Depression/mental health thread

[Madrun Badrun]

I've been having a depression/anxiety episode for 2 weeks now.  I have hardly left home and gotten no work done.  Also ate a shit ton of bad food and drank a lot which doesn't help. 

[shosta]

Everytime you post about an issue you're having I feel like it all just stems from being grinded into a pulp by your thesis process. You have to find a stable equilibrium for this shit or it'll kill you. Do you have a lot of grad school friends that you can vent to? And how is your thesis coming along anyway?

[Madrun Badrun]

Not really, I've been like this for a long time, like since high school.  Thesis pressure doesn't help but it's not the root cause.  Like right now I'm pretty excited to be working on all my projects, and I have a lot of ideas, so I'm actually in a good place for grad school right now. 

[shosta]

Me trying to diagnose problems:

[Assimilate]

does medicine for insane procrastination exist outside of stimulants like adderal?

[I'm a Puppy!]

Yes. I'll tell you later.

[Kara]

Me trying to diagnose problems:
(Image removed from quote.)

I don't think it's a personal problem per se but I feel you analyzed me well enough at Bore-Con.

[Kara]

If only. :'(

[Himu]

Dandy, could it be related to the change in seasons? The sun going down at 6-7 pm can be a downer in early fall.

[shosta]

I don't think it's a personal problem per se but I feel you analyzed me well enough at Bore-Con.

wait what did I even say

or is this a joke about how it's impolite to analyze people over dinner

also it just occurred to me that I still owe you $50

[Himu]

Drank a six pack tonight 

[Tasty]

Yeeeeaaaaahhhh it's probably time for a therapist. That ever burning light keeping my smile going since childhood is running out for like the first time ever. Pretty scary.

[thisismyusername]

Only the dead know peace from that evil. Congrats, you're now an adult.

[Tasty]

Only the dead know peace from that evil. Congrats, you're now an adult.

Just the shot in the arm I needed. Classic TIMU.

[Tasty]

thisismyusername: Driving people to suicide since 1963™

[Trent Dole]

Yeaaah I've been in and out of therapy most of my adult life and probably need to go back since my wife said she's divorcing me a smidge over a month ago now, but it feels like it'd be kind of futile cause like I said, been doing it practically my entire adult life here and there.

[Tasty]

Hey what's the SOP when your drive for living completely collapses

Asking for a friend

[benjipwns]

backlog marathon

[Tasty]

backlog marathon

This close t pokemon? no way

[Madrun Badrun]

I listen to comedy bang bang or watch critical roll.

[Madrun Badrun]

and jerk it.  lots.  didn't know dicks can get calluses.

[shosta]

Arvie's: he beats his meat.

[naff]

Hey what's the SOP when your drive for living completely collapses

Asking for a friend

I know I have been a little rude before and you don't really care for my shit. I've been a very lazy low key contributor here for a long time with a tendency to be a bit derisive, sorry for the neg vibes... I've seen you come a long way in life and think you're great. Hang in there bud. You're doing really well, despite feeling like shit rn.

I have no advice really. Personally, I have done a little therapy but usually avoid cause $ and try smooth bad vibes over by basking in friends and colleagues good graces, doing dinners and watching movies, playing games, keeping in work and saving money. I have a fair bit of anxiety about fucking up and losing my support network at times esp when drinking or smoking too much.

Validation, doing cool stuff and staying comfortable with just enough transgression to not be stagnant is what I aim for ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[Tasty]

That's some good advice, thank you.

[I'm a Puppy!]

