt mean noting is happening, it can be building up. Its better to recognising it, that youre uhappy and not feeling the unhappiness, than it is to let it build up and burst out. Because it might not be crying that it ends up leaking out, it could be anger you could start lashing out at others around you unable to regocnise the changes in yourself.

shosta

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #183 on: November 13, 2017, 06:25:15 PM »
Man, that seasonal shit really does happen, doesn't it?
杀我

Bebpo

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #184 on: November 18, 2017, 07:42:06 PM »
At one point I realized that the reason I post so much on this forum (gaming-side and movie thread in OT) is because I have no one to talk to in my life about the stuff I like otherwise (well, outside a few IM friends I talk to as well). Like, in real life, on the average day non-work day, I don't open my mouth and actually speak to anyone outside ordering some food. Sometimes I'll go to a meetup and talk a little about small talk stuff with others and that's great, and on work days I'll talk with my co-workers; plus I call up my family and talk every few days.

But all my real life friends who were into videogames or movies or whatever all got married and became unavailable more than like once a month or two or three or four (I met up with a friend last weekend that I invited out for eight months before they were free to grab a bite); plus half my friends moved out of state. So I have pretty much zero irl close friends I can hang out with and talk about games or movies or things that I spend a good part of my free time, or shoot the shit and talk about whatever.

Anyhow, if anyone was ever wondering why I post so much on the gaming-side, that's why. No irl friends to talk about stuff, and these conversations here are like 90% of the conversations I ever have with other people outside work. I live a very alone life and I definitely don't think it's healthy psychologically. 

I'm a Puppy!

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #185 on: November 18, 2017, 07:53:57 PM »
I'm sorta the same way man. Everyone I know in real life wants to talk sports or is boring. I'm here for you breh :doge
que

chronovore

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #186 on: November 18, 2017, 09:37:41 PM »
Same here, to both you dudes. Working from home, socializing is a challenging task!

Rufus

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #187 on: November 18, 2017, 09:57:44 PM »
Basically me post Uni, but I don't mind (which may or may not be indicative of something being wrong with me).
🍕🧀

Bebpo

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #188 on: November 18, 2017, 10:02:51 PM »
I'm sorta the same way man. Everyone I know in real life wants to talk sports or is boring. I'm here for you breh :doge

whoops, double post
« Last Edit: November 18, 2017, 11:12:28 PM by Bebpo »

Bebpo

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #189 on: November 18, 2017, 10:06:46 PM »
I'm sorta the same way man. Everyone I know in real life wants to talk sports or is boring. I'm here for you breh :doge

Thanks  :doge

Yeah, I've got one non-married friend whose pretty available to hang and we do, but he's not into games at all and more of a sports/drinking/party guy so we mostly just talk about dating and movies a little bit. I'm not super depressed about it or anything, I have some friends irl, family and a social acquaintances from social stuff I go to occassionally, just no one I can talk about games with ><

Same here, to both you dudes. Working from home, socializing is a challenging task!

This was really tough for me when I was working from home while doing some freelance game article stuff. It's also hard to keep cutoff points for work on/work off.

Basically me post Uni, but I don't mind (which may or may not be indicative of something being wrong with me).

I find it nice and relaxing at times, but I'm most happy when I have a balance. Half the nights socializing irl, out doing social things, half the days in playing games or reading a book or watching a movie.  But tends to be more like 1 night a week getting out socially and 6 nights staying in reclusive >< 

chronovore

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #190 on: November 18, 2017, 11:19:08 PM »
Same here, to both you dudes. Working from home, socializing is a challenging task!
This was really tough for me when I was working from home while doing some freelance game article stuff. It's also hard to keep cutoff points for work on/work off.
I've JUST started using Pomordoro method on Thursday. So far, pretty great results.

Dufus

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #191 on: November 29, 2017, 03:48:12 PM »
choas depression is a scale

chronovore

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #192 on: November 29, 2017, 05:07:10 PM »
choas depression is a scale
Sure, absolutely. But Viktor Frankl observed that sadness is like a gas: it can expand to fill any volume.

Dufus

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #193 on: November 29, 2017, 05:43:30 PM »
depression and sadness ain't the same thing tho :doge

Cindi Mayweather

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #194 on: November 29, 2017, 08:34:02 PM »
So...I'm watching tv and the parent gives the teenager advice and the teenager can actually come to their parents about their problems without  it being put aside. Because of how I was raised where my opinions weren't valued I've always wondered if that's how parents acted in real life. The thought of being able to go to your parent for help or advice or them actually caring is foreign to me so the way parents and children act on tv always felt lacking genuity to me. Is that how parents are actually like?
« Last Edit: November 29, 2017, 10:11:06 PM by Cindi Mayweather »
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chronovore

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #195 on: November 29, 2017, 08:37:47 PM »
depression and sadness ain't the same thing tho :doge
That's fair.