Create something.
Even if it sucks. Create something. There's something therapeutic to look at something where there was nothing before and being like "I did that"

[CatsCatsCats]

I think the SOP is reaching out and talking about it. Sending love to your friend

[Himu]

Feeling great mentally. A few weeks ago after talking with someone close to me, they convinced me to no longer discuss politics with people. Just read news and vote and it's been really great not having to pick sides or even converse about it so far. I've applied this to all sectors of my life from irl, social media, to even the bore. No longer talking about politics is a huge burden off my chest. It's not that I don't care anymore, I just don't want to talk to anyone about it besides with people I trust. It's also allowed me to finally shed the gun nut fear mongering I've been surrounded by. Just being a liberal gun supporter who shoots paper at shooting ranges to be trained for self defense situations is a huge mental weight off my shoulders rather than deal with the constant fear mongering. Just letting go feels good since no one really respects anything you say and no one's mind is ever really changed, talking politics is a fruitless endeavor that divides people further. My time on the bore, just chatting about games has made my time on the site better, dealings with RahX aside. I realize I let a lot of online dealings get to me too much. But it's easier to digest when you realize it's best for just not taking seriously. If people you've been posting with for over a decade allow someone to humor the idea that you possibly look like Gary Coleman in a wig, then it's pointless getting mad at all. Getting mad requires investment. Why be invested with people who clearly do not care? This goes for irl as well.

[I'm a Puppy!]

As you all know, my youngest son is autistic. So I have a fair amount of friends that are also parents of autistic kids. One dear friend has a pre-school daughter that in particular is...well....I'm not sure how to describe it...saying she's a handful is an understatement. She's barely verbal, she unlocks doors and then goes running around outside. She never stops trying to escape or getting into things she shouldn't. It's really hard to see how my friend has put her whole life on hold for her daughter. She's no longer who she was. She's just a poor lady always following this kid running around saying "No. Stop that! No. Don't touch! No. Get out of there! No don't paint that! No. Don't cut that!" She really loves her daughter, but even she knows she's completely lost who she was. It's really depressing. 

[CatsCatsCats]

My seasonal affective bs is making me feel to tightly wound, anxious 😟

[Rahxephon91]

Had a real bad episode today guys.

I'm just a mess of a person on a lot of levels and I'm not sure how I'm going to work my way out.

[Himu]

A lot of us are in the same situation. Imo work towards a goal. You’ve told me before you didn’t have any but I think you should aim for what pleases you.

[I'm a Puppy!]

Yeah my seasonal disorder stuff is really rough this year. Hang in there boreans.

[Rahxephon91]

A lot of us are in the same situation. Imo work towards a goal. You’ve told me before you didn’t have any but I think you should aim for what pleases you.

And I  really appreciate this as I've been a huge ass to you recently.

[Himu]

Awww we are all depressed curmudgeons here

Group hug

[Himu]

Another year another thanksgiving alone.

[Tasty]

Another year another thanksgiving alone.

Whenever we do a Bore friendsgiving you're sitting next to me.

[Tasty]

Sorry, only registered users can see this content. Please Login or Register.

[Himu]

Dude. I’m going to tweet you because I feel uncomfortable talking about your public life on this forum.

[Tasty]

How do people deal with this for years? Jesus

[Cryo]

How do people deal with this for years? Jesus

tbh I don’t abuse substances, but doctor’s visits are making it clear that stress/depression/anxiety have taken a physical toll on my body

[Himu]

How do people deal with this for years? Jesus

What's the "you must be logged in to see this post" bb code 

hide

[Kara]

It gets easier after your third or fourth major depressive episode, though to get through my last one I had to do some things that were pretty drastic.

[Himu]

You get numb to it. Eventually you just feel apathy.

[Cryo]

me irl, s/o toku for posting this

[Rufus]

How do people deal with this for years? Jesus

[toku]

One of the big things to learn is that these things, these feelings, tend to have a kind of momentum. You learn to slow the swing, to ride it out in a more intimate way that it becomes maybe less destructive than it often is initially. You'll get good at this and even be able to cut it off early sometimes.

Can't begin to know the intimate details of your situation or what you're feeling but one thing I want you to absolutely get tasty is that you're not alone and that you must be kind to yourself in these moments. Not in some cheesey self-care way (tho take care of yourself) but in a very real disciplined self talking kind of way. Forgive yourself, don't let yourself fall into this trap of thinking & talking badly about yourself. It is not productive at all, don't punish yourself. The world has innumerable ways of doing that already lol

[I'm a Puppy!]