Are you saying there's no connection?

Yeti

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #196 on: November 29, 2017, 09:26:21 PM »
So...I'm watching tv and the parent gives the teenager advice and the teenager can actually come to their parents about their problems with it being put aside. Because of how I was raised where my opinions weren't valued I've always wondered if that's how parents acted in real life. The thought of being able to go to your parent for help or advice or them actually caring is foreign to me so the way parents and children act on tv always felt lacking genuity to me. Is that how parents are actually like?

Parents are just people, there are good ones and bad ones. I think most parents have that empathy for their kids where they help them out, or at least try to. From what I've heard of your parents they it sounds like they aren't even trying. You deserved better. You deserve better.
WDW

Dufus

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #197 on: November 30, 2017, 05:49:12 AM »
Are you saying there's no connection?

I didn't say there was no connection. :doge Just saying it's not the same thing. Depression and sadness are often confounded.

Bebpo

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #198 on: December 05, 2017, 04:07:48 AM »
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« Last Edit: December 05, 2017, 07:44:57 AM by Bebpo »

Bebpo

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #199 on: December 05, 2017, 08:57:40 AM »
Ok, got a new room and itís normal sound levels now (instead of someone showering over your head 24/7). Got a jazz heritage tour in 2 hours so probably wonít sleep until the afternoon, but actually sleeping after 2 nights of no sleep should help my mood.

Bebpo

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #200 on: December 05, 2017, 05:11:06 PM »
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chronovore

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #201 on: December 05, 2017, 07:20:13 PM »
Eat a beignet for me!

Exodust

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #202 on: December 05, 2017, 09:46:59 PM »
Feeling like shit, and there was a trigger for it this time. It was a silly little thing, it's one of those rabbit hole dives where the trigger wasn't the real reason but it relates to bigger problems I've had coming together.

The feeling lately has been less soul crushing, and doesn't feel like I'm drifting through like it usually does. I feel somewhat stuck in my physical being and time is slow and plodding without much changing it. Kinda like a prison sentence type of disillusion. Where I'm stuck, and when I get out, I'll start feeling like it's too late.
\m/

Tasty Meat

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #203 on: December 05, 2017, 10:53:25 PM »
Hope you feel better soon Wrath. Thinking of you. :heart

Bebpo

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #204 on: December 05, 2017, 11:18:36 PM »
Eat a beignet for me!

I don't really get beignets, though I'm sure that will pick a fight with some people here.

I've had them in CA and they're eh, I've had them twice here at two different famous spots and eh. They're basically donuts that are less tasty/satisfying/filling?...what's the point?

I'd rather have a croissant or a donut. This is some less satisfying middle ground and you get the powdered suger all over your lips and it turns gooey and feels gross until you wipe it off.

Otoh, the chicory(?) coffee is good. When I heard it was made from a terrible tasting tea that they pour coffee into 80/20 to hide the taste I was expecting something bad, but it tastes solid coffee.

At this point I've tried most of the snack+caffeine drink styles around the world and my favorite has got to be the English afternoon tea and a light slice of cake. That shit is relaxing and tasty and gives you a moment of peace and joy in a day. I guess I'm an old British grandma or something because I love that custom.

Cindi Mayweather

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #205 on: December 13, 2017, 08:27:21 PM »
You know when you think you're getting better and then one day just crash and it all falls apart? Today is one of those days for me. It's my first December as a Christian since I was a teenager and I can't be happy.
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Madrun Badrun

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #206 on: December 13, 2017, 08:45:22 PM »
I crash like ever 4 months. 
NtGay

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #207 on: December 14, 2017, 12:03:49 AM »
So I stopped Remeron for a week without telling the docs because I wanted to see what happened.

For one: My insomnia came back, it was manage-able and I got sleep but falling asleep (which was the biggest issue before the meds) came back hard. Nothing an energy drink and a nap in the evening couldn't fix.


They wanted me to start Wellbutrin, but I did like one day of that, didn't see any improvement on it in regards to energy levels (I was still tired from the Remeron) and said "fuck that" and didn't take any of the others in the bottle since.