What if you treated yourself like someone you loved?

[CatsCatsCats]

In a real bad spot. Struggling to break thought patterns of suicidal ideation. Feeling isolated. Had a bit of a self harm stimming type breakdown. Dunno brehs

[Tasty]

In a real bad spot. Struggling to break thought patterns of suicidal ideation. Feeling isolated. Had a bit of a self harm stimming type breakdown. Dunno brehs

You're one of my favorite people here and I always look forward to your posts. Don't give up. You are loved.

Are you talking to anyone? Not necessarily a therapist, just someone IRL you can vent to?

[shosta]

We're all here for you, cats.

[CatsCatsCats]

Yeah I mean, I’ve kinda backed myself into a corner that I’m going to need to get therapy. I’ve never been, was raised to treat it with disdain. Lots of alcoholism and shuttered window abuse in my childhood + undiagnosed autism, I’m fairly broken. I need to change something but I’m pretty fearful of trying tbh

[Tasty]

Yeah I mean, I’ve kinda backed myself into a corner that I’m going to need to get therapy. I’ve never been, was raised to treat it with disdain. Lots of alcoholism and shuttered window abuse in my childhood + undiagnosed autism, I’m fairly broken. I need to change something but I’m pretty fearful of trying tbh

A therapist seems like the way to go then, yeah. And at first it'll seem bad and weird and you'll probably feel guilty, then guilty about feeling guilty, but that's normal and please, listen to me: looking after yourself is never bad. Ever.

[Himu]

Spencer Please go to therapist.

[CatsCatsCats]

Tbh I resent my parents for never getting me any help. I dropped out of high school at 15 because of a suicide attempt that got swept under the rug. I was smart enough to pass GED with “honors” that summer without studying and tested into college courses at the community college. The depression swung back around as my first real (super tumultuous) relationship with a girl I met there became my primary focus and I bailed out of my computer science transfer degree. I managed to salvage it into an associates of general studies with one more elective a couple years later but have been stuck in essentially manual labor ever since. Now I’m 30 and feel like I kinda threw away a lot or wasted a lot of my life. Now after years of shouldering almost all the financial burden as my wife had some debilitating health issues, our finances are pretty decent at the moment and I could potentially change jobs, maybe even to part time and do some kind of training but I’m paralyzed with the fear of losing the stability we finally have. A lot of days I just think I’ve gone too far down the wrong paths and long for a reset

[shosta]

definitely not too late. if you had that interest before, you should consider trying to transition into tech again.

[Transhuman]

Hey, need some advice. Lately all my waking thoughts are consumed with intrusive thoughts about committing suicide, until eventually the intrusive thoughts build up and outnumber all the others. When this happens the only thing I keep coming back to in my mind is trying to think of a way to justify to myself all the pain it would cause my brother. Is it possible this could be a sign of some type of depression or something it?

[chronovore]

My reading comprehension is utter shit today, so sorry -- it's not clear if you're wanting to cause your brother pain by committing suicide, or if you're preventing yourself from it by trying to be considerate of a loved one.

Either way, intrusive thoughts which lean toward suicide, yeah, sounds very difficult to deal with and symptomatic of a deeper problem. Get help. If you feel like killing yourself, call a suicide hotline.

I can't remember where you are, so here is an international list of hotline numbers:

http://ibpf.org/resource/list-international-suicide-hotlines

[Transhuman]

My reading comprehension is utter shit today, so sorry -- it's not clear if you're wanting to cause your brother pain by committing suicide, or if you're preventing yourself from it by trying to be considerate of a loved one.

The latter. It's like my love for him is this anchor keeping me alive. I wish he'd die so I there's nothing left preventing me from killing myself. I thought that was normal.

[CatsCatsCats]

Naw, love, most people aren’t stuck in that mindset like us. Find a way out that keeps you intact, and lemme know how you did it

[toku]

not even half way through the month yet lads whew