I don't feel any better or worse with these meds or off these meds. They stop me from crying randomly, which is alright... I guess. But my motivation is still shot, I still hate myself severely and wish I was dead daily due to various life-factors. So, I mean... why should I continue to take these meds outside of the Remeron knocking my ass out?

spoiler (click to show/hide)
I'm half wondering if a Remeron overdose would at least make me sleep perma. :doge

Madrun Badrun

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #208 on: December 14, 2017, 12:31:21 AM »
Just turned in a class project that went exceedingly bad.  Part of the reason for that is depression hit me the last 2 months and i've been in a brain fog.  Literally, all I want to do is sleep. 
NtGay

Cindi Mayweather

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #209 on: December 14, 2017, 11:43:38 PM »
Bye
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Madrun Badrun

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #210 on: December 15, 2017, 12:37:15 AM »
You OK?
NtGay

Cindi Mayweather

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #211 on: December 15, 2017, 02:32:52 AM »
More and more I want to kill myself and I already know that's likely how I'm going to go out.
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I'm a Puppy!

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #212 on: December 15, 2017, 02:35:51 AM »
Hang in there. I need someone to banter theology with
que

Cindi Mayweather

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #213 on: December 15, 2017, 02:37:25 AM »
Ayyyy fuck off you haven't talked to me about that in months
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Tasty Meat

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #214 on: December 15, 2017, 02:39:41 AM »
I thought things were OK? You were able to get your hormones, right? You seemed pretty excited after that.

I will say that I was pretty worried about you after that episode, but you told me you'd be fine after getting the hormones.

I'm a Puppy!

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #215 on: December 15, 2017, 02:40:20 AM »
Hang in there. I need someone to tell me to fuck off
que

Tasty Meat

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #216 on: December 15, 2017, 02:43:34 AM »
I hate to do this, but speaking of: isn't suicide like a big deal in Catholicism?

Cindi Mayweather

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #217 on: December 15, 2017, 02:49:27 AM »
I was doing ok. I'm hanging on, but things are hard. My car is in the shop and I can can't afford to get it out. I haven't been able to afford jiu jitsu in two months so now I owe two months back and that's 360 dollars, which I don't have. Month three is coming up soon so that'll be 540 dollars. Jiu jitsu helps me stay sane and non depressive because of the HIIT exercise I get from it. I can barely afford rent and I feel stuck. I've been looking into escorting and getting tips from escorts like on how to screen clients and stuff. In fact, I will be starting as an escort and take clients as soon as I get my car and some spare change to afford hotels. I spent thanksgiving alone. I'll be spending Christmas alone as well. The Disney-Fox buyout and net neutrality thing also have me on wits end as I see both decisions as profound evil that goes against every moral compass in my body which is funny because I highly considered ending it after seeing Episode 8. Basically, life is shit and there's nothing to look forward to except the day we all die to finally escape.
« Last Edit: December 15, 2017, 02:54:16 AM by Cindi Mayweather »
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bork

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #218 on: December 15, 2017, 06:28:48 AM »
Himu, please call the national suicide prevention hotline or speak to someone at your church or just speak to anyone about this.  Please.
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hungrynoob

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #219 on: December 15, 2017, 07:12:48 AM »
I was doing ok. I'm hanging on, but things are hard. My car is in the shop and I can can't afford to get it out. I haven't been able to afford jiu jitsu in two months so now I owe two months back and that's 360 dollars, which I don't have. Month three is coming up soon so that'll be 540 dollars. Jiu jitsu helps me stay sane and non depressive because of the HIIT exercise I get from it. I can barely afford rent and I feel stuck. I've been looking into escorting and getting tips from escorts like on how to screen clients and stuff. In fact, I will be starting as an escort and take clients as soon as I get my car and some spare change to afford hotels. I spent thanksgiving alone. I'll be spending Christmas alone as well. The Disney-Fox buyout and net neutrality thing also have me on wits end as I see both decisions as profound evil that goes against every moral compass in my body which is funny because I highly considered ending it after seeing Episode 8. Basically, life is shit and there's nothing to look forward to except the day we all die to finally escape.

180 dollars a month for jiu jitsu? holy shit that is expensive, is eddie bravo teaching you personally? If you can barely afford rent, you need to prioritise in the short term, yes jiu jitsu probably makes you feel better, but the financial committments without the monetry supply will add to the stess and the depression ten-fold, money is one of the biggest continuing factors of low mood and its something i know a bit about. That alone will make you feel like youve lost contol of your life, and tbh you will cling to jiu jitsu as one of the last things that make you happy, but I think you should seriously weigh up whether that outweighs the negative impact of losing that much money has on your life. I'm going to make an educated assumption, and say most times out of 10, that answer is its not, but you need to answer that honestly to yourself.

Start cutting out shit that you can live without, so you can at least survive, gain a little control and once you get to that point, start planning how you want to do start achieving things that are going to make you feel better again. Speaking to a counsellor throughout that process can help. But the longer you keep feeling powerless the worse you will feel.

Cindi Mayweather

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #220 on: December 15, 2017, 09:32:06 AM »
Uhhhhh 1. BJJ is expensive no matter where you are. 2. It should be obvious from my language that I am in a contract and therefore legally obligated to pay. It is basically another bill at this point.
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bork

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #221 on: December 15, 2017, 11:53:00 AM »
What is obvious from your language is that you are in dire need of help and I urge you to speak with someone.  Are there any family members that you can move in with, to cut out rent, until you get back on your feet?
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Cindi Mayweather

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #222 on: December 15, 2017, 12:10:10 PM »
I'm trying to get help. Also preparing to become a ho.
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benjipwns

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #223 on: December 15, 2017, 12:15:12 PM »
Before you make further decisions. As your attorney I am required to notify you about certain aspects of the law.

Like how I'm not licensed to practice law anywhere.
salad

Cindi Mayweather

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #224 on: December 15, 2017, 01:08:42 PM »
Tried the church and there's nothing they can do.
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bork

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #225 on: December 15, 2017, 02:27:15 PM »
Becoming a prostitute doesn't sound like a very smart or safe life choice.  If debt is the issue, aren't there services that can help with that sort of thing?
ど助平

shosta

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #226 on: December 15, 2017, 02:37:37 PM »
Yeah, like a job

Anyway she can get a 2k per year salary increase by just dropping jiu jitsu.

Himu, your only chance at being happy is by making a plan to have a functioning life. Things are rough now but you gotta survive. Do what you need to do but bounce your ideas off people with a level head because you might not be in the best decision making place right now. If you're really doing that bad there are government services for you. You can make it work.
« Last Edit: December 15, 2017, 02:41:54 PM by Shostakovich »
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Cindi Mayweather

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #227 on: December 15, 2017, 04:57:20 PM »
Becoming a prostitute doesn't sound like a very smart or safe life choice.  If debt is the issue, aren't there services that can help with that sort of thing?

:lol

It's the best choice at this point. I'm tired of being poor and without prospects.
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Cindi Mayweather

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #228 on: December 15, 2017, 06:11:35 PM »
If I don't get 180 bucks before the 20th I'm fucked. :brazilcry
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Cindi Mayweather

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #229 on: December 16, 2017, 01:48:32 AM »
My friend and I said we'd start escorting together and that we'd' support one another. She had her first client the other day! He didn't fuck her though. They just kinda talked and she got paid? I'm scared but looking forward to getting paid. Some escorts brag about bringing in 10k a month. :hyper Give me money!
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shosta

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #230 on: December 16, 2017, 02:10:05 AM »
If you're hot you're going to end up dead or in jail. If you're not you're just going to stay broke or do increasingly dangerous things to get small amounts of money. Don't become a street ho.
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Cindi Mayweather

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #231 on: December 16, 2017, 02:15:32 AM »
I am going to trade from things like backpage. Screening my first client now.
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Cindi Mayweather

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #232 on: December 16, 2017, 02:26:55 AM »
If you're hot you're going to end up dead or in jail. If you're not you're just going to stay broke or do increasingly dangerous things to get small amounts of money. Don't become a street ho.

http://abcnews.go.com/US/story?id=4451781&page=1

The money :drool
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benjipwns

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #233 on: December 16, 2017, 02:39:53 AM »
that was spring 2008 tho
salad

Cindi Mayweather

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #234 on: December 16, 2017, 02:42:03 AM »
that was spring 2008 tho

I know lots of escorts and they make amazing cash
幻想水滸伝

benjipwns

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #235 on: December 16, 2017, 02:50:40 AM »
After taxes? :teehee
salad

HardcoreRetro

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #236 on: December 16, 2017, 10:01:34 AM »
If I don't get 180 bucks before the 20th I'm fucked. :brazilcry

With your new plan you end up fucked either way.

(Hope the awful joke cheers you up.)



Here's some music that cheered me up in my darkest period.

CatsCatsCats

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #237 on: December 16, 2017, 10:39:34 AM »
If youíre going to do sex work have you thought about being an Internet ho instead? You could start camming, sell access to a snap chat, hopefully hook a whale that will pay you for attention, etc. Safer than meeting johns. Recommended reading: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/23122113-ho-tactics
😽💨

Cindi Mayweather

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #238 on: December 16, 2017, 02:17:05 PM »
I'd rather do actual hooking. More reward.
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Cindi Mayweather

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #239 on: December 18, 2017, 03:04:49 PM »
I seriously don't get the point in continuing to live. Even if I ever become happy, it'll become short lived. I can't have children so I can't pass on my genes. The likelihood of me finding love and getting married is maybe 1%. I'm seriously considering ending it. I don't get the point anymore.
